Raze (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #1)

Chapter 19

“You're paying far too much attention to that girl,” Stacey tells me when we leave the clubhouse and head for my motel room.

“You mean my sister?” I shake my head and follow her through the door.

“Potential sister, she hasn’t had a DNA test done yet. You haven’t even told your dad that she exists.” Stacey throws her arms in the air in frustration.

“Dad ain’t in a good place, and this would only set him back.”

“What happened with that boy wasn’t your dad’s fault. He needs to get over it.” She rolls her eyes and strips outta the dress she’s wearing so she can throw on one of my shirts.

“Men like us don’t just get over what we have to do.” I stare at the floor feeling my anger start to build.

“Then explain to me why you continue to do it, baby.” She tilts her head sideways and pouts at me.

“And don’t give me that ‘I was born for it’ nonsense. I want to know the truth.” She stands between my legs and plays with my hair.

“This can’t be it for us, Raze. I need more. I want to get married, get a dog, maybe have some kids. I wan–”

“A condo.” I cut her off, knowing that she’s gonna bring it up again.

“Yes, Raze, I want all those things, but I want them all with you.” She drops to her knees and starts to unbuckle me, but I stand up before she can take me out.

“I promised I’d give Eden a ride back to her foster home.” I start making my way to the door.

“Seriously, can’t you get Aaron to do it? He follows her around like a love-sick puppy when she visits here anyway, plus he’s your bitch.”

“He ain’t my bitch, I’m his sponsor.” I shake my head at her, starting to get frustrated.

“Potato, potahto. He should be grateful, you’ve been putting hours of your time into him lately. Wait, I’ll rephrase that, hours of our time. I did not move out here to spend my time alone in this outdated, hovel of a room.”

The door knocks and interrupts her rant and when I open it and see Aaron and my sister on the other side, it’s obvious what’s happening between them.

“I thought I’d give Eden a ride back home, then maybe we could get back to that thing.” He raises his eyebrows at me trying to be discreet.

“It’s fine, I’ll take her, then we’ll deal with the thing,” I assure him.

“What thing are you talking about?” The girl who’s been hanging around here a few nights a week for the past month looks between us suspiciously.

“Nothin’, sweetheart, just?—”

“Don’t call her that.” I shake my head at Aaron, this girl may have only just strolled into my life but if there's a chance she is my sister, no member of this club, prospect or not, will be calling her his sweetheart.

“Come on, let’s get you home before you end up in trouble.” I leave Aaron on the balcony with a pissed-off-looking Stacey and lead the girl down to the parking lot where my truck is.

“It’s just left off Skybrooke Avenue.” She smiles awkwardly as she straps herself in.

“Nice area,” I point out. Up till now, I’ve been so preoccupied with life and what choices I’m gonna make, that I haven’t given the fact I could have a sister much thought.

“They’re nice people.” She smiles brightly. “Anna works at the school and her husband, Jerry, is a realtor. What they do for people like me is good. It’s a shame they couldn’t have kids of their own.”

“If they’re so good then why the hell did you come to the club lookin’’ for Vex?” I have to ask her, from what I’ve heard she has a good life, she’s top of her class and real talented at drawing.

“Because I want to know where I came from. When I had Mom it wasn’t so bad, but now that she’s gone I want to know him. I want to know you too.” She shrugs, a little awkwardly.

“Yeah, well, I don’t know the first thing about being a big brother,” I warn her.

“I don’t know about that, you seemed a lot like one when you spoke to Aaron just then. You know he’s always telling me how great you are, is it true that you once beat Keenan Keverlin in a fight?”

“You’re spendin’ far too much time with Aaron,” I tell her, this time in a much friendlier way.

“Why not? He’s cute and he’s thoughtful. He’s nothing like his daddy.” I can already see that she’s getting too familiar with the club and maybe I was wrong about the whole big brother thing because it sets off a protective instinct in me.

“Eden, you shouldn’t come to the club anymore, it’s dangerous.”

“But how would I see you, or Aaron? Not to mention the fact that you're still not telling me anything about our dad. Have you even told him about me yet?” She looks hurt as I pull up on her street.

“No, but I will. Now’s just not a good time.”

“And why?” She asks me the same question she did a few months ago when she first arrived at the club.

“Us Ashford men are a little different to Jerry the realtor.” I try explaining the best way I can.

