Recklessly Rogue (Royals Gone Rogue #4)

1. Henry

Chapter 1

Henry

“ D o you take him as your husband?”

I’m standing in front of the king with the gorgeous, feisty, stubborn-as-hell brunette I am madly in love with.

And she is avoiding even looking at me, not to mention speaking to me.

“Ruby,” I say softly for her ears only.

She presses her lips together, but she doesn’t look at me.

I move closer to her, the sleeve of my suit jacket brushing her bare arm. “Dammit, Ruby.”

“Not. Now.” The words are soft but still firm. And she’s still not looking at me.

“I do,” Ruby’s sister, Scarlett, replies to the king.

King Diarmuid looks at my best friend and smiles. “Cian, do you promise to love Scarlett with all your heart?”

The prince looks at Scarlett with a smile full of love. “I promise.”

“Ruby, we need to talk,” I say softly.

I knew she and her sister were on their way to the palace. Ruby was the one who had called and told me Scarlett needed to get to Cian immediately. I arranged the private plane, for God’s sake. Did Ruby really think she was going to avoid me once they got here? She’s smarter than that.

Finally, the green eyes of the woman I cannot get over no matter how hard I try—and I have absolutely tried—meet mine. They are flashing with a mix of emotions.

“Stop it,” she mouths.

“I’m not going to stop it,” I whisper.

She frowns then turns her attention back to the wedding happening ten feet in front of us.

The king makes the rest of the ceremony short and sweet. He has full authority to join couples in marriage in this country and while some prior weddings have been longer and more sentimental, they don’t need to be.

“Then I officially declare you husband and wife,” the king proclaims. He raises his hand. “Go forth with my blessing.”

And that’s it. Scarlett and Cian are married.

And Ruby’s and my lives are bound together for as long as we both shall live.

We are equally dedicated to these two people and will be running into each other for the rest of their lives. At least for the rest of their marriage. But theirs is a true love match. There is no reason to think that we don’t have a good sixty years ahead of us to fight this frustrating, amazing chemistry between us.

Unless we stop fighting.

Cian finally releases Scarlett from their kiss, and they turn to beam at the room full of people. It’s family and close friends only, but the room is still plenty full. Ruby steps forward and pulls her sister into a hug.

They are identical twins and closer than any two women I’ve ever met. I don’t even have to ask to know that Ruby is feeling the same mix of emotions that I am.

Cian steps toward me and I also pull him into a hug, thunking him on the back three times. “Well done,” I tell him, meaning it.

I might have been focused on Ruby through the ceremony, but I’m truly so damned happy for my friend. I’ve always wanted him fully cared for and Scarlett makes his heart full and whole in a way no one else ever could.

Scarlett Gale is the best decision my best friend has ever made.

And I’m forever grateful to her for choosing him as well.

She has my loyalty and friendship for the rest of her life for how happy she makes Cian.

He pulls back and gives me a huge grin. “Thank you for helping get her here.”

I tip my head slightly. “You know I will always be there for her just like I am for you.”

They’re a package deal now. I’m more than Cian’s best friend. I am his bodyguard. His right-hand man truly. And have been for the past twelve years. He was really only a job for about two months before I realized I’d found the best friend I was ever going to have.

We’ve grown up together in so many ways. He was seventeen and I was twenty when we met, but we were both lost, needing purpose, wanting to experience life, and the world differently than we had in the past. We did that together. We’ve traveled, studied, made mistakes, had adventures, and had a hell of a good time.

I’m so happy that Scarlett is in his life now. She’s so good for him. I couldn’t have chosen a better partner for him.

But him finding her, truly falling in love, deciding to spend his life with her, has left me feeling strangely restless. We are entering an entirely new chapter. For over a decade I’ve been the closest person to Cian O’Grady. I’ve been his first phone call, the one he asks for advice and for help. I’ve been the most important person to him.

That’s changed.

His happiness has always been my second priority, only behind his safety and health. Yes, there have been occasions where I’ve had to choose safe and angry off over happy but in danger. But I am no longer the only person in charge of keeping him happy. Scarlett is his number one now.

That’s going to take some adjusting to.

I glance over at Ruby. I know she’s feeling the same.

She has been that person for Scarlett their entire lives. More than just keeping Scarlett company or being the one she asks for advice or shares secrets with, Ruby helped Scarlett navigate a very toxic relationship with their biological father, and raise Scarlett’s daughter, Mariah.

They are incredibly tight. She has to be feeling happiness and love for Cian for making Scarlett so happy, along with a strange sense of loss and restlessness at this change in her life and role.

We’re quickly surrounded by more friends and family, and I let Cian and Scarlett get swept into the crowd. But my eyes are on the beautiful brunette in jade green, not the one in white.

And ten minutes later, when Ruby tries to slip away, I follow her.

They’ve been here for three days. She’s been avoiding me for three days. With the chaos of the entire O’Grady family here for the first time in years, the eldest brother Declan spontaneously marrying family friend Astrid Olsen, and wedding plans for Cian and Scarlett, along with her and Scarlett’s mother flying in, it’s been easy for Ruby to come up with excuse after excuse not to see me despite my many texts.

