Pushed

Chapter 23

When the doctorcame in and told us that Dad would be okay, we all breathed a collective sigh of relief. He was stable. For now at least.

My heart nearly stopped when I’d received the call, and it only AJ’s calming presence had kept me from running out the door as fast as I could. I’d felt like the walls were closing in on me. When I was a kid, I’d run out to my tree house when I got upset about something. I wished I could go hide out there right then. And stay out there until everything returned to normal.

If only that were possible.

My thoughts kept whirling as I sat on the hard lobby chair. No doubt the result of all the coffee I’d consumed that day, mixed with stress and the uncertainty of Dad’s condition. Even after Dad returned home, he wouldn’t be able to do everything he used to do. He’d have to make some major changes in his life if he wanted to avoid another heart attack. Which meant I needed to make some changes.

Even if it broke my heart to do it.

I’d worked so hard to achieve this level of success and financial security, which paved the way for me to buy this restaurant—something that was mine, but that also helped my family. None of that mattered anymore. Family had always been what was most important. And they needed me. Dad needed me.

A cavernous yawn snuck out of me. The crushing weight of responsibility and exhaustion pressed down on me. I wanted to curl up and sleep for a month, then maybe everything would be fine when I woke up. But no. It was time for me to step up, to show them I was more than a thrill-seeking jokester, that they could count on me.

When I was in high school, I couldn’t wait to go to college and leave the farm. I hadn’t wanted to be stuck living a small-town life. I’d had big dreams, big goals—a whole world to explore.

But there I was, ten years later, back home.

What if I became stuck on the farm, forever? What if helping my father, my family, meant giving up everything I’d worked for?

Those fears paled with what I felt when I’d heard we might lose Dad. And maybe, just maybe, if I kept the farm alive, it might keep Dad alive, too. The farm was in his blood, his heart and soul, so my theory wasn’t as ridiculous as it might sound.

But what if I couldn’t do it all?

What if I had to choose between my financial stability, my family, and my future?

If I sacrificed my restaurant dream, would I also be losing my heart at the same time? What would happen to my relationship with AJ if we were no long partners, if we were no longer fake engaged?

She was nestled right up next to me, with her head resting on my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. My arm was around her shoulders, and I was tempted to pull her onto my lap and keep her close. But I couldn’t have everything I wanted. Besides, it was already the middle of the night, and she needed to work in the morning.

I gently nudged her. “Hey.”

“Whaaa—”

She mumbled and snuggled in closer. I’d love nothing more than to keep her close like this—forever—but I didn’t want her to suffer for it later.

I shook her shoulder. “Hey, Princess. Time to get up.”

She swatted my chest in her sleep like I was her alarm clock. “No… five more minutes.”

“You have to work tomorrow. You should go home and get some real sleep.”

She lifted her head and rubbed her eyes before prying them open to look at me. “What about you? Are you going home too?”

I shook my head. “I’m gonna stay with Mom. They took Dad to the ICU, and he’s sleeping now. There’s really nothing more we can do tonight. My siblings just left to get some sleep, since they have to work in the morning. But mom refuses to leave, and I don’t want her to be alone.”

“Don’t you have to work, too?”

“Yeah.” I gave a half-hearted shrug. “But I can sleep here as well as at home.”

She reached up and touched my cheek. “You’re a good man, Jasper Rhodes.”

My breath caught and my skin tingled at her touch. And I wanted to hold her hand there and stop time.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay? I don’t mind.” Her hand dropped and my cheek felt cold in its absence.

“I’ll be fine. Now that the initial shock has worn off, I feel more settled. I’ll find a chair or a corner somewhere and steal a few Z’s.” I stood and stretched my back.

“Alright. If you’re sure.”

“Let me walk you out to your car.”

She stood and picked up her purse from the chair next to her, then wrapped her arm around mine as we walked toward the door.

When we reached her car, I pulled her to my chest and held her tight. “Thanks for staying with me. That meant a lot.”

“I’m glad I could be here for you. And don’t worry about the restaurant. I can pick up the slack while your dad’s recovering.”

I released her and stepped back. Not only had this woman been my rock tonight when I needed her, but now she was offering to do whatever she needed to do to keep our dream alive. If I had any doubt before, it was gone now.

I was falling hard for this woman.

Caring and tenderness glowed in her eyes, but also something deeper. Something I hadn’t seen there before, smoldering just beneath the surface. Was it love? Could it be she felt the same way about me?

Maybe it was time to find out.