Chapter 10
D olores was out back in an old swing that hung from a tall tree. Emilie took the swing next to her and for a few minutes they swung back and forth in silence .
“He didn’t mean it,” Emilie said after a moment. “He’s overprotective and a bit of a Neanderthal, but he didn’t mean it .”
“Darryl gets a pass because I sprung this on him—should’ve warned him there was someone in my life. But Nathaniel…he couldn’t even bother to protest. Miserable old git. Too proud to defend his feelings for me .”
“You don’t believe he’s using you, do you?” Emilie asked .
Dolores shook her head. “No! Everyone knows my Darryl went off to the military and then to work for the government. You don’t have to use the name MI6 for people to know that’s where he’s gone. Nate was Scotland Yard—anything he found out about Darryl after we met he could’ve found before. Knowing me doesn’t give him access to anything .”
“Why do you and Darryl have different surnames?” Emilie asked. “Did he change his name when he joined MI6 ?”
“No.” She smiled. “I gave him his sperm donor’s name. I figured the old bastard didn’t want to be his father, but he would still have a son that carried his name .”
“Do you know where he is ?”
“His father?” She nodded. “Of course. Lives in Sheffield with his wife. Has two girls, I believe .”
“Does Darryl know ?”
“Of course. No secrets between my boy and me—not big ones, anyway .”
“I think your boyfriend was a pretty big one,” Emilie pointed out .
Dolores shrugged. “I should say, my boy and I never kept secrets until five years ago. He was betrayed by someone in MI6 and he walked away from his job, his country and his mum without a backward glance. Darryl Carruthers went to America and turned into his spy alter ego, Chains…a darker, harder, much more pessimistic version of Darryl .”
“Oh.” Emilie wasn’t sure what else to say .
There were steps in the grass and they looked up to see Chains and Nate approaching sheepishly. Nate walked right up to Dolores and halted the swing with his hands, looking down into her face .
“Sorry,” he murmured softly. “You know how I feel about you. I was a bit flustered at the turn the conversation took. I thought by just putting it out there, no fuss or pussyfooting around, it would save us a bit of aggravation. I was wrong. Forgive me ?”
She rolled her eyes and shoved at his chest. “Three bloody years I’ve been puttin’ up with you and you think I won’t be forgivin’ you? Bugger off .”
He laughed, bending to press his lips to hers. “I’m not perfect, but I do love you, darling .”
“You’d better .”
“Mum.” Chains looked genuinely contrite but before he could say anything else Dolores rose to her feet and put a finger in his chest .
“You’re my only child—my heart and my joy and my life—but you’ve had a different set of priorities since you left the government, and you can’t expect me to sit around pining away for a grown child who lives halfway across the planet. I have to live, too, Darryl. And Nate’s a good man. If he’s using me, well, I’m not sure what he’s after but you’re not a spy anymore and it’s not like your location was a secret .”
“I know.” Chains pulled her close and held her tightly. “You’re the greatest mum in the world—gave up everything to give me the best life had to offer. I was in a bad place when I left the agency and I needed to get away from England in a big way. I always worried that my work would somehow blow back on you so I thought the best way to protect you was to keep my distance…that never changed things between us. You know that, Mum .”
“I do. But you have to remember that life goes on, and now Nate is part of my life and you can’t come in here for a week every five years and make trouble for me. If Nate is a bad guy, that’s for me to handle. Don’t worry, though—you’ll be the first to know if he acts out .”
Everyone chuckled and they made their way back into the house for birthday cake .
G etting ready to go to sleep, Emilie sat on the edge of the double bed and brushed out her hair. It had been a good day, despite the blowup at dinner, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had such a nice birthday. Last year had been okay, celebrated with Viggo and her family in Sweden, but she’d been distracted by their abrupt marriage and introducing Simone to everyone. Tonight’s celebration had been low-key but warm and intimate, something she wasn’t used to. Growing up, since she had a twin, their birthdays had always been huge, filled with two sets of friends, neighbors, cousins and anyone else their parents thought to invite. Once Karl moved to the U.S. and Sebastian went off to university in England, she’d done her own thing for her birthdays, usually traveling with Therese and some wild group she’d hooked up with. She’d begun shutting out her family a long time ago, she realized, and tonight had reminded her what it was like to have one. Before the week was over, she had to call her mother; it seemed only fair to warn her of what might be coming if she was arrested .
“You all right?” Chains came into the room in nothing but a towel wrapped around his slim hips. His skin was still damp from his shower and droplets of water glistened on his chest and broad shoulders, drawing her eye to them .
“Yeah.” She forced herself to look away, unwilling to think about sex in such an intimate setting. Sharing a bed probably wasn’t a good idea either, but there didn’t seem to be an alternative unless one of them slept downstairs and that wouldn’t make sense to Dolores .
