Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
The night after our aquarium outing, I’m texting my friend Addy about a girls’ night she’s organizing when there’s a gentle knock on my door. A smile breaks across my face as soon as I catch sight of Kaylee standing at the door.
“Hey, KayBear.”
Her smile fills her whole face and it makes my heart soar. I love seeing this girl so happy and carefree.
“Will you come to dinner?”
My stomach does a somersault and I glance behind her at the patio door that’s open. I can’t see Romel from this angle though. He barely spoke to me after the aquarium yesterday, and I have no idea what happened, but maybe this is his way of waving a white flag.
I tuck my phone into my pocket and then take Kay’s hand. “I’d love to,” I tell her with a big smile on my face to match hers.
We walk hand in hand back to the house and enter the dining room right as Romel calls out for Kay. His voice dies as he catches sight of us and his face goes blank—not the sad look I’m used to seeing on him or the soft smiles he’s given me lately, just perfectly blank.
That’s about the same time I look at the table settings and realize there are only two plates—one for him and one of Kaylee’s princess plates.
Oh crap.
Spinning to face the sweet little girl next to me, I squat down so I’m on her level and keep my voice low. “KayBear, did you ask me to dinner without your daddy’s permission?”
“Yeah,” she says in that carefree way that toddlers have when they don’t think there would be any reason for the adult to say no to them.
Oh boy. No wonder he’s now glaring at me—I’m the interloper on his daddy-daughter time with Kaylee. Or he’s still pissed about whatever happened yesterday, although if it’s something I did, I really wish he’d talk to me about it. I feel like all the progress we’ve made just disappeared, and now I’m back to walking on eggshells around him.
“Meredith can’t have dinner with us tonight, Sweetie,” Romel says, his voice soft toward his daughter, but his eyes are still coldly looking at me.
“Why not?” she asks her dad with a pout.
If things were different between us, I would probably tease him by saying, “Yeah, why not?” But considering I don’t want to get fired and I don’t get the impression he’d find it humorous, I bite my lip to keep from smiling and stay focused on Kay.
She’s got the cutest pucker between her brows, and she’s staring at her dad like he just started speaking a foreign language for no reason and she doesn’t understand him.
Romel looks like a deer caught in the headlights, and it hits me that maybe he doesn’t have a good reason. Maybe he just doesn’t want me here, which burns after he’d included me in their weekly adventure like I was part of the team.
Maybe it was stupid of me to think we were all bonding, but it felt right being with him and Kay. There were a few moments early in the day where he smiled wide enough that I caught another glimpse of the slight dimple in his cheek. His brown eyes would catch mine and it would be like we were sharing a secret. All day long, I felt like I was floating, my crush taking a dangerous leap into full-on longing every time our gazes caught.
And then he’d been distracted and it wasn’t until we were walking to the car when I realized something was actually wrong. But I wasn’t about to ask him in front of Kaylee.
Romel’s jaw twitches like he’s gnashing his back teeth. “She just can’t, Kaylee.”
Kaylee blinks several times, her mouth wobbling as she picks up on the tension in the room. She looks up at me with the saddest eyes, her voice soft and weak. “You don’t wanna eat with me?”
I can’t take the heartbroken look on her face, and I immediately wrap her up in my arms and shoot daggers from my eyes at her dad. Then I focus solely on the only person in this room who matters and doesn’t infuriate and confuse me. “KayBear, I would love to eat with you, but I think your dad wants this time with you.”
She sniffles. “But what will you eat?”
I pull back, and the rims of her eyes are pink and watery like she’s on the verge of tears. “I’ve got plenty of food. Tell ya what. How about tomorrow when your dad is at practice, we can have a picnic together. How’s that sound?”
There’s still doubt and confusion in her gaze. She doesn’t understand the tension she feels in the room. I’m even more pissed at Romel right now because he could very easily have just gone with the flow for tonight. It wouldn’t have killed him.
“Okay,” she whispers and then glances at her dad.