Until now.

I slip through the heavy door before it closes behind her and she’s only taken three steps down the main hallway when I wrap my arm around her waist, my other hand covering her mouth. I lift her off her feet, taking us down the short hallway to our left.

I put my mouth to her ear. “We need to talk, Gem.” I don’t mean to use the nickname. It just slips out.

She doesn’t fight me. She doesn’t even squirm. She sighs heavily, not seeming surprised that it’s me. Or that I’m man-handling her.

I have to uncover her mouth to open the door at the end of the short hallway but she doesn’t say a word as I stride inside, kick the door shut, and turn the lock before setting her down.

“Is this the dungeon?” she finally asks once her feet touch the floor.

“Don’t be ridiculous. The dungeon is two stories down.” I flip the switch next to the door and sconces around the room come on, illuminating the cozy space with a soft, golden glow.

She looks around. The room is an inner, somewhat secret private space. There are no windows and while everyone in the palace is aware of the room, no one actually uses it.

“I would have expected the library to be bigger,” she muses, taking in the floor to ceiling bookshelves along three of the walls, the overstuffed armchair and ottoman, the oak side table holding a lamp with a stained-glass lampshade, and the small writing desk just to our left.

“The palace library is much larger,” I tell her. “This was the private sitting room of the king’s friend and advisor, Oisin O’Connor. He’s moved to the United States now, so this room doesn’t get much use. But it still stores his private book collection.”

She paces a few steps away, runs her fingers over a few book spines, then turns to face me. She crosses her arms. “Okay, so I am locked in a room that no one comes to. I guess you’re finally going to get your way and we’re going to talk.”

“I always get my way.” I tuck my hands into the pockets of my trousers. “And we were always going to talk. Things aren’t over between us.”

Emotions, including sadness, pass over her face. Then she says, “Things are over, Henry. They’ve been over.”

“I love you,” I say simply.

She sucks in a long breath. It’s not surprise. It’s frustration. I’ve told her this and she doesn’t want to hear it. Not when we were both in Ohio, not over the phone, not in texts, and, apparently, not here.

“We can be together now,” I say. “The things keeping us apart are not an issue now. Cian and Scarlett intend to go back to Emerald.” Scarlett doesn’t love her tiny hometown, but they’ve only been there for about a year and a half. Her daughter is a sophomore in high school, and Scarlett doesn’t want to make Mariah move and leave her friends again. They’ll stay at least until Mariah graduates. Wherever Scarlett is, Ruby will be. And wherever Scarlett is, Cian will be. And wherever Cian is, I will be. It’s all working out.

But Ruby shakes her head. “It’s not that easy.”

I frown. “Of course it is. I had to leave you before. I had to come and go. You said we couldn’t make a relationship work when I had to be somewhere else and could only steal time with you. That’s not the case now.”

“But…Cian is still your first priority.”

“He’s my…job.” I hesitate over that last word because my job is so much more than that. And Ruby knows that.

She gives me a small smile. “Henry, come on. We have to be honest about what’s going on. You love me. I believe you. But you love the O’Grady family more.”

My chest tightens. I shake my head. “Not more. Differently.”

“But they come first. Cian comes first, and now…” She smiles and sighs softly. “My sister and niece, too, right?”

Yes, but…

“Right?” she presses. “Now that Scarlett and Mariah are princesses, they are a priority to you.”

“Yes.” I won’t lie to her.

“And I love that.” She shakes her head with a little laugh. “God, that’s even more than I ever hoped for. All these years taking care of them, worrying about them, being there for them, I wished for people just like you guys. People who would see them, respect them, support them, lift them up, protect them.” She has to stop and swallow. “You and Cian have given them safety and support but even more, you’ve given them a family, a community, a place to belong unlike either of them have ever had. I love that for them. But—” She holds up her hand when I open my mouth to respond. “That also bumps me even further down your list of people you can love and things you can take care of.”

“Ruby, fuck, that’s so unfair.” I shove my hand through my hair. None of that is wrong , exactly, but it’s not that simple, either. This is the first time I’ve fallen in love with a woman, and I want her in every way.

“Yeah, it is unfair,” she agrees. “I don’t want to take you away from Cian or my sister or niece. But it’s unfair that it means we can’t be together.”

I take a step closer to her. “But we can .”

“No. I mean… yes, I know it seems that way. Obviously, we can be in the same place at the same time now. We can spend time together. You won’t be leaving like you have in the past. But...” She shakes her head. “Henry, I have big feelings for you, too, but I deserve more than this.”

I scowl. “More than what? More than a man who can not get over you? More than a man who thinks about you constantly, a man who wants to make you happy and take care of you?”

She hugs her arms against her stomach, presses her lips together, and then, slowly, painfully, nods. “Yes. I deserve to be someone’s number one.”

I stare at her.

She watches me.

Several long moments tick by.

Then she says, “I can’t be your number one, can I, Henry? If it comes down to me or Cian, it will have to be Cian.”

I don’t want to answer that question.

Because my answer will mean I lose her.