Redemption’s Inferno (Inferno #3)

Chapter 11

C hains was on his way home from the library when his phone rang. He was surprised to see Viggo’s name on the screen but had a feeling he knew why he was calling .

“Hello, mate,” he answered in a lighthearted voice .

“If you’re with Em, don’t let on it’s me .”

“No, she’s at the market with my mother .”

“What’s going on?!” Viggo snarled. “This isn’t your fault and I’m grateful you’ve gone to get her, but why are you having a holiday with your mum while Emilie is on the verge of…well, whatever the hell she’s on the verge of !”

Chains actually laughed. “Relax. My mum is better for her than you and me put together. She’s a tough old bird, but after being a critical care nurse for 30 years, she reads people better than any spy I ever met! Despite the fact I’ve been a shit to her and needed to make it up in person, this is the very best place for Emilie to be right now. Mum is intuitive when it comes to people who are hurting… She thinks a bit of mothering, a little bit of country living and time away from her busy life will get her to a place where she can at least… think about everything with a clear head.” He didn’t want to lie but he wasn’t going to tell Emilie’s bisexual ex-husband that Chains’ middle-aged mother thought Emilie’s only problem was that she hadn’t been romanced and loved enough .

Viggo was quiet .

“You still there ?”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “So essentially we—all of us—didn’t take care of her .”

“This is a mothering thing, not a friend, or even necessarily a husband thing. You didn’t fail her, mate. She was seeing a psychologist who couldn’t sort it out either. This isn’t on you .”

“Sometimes it feels like it is,” Viggo sighed. “If I hadn’t…well, anyway .”

“This is not about you and Jamie. I won’t pretend to know women all that well, but the one thing I know with no doubt at all is she adores you and Jamie. Look, I’ll tell you a secret if you swear you’ll never let on I told you—only so you understand this isn’t what you think .”

“Of course .”

Chains wasn’t sure he should be outing her secrets, but he explained about Adam anyway. “Her guilt and issues started long before you and Jamie. Between Adam’s death and that bitch Therese, you never had a chance .”

Viggo blew out a breath. “Shit. I wish she’d told me—we could’ve hired someone—and maybe settled this two years ago when we had the bullshit with Therese .”

“She’s deeply ashamed, but I’m working like hell to find some bit of evidence to say there’s more to the story .”

“Thank you.” Viggo was nodding even though he knew Chains couldn’t see it. “She promised to text me daily to let me know how she’s doing—make sure she does, yeah ?”

“Of course. Take care.” Chains disconnected and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought about what to do next. The library search had divulged Adam’s name: Adam Brown. Only one of the most common surnames in all of the United Kingdom. There was a slight catch that might be a break for them, though; the young man who had died came from Ashbourne, a city not far from Bickford. In a city that size, in central England, there couldn’t be many Brown families whose 20-year-old son named Adam died in a hotel in London eight years ago. At least he hoped not. For now, he wouldn’t tell Emilie where he was from, only his last name. He wanted to find out more before he told her anything that might send her spiraling again .

T he Grim Reaper held a baby in his hands, shaking it roughly as he screamed at Emilie to wake up, his voice a rumbling baritone that thundered through her dreams until she was whimpering in fear .

“Bitch! You bloody bitch! Adam Brown had his whole life ahead of him—and you took it away! Now I’ll take yours!” His icy skinless fingers closed around her throat and Emilie woke with a scream, hands at her neck as she gasped for breath .

“Em!” Chains sat up with a start, instantly reaching for her. “It was just a dream, easy.” He wrapped his arms around her trembling body and pulled her into his bare chest. She was shaking so hard she couldn’t even talk and he closed his arms around her more tightly, his lips on her temple. “I’ve got you…it was just a dream. Just hold on to me, love .”

“It, it, it was…” She burst into tears and buried her face against his shoulder, soaking up his warmth and losing herself in his strength. “I can’t do it anymore…” she sobbed. “I can’t. I have to turn myself in !”

“Not tonight,” he whispered. “I’ve got you. Shh.” He rocked her like a child, his thoughts racing as he considered telling her about finding Adam’s family. Not now, he decided, but in the morning. Two days had passed since finding out Adam’s identity and earlier this afternoon he’d discovered where the boy’s parents lived. He’d been planning to contact them on his own, but if Emilie’s guilt was escalating again, he might have to bring her along. He just didn’t know if that would be a good or bad thing .

“Please don’t leave me tonight,” she whispered. Most nights Chains either fell asleep on the couch or came in close to dawn so she didn’t know he was there until she woke in the morning .

