Recklessly Rogue (Royals Gone Rogue #4)

2. Ruby

Chapter 2

Ruby

I already know the answer to the question. And I don’t really want to hear him say it out loud. But I’m still going to make him say it.

Because he needs to say it.

I don’t blame him. I’m not angry. I know what his job means to him. I admire it, actually. And I understand that it’s one of the things we have in common.

I have been in a similar situation with my sister for the past thirty-six years. Scarlett has always been my number one focus. I’ve always dropped everything when she’s called. I’ve lost sleep, friends, and money because of my sister. I’ve failed tests and relationships because of my sister. I’ve turned down or put off opportunities of my own for her.

And I’d do it all again. And again.

I understand Henry.

I love Henry.

But I’m thirty-six years old, and I’ve lived a life that has been anything but glamorous and privileged. I know this thing with us isn’t going to work when his attention, energy, and heart are already spoken for.

He’s amazing.

But I deserve more.

“Henry,” I say, stepping toward him. “If it comes down to me or Cian, it will have to be Cian. Right?”

He’s staring at me, his jaw clenched, his blue eyes dark. But, while Henry Dean is one of the most stubborn men I know, used to getting his way and bossing people—even a prince or two—around, he’s honest.

“Right,” he finally says. “It will have to be Cian.”

“And now Scarlett and Mariah.” This part is actually really important to me. It makes it all worth it. I can live without Henry—sadly and with a crack in my heart, sure, but alive—if I know he’s there for my sister and niece.

“Yes. And now Scarlett and Mariah,” he says, his voice sounding like sandpaper.

They deserve that. Him. All of this.

My god, my sister is now an honest-to-God princess . Cara is a tiny country that very few people have heard of or could find on a map. If they don’t follow women’s gymnastics or men’s ice hockey, or celebrity royal gossip, they probably haven’t heard of it at all. Cara’s got a royal family that’s been living in secret in the US for about a decade. They’ve also got an almost Olympic gold medalist and a rising hockey star who are now both living in the US. Brother and sister Alex and Astrid Olsen have helped raise their country’s profile for sure. But Cara is still somewhat inconsequential in the overall global picture.

Still, my sister now has a family, security—physical, financial, emotional—and influence. She’s going to get to have her dream job, running a foundation that will help single moms. And she’s found true freaking love. Prince Cian O’Grady loves my sister with everything he’s got. It’s big romantic movie love.

I tear up every time I think about all of this.

My sister deserves all of this. And my niece is set. She can go to college anywhere she wants, study anything she wants, travel the world, live anywhere, do all the amazing things she’s dreamed of. Mariah will change the world with the O’Grady family behind her.

I’m so damned lucky to have a front-row seat for that.

So yes, I’m very happy that Henry will be there to take care of them, look after them, help them access everything they now have at their fingertips, and navigate this new world they are a part of.

It’s going to make leaving them all so much easier.

“I’m glad,” I finally say out loud to Henry. “I’m glad you’re going to be there for them. I’m not angry. I’m not upset. I just…” I take a breath and meet his gaze. “You and I have to find a way to run into each other from time to time, to be friendly, but nothing more.”

“No.”

I roll my eyes. He’s so fucking stubborn. He’s four years younger than me, but he acts like he’s my superior. It’s annoying.

Unless we’re in a bedroom.

We are not in a bedroom right now.

Yes, he’s had a lot of life experience, but it’s all been luxurious and extravagant. He’s seen more of the world than I have. Eaten more exotic foods than I have. Experienced a wider variety of cultures than I have.

But I’ve been in the nitty-gritty of life. I’ve worked almost exclusively in bars and restaurants. I’ve put myself through college. I’ve lived paycheck to paycheck for most of my adult life. I’ve lived in shit-hole apartments, gone without…well, almost everything at one time or another…helped my sister navigate a pregnancy, the healthcare system, the childcare system, and the workplace all as a single mom.

And I’ve met people just like me and Scarlett all along the way.

Henry has dined and partied with royalty, politicians, and celebrities.

I know real people. Average people. Hardworking, just-trying-to-make-it people.

There are a lot more of the kind of people I know in the world than the kind of people Henry knows.

So his snooty, bossy, I-know-better attitude doesn’t even make me blink. He’s more sophisticated and can be demanding and a little intimidating, but he’s also full of hot air.

There are definitely things he knows far less well than I do, and when I find one of those things, it delights me.

Right now, I think I happen to be one of those things.

Our chemistry is off the charts. I can’t hide the fact that I react to him physically and, yes, as hard as I tried to hide it, that I’m in love with him. I wish he didn’t know that. I wish I didn’t know that. I wish it wasn’t true. It would make all of this easier.

Because it’s not just the in-love thing. It’s that Henry and I are the same. We love big and hard. Once we love someone, we’ll do anything for them.

So, it’s incredibly hard to convince him that I can be in love with him and not want to be with him.

But he doesn’t know that I have plans. Plans that don’t involve Scarlett and Mariah. Or him.

He can’t even imagine doing something that doesn’t involve Cian, so I know it hasn’t occurred to him that I might be thinking of myself for a change.

“Then I’ll have to just ignore you for the rest of my life,” I tell him.

“No.”

“Henry,” I say firmly. “We are not going to date. Or sleep together. Or spend fun, family time together as if we’re old friends.”

“No, we’re not going to do that last one. We are going to date and sleep together.” He steps forward. “There’s no reason we can’t make this work. Yes, Cian is my responsibility. Yes, there are going to be times when I have to put him first. But that will be so much less now. It will mean going for a run with him or having lunch with him. It’s Emerald, Ohio. He’s going to be settled. Happy. He won’t be jetting around the world. He won’t be doing stupid things like deep-sea diving.” He pauses. “Okay, he might still deep-sea dive. But he won’t be…picking fights with men bigger than him in bars in Heppenheim.”