“You think I don’t know that?” She raises an eyebrow at me.

“Our dad is being hard on himself right now. He feels like he caused something, and although it was unintentional, he has to learn to live with it.” I grip at the wheel and try to imagine how he must be feeling. It’s been over a year since he took himself up to that mountain in Colorado and he still ain’t answerin’ no one’s calls.

“I take it this thing was bad?”

“Yeah, it was.” I lower my head sadly.

“Well, when you do tell him about me, you make sure you say that I’d still like to get to know my father, no matter how bad it is.” She smiles before she opens the door and gets out.

“How ya gettin’ to school tomorrow?” I ask her, just because Dad’s messed up don’t mean I can’t step up and I’m warming up to the idea of having a little sister.

“Ask your prospect.” She winks at me before practically skipping up the path to her perfect, white picket fence home.

I meet Aaron at a warehouse in the old docking yard, and he smiles at me darkly before pulling open the hatch.

“What’s this I hear ‘bout you pickin’ my sister up for school, tomorrow?” I question him as he climbs down the ladder into the basement.

“Just checkin’ she gets there okay.” He shrugs, dusting off his hands when he gets to the bottom.

“Yeah, well, I’ll remind you of a little rule the club has about fuckin’ with another member’s female relative.” I flick on the light, and when the bastard, we’ve got chained up in the corner, starts to blink and adjust to it Aaron crouches in front of him.

“You ready to talk today, Mr. Franklin?” he asks, as he picks up the baseball bat and gets ready to beat him with it again, but I take it outta his hands. Tonight Aaron is gonna take his training up a notch.

“We’ve had him for five days.” I shake my head. “He’s not gonna talk. He’s far too scared to admit what he did to that little girl because he knows how repulsive it is, even to men like us.” I stare the bastard right in his eyes and watch the fear spread through ‘em.

“How many have there been like her, Peter?” I take out my knife and test out it’s point with the tip of my finger.

“You know, Mr. Monkhouse works very closely with our club. He’s helped us out of a lot of scrapes and when you deal with loyal men, what's important to them, becomes important to you too.” I slip the blade under his chin and use it to raise his head back up when he drops it.

“Aaron here is gonna remove every single thing that you touched her with.” I look over my shoulder at him and watch him nod his head eagerly.

“He’s gonna do it slowly and when he’s finished we’re both gonna stay here and watch ya bleed out,” I inform him, handing my knife over to my protégé and resting my shoulder against the wall while he gets to work.

Thick blood stains Aaron's hands when he’s finally finished slicing Peter Franklin’s lips off his face. He drops them onto the floor along with all ten of his fingers, and the flaccid dick he’s removed, and we both stand back and look at the swollen, bloody mess that’s left of his body.

“How long do ya think it’ll take?” Aaron asks, lighting himself a smoke and seeming unaffected by what he just did. I’ve never trained anyone before. Aaron was all set to go to Vex and learn how to be an enforcer, but since what’s happened I’ve had to step up. I gotta admit, I’m impressed by what I’ve seen from him, but that's not a surprise. Aaron ain’t ever let me down.

“Less than an hour, he’s already pale,” I point out.

“You wanna talk about your dad while we wait?” he asks, knowing that having Eden show up will have stirred everything up again.

“No, I wanna talk about yours.”

“Mine?” Aaron laughs, but he don’t look his usual charming self with blood speckled on his cheeks and clumping up his long hair. Aaron Adams is gonna make the perfect enforcer.

“He asked me to take charge of that run back from Mexico,” I admit knowing Aaron ain’t gonna like it.

“No, ya can’t do that, it’s too risky.”

“With risk comes reward, the suppliers are offerin’ the club 50k and another 50 to whoever makes the run. I can’t turn that money down.”

“Raze, if you do that and you get caught, you’ll do time.”

“I’ve done time before, it ain’t nothin’ I can’t deal with, and 50k would make a decent deposit on a condo,” I point out.

“A condo you don’t fuckin’ want!” he yells, dropping the knife from his hand and starting to pace. “You may not like my dad, or how he operates, but you like who you are, Raze. You like being a Soul. I built that hut with you, I know how excited you were to show her it, but you still haven’t because you don’t feel like it’s enough. She’s changin’ ya, tryin’ to make you into someone you ain’t.”

“And what if that’s for the best? What if me being that person is what saves me from being like my old man?”