“I’m not going anywhere .”

The deep timbre of his voice washed over her and she relaxed slightly .

“Sleep now,” he said, stroking her hair. “And in the morning we’ll come up with a plan .”

“You have a plan?” she murmured sleepily .

“Yeah. But not at four in the morning. Sleep and we’ll talk when we get up .”

“I don’t know if I can go back to sleep,” she shuddered. “It was so awful .”

“I’m right here and there’s no demon in your dreams that’s stronger than I am—trust me on this. Tell the bloke to come to me .”

Even as she drifted off to sleep she couldn’t help but give a small smile, imagining the dream version of herself telling the Grim Reaper to go talk to Chains. With that thought in mind, she was asleep again in less than a minute .

Sleep came more slowly for Chains. Stroking her silky hair and having her warm, soft body wrapped in his kept thoughts of finding Adam Brown’s family far away. He’d been fighting this physical attraction by telling himself the emotional attachment wasn’t real, but after five days together he sometimes wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t. They weren’t a real couple—he wasn’t delusional—but it was starting to feel like it and that was disconcerting to a guy like him. They slept in the same bed, despite the lack of sex, and spent all day together. Ironically, he didn’t feel put-upon having her around. She was easygoing and laughed a lot, helped his mum in the kitchen as though she’d always lived here and played peacemaker between him and his mother when they quarreled. It was as though she couldn’t stand to see them at odds and he’d gently pointed out they’d always bickered—it was part of their relationship. Even before he’d done his five-year disappearing act, they rarely went a day without snapping at each other about something. It was just their thing; two strong personalities who were comfortable enough together to say what they were thinking, no matter what. Emilie obviously didn’t have that kind of relationship with her family so she wasn’t used to it, but she seemed to be adjusting now that he’d told her it was normal for them .

Unfortunately, though she grew more outwardly relaxed and happy with each passing day, he didn’t have a lot of time to continue whatever it was they were doing. She played along as his fiancée because he’d asked her to, but once they left Bickford that would be all over. He didn’t believe in marriage and forever love, but the thought of going back to an employer/employee relationship with her made his chest tighten in frustration. He didn’t want this charade to end for a lot of reasons, but mostly because he could already see his mother had been right. The more they showered Emilie with love and attention, the more she came out of whatever dark emotions kept pieces of her prisoner .

She’d been doing great until tonight. He wondered what had set her off and struggled to come up with an answer. He knew she was relaxed, sleeping late most mornings and going off with his mother every day for a couple of hours, whether it was to the market or to have tea with ladies from the hospital where Dolores had worked. It seemed to be exactly what she needed, because she was smiling a lot and the tightness in her face was almost gone. Until tonight. Apparently, her demons were stronger than the power of Dolores’ love therapy, and he was running out of time. There was only one day left in the week she’d promised him, so he had to do something. Not only because he didn’t want her to turn herself in, but because he needed to get away from the intimacy they’d begun to share before it turned into something that would ultimately hurt her .

He didn’t want to, but he would swallow his pride and ask Nate to call someone at Scotland Yard to get the official reports. Hopefully he would be able to get them without providing the reason he wanted them. The newspaper articles said 20-year-old Adam Brown had been found dead in a London hotel room. Though there were no signs of foul play, it was evident there had been excessive partying and they’d originally suspected drugs or alcohol as the cause of death. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to find any follow-up articles listing the actual findings, and former resources wouldn’t be easily accessed now that he’d been away from MI6 for so long. He still wasn’t sure he liked or could trust Nate, but his mother tended to read people well and, for both their sakes, he needed to give the man a chance .

Emilie shifted in her sleep, sliding one of her long, bare legs between his and he groaned. He slept in shorts when he was beside her because just being next to her in such a small bed was temptation enough, but being skin on skin—even now that it was just their legs—might kill him. He took a deep breath, willing himself not to get any harder than he already was, and tried to think of the most gruesome sights he’d seen in the military. He didn’t know how much longer he would be able to resist having her beside him every night, and since she wasn’t interested in casual sex, he would have to end this charade the day after tomorrow. He was starting to have all sorts of weird emotions when it came to Emilie and because of his stance on long-term relationships, there was no point in keeping this up. He wouldn’t abandon her, of course, but they had to leave Bickford and this ridiculous faux engagement. They could go back to London, away from his mother’s meddling, and do whatever needed to be done .

Decision made, he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to get some sleep .

