Raze (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #1)

Chapter 20

There’s tension in the barroom when all the men step out from their meeting, most of them head for the bar, but Griller heads out the door, slamming it behind him.

“What’s gotten into him?” Sonny asks Vike, who takes a seat beside him and looks at the hand I’ve just dealt him.

He shakes his head at me discreetly and screws up his nose to let me know Sonny’s got nothing, so I raise him a few more matchsticks as I watch Raze head for his office looking frustrated.

“What’s up with him?” I cave in and ask.

“Which one?” He looks back at me cleverly.

“Both of them.” I lay down my cards for Sonny to see and he curses as he throws his in the middle.

“Let’s just say they disagree about how a situation should be handled.” Vike gives nothing away. I know Raze doesn’t see eye to eye with Griller which is a terrible term of phrase considering I’ve heard the rumor that it was Raze who took his eyeball out. Not that I believe it. Raze can be brutal but not that bad.

“Well, isn’t that what the meetings are for, so you vote?” I pick up the cards and shuffle them.

“Vote was split, Prez gets final say.” He shrugs, hanging his smoke between his lips as he takes the deck from my hand and starts to shuffle them himself. I wonder if they call him Vike because he looks like a Viking. He’s almost as big as Sasquatch, and although his blonde hair is shaved at the sides, it’s long on top. I smile to myself when I imagine him in furs.

“And where did your vote go?” I’m curious to know more about these men who Raze calls his brothers.

“I back my prez, always will. He was asked by Jimmer to take this role for a reason. If Griller’s ideas were all that wise, I’m sure he’d have asked him.”

“What about his brother? Alicia told me he left.” I never ask Raze these kinds of questions for fear of putting him in a bad mood. I know he hates not being sure who he can depend on.

“Greaser will be back, he’s always throwin’ a hissy if things don’t go his way. Both of ‘em do. I’m surprised Griller’s stuck around without him here. Makes me wonder what for.” He must have realized he’s said his thoughts out loud because he taps the cards on the table and quickly changes the subject.

“Am I cuttin’ you in on this?” he asks.

“No, I’m going to go check on Raze.” I stand up and attempt to smile at one of the girls on the other side of the room, but as usual, it’s not reciprocated.

I knock on the door and when Raze calls for me to come in, for some strange reason I feel nervous.

“Hey, darlin’.” He swivels round in his chair and pats his lap for me to sit on it.

“You okay?” I step toward him and carefully place myself down.

“I am now.” He grabs my face and kisses me, and when I smell oil on his hands the little bit of panic that rises in my chest is quickly soothed by the way he strokes my hair.

“You seemed mad when you came out of your meeting,” I point out, slowly accepting how the smell of oil is different on him than it was on Billy.

“Yeah well, Griller put somethin’ to the table that I didn’t like,” he tells me, his fingers clutching into the skirt of my dress in frustration.

“You wanna tell me what that was?” I ask, trying my best to sound playful and lift his mood. He didn’t seem happy when he left the hut this morning either and I’m sure it had something to do with all the questions I was asking him about his past relationships.

“Do ya wanna know?” He shakes his head and reaches for his cigarettes

“Yeah, Raze, I wanna know.” There’s nothing I want this man to keep from me, even if it’s bad.

“There’s a rival club based about 5 hours from here,” he starts to explain and I feel myself go cold. “We just got word that they lost one of their members.”

“How?” I ask, far too quickly.

“I don’t know, I hate to say it but in this life, death’s just round the corner.” I let what he’s said sink in while he lowers his head.

“Anyway, we’ve been havin’ our suspicions that the Reapers will see the club being under new leadership as a weakness and make a move on us.”

“What kind of move?” I stare at him, starting to worry. I never really thought much about the fact my brother and the man I’ve grown to care about so deeply are on different sides.

“Either on the streets or here. They’d wanna thin out our numbers, make us appear weak so men like Burlusconi don’t trust us. The Reapers have been building over the last five years, they want the bigger jobs now. If we can’t keep up with Burlusconi’s distribution demands he’d have to go to a different source. They wanna be that source because Burlusconi’s paycheck is hefty.”

“So, what does this have to do with one of their club members dying?” I frown, trying to keep up, and wondering who that member is. Maybe they found Malice’s body. Kane has no idea where I am and the phone is still in the glove compartment of my car, he’d have no way of warning me. Or worse, what if it’s Kane who’s dead because they found out what I did?

“Griller wants to raid the club on Wednesday after the member’s funeral.” I slam my hand over my mouth.

“I’m against it too.” He notices the horror in my reaction. “Yeah, they’re our rivals but they still are brothers who lost someone close to them. Women and kids could be at that funeral so I won’t risk it.” He slams down his glass.

“But he’s right, we have to strike them before they strike us, so once this funeral is over, we’re movin’ in.”

