Raze (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #1)

Chapter 14

I’m humiliated and hurt, but above anything, I’m angry. What Raze just did out there on the beach in front of all those people was unnecessary. As I pace the floor of his hut and try to calm myself down, it only seems to have the opposite effect.

I can still hear the music and the laughter coming from the fire pit, where I should still be, enjoying myself with everyone else. I was getting on great with Alicia, another member’s sister, and Corey, who was a fun guy to be around. The guy who was smoking the joint made me laugh too. I don’t believe that he knew what he was sharing with me was dangerous and Raze had no right to storm over and treat him the way he did. Or to demand that I leave in front of everyone like that.

I don’t know how long I spend winding myself up and thinking about how angry Raze looked. I go over his words again, wondering what he was going to claim I was to him before he stopped himself. Raze treats me as if I belong to him and as furious as I am with him right now, I can’t help liking the idea.

Eventually, I take off my clothes, automatically throwing on one of his tee’s to sleep in, and when I get under the covers all I can do is stare at the ceiling and reel in confusion.

The noise outside dies down after a few more hours, but I still don’t manage to get any sleep and I’ve lost all track of time when I hear the door open. I sit up and see Raze standing between its frame staring at me as if I’m the one in the wrong.

I won’t stand for that.

“What you did tonight was cruel,” I tell him, getting out of bed and moving toward him. “It was an overreaction and humiliating.” I’m surprised that he doesn’t argue back at me. Instead, he stands still and unresponsive, his eyes staring into mine and threatening to strike at any moment. “Why do you have to be so confusing?” I continue to get closer, shaking my head and trying hard not to cry. The way this man behaves messes with my head. “You want to treat me like I’m yours?” I slam my palm hard into his solid chest but it has no effect, he still holds the same stern look on his face and refuses to react. “But you're too scar—” His hand clasps at my jaw, silencing me as he drags me onto his mouth and kisses me. It’s hard and possessive and the tension in his fingers almost crush my bones but I like how it feels.

His body overpowers mine forcing me to step backward with our lips staying connected until the back of my legs hit the table. Strong, calloused hands slide behind my thighs, lifting me up and slamming my ass firmly on its surface before he takes off his cut and launches it at the couch. His hands quickly return to me, one of them sliding behind my ear while the other wraps around the trunk of my body and drags it tight against him. So tight that I feel his cock pressing hard and taut between my legs.

I should be scared, especially considering all I’ve been through with Billy, but I can’t think of a time when I’ve ever been so desperate for something in my life.

Having his hands on me and feeling his breath on my skin feels like the cure for everything I’ve suffered in my past and I want to drown in it.

His kisses almost hurt, his fingers feel like they’re bruising, but I want it all, I want his skin against mine and his cock buried inside me.

I lift up the tee he’s wearing and instead of stopping me, he reaches over his back and aids me in dragging it off. Then sliding his palms up my thighs and onto my hips he grips at the one I’m wearing and slides it up over my body. Our lips reconnect as soon as he lifts it over my head and when his rough palm grips tightly around one of my tits I throw my head back and take pleasure from the kisses he places on my neck.

Everything about this is erratic and raw, this is Raze letting go of himself. Losing control and giving in to his urges.

“That was my tee,” he whispers against my skin as he continues trailing kisses along my neck, toward my ear. I can feel him resting thick and heavy between my legs and it’s driving me crazy. So crazy that I have to grip my nails into his broad shoulders to try to sustain the ache inside me.

“I like wearing it, it makes me feel close to you,” I admit, not caring how stupid it sounds. It’s the truth.

“I thought you were mad at me,” he whispers in my ear, grazing my lobe with his teeth and making me dampen my panties at the same time.

“Raze,” I breathe out his name and rub my hips into his, desperate to feel some friction.

“What ya want, darlin’?” He pulls back and looks at me, his eyes narrow and his forehead creased.

“You know what I want.” I look down between us and see him bulging in his jeans. My heart is beating fast and my skin shivers with anticipation. I’ve only been here a few days and yet the tension between us feels as if it’s been building for years.

Reaching between us I start to unbuckle his belt, my hands are shaky and they fumble because, as much as I need this, I’m nervous as hell. I manage to get his jeans open and when I delve my hand into the front of them he makes a low, feral growl when I slide my palm over his length

“That feels so fuckin’ good,” he tells me, as I wrap my fingers around him and stroke him through my fist. He looks down, giving all his attention to watching how I work him, and after a few minutes, he takes me off guard when he lifts me back off the table and carries me over to the bed.

Landing me on the mattress, he hooks his fingers into the waistband of my panties and drags them down my thighs. Then, after pulling them off my ankles he stands back and stares at me. I’m fully naked and completely exposed, but his eyes feel as good on me as his hands do. I can see him fighting against his desires, doubting that what happens next is a good idea, and just as I’m about to try and convince him that it is, he lowers to his knees and buries his head between my legs.

The first stroke of his tongue is long and agonizingly slow as it slips between my folds, and I grip the sheets beneath me and moan as he circles it around my clit. His hands rest on my thighs holding me open as he flicks me with his tongue and makes me buck against his face in desperation. I feel something building, getting stronger with each lap he makes with that tongue and when I feel two of his fingers slip inside me it’s his hair that I grip instead of the sheet. I lift my hips off the mattress to meet his rhythm and when I open my eyes and look down my body, seeing the way he’s watching me, instantly makes me come apart.

My legs shake but he holds them firm, giving me more of his tongue as I thrust against it and let everything go. I wonder if the high will ever end and he seems to be doing everything in his power to prolong it. It’s exhilarating and when I finally start to come down I feel all out of breath.

“You taste good,” he whispers as he climbs up my body and kisses me again, his jeans are still resting on his hips, open at the front and allowing me to feel his cock as it presses against my spread-open pussy.

“You taste how fuckin’ good that is?” he whispers against my lips as his cock rubs against me and he slips his tongue into my mouth. I can’t respond, I’m too distracted, wondering how that cock is going to feel inside me. I already know this is going to be different from all those times with Billy. I want this, and I never thought that would be possible after what I’ve been through in the past.

“Please, Raze. I need it,” I whisper and suddenly I feel him pull away. He looks shocked, maybe even scared as he stands up at the foot of the bed. He looks down at me, scrubbing his hand over his mouth like he’s having those doubts again.

“Raze, what's wrong?” My whole body feels on fire, and the hollowness inside me is unbearable.

“I shouldn’t be doing this.” He shakes his head as he backs further away and starts to button up his jeans.

“No, don’t do that. Don’t back away from me again.” I climb out of bed and head toward him. “I felt it, you were into it just as much as I was. Why do you keep pushing me away?” The tears I’m crying now aren’t out of anger, but sadness.

“Where do you want me to start? Because there's a million different reasons.” Raze picks his tee up from the floor and slides it back over his head. Then stepping toward me he frames my cheek with his palm and wipes away one of my tears with the pad of his thumb.

“Let me protect you, please.” His eyes are sad and as soft as his touch and he doesn’t wait for me to respond before he turns around, picks up his cut, and slams his way out the door.