26. Chapter 26
Chapter 26
Roxie
I’m humming Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star as I use the bathroom to avoid listening to the private conversation between the Huttons, but I catch a few words that send me reeling.
“ Tennison knew about our parents.”
Simple words if you don’t understand the context, but soul-crushing if you do. I hold my breath and listen, realizing the back wall of the bathroom backs up to the living room, so I can hear things more clearly in here.
This isn’t the first time I’m hearing this, but it is more detailed. All I can think is how much can one man really take?
I listen as he tells his family the despicable things Tennison did. I listen as he reflects on the worst time of his life. I listen as he talks about recognizing that his actions and depression were killing him.
As I hear more, my heart breaks completely for this man who never deserved any of this. A hiccupped sob leaves me, and I cover my mouth to avoid being heard.
This is the biggest violation of privacy, but there’s a part of me that thinks Lennox wanted my support. That’s why he didn’t want me out of the house. That part might be delusional, to think I hold any importance to him, but God, do I want to .
I want to be there on his good days and bad. When he needs a little extra support and on the days he shows the world just how determined he is.
He’s so fucking strong. He’s been through more than anyone ever knew, and yet here he is, standing up and telling the most important people to him that he won’t let it defeat him. He wants to fight , and I’ve never wanted to fight alongside someone more in my life.
I wipe my face off and gather my bearings before heading back to Ivy. Luckily, it’s almost bedtime for her, so I only have to keep my composure a little while longer.
Ivy goes down without a fuss, which shocks the shit out of me since Lennox wasn’t there to read her normal story. I’m thankful—my emotions couldn’t have handled a meltdown from her tonight.
As I’m walking back to my room, I peek out to the living room and find Lennox alone, standing at the back patio doors and staring out into the darkness. A sentinel standing over his realm. I don’t think he even understands how much progress he’s made and how close he really is to getting back into that national park. Especially mentally.
My next move feels monumental. A shift in both of our worlds that I’m not sure either of us is prepared for.
When I step beside him, his eyes shift to mine through the reflection of the glass. A shuddering breath escapes him, and the tears fill my eyes again. The pressure from holding back my emotions finally catches up to me.
I lean into his shoulder, putting my arm around him and holding on as tight as I can, pressing a kiss to the rounded muscle. He freezes for a split second before shifting to face me and wrapping his arms around my waist. My arms move around his neck naturally, my head resting on his chest, hearing the steady thump of his heartbeat.
“I’m so sorry you went through all of that,” I whisper through my tears.
His arms squeeze me a little tighter before his head presses against the side of mine. The scent of fresh laundry and pine invades my senses, instantly putting me at ease.
“You have nothing to apologize for. You’ve done more to pull me out of my depression than I ever thought was possible.” His voice is low and right by my ear, letting me feel his breath with every word. A shiver works its way down my body as I soak in his words.
“You don’t even see how strong you really are,” I say into his chest.
Silent laughter shakes him, drawing my head up to look at him. “I think we need to send you back to PT school for the definition of strength,” he jokes, but I see uncertainty in his eyes.
He doesn’t see it, but I do. I’ll work every day to show him how resilient he is.
“Nah, I think I can spot it when I see it,” I murmur.
We stare at each other, and I get the urge to lift up on my toes and kiss him.
But that’s crazy.
His eyes flick back and forth between mine, and I swear he leans forward a little. It’s enough to send the blood thrumming through my veins. To be thinking thoughts I really shouldn’t be about my very vulnerable client.
But I turn that voice off .
Pressing up on my toes, I brush a soft kiss to his lips. His very soft, supple lips. His arms tighten around me, gripping my hips like his life depends on it.
I pull back an inch, but he yanks me right back to him.
The kiss is nothing crazy.
It’s not sloppy or sexual.
But it’s life-altering.
Minutes or hours go by, who could tell, before I finally pull back and lower myself to the ground.
Lennox’s head tilts with curiosity, like he’s trying to figure out what happened. He traces his bottom lip with his tongue. Meanwhile, I’m freaking out about it.
I just kissed my fucking patient. And I don’t feel bad about it. In fact, I’d love to do it again.
No, bad Roxie. This is possibly the biggest fuck-up I’ve ever had.
“I should…” I point over my shoulder. “Just call it a night.” I spin around, reaching the hallway before turning back around abruptly. “If you need anything, please let me know.” I hope he hears the truth in my words. No matter the situation, he can always come to me for anything.
There’s a little smirk, the rare one I love seeing, before he nods. On his clean-shaven face, I see the hint of a dimple, and I need to leave ASAP. His eyes watch my every move, and my skin heats at his attention.
What the fuck is happening?