“No!” My heart sinks into my chest when I think about Kane getting caught up in the crossfire. I couldn't bear for anything to happen to him, or Raze.

“Darlin’, we can’t sit back and wait for a war to come to us. But don’t worry, I swear I would kill every single one of ‘em before I let ‘em hurt you.” He kisses me and I feel like a fraud when I kiss him back. I’m so scared that all my sins are about to catch up with me and hurtle through this amazing thing I’m building with Raze.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” I smile at him before making my way to the door, my hands are shaking as I take the handle, because I still don’t know if the Reaper that they’re burying next week is the man I killed or my brother.

“You wanna play hold ‘em? Rocco’s gonna play too,” Sonny shouts across at me as I make my way to the clubhouse door. I know I made Kane a promise but I have to know he’s okay.

“Just give me five,” I call back at them, trying to smile as I race out the clubhouse and toward my car.

The doors are still unlocked and my hands fumble as I open up the glove compartment and take out the phone.

“Come on, come on, please,” I beg for it not to be dead. When I press the on button and the logo comes on the screen, I sigh in relief. I scroll past Dad’s number to Kane’s and hit call, looking in my rearview mirror in case anyone has followed me out here, while I wait for him to answer.

“Peyton.” He sounds pleased to hear from me, and I suddenly realize how long it’s been since I heard his voice. “Ya okay, ya hurt?”

“I’m fine.” I clutch the phone in my hand and sigh with relief.

“I told you to only use this phone–”

“I know, but I had to hear your voice,” I interrupt him.

“Where are ya?” he asks and I look at the big, yellow motel that has the club logo graffitied on the side of it, remembering the promise I made to our dad. No one can know I’m here, not even Kane. It’s safer for both of us that way.

He sees the Souls like the Reapers do. He thinks they are bad men and he would only try to come and get me.

“I’m safe. I’m far away. I just… I needed to know you were okay.” I’m so happy that he is, I could cry.

“I’m fine, how about you? You sure you're safe?” He sounds worried.

“I couldn’t be safer.” I rest my head back against the seat and think about how it feels to sleep in Raze’s arms. He makes me feel untouchable.

“That’s good, but you can’t come back here.”

“They found him, didn’t they?” I slam my hand over my mouth and try to hold back my tears.

“Who, Malice? No, he’s still missin’,” he tells me, I guess in case anyone else overhears him.

“I miss you.” I close my eyes and picture his face. It was always him I went to for comfort. He had no idea what Billy was doing to me for so long and I had no idea Billy did it to him too. We’ve been through far too much to be kept apart like this and it suddenly dawns on me that a day might come where I have to make a choice between Raze and my brother.

“I’m glad you're okay,” I tell him feeling the tears start to prick at my eyes

“Peyton, I have to go, I miss you too.” He sounds almost as sad as I am, but I don’t focus on that, I focus on the fact that he’s alive.

“I love you,” I tell him before he can hang up.

“I love you too.” He cuts the call and after turning off the phone to preserve its battery, I slide it back into the glove compartment.

I almost leap out of my skin when a hand slams over the roof of my car.

“Tryin’ to get away from me already?” Raze is smiling when I look up at him through the window.

“No, I was just looking for something I misplaced.” I get out the car and when he pins his hands either side of me and cages me between them I hate the fact I just had to lie to him.

“You look much happier than you did back in your office.” I smile.

“That’s because I had one of my great ideas.” He looks over toward his bike with a huge grin on his face.

“You want me to get on that?” I feel excitement and terror twist in my stomach.

“I promised you we’d do somethin’ fun today and that’s my idea of fun.”

“I don’t know. I’ve never–”

“Peyton, you're my old lady now, it’s kinda fundamental that you take the saddle.”

“You know I take the saddle.” I grip my hand around his jaw the way he always does mine and think about all the things he can do with his tongue.

“Well, today you're takin’ a different kinda one. I promise it’ll be just as thrillin’.” He drags me over to it and throws his leg over the seat, using those big strong arms of his to take the bars and hold it steady.

“I’m just–”

“You got nothin’ to be scared of with me, I’d never do anything to put you in any danger, that's why ya get one of these.” He lifts off the helmet that’s hanging off the bars of the bike beside his and places it on my head.

“None of the others wear them.” I try to recall ever seeing one of the members wear a helmet.

“What they do is up to them, but I kinda like you, so you're wearin’ the helmet. That's non-negotiable.”

“And you promise you’ll take it steady?” I make sure before I agree to this.

“You know I will.” Raze takes my hand and slowly guides me on behind him.

“Now, you hold me here.” He takes both my hands and slides them around the trunk of his body, making sure they grip at the lapels of his cut. “You hold tight. And scream if you wanna go faster.” He smiles cockily over his shoulder before kicking his engine to life and sending a vibration right through my core. I grip for dear life and feel my pulse kick up as Sonny runs out from the other side of the arch to open the gates for us, and Raze takes off.