TWENTY-FOUR
My alarm goes off at five and I turn it off immediately, glancing to make sure it didn’t wake up Kaylee, but she’s still fast asleep on the cot, one leg sticking out from under her blanket and both her arms over her head, her mouth slack with sleep. A soft smile lifts my lips as I stare at her, and then I look at the man next to me and bite back a laugh when I see him sleeping in almost the exact same position as his daughter.
I roll over, facing him, and tuck my hands under my cheek as I stare at him. His face is much more peaceful when he’s asleep than it is when he’s awake.
I touch my lips, recalling the kiss.
The kiss that was earth-shattering and yet peacefully soothing at the same time. We didn’t do anything more than that one kiss, but it felt like it permanently altered something inside of me.
No man’s lips on mine have ever felt as right as Romel’s. And the way he looked at me like I was a gift when he pulled away, before we both fell asleep, was more than I ever dreamed I’d get from him.
A part of me can’t wait for him to wake up so we can figure out where we go from here, but the other part of me just wants to live in this blissful peace for as long as possible.
I don’t get to enjoy the bliss for long because a few minutes later his phone alarm goes off and he turns it off with a groan. The thick muscles in his arms flex as he scrubs his face and then turns to me.
“Morning,” I say, keeping my voice low, but unable to stop my smile.
“Morning,” he says, his voice still thick with sleep.
He rolls out of bed and heads to the bathroom, grabbing his clothes on the way there.
Okayyy. That was not the reaction I was expecting this morning. While he’s in the bathroom, I quickly get dressed, and then stare at the bed wondering what happened between him kissing me and us waking up.
Is it always going to be one step forward, three steps back with him? I don’t know if I can take that, always wondering when he’s going to pull away from me.
Maybe we shouldn’t have crossed that line. Maybe it would’ve been better to keep professional boundaries in place.
He comes out of the bathroom and stops when he sees me standing at the foot of the bed already dressed. “We should wake up Kay, so you guys can get to the airport with plenty of time to get through security and everything.”
Is that really all he’s going to say to me?
“Uh, yeah, I guess we should.” I turn to wake her up, but stop and spin back around to face him. I take two steps toward him. “We should talk about last night first.”
He looks down at the floor. “Maybe it was a mistake.”
It feels like an elephant just sat on my chest. I can’t speak over the shock and hurt. It would be one thing to tell me he needed time to think about things, but to call it— me —a mistake is devastating.But I bury my feelings .
Without another word to him, I turn around and focus on Kaylee. “Hey, KayBear, it’s time to wake up.”
I get her dressed while Romel orders room service so she can eat breakfast before we need to leave. Neither of us talk much to each other as Kay eats and we pack up. I guess there’s nothing to say. Words burn in my gut, all the things I wish I could say if Kaylee wasn’t here and I didn’t value my job.
The flight home is uneventful, and we arrive home shortly after Romel does.
“You can take the rest of the day off,” he says, his voice still distant.
I stare at him longer than I should, hurt and confused. He breaks our stare, and his gaze darts to the wall behind me. I know what’s there. I’ve lived here long enough to know where all of Sydney’s pictures are hanging up. Kay and I sometimes look at them. Lately she’s been curious about what features she shares with her mom, so I’ve spent more time than usual looking at the beautiful woman who’s left such a gaping hole of grief in this house.
Pain flashes across his eyes, and I hate that I understand what’s holding him back.
I would never ask him to stop loving her, but I wish he could see that it’s okay to let someone else in.
Kay’s in her room which is the only reason I step forward and cup his cheek. “I understand, Romel. I get it.” The words come out slightly stilted with emotion, but I need him to know I understand. I may not like it, but there’s not much I can do about that.
His eyes dart between mine, a slight pinch between his brows. Pushing up on my tiptoes, I kiss his cheek—just one last time before I don’t let myself touch him anymore—and then head out the front door. I’m not going back to the guesthouse today. I need space from him, from the feelings he stirs up in me that will never be returned.
So, I go to the only person I can when I’m confused and heartbroken—my dad.
He looks up from the car he’s still tinkering with, and as soon as he sees my face, he sets his tools down and holds his arms out. I burrow into his hug. “I think I’m falling for him, Dad.”
He doesn’t say anything, but his arms tighten around me. I pull back just enough to look up at his face, his beard more full of gray than I remember. “Do you think someone can love two people at once?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s possible, but the person has to be open to it.”
I rest my head back on his chest, my heart sinking. “Yeah, that’s what I thought you’d say.”
And I know Romel will never let himself be open to loving anyone but Sydney.