Chapter 15
“You good, Boss?” I get shaken awake and when I open my eyes and Saint’s the first person I see, I jump in shock.
Sitting up, I crick my neck and take in my surroundings. It seems I ended up on one of the couches in the clubhouse and my head is thumping.
“You sleep here last night?” he asks. Picking up the empty bottle of Jack from the floor and laughing to himself.
“Looks that way.” I stumble up on my feet and scratch my chest, then suddenly it all hits me.
“Fuck.” I curse out loud when I remember how far I took things last night with Peyton, and I know it was wrong because now I can’t get the way her pussy tasted outta my head.
“You wanna coffee?” He smiles at me, already firing up the machine.
“I need one,” I admit scrubbing my hand over my face and taking a seat at the bar.
“So what went down last night? I had to leave early.” He places the steaming mug in front of me.
“Why?” I question. I question everybody and their actions around here at the moment.
“I was startin’ to feel the fatigue I get when Sinner wants to take over. I don’t think he would have fitted in too well with the family vibe you were goin’ for last night.” He smiles at me sadly.
“Yeah, well it didn’t work out,” I admit, except for the presence of a few siblings and Peyton, last night was just another wild Soul party.
“That why you ended up sleepin’ in here?” he asks.
“I just needed some space, the beach hut can be a little claustrophobic,” I lie, still thinking about how I messed up last night. I lose control of all my senses when I’m around that damn girl. I forgot all the reasons why her staying here is a bad idea, and I gave in to my urges. But what made walking away from it even harder was how badly I could see she wanted it too.
Now I feel like I've led the girl on and that's not fair. Peyton is too young and too inexperienced to analyze what this really is. She’s scared and vulnerable right now, her big, bad wolf is out there in the wild and she sees me as her protector. Her feelings for me aren’t genuine, they're subconsciously fabricated to ensure her survival. But that doesn’t make it any easier to forget how pretty she looked when she came for me, or the sweet, little noises she made while my fingers stroked inside her.
“You know folk are talkin’, wonderin’ why you ain’t claimed her yet?” I spit my coffee back into the mug when I hear what Saint says.
“Claimed her?”
“Come on, she’s stayin’ at your place, you took Griller’s eye out because of what he said ‘bout her. And last night you got pretty mad at her for hangin’ out with Freddie Banbrooke's nephew.”
Of course, that little prick would be related to him. I should have figured.
“She’s just vulnerable. I’m looking out for her,” I tell him, trying to convince myself of the same damn thing while picturing that look she had on her face when my tongue was between her legs.
“Well, it looks like a lot more than that. Just sayin’.” Saint shrugs.
“I gotta take a shower.” I put down my mug and stand up, I don’t need to answer to Saint or anyone else. People around here can think what they want.
I head out the door and the morning sun hits far too bright as I step onto the balcony. There's empty cups and more than a few items of clothing spread all across the deck and when I look down at the beach it’s in just as bad a state. Sonny’s showing he’s keen, as he walks in with a litter picker and a trash bag making a start on the cleanup.
“Good job, kid.” I tip my chin at him as I move down the stairs and head to my hut to shower and face all the wrong I did last night.
Peyton is still asleep when I peek through the hut door, and I'm pissed as hell when I realize that she slept with it unlocked. You’d think someone who’d been through the hell she has would be wise to this kinda stuff and I swear being here makes her feel invincible.
I manage to grab a towel without waking her and head straight back out toward the shower. I keep the water cold as I lather up my skin remembering all the ways she touched me and how her nails felt digging into my flesh. I don’t know how I managed to stop myself from going all the way last night. It only proves that despite what I try to deny, I care about her. I know I’m bad for her, but the feelings I got are growing at a rate I can’t keep up with, it’s different to anything I’ve ever felt before, and right now it’s consuming me. I know that once I have her that way I’d never let her go and she’s got far too much to look forward to in her life than to tie herself to me.
I finish up in the shower and wrap the towel around my waist before I step inside, and when I see her, up, outta bed, and sitting at the table in the same shirt of mine that she had on last night, my cock instantly reacts.
“Mornin’.” I clear my throat as I step past her and pull my travel bag from under the bed.
I could make it to our Nevada charter in a day, but it ain’t just me going. I’m not a nomad anymore. I’m a leader and I have to take the other brothers who are coming on this run with me into consideration.
She purposely ignores me at first, keeping her head down and focused on the magazine she’s flicking through, but when she notices me packing up some clothes she suddenly loses her calm.
“Raze, what are you doing?” Her eyes look wild and scared as she abandons the magazine and stands up.