Finally, our eye contact is broken by the hallway wall as I slump against it. It feels like I’ve run a marathon, and my body is tingling. Pressing my fingertips to my lips, I think about what this means for the future. For my future, and Ivy’s .
By the time I make it to my bedroom, I’m more confused than ever, and I’m exhausted.
It’s one o’clock in the morning, and I’ve yet to fall asleep.
Who knew a kiss could wreak such havoc on a person. But it wasn’t just a kiss, was it? Nope, it was the perfect kiss. Emotions and longing poured out of me.
Now? I can’t stop thinking about the possibility of more with him. Which is ridiculous. He had one of the most emotionally vulnerable nights of his life, and I’m lying in bed thinking about a potential relationship.
I’m not sure how he feels about it all, but shoving everything back into the little box in my head isn’t going to work this time. Somehow, I have to wake up in a few hours and pretend that everything is normal. That Lennox is my patient while we do exercises and go for a walk, and not a man I’m interested in while steadily avoiding gawking at him and making him uncomfortable.
Oh God, what if he fires me?
What if everything that happened was one-sided, and I wake up tomorrow without a job? We’d have to move again. There isn’t enough work here for me.
He did pull you into the kiss, though .
My brain is spiraling, and I’m having a hard time slowing it down. Logic is nowhere to be found; in its place is an anxious and scared mess that wants to figure out a way to stay here a little longer. Even if that means hiding my attraction to Lennox.
Kicking off the blankets because I’m overheating, I toss and turn a couple of times before I give up on getting any real sleep. A snack might help, but I’m not holding my breath.
Walking down the hallway toward the kitchen, I notice through a barely-there crack in the door that Lennox’s bedroom light is on.
Don’t do it, Roxie. Do not fucking do it. Late night snuggle sessions need to be a thing of the past if you want to stay sane around this man.
I pad across the living room to the other side of the cabin, down the hallway that holds Lennox’s room. Creeping up to his door, I hold my breath as I stop and listen.
I tell myself I’m just checking on him.
I tell myself it’s what any physical therapist would do in this situation after the day he’s had.
Both are lies.
Heavy breathing hits my ears, and I worry about him hurting himself if he’s working out his emotions. That’s until I hear him panting intermittently. It’s not the pant of a hard workout; it’s the pant of … pleasure.
My cheeks flush, and I internally beg myself to walk away. Instead, I slowly move my head to look through the small crack.
What I see burns my body up with arousal.
Lennox, lying in his bed with his head tilted up to the ceiling, the sheet and his boxers pushed down below his sizable erection.
Holy shit. Lennox is jerking off, and I’m watching the whole thing. GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM !
There has to be something wrong with me. A normal reaction is to walk away. This is a private moment in the comfort of his own damn room, and instead I’m being a creeper watching his hand shuttle down his dick.
Can I blame the lengthy dry spell? Because I’m going to blame it. Any other reason, I would need to analyze too closely, and I’m not ready to do that.
A soft moan comes from Lennox, and it may be the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard from a man. His hips tilt a little, and I really wish I could see his whole body right now. I bet it’s glorious, the muscles flexing as he pushes into his fist.
Heat rushes through me, and I can feel how turned on I am thinking about it.
His moans get a little louder, but I can tell he’s keeping himself in check. What he’s not holding back is how hard he’s thrusting into his hand now.
My fists clench as I hold myself back from doing something stupid, like sticking my hand down my shorts, or worse, joining him.
And that’s when I hear something that changes everything for me.
Just as he starts to come, he moans my name.
I gasp in shock, covering my mouth with my hand to not tip him off. I may be in disbelief, but I damn well want to watch him finish. I’ve come this far, might as well see the full effect. It’s the most action I’ve gotten in far too long. If everything goes to hell after this, at least I’ll have this to replay.
He collapses back on his bed, panting and covering his eyes with his arm, looking so at ease right now. Such a contrast to how he was mere hours ago.
Slowly backing away, I hold my breath until I’m on the other side of the living room. Once I get to my room, I flop onto my bed and let my thoughts go wild.
Could there be something between us? Am I even in a place to offer him anything other than what I already do?
I don’t have any answers, but sleeping on things without making any rash decisions is the best option.
Tomorrow, I can figure out what the hell is going on with us. I can figure out what I really want and go from there.
Shuffling outside of my door draws my attention. Lennox, shadowed in the dim light of the hallway, waits for my decision. He can’t know I just saw him, can he? Does it even really matter?
I shouldn’t do this.
I’ve told myself a million times to distance myself from this pull to him.
It doesn’t stop me from opening the covers on his side of the bed.
It doesn’t stop me from curling into his side once he gets settled.
Let’s just hope I didn’t ruin everything.