“Raze, listen to yourself, you love Vex. He’s one of the most respected members of this club and I know for a fact that you're proud to be his son. What happened to that family was not his fault.”

“He trains fuckin’ psychopaths, Aaron. Men like me and you, who get off on this shit. And now that’s exactly what I’m doin’ with you.” I shake my head when it all becomes clear.

“No, don’t you dare fuckin’ do that. The first rule you taught me when all this started was that no one innocent gets hurt. D’ya think I feel bad for choppin’ this mother fucker’s dick off?” Aaron laughs and picks up the knife from the floor again. “He raped Paul Monkhouse’s daughter. She’s three years younger than me and I’m pretty sure the last time I saw her she was carryin’ a fuckin’ doll.” Anger gets the better of him and he puts the sick cunt out of his misery early, when he slices my blade across his throat.

“Your father made the fuckin’ rule book for this shit, and yeah, a lotta men have died but none who didn’t deserve it.

That kid who killed his family would’ve been taught that too, just the same as you were, same as Vex taught Brax fuckin’ Marshall and that kid from Colorado who Jimmer treats like a son. He knew right from wrong and he chose wrong. Just because he learned the skill to do it from your father don’t mean that it was your father’s fault.”

“Ya done?” I wait until his little speech is over before I manage a smile for him. I appreciate what he’s saying and maybe there's some truth in it, but it don’t change the fact that Stacey deserves better than what I can offer her.

It’s late when I get back to the club and even later when I finish talking with Cliff. I head up to the motel room I share with Stacey and find her fast asleep.

I like the idea of a future with a dog that chases a ball, and kids that I teach to swim in the ocean. None of that would ever be possible here, not the way Cliff runs things.

“You okay, baby?” She stirs after I come outta the shower, and as I slide under the covers beside her and tuck her in my arms I whisper the words I know she wants to hear.

“Let’s do it.”

“What?” She pulls back and spins her head.

“Let’s get the condo. I’m leavin’ on a job tomorrow mornin’. It’s gonna pay well enough for that deposit.”

“Oh my God, Raze.” She kisses me firmly and snuggles herself into my chest, squeezing her arms tight around my body, and as I drift off to sleep I allow myself to think about the man I might become.

I’m mad at myself. I’m mad at myself for lying to Peyton, and I’m mad at myself for letting that bitch into my head at a time when I’m feeling so happy. Then, when I see Wrath heading toward me, I’m suddenly angry at him too. He promised me before I left on that run to Mexico that he’d watch out for Eden and I believed him.

“You okay, Prez?” he asks.

“Got shit on my mind,” I growl back harshly.

“Don’t say the honeymoon period’s over already.” He laughs, making me want to smash him in his pretty-boy fuckin’ face.

“This ain’t got anythin’ to do with her,” I tell him, Peyton has been the only thing up to now that's made coming back here worth it, and that don’t look as if it’s changing anytime soon. The club ain’t pulling together the way I hoped they would and I have to admit that’s mainly my fault. I still don’t know who I can trust.

“Look, I know you don’t like to talk about it, but I was thinkin’ of gettin’ Jessie’s old lady to try and get some leads on findin’ Eden,” he tells me.

“Really, this shit again?” I shake my head and storm on past him. This is the last thing I fuckin’ need in the mood I’m in.

“Yeah, Raze, this fuckin’ shit.” He chases after me.

“You call me back here, you ask me to be your second and then you treat me like I’m one of the brothers you don’t know if ya can trust. We have a real chance of findin’ her. A chance to bring her back here where she belongs.”

“Here?” I laugh at him. “Eden doesn’t belong here, Aaron, she never did and she should never have come here. If she hadn’t, you would never have…” I stop myself before this goes too far.

“Say it,” he dares me, getting up in my face and reminding me that he’s a man now, not an eighteen-year-old boy.

“I can’t fuckin’ say it, Wrath,” I hiss through my teeth.

“Wherever my sister is, I know it’s better for her than here. Now, why don’t ya put all your efforts into findin’ your own sister.” I go to walk away but he pulls me back raising his fist back like he’s gonna throw it at me and when Ruckus and Sasquatch come running toward us, it ain’t me they have to pull back.

“We got a club meetin’ at 1 pm, make sure everyone’s in attendance. VP.” I dust off the Long Beach badge he has sewn on his cut and make my way up the stairs into the clubhouse.