“I’m goin’ on a run,” I explain, checking I got a charger for my phone.
“No, you can’t leave here. We have to talk about what happened last night.” My cock pulses when I think about how close I came to knowing what it would be like to be inside her.
Why do I torture myself with those kinda thoughts? They’re the ones that get me into trouble.
“Ain’t nothin’ to talk about, I should never have let it get that far.”
I pull on some clean boxers and a pair of jeans under the towel I’m wearing before looping my belt and trying to find a shirt to wear.
“Don’t say that.” Her hand touches my shoulder and when I spin around and she’s right there in front of me, all those urges I got to make her mine slice through my chest and make me feel weak again.
I can’t give in to them.
I won’t.
“Last night, I was–”
“You were swept up in a moment. We both were, but that don’t make it right.” I pull on a black tee and go to move past her but she moves to block me.
“You can’t leave and you can’t ignore this, Raze.”
“I have to.” Even my words come out fuckin’ weak as I grab her shoulders and shift her out my way. I pick up my bag and I’m almost at the door before she calls after me.
“There’s been no one since him.” My feet freeze to the spot, giving her the chance to catch up and put herself right back in front of me.
“He was the last person I had touch me, he was the last person I had inside me.” She stutters on her breath as she explains. “I liked how it felt when you started replacing all that,” she confesses, unable to look me in the eye because she’s still ashamed of what that asshole did to her.
“Look at me.” I like that she instantly does as I tell her. Though, seeing her big, green eyes magnified with unshed tears makes my heart split in two.
“You never be embarrassed of what that man did to you, that's his shame to bear, not yours.” I can’t help touching her even though I shouldn’t, the tear that runs over her cheek don’t belong there. He’s not worthy of it.
“I wish I could be the person to heal ya darlin’ but I’m not,” I whisper as I wipe it away. “You're young and there’s a whole world out there for you to see. You don’t belong here, and you sure as hell don’t belong with me. I’ll be back in a few days,” I tell her sadly, leaning forward and placing a kiss on her forehead before I head out the door and go back to the clubhouse.
It’s a few hours later when we got the cage loaded up and all the members in the parking lot. A few of the whores are out here to see us off, but there's no sign of Peyton, and I have to ignore the sinking feeling that puts in my stomach.
“What kinda point you tryin’ to make here, Prez?” Wrath asks me under his breath while all the brothers who are coming saddle their bikes. “You know I should be on this run, I’m your V fuckin’ P.”
“Which is why you should be here, takin’ charge while I’m away,” I point out.
“Nah, that's bullshit, there ain’t nothin’ to take charge of here.”
“Well then, catch up on some reading and spend the next couple days gettin’ your dick sucked.” I shrug as I take my own saddle. I’ve known Wrath a lotta years. There was a time when we were closer than brothers. I know that look on his face. He wants to drag my ass into that fight pit and attempt to kick the shit outta me, but today’s not Wrath's day for that.
I look behind me and check that Rocco is ready, and once he gives me a thumbs up from the driver's seat of the cage I start my engine, revving the throttle so everyone knows it’s time to leave.
“Wait….!” I hear a voice scream over all the engines as they vibrate the walls around the yard and when I look in my side mirror I see Peyton, running through the gate that leads down to the beach and coming straight for me. She’s all outta breath when she gets to me, but that doesn’t stop her sliding her hand behind my head and pressing her lips tight against mine. She kisses me in the yard in front of my whole club, and I got no choice but to kiss her back because I’m feelin’ nothin’ but relief and my willpower has up and fuckin’ gone.
“I don’t care what you think. I am here, Raze, and I do belong to you,” she whispers with her cheeks flushing pink and her eyelashes batting. Then turning back around she races back off the way she came.
I’m fully aware that everyone around us will have witnessed what just happened, but I don’t care as I kick down my stand and get off my bike, marching behind her and calling her name.
She stops, looking fearful as she turns around and I approach her. I snatch all the breath outta her body when I pick her up, wrap her legs around my hips, and slam her against the back wall beside the gate.
“I’m president of this club and you don’t get to come out here and claim me like that in front of all my members,” I growl under my breath at her
“Oh god, that wasn’t what I… I was ju—” I shut her up when I smash my lips over hers, scrunching up her soft, brown hair in my fist and kissing her in front of everyone who’s watching so they know for sure that this girl is mine.
My tongue dances around hers, getting one last taste of her before I hit the road.
“We’ll talk about this when I get back.” Gripping her jaw and in my hand, I stare into her round, bewildered eyes, before placing her back on her feet and heading back to my bike.
I ignore all the claps and whistles I get from my brothers as I saddle up and lead us out.