Recklessly Rogue (Royals Gone Rogue #4)

3. Ruby

Chapter 3

Ruby

H enry’s brows slam together, and he takes a quick breath. Then he puts his palm against the base of my throat and walks me backward until my shoulder blades meet the bookcase. Then he stares down at me, his hand heavy against my collarbones, possessive and commanding. This hold never fails to make me a puddle of lust. A submissive puddle of lust.

I know exactly what he’s doing.

And it’s working.

Be strong. Good lord. You have plans. Good plans. Plans that are more important than what this man can do to your pussy.

Probably.

See? When Henry’s close to me, even my very determined inner voice gets a little mixed up. It’s a problem, for sure.

“What did you say?” he asks quietly.

I swallow, my throat moving against his hand. “I’m going back to New Orleans. As soon as Cian and Scarlett get back to Emerald.”

His blue gaze is sharp and angry. “No.”

I nod, the movement restricted by his hold. “Yes. I start school in August. I want to get there, get settled, find a part-time job. Just…be there before I start the program.”

That furrow between his brows deepens. “School?”

“Law school.”

Just saying those words out loud to someone else gives me a thrill. I haven’t told anyone. Not even Scarlett knows. I couldn’t tell her. It was too much. There were too many things up in the air. Until about three weeks ago, I didn’t think I was going to be able to go at all and yes, it was in large part because of her. I wasn’t going to leave her in Emerald all alone. So I hadn’t told her. There was no need.

Henry studies me, his gaze bouncing back and forth between my eyes. “You want to go to law school?”

“I’m going to law school,” I tell him.

His hand is hot against my throat, and tingles race down my body. His body heat seeps into me. He’s always so hot. Just hugging him warms me up almost instantly. Sure, some of it is the chemistry between us, but some of it is just that he’s a human furnace. He’s also hard. And big. And I love being pressed between him and firm surfaces. This is certainly not a first.

But it might be the last .

It would be better for my mental health if it were the last. I can’t stay on this emotional rollercoaster with him. I need to move on.

Being a thousand miles away from him will help.

Drowning myself in my dream finally coming true will also help.

I hope.

“Law school,” he repeats. “I didn’t know you wanted that.”

“I haven’t told anyone,” I say.

“You got in? It’s for sure?”

I nod. “I actually got in two years ago. Right before Brian died.”

He moves his hand from the front of my throat to the back of my neck. The slide of his slightly rough palm against my skin makes shivers dance through my body, and my nipples tighten. He continues just to hold me, close enough I can smell his cologne and feel the warmth of his breath against my cheek.

“But you didn’t go,” he says.

“I couldn’t. I had to go to Ohio with Scarlett. I called the program to tell them I was declining the spot, and they told me about deferment. They let me postpone starting for a year. Then, when we were still in Ohio, and it didn’t look like anything was going to change, I called them again and tried to withdraw. They said I was such a great candidate, they really wanted me, and would I like just to defer another year. I said yes. And then you and Cian showed up and…” I let out a breath. “Now Scarlett is okay. She’s safe and secure. She doesn’t need me like she did before. So I can go.” I can’t help the smile that curves my lips. “Finally.”

He's looking at me with what almost looks like wonder. “How did you…how did you get through college? I didn’t even know you did that. Does Scarlett know that?”

Henry and I talked about our relationships with Scarlett and Cian, talked about what it was like to help raise Mariah, talked about him helping raise Cian’s niece when his sister was a single mom, talked about the places we’ve both lived and the places he’s traveled to. I’ve filled him in on my childhood, my mom, my biological father, and my stepdad.

But there’s plenty we haven’t covered yet. His visits to Emerald were always stolen time from his job and weren’t long. And, if I’m honest, we spent a lot of our time together naked.

So, he doesn’t know about this part of my life. He thinks I’ve been a stripper and bartender all my adult life. Which is true. It’s just that I haven’t been only that.

“I took my college classes one by one, as I could afford them, over the past fifteen years,” I tell him. “I took most of them while we lived in New Orleans. I made the most money there.” Bartending and stripping in the French Quarter paid better than any of the bartending or waitressing jobs I’d had prior. “I took them from Loyola because they gave me scholarship help. And that’s where I got into law school.”

He nods slowly. “Wow.”

I smile.

“You’re so…amazing.” His thumb strokes up and down the side of my neck.

My panties get a little wetter, and I struggle to concentrate on our conversation. I wet my lips. “Thanks.”

“Why do you want to be a lawyer?”

That one’s easy. “So I can help people. I don’t like when people are taken advantage of by people more powerful than they are—big corporations, landlords, bosses, predatory lenders. I want to be more than a cheerleader or someone who can loan someone my car to go talk to legal aid.”

“You don’t have to go to New Orleans,” he says.

“I do.” I frown. “I’m in the Loyola program. They’ve been holding my spot.”

“Isn’t there a law school at Ohio State?”

Columbus is only twenty minutes from Emerald. I sigh. “Yes. But I haven’t applied or been accepted there.”

“So you should apply. If you can get in at Loyola, I’ll bet you can get in at Ohio State.”

That is not necessarily true, of course. But I know what that means coming from Henry. He’ll pull strings and get me in at Ohio State if that’s what I want.

