28. Alan
28
ALAN
A lan caught Kendra’s comment about not taking hot baths since she was pregnant and almost pounced on the opening to ask about her life before Amy. But he let it go past because he still wasn’t sure how to ask the questions he wanted answers to. Was she grieving Amy’s father? Hiding from someone abusive? It was obviously a sensitive topic and Alan didn’t just want to blunder thoughtlessly into it.
He rinsed off Amy and bundled her into a towel after the water cooled, playing peek-a-boo as he dried her off. She was at her most adorable, laughing and lighting up every time she saw him.
Kendra went out to her van to get a pair of pajamas and a fresh diaper, and Alan was surprised and delighted when she brought in a folding playpen with her, complete with a blanket and stuffies.
“I don’t want to assume, but does this mean you’ll be staying the night?”
“I didn’t want to assume that the invitation extended to that,” Kendra countered, “but I brought it so that I could. If we got there.”
She dressed Amy and sat down with a board book on the couch while Alan set up the combination crib and playpen in the spare bedroom. He didn’t have a nightlight, but there was a lamp he could put in the closet and when he pulled the door most of the way shut, it was a perfect sliver of light.
When he came out, feeling like a genius for arriving at that solution, Amy was already asleep in Kendra’s arms.
“Baths really are magic,” Kendra said in awe, very quietly so Amy wouldn’t wake up. She gathered Amy up and brought her into the bedroom, leaning over to set her down in the bottom of the playpen with her blanket.
Alan met her at the door and could not help kissing her again, getting a hand at her waist this time to pull her close. She made a little noise of surrender and kissed him back, then turned and shut the door behind her.
Alan kissed her in the hallway a little longer, not sure if he should guide her straight back to his bedroom, or be more of a gentleman.
Gentlemen are overrated , his raven suggested.
“I should have brought a bottle of wine,” Kendra said, during a gap for breathing.
“I don’t drink,” Alan said. “Though you are always welcome to.”
“Oh,” Kendra said in surprise, like everyone did when the topic came up. “Is there a reason?”
“My hearty Russian vodka-loving genetics are at war with my low-tolerance Yu’pik genetics. I saw what drinking could do to people, and how easy it was to get addicted to it, and I decided at a very young age that the easiest way to quit was not to start. I can’t say I haven’t been tempted, but I’ve never been sorry. And it makes me very popular as a designated driver.”
“That’s very wise of you,” Kendra said. “I admire your resolve. Though I suppose, like hot baths, that’s a thing I haven’t done since before I was pregnant, either.”
There was that opening again. Alan let it pass with effort that Kendra apparently didn’t miss.
“You haven’t asked me about Amy’s father.”
“I figure it’s none of my business,” Alan said firmly.
“Like my driving record and my vital statistics?” Kendra needled him.
“ Touché .”
“Did you…find anything about it? About Amy’s father, I mean?” Had he gone looking for it?
“Not a shred,” Alan said. “Which is when I realized that if you didn’t want people to know, I needed to respect that.”
Kendra gave an exhale. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “I mean, I’m relieved that I didn’t leave any breadcrumbs. And I appreciate that respect. But…I think I should tell you. It’s not something I’m particularly proud of, but it’s part of who I am and how I got here.”
“The living room?” Alan suggested. “There’s a bedroom in that direction, but I don’t want to be That Guy.”
“You could not possibly be That Guy,” Kendra said, but she led him back to the living room and took a seat on the couch, inviting Alan to sit beside her. She laid her hand on his thigh. “I know That Guy. That Guy is Amy’s dad.”