I lift a brow.

“Germany,” he fills in.

“But he will be traveling the country. He and Scarlett are going to be traveling for the Foundation.”

“Sure. But those will be quick trips. A day or two. We’ll be like any couple who has one partner who travels for work,” he insists. He moves in until he’s right in front of me. He lifts a hand to cup my cheek. “I’ll be coming home. To you.”

But see…that’s the thing.

He won’t.

I sigh and step back, away from his touch.

“The fact remains,” I tell him. “I want to be the main character in my story.”

He frowns.

“I want to be the number one thing in the life of my partner. Like Scarlett is in Cian’s life.”

That’s kind of a low blow. Henry and Cian are more than friends. They’re like brothers. And I know that this change in Cian’s life—falling in love, getting married, giving Scarlett his time, attention, and energy—affects his bond with Henry. I know because it’s affecting my bond with Scarlett.

But it’s a good thing. Mostly. I think my jealousy is normal. I’m going to miss a lot of things about not being Scarlett’s number one anymore. Yes, Mariah has been her main priority for the last fifteen years, but Mariah has been mine as well. She’s really kind-of our daughter. There was nothing Scarlett did for her that I didn’t do except actually carry her and give birth. Their natural mother-daughter bond is real, but Mariah and I are very, very close.

So yes, at times, I’m jealous that Scarlett is telling Cian her secrets, sharing her worries with him, spending most of her free time with him.

But mostly, I’m thrilled. Because I love her so damned much, and he is everything she deserves.

I know Henry feels all of this on the other side.

That doesn’t mean I won’t point it all out and make him face it to make my point, though.

“I want what Scarlett and Cian have. I want a guy who is willing to give everything up for me.”

“Ruby,” Henry says, his expression and tone of voice both pained.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I tell him honestly. “I don’t want us to hurt each other. That’s why we need to agree to just avoid each other except when we absolutely can’t. Obviously, there will be times when we have to see each other. But we need to be able to do that as adults. Adults who like and respect one another but who don’t want to hurt each other.”

He drags in a long breath but doesn’t say anything.

“I’m going to be moving out of the house and getting an apartment so that?—”

“No.”

Here we go with the ‘no’s again. “Yes,” I say simply. “I’m not going to live in the house with my sister and her new husband. And you.” I tip my head. “I assume you’ll live there with them?” Have they thought this out?

He hesitates. Then says, “Perhaps. Or we’ll buy the house next door or across the street for me.”

I laugh before I can swallow it. “People already live in those houses. They’re not for sale.”

“Everything is for sale if you find the right price.”

See, this is what I mean. There are no actual barriers in Henry Dean’s life. To anything.

Or so he thinks.

“Okay, whatever.” This is not my problem. “I’m not going to be living there with them.”

“They can buy a new house.” He’s frowning, but it’s not really at me now. “You don’t have to move out.”

“I’m one person. There’s three…” I lift a brow. “Maybe four of you. I don’t need as much space. Plus, Mariah is settled there. It’s not far from school or from Greta’s house.” Greta is Mariah’s best friend and rock. “It’s way easier for me to move.”

Plus, my apartment won’t be in Emerald…

“You’re not moving. Brian gave you that house.”

Brian was our stepdad but really the only father figure Scarlett and I had. We adored him. He died about two years ago and left Scarlett his auto shop and me his house. Both fully paid for with an additional trust to help keep things going for a while. Those two things were the main reason Scarlett had wanted to go back to Emerald after being gone for fifteen years, to see if anything had changed and if she could make some amends.

Nothing has really changed. Well, my sister has. She is more confident, knows who she is and what she wants, and she’s happier.

I’m so proud of her. And I’m so excited about her next chapter.

And mine.

“Brian would not care if I gave the house to Scarlett,” I tell Henry. “Trust me.”

“I don’t want you somewhere across town where I—” He abruptly bites off the rest of what he intended to say.

But I know what it is: Where I can’t keep an eye on you.

He’s protective. Overly protective.

Well, he doesn’t need to worry about me being across town.

“This is the best solution. Scarlett and Cian can have the house. You and I are going to agree to be friends. And you’re going to take excellent care of my sister and niece forever.”

“I—”

“Promise that you’re going to take excellent care of my sister and niece, Henry,” I interrupt. “Promise me that they are as important to you and the O’Gradys as Cian is and that you’ll do anything for them.”

He frowns. Then nods. “Yes. I promise.”

“Then everything is good.”

“Except you and me.”

“No. We’re totally good. We’re both doing exactly what we want to do.”

“If I don’t have you, I’m not doing what I want to do.”

Both of my brows arch. “I know you’re a spoiled, bossy rich boy, but even you know that sometimes you have to make choices. And you did.”

His frown deepens. “And you’re not upset at all?”

I shrug. “I’m human. Of course, I wish I could have it all. But this is how it has to be.”

“No!” He steps forward again. “Dammit, Ruby, we can have it all. My job—okay, my brother—does come first sometimes, and I do promise to take care of your sister and niece, but we can be together.”

I know I will never meet another man like Henry. I’ve met a lot of men. Even tried relationships with a few of them. None of them ever understood my relationship with Scarlett, not to mention it being one of the things they admired and loved about me. Not until Henry.

Some of them were jealous and quick to throw a punch at anyone who looked at me too long, but none of them were protective like Henry. He doesn’t just want to keep me away from other men, he wants me safe in all ways. Physically but also emotionally. He wants me to feel good and strong and confident and fulfilled.

That’s why I think, deep down, after he’s thought about it for a while, he’s going to understand and actually like what I’m about to tell him.

“We can’t be together in Emerald,” I say. “Because I’m moving back to New Orleans.”