He moved to his suitcase and pulled out a pair of boxers, dropping the towel so he could tug them up his hips. She’d already seen him naked, but it was hard not to stare; he was exquisitely built. Broad shoulders, slim hips and a flat stomach weren’t particularly unique considering how much time she spent around professional athletes, but his bulging biceps and the dimples in his well-rounded backside made her mouth water a little. It was such a pleasure to look at him, she started when she realized he was watching her with a smirk .
“See anything you like ?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” She resumed brushing her hair, trying to hide the flush creeping up her cheeks .
“Good thing your tongue is attached,” he chuckled. “Because it surely would’ve fallen out the way you were licking me with your eyes .”
She sighed. “Look, my birthday is over. Let’s not do this, okay? We could easily have sex—neither of us is shy about it—but to spend five days indulging in a sexual attraction isn’t a good idea and we both know it. I don’t want work to be awkward if I go back, and with my future so uncertain, why would we start something that will probably end even if we don’t want it to ?”
“You’re not going to prison!” he snapped, knowing that was what she was talking about. “I’ve already done some digging and, so far, I haven’t found anything at all. If this was a big deal, an unsolved case the authorities are worried about, I would have seen something about it. I’m going to the library tomorrow so I can look up newspaper articles from that time period. If there was a death, even if it was considered accidental, there will be a record. If nothing else, maybe we’ll get his full name .”
She nodded slowly. “Yes, thank you. That would be helpful .”
He nodded curtly and pulled on a T-shirt. “I’m going to do a little work…got a handful of new member applications for the club and one of them is from a British national and Joe asked if I could do some poking around online with my sources here.” His eyes twinkled. “Unless you’ve changed your mind about sex .”
She shook her head, but couldn’t help but smile. “No. Go do your work. I’ll see you in the morning .”
“Good night, love.” He left the room quickly, shutting the door behind him. There was no way in hell he could be on the bed with her if they were both awake and thinking about sex. The fact it was a bad idea didn’t mean they didn’t both want it, and though he hated that she was right, getting involved physically could add a layer of complication he didn’t need. He’d agreed to his mother’s crazy plan because he had a gut feeling she was right about Emilie. Despite her guilt and the demons that plagued her, there was a look in her eyes that told him she needed something. That something could very well be the unconditional love his mother thought it was, and he was damned if he didn’t want to do whatever it took to make that haunted look disappear. He didn’t believe in that kind of love, but he had nothing against a little romance and short-term intimacy that brought two people pleasure .
That would include sex, though, he reasoned, and if she wasn’t willing to go there with him, how would he be what she needed? Since there were no answers to be found tonight, he put it out of his mind as he did the background search on the man Joe had asked him to look into and then checked in with Joe. He kept information about Emilie vague, telling him he was working on it and would update him when he had specifics. In the meantime, Joe would be doing Chains’ job at Club Inferno and would remain there until Chains returned .
With his work done and not ready to sleep, he pulled out his tablet and opened the e-reader app. He’d promised himself he would start rereading the classics, even if it was just one a month, and he’d downloaded War and Peace , To Kill A Mockingbird , and Lady Chatterley’s Lover before he’d left Las Vegas. Since he’d never read Harper Lee’s American classic when he’d been in school, he opened To Kill a Mockingbird . Perhaps Atticus Finch would either teach him something or put him to sleep .
H e opened his eyes to the smell of something delicious cooking in the oven and the sound of his mother’s humming in the other room. Blinking, he realized he’d fallen asleep with his tablet on his chest—Atticus Finch had not been as entertaining as he’d hoped—and someone had thrown a blanket over him at some point. Pushing it aside, he sat up and rubbed his hands down his face before grabbing his phone to check the time. It was after eight, meaning he’d slept close to seven hours, something he hadn’t done since he’d had the flu a couple years ago .
Shaking his head, he padded into the kitchen and kissed his mother’s cheek .
“Look who it is!” she grinned. “Couch a wee bit small for ya ?”
He chuckled. “I wanted to read for a bit…guess I fell asleep .”
“Nothing like the air here in the country to get you sleepin’ right!” She nodded in the direction of the stairs. “Em’s still fast asleep .”
“Yeah, she hasn’t been sleeping well,” he said. “Good for her to rest. I’m going for coffee .”
She nodded. “Take your time. Breakfast in about half an hour .”
“Thanks, Mum .”
W hile Chains spent a few hours at the library, Dolores and Emilie went shopping. There was a farmers market with fresh fruits and vegetables in town, and they wandered up and down the aisles as Dolores smiled and talked to almost everyone they ran into. Emilie enjoyed just being with her. She was full of life and laughter and seemed to have a million friends. Her eyes twinkled when she laughed with a man selling cabbage and she told a dirty joke to the woman who sold her a big bag of mixed berries. Emilie wondered how lonely it had to have been, knowing the man who fathered your child didn’t want anything to do with it. Dolores seemed to have come through it, but it still had to hurt. She was glad the older woman had now found someone who loved her, and she hoped Chains wouldn’t cause any trouble for them .