I shake my head. “I’m going to Loyola.”

“That’s very far away from Scarlett and Mariah.”

“Yes. It is. Which is why I had to wait until you and Cian came along. I’m very grateful to be able to leave them in such good hands.”

“You should stay closer.”

I put my hands on his chest and push. He takes a step back. “I don’t want to stay closer.”

“It’s still law school. It’s still what you want.”

“I want Loyola.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to see what I can do on my own.” I blurt it out, but it’s the truth. I’ve thought it several times, I’ve just never said it. I take a breath. “Scarlett’s never been on her own without me, but I’ve never been without her either. I want to see how I do. It’s three years. It’s not like it has to be forever if I hate it.”

“You will hate it,” he says.

I frown. “Hey.”

“You will. You are one of the most big-hearted, community-oriented people I know.”

I like that. But I try not to let it sway me. Or give me doubts. I do like having a community of people I know and like and trust around me. And while I’ve built that in each place Scarlett and I have lived, my sister and her little girl are the common denominators in my community, the center of it for me.

“I can find that in New Orleans. I’ll have classmates, and I’ll have people at work. I still have friends there.” But it will be two years since I’ve been back or even talked to a few of them.

“Stay closer,” he says. “Let me take care of you, too.” His voice is still rough, but now it sounds more pleading than commanding.

“I want to take care of myself,” I tell him.

“You’ll be lonely.”

I nod. “Maybe. Probably. Sometimes at least. But being lonely isn’t bad.”

Now, he looks upset and confused. Probably upset to think that I might feel something negative. Henry isn’t good when “his” people, the people he’s decided he should take care of, whether or not he’s been hired to do that, aren’t happy and secure.

But I think he’s also confused because he truly doesn’t understand the statement “being lonely isn’t bad”. I sincerely doubt he’s been lonely for one minute since becoming a part of the O’Grady inner circle. Just from what I’ve found reading about them online, and listening to the gossip podcast out of Cara, and watching him with Cian, and now with the family over the last few days, the O’Gradys are only alone if they want to be. No one gets lonely .

“I don’t want you to go.”

“Noted.”

“But you’re still going to.”

“Yes.”

“So just when I am coming to Emerald to stay, you’re going to leave.”

I shake my head. This guy…

“I’m not leaving you , Henry. This isn’t about you. Like I said, all of this was in motion long before I even knew who you were. This has been my plan and dream for a long time and, though ironic, I can actually go pursue it now because you’re in Emerald.”

“I can…come to New Orleans to visit. You’ll come back to Emerald too, sometimes. We can?—”

I cut him off. “No.”

“You won’t even try long distance?”

My heart squeezes. I want to be in love. I’m pretty conventional that way. I want a solid, strong, happy relationship.

But Henry Dean isn’t a conventional guy. In a lot of very wonderful and interesting ways, sure, but still, definitely not conventional.

“Come with me,” I say, knowing it’s a huge risk. “Permanently. We can be together in New Orleans. But you have to be all in.”

Emotions flicker through his eyes.

“It’s not fair of you to ask me that,” he says, his voice tight.

“It’s a real solution,” I say.

“It’s not. And you know it. And you’re going to make me be the bad guy.”

“You could at least think about?—”

“Stop it.”

He looks legitimately upset.

I let that sink in. He won’t leave Cian. I can’t stay in Ohio. So…

“Then we need to just be friends,” I tell him firmly.

He stares at me for a long, long moment. I feel like I’m holding my breath.

Finally, he shakes his head. “I can’t do that.”

I deflate. He’s going to make this difficult. He’s going to keep trying to persuade me. And I don’t know if I have the strength to resist.

I need to get my ass to New Orleans ASAP.

“Henry, I?—”

“I’ll just ignore you, like you said. Pretend you don’t exist. Live my life as if we never met.”

My heart drops into my stomach. So he’s not going to try to persuade me. That’s…good. Very good. We’ll ignore each other. Treat each other like strangers.

That sounds awful.

But probably for the best.

“Okay.”

“And you’ll do the same,” he says.

It’s not a question.

I nod. “Yes. I’ll do the same. We’ll only spend time together when it’s required by our relationships with Scarlett and Cian and Mariah, and then we will talk only as much as is needed, and we won’t ask about one another, or contact each other, or…”

“Think about one another,” he says as I trail off.

Suddenly, I want to cry. I swallow hard against the lump in my throat and make myself nod. “Right.”

He looks at me for another long second. Then he says, “Right.” He goes to the door, opens it, then pauses. He doesn’t look back when he says, “If you need help finding a place to live in New Orleans, assistance moving, anything like that, let me know.”

“That’s very nice of you.”

“The sooner you’re away from Emerald, the better.”

Ouch.

I swallow hard. He’s right, though. And I’m sure he’ll hire people to help get me out of Emerald. He won’t do it himself.

“I agree,” I tell him.

“Take a right out of this room. You’ll find the main hallway. Take a left to get to the staircase to the upper levels.”

I was on my way to my bedroom when he carried me in here.

I definitely don’t feel like going back to the party now.

“Thanks,” I say softly.

Then he leaves me, shutting the door behind him.