Protecting the Boundary (LA Wolves #8)

Chapter 15

FIFTEEN

Exhaustion hits me hard as soon as I pull up to the house. Leaving for this away game was rough. It’s always rough on Kay, but this time she had a meltdown of epic proportions. Meredith was forced to pull her off me, and it killed me to walk away from her while she was calling for me, tears streaming down her face.

I’d been hoping I could walk in the door tonight and hold her close, reassuring her that I would always come home to her, but our flight back was delayed due to weather, and now that I’m home and the lights are all off except the front porch, it’s clear I missed my opportunity to see Kaylee before she went to bed.

Grabbing my duffle bag, I head inside. The light under the kitchen cabinets is on and there’s ambient light coming from the family room that I wasn’t able to see from the driveway. I figure Meredith left it on for me before she went to bed in the guest room where she sleeps when I’m away—I’ve noticed she always does considerate things like that. Dropping my bag by the foot of the stairs, I walk in there to turn it off.

Except when I enter the room, I almost run right into Meredith. “Hey, I figured you’d already be asleep. ”

It’s after eleven, and I know she’s typically in bed by nine. Not that I track her movements or anything, but it’s obvious when I walk by the patio doors and see the lights in the guesthouse off.

“I waited up for you. I was hoping I could talk to you about something.”

I gesture to the couch and we both take a seat. “What’s up?” My body tenses with the slight fear that she might be about to quit on me. I know we started out on the wrong foot, but the thought of losing her now leaves a foul taste in my mouth.

She pulls the sleeves of her thin sweatshirt over her fingers and tucks her legs underneath her. “I had an idea I thought might be good to try for Kaylee—to help with the separation anxiety.”

“Okay.”

“What if we come with you?” She holds up her hands. “Now, hear me out before you say no. We wouldn’t fly with you because I’m sure that’s not allowed, but we could stay in the same hotel and come to the game. She could see that you’re playing, and get to be a part of it. We could try it for a game or two to see how she does, and it might help her see what it looks like when you’re playing away games. It’s the not knowing that gives her anxiety.”

“She told you that?”

She tilts her head to the side and then straightens it again. “No, and maybe I’m projecting from my own experience, but I do think it might help.”

When I just stare at her to continue, she explains.

“When I was little, I had pretty bad anxiety whenever my dad went to work. He was the only parent I had, and the more I became aware of that, the more I had this irrational fear that if I couldn’t see him, then something bad would happen to him and I’d be alone. He got his boss’s permission to bring me to work with him one day.”

“And that helped?” She has my full attention now, and I understand why Larissa thought she’d be a good fit. I’d never have considered bringing Kay with me to an away game so she could see what I’m doing when I leave. If it’ll offer her reassurance, I’ll do it.

“Yeah, because I was bored out of my mind,” she says as she laughs. Her smile is infectious and my lips tilt of their own accord. She continues, “Once I knew where he was going, what his day looked like, it didn’t scare me as much when he’d leave. It’s not really rational, but most kids aren’t rational. Based on how she freaked out when you left, I think it’d be worth trying.”

“I’m on board. You don’t need to convince me. I’ll call up the team offices tomorrow and see who makes the travel arrangements and if I can pay for an additional room to be booked for you and Kay. I’m not sure they’ll be able to do it for the next away game, but I’ll see what they can do.”

She smiles, her body sagging against the couch in clear relief, and once again my cheeks tighten as my own lips lift in a smile.

Huh, twice in one night and Kaylee isn’t even awake. She’s the only person besides the guys who can usually get me to smile.

Meredith stands from the couch, her hands twisting in her sweatshirt again. “Well, that was all I wanted to chat about. I’m sure you’re exhausted, so I’ll let you get some sleep. Good night.”

I stand and I don’t know what compels me to call her name and stop her, but I do. She twists to face me, her expression open, her brow arched slightly in question.

“Yeah?”

I don’t know why I stopped her. I don’t really have anything to say, so I just say the first thing that comes to mind. “Thanks. For always thinking of how to make things easier for Kaylee.”

Her smile is soft. “Of course. She’s a really amazing person, Romel. You’ve done really good with her.”

I swallow thickly and nod once. She has no idea how her words affect me, especially when I constantly worry that I’m failing Kaylee in some way that I won’t be able to see for years to come.

With a final little wave, she walks out the patio door, closing it quietly behind her. I watch her walk down the well-lit walkway and then into the guesthouse. I stand there, staring at the door she disappeared behind for who knows how long, trying to figure out what this sensation coursing through me is.

My gaze shifts from Meredith’s door to the wall next to me where I’ve hung a few pictures of Sydney—one from our wedding day, one when we were in college, and one with her holding Kaylee who was only a day old at the time.

That sick sensation slithers through my gut, and I glance back at the guesthouse. Was it attraction I felt?

No.

I move my body closer to the pictures of my wife and out of sight of Meredith’s door. My fingers trace over her face from our wedding photo.

“I won’t be disloyal to you,” I whisper. There’s no one here to hear me, but saying the words out loud reminds me of my purpose in life—to keep Sydney’s memory alive and raise our daughter to be as exceptional as her mother was.

I will never love anyone the way I loved Sydney.

Never.