I catch him reaching out his hand for her from my periphery and she walks over to him. He sweeps her up in a tight hug, and it takes a second for his gaze to move from the wall he was staring at to meet mine.
At least he’s not glaring at me, but I don’t love the closed off expression on his face either. There’s no warmth there at all.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, KayBear.” Then I dash out the patio doors and toward the guesthouse before either of them can say anything.
I spend the next few hours baking a couple of treats for my picnic with Kay tomorrow and snacking on a charcuterie board I bought. And I think about all the things I want to say to Romel as soon as I know Kaylee is down for bed. Because he and I clearly need to have a talk, and if he won’t be man enough to tell me what’s going on, then I’ll start the conversation. What happened tonight wasn’t fair to me or Kaylee, and if he doesn’t care about me, I know he’ll care about how his actions impact his daughter.
I wait until I’m sure she’s in bed and then march across the yard to the patio doors. I grab the handle to slide it open, but it doesn’t budge and I stare at it like it burned me. Not once since I moved here have these doors ever been locked.
What the hell is going on?
I knock, irritated, but underneath that irritation is unease and, worst of all, hurt. What the hell happened yesterday that’s changed Romel so dramatically? I’ve tried to rack my brain over the last few hours to figure it out, but I can’t think of anything that stands out. We were having a great time and then suddenly he checked out.
I knock again until I finally see him come from the hallway that leads to his in-home gym. He’s in gym shorts and no shirt, his dark chest glistening with sweat. Around his neck is a chain I’ve never noticed before with two rings on it—wedding bands. My stomach tightens with nerves and a stupid mix of lust and heartbreak. I shouldn’t want a man who is so obviously emotionally unavailable.
He opens the patio doors, the muscle of his jaw tensing and the muscles on his stomach flexing in a way that absolutely should not make my mouth water at this moment.
Talk about bad timing to be turned on. Jesus Christ.
My lips part, but no words come out. My brain has turned to mush at the sight of this man’s body.
“What?” he grumbles.
I look into his deep brown eyes, wishing so badly for the warmth that was there just yesterday. “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.” I’m not letting him try to gaslight me into thinking there hasn’t been a change. There’s no way he could miss it, especially when he’s the one who’s changed.
“I don’t have time for this, Meredith. I need to get a workout in before bed.”
I push myself past him, brushing against his firm body. God, he’s broad and fit and so fucking droolworthy, it’s not even fair. “I’ll make this quick then,” I say as he turns around and crosses his arms. “We were fine yesterday at the aquarium and then we weren’t. Did I do something?”
His jaw clenches, but he shakes his head.
I step closer to him. “I don’t believe you,” I say, hating how my voice shakes. “Something happened and I deserve to know what it was. What happened tonight with Kaylee wasn’t okay.”
Anger sparks in his eyes and he steps forward, closing the distance so we’re practically toe to toe as he stares down at me. “Do not talk to me about my daughter.”
“I’m her nanny. It’s my job to talk to you about your daughter.” I want to add asshole , but don’t.
“You know what I mean.”
I plead with him now because I want to understand what the hell is going on. “Romel, please. What happened yesterday? Why are you shutting me out and being cold all of a sudden?”
His gaze darts back and forth between my eyes, his chest heaving as he drops his hands. His head lowers slightly, and I suck in a shuddering breath as he stares at me with such heartbreak and self-recrimination.
“Romel,” I whisper, my gaze dropping to his mouth.
He takes in a labored breath. “I will not cheat on my wife.”
His dead wife.
My heart stalls in my chest as my gaze darts back to his, seeing the seriousness in his expression. My nose burns with the threat of tears, and emotion builds in my throat.
At least I got one thing answered tonight—I wasn’t alone in feeling a spark between us. I’m only alone in wishing it would turn into a wildfire, while he’s wishing his wife was still alive.
“I never asked you to,” I choke out and then move around him and walk out the door back to the guesthouse.
I don’t look back because if I do, he’ll see the tears streaming down my face as a confusing mix of emotions slams into me. Or worst of all, I’ll look back to find that he’s not looking at me at all.