When Dolores got into a chat with a group of women about an upcoming evening of bingo, Emilie wandered to a nearby bench and sat down, thinking she could take a nap. It was lovely today, the sun shining brightly but the breeze cooling off the temperature. She leaned back and closed her eyes, enjoying the sun on her face and the wind gently lifting her hair. The buzzing in her pocket disrupted her peaceful moment and she saw Viggo’s name on the screen. She’d been planning to call him anyway, so she answered .
“Hello?”
“Em!” He sounded surprised, as though he hadn’t expected her to answer .
“Is everything all right with Simone?” she asked automatically. “It’s two in the morning there !”
“Oh, yes, she’s fine. I’m just getting to bed.” He paused. “How are you ?”
“I’m good,” she said. “I’m here in…Bickford, with Chains and his mother .”
Viggo was quiet. “So you’re with Chains and…his mother?” He sounded so confused she couldn’t help but chuckle .
“It’s complicated,” she said. “But he’s doing some digging through his resources to help me sort out my situation, and in the meantime, I’m helping him reconnect with his mum after five years of distance between them .”
“I’m guessing you’ll explain in more detail when you come home .”
“Of course .”
“You are coming home, aren’t you?” he asked carefully .
She hesitated. She hated to lie, but he needed to be prepared, didn’t he? “My intention is to be home by the time hockey season starts, but …”
“Em?” His voice grew deeper with concern. “Why wouldn’t you be home by then ?”
“I mailed you a letter,” she asked abruptly. “Have you gotten it yet ?”
“No.”
“Do something for me. Please ?”
“Short of leaving Jamie, I would do anything for you .”
“Don’t read it, okay? If I don’t get home by opening night of hockey season, open it then .”
“Em, that’s kind of spooky .”
“You trust me, don’t you ?”
“You know I do .”
“Then do this for me. I might be in a bit of trouble, over something I did a long time ago, but Chains is helping me sort it out. It’s just, you know, in case …”
He let out a low growl. “Em! You have a daughter to think about !”
“I am thinking about her!” she cried softly. “I’m doing this for her ! I can’t be a good mother if I don’t handle this. You said you trusted me and would do anything for me except leave Jamie—all I ask is you put the letter away until the first day of hockey season or when I get home, whichever comes first. Can you do that ?”
“All right, yeah.” He let out a breath. “But you have to text me every day to update me, even if it’s just to say you’re okay .”
“Viggo, I — ”
“Every day or no deal,” he said firmly .
She blew out a breath. “Yes, all right. I’ll text every day .”
“I love you, Em. You know my feelings for you are no different now ?”
“I love you too,” she said, warmth spreading through her. “I’m thankful nothing has changed. You mean so much to me .”
“And you to me. Thank you for messaging Jamie after the verdict—it means a lot that you care about him too .”
“How could I not? If he’s going to be Simone’s second daddy, he’s part of us now. Besides, seeing you two together makes me happy .”
“About that.” He cleared his throat .
“What is it?” she asked quickly .
“We got married. Yesterday, here in Ottawa .”
“Married?!” She was so surprised she wasn’t sure what to say at first. “Oh, my goodness! Viggo, congratulations! Are you happy? Was it lovely? Tell me everything !”
He laughed on the other end, obviously relieved. “Well, it happened quickly. We were talking about the future and I showed him the rings I’d bought just before we left for Ottawa, and asked what he thought about that. Next thing you know we’d asked the concierge here at the hotel if she could help us and…the next day we did it .”
“Who was there? What did your parents say?! Tell me everything, dammit !”
Laughing like the old friends they were, they talked another 15 minutes as he told her the details of their special day and that they were going on a short three-day honeymoon in Niagara Falls. She was smiling when she hung up, though a tiny part of her wanted to sob with envy. She wasn’t jealous—she adored both of them and knew they were much better suited for each other than she and Viggo had been—but she hadn’t realized how much she wanted that same type of happiness for herself until just now .
“Emilie?” Dolores was watching her with concern. “Are you all right, love ?”
“Yes.” Emilie swiped at a tear she hadn’t realized had fallen. “My ex-husband and his partner were married yesterday and I missed it.” She forced a smile. “Anyway, where to next ?”
Dolores hesitated. “You want to talk? You look a little shaken .”
“I’m fine, truly. I’m just a little sad I couldn’t be there with them and all our friends. It was a special day and I’m here…” She shook her head. “I don’t mean I’m not happy to have met you, only that I missed something so important .”
“Think of all you’d have missed if Chains hadn’t stopped you from going to Scotland Yard .”
Emilie looked down. “I know. That’s what’s so hard .”
Dolores watched her carefully, her brows knitting together with concern. “I think that’s enough sun for you today. Let’s have a cup of tea up the street and then we’ll head home. Come along .”