T he following day passed quickly. Emilie had needed some things from the pharmacy, she and Dolores were gone when he got up in the morning. By the time they returned they had time for a quick breakfast before Dolores took Emilie to the hospital with her to volunteer in the children’s cancer ward. It was something she’d done for years and when she mentioned it to Emilie, the younger woman had been quick to agree to join her. Whether it was her lingering guilt about seemingly everything, or the tug that came from having a child of her own now, she also asked they stop somewhere she could pick up small gifts for them. They decided on coloring books, crayons and soft, squishy balls the children could toss back and forth without hurting anyone or breaking anything. They left immersed in their plan and Chains was glad for the chance to reach out to Nate without anyone being able to hear him .

Once they’d spoken, Chains went upstairs to pack and make a few phone calls, firmly ignoring the nagging voice inside his head warning him it wasn’t time to end this, that he and Emilie needed more time. For what, he didn’t know, but as he tried to shake off feelings he wasn’t familiar with, part of him worried it was already too late. He was completely immersed in this situation, and with her, so it felt like putting on the brakes was a lesson in futility. Except he didn’t know what else to do. He’d stayed single over the years on purpose. A man with a background like his would only put anyone he cared about in danger. Although many of his missions had taken him all over the world, a good percentage of them either started or ended here in Great Britain. That had played a huge role in why he’d stayed away for more than five years. He’d come through one day last year while working security for a rock band that was on tour, but he’d literally walked from the airport to a tour bus, drove to the venue where he worked the concert, got back in the tour bus and drove to Scotland. Then they flew to Scandinavia and that had been as close to the United Kingdom as he’d come .

Living in Las Vegas had been liberating. He didn’t feel like he was looking over his shoulder anymore and though he hated keeping his distance from his mother, he’d known it was safer for both of them. Despite the passage of time, he still worried his past would come back to haunt him. The people he’d dealt with had all been miserable excuses for human beings—terrorists, mercenaries and worse—but there was sometimes collateral damage and that was a big part of the reason he’d retired at 31. Technically, he’d been retired now for as many years as he’d been a spy, but by working in the security field he’d kept his skills honed just in case. Just in case of what, he often wondered, but he’d always felt he needed to be prepared for anything. Except he was 36 years old now, and suddenly he couldn’t understand what he’d been protecting everyone from. The chances someone from a case five or ten years ago would come looking for him were almost nil; maybe there was some truth to what Warren had told him. There was nothing wrong with being alone, but there was no reason to push people away. Emilie had done that and look where it had gotten her .

Glancing at the time, he saw it was nearly 11:00 in the morning, which was 3:00 a.m. back in Las Vegas. Club Inferno would be closing up for the night, so he thought it might be a good idea to check in with Joe. Not only did he want to stay on top of things back home, but he also needed a distraction from his thoughts. It felt like all he worried about anymore was Emilie, and he wasn’t used to a woman occupying his thoughts like that .

When Joe didn’t answer, he called the club’s main line and waited .

“Club Inferno!” Franny’s harried voice was abrupt and Chains was momentarily taken aback .

“Franny, that you?” he asked .

“Chains! Damn, you have shitty timing! Fight broke out in the dungeon, sub used her safe word during a public scene and I had to handle that by myself with a drunk dom! Joe’s a good guy but he doesn’t know the first thing about this lifestyle and he’s out of his league !”

“Christ, I’m sorry.” He sighed heavily. “Been preoccupied with everything going on here .”

“Is Emilie okay?” she asked, momentarily distracted from what was going on around her .

“So far so good,” he said. “But I’m also dealing with my mum. We hadn’t spoken in a long time and now that I’m here, well…it feels like the time is right to rectify all that .”

Franny was quiet for a moment. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, look, I have to get back to the situation here. Come back soon, okay? We need you around here! Both of you.” She disconnected and Chains felt a moment of guilt. Damn, he hated hearing there had been incidents at the club and he wasn’t there to handle them. Becca was still paying him—she’d insisted it was a worthwhile investment to bring Emilie home—and he hated taking a paycheck for nothing. He’d done two background checks since he’d been here, but that didn’t count—Joe could do those in his sleep .

With a grunt of frustration, he pulled on his running shoes and tied his dreads into a ponytail. Sometimes the only way to deal with things like this was to sweat until he couldn’t stand it anymore. A good run would hopefully clear his head and help him focus again. He was going in too many directions right now and he wasn’t used to it. Usually, he kept his life fairly orderly; between Emilie and his mother, all the structure had gone out the window and had been replaced by chaos. The trouble was he was not just embracing this chaos, he was finding satisfaction in it too. It didn’t seem like going home to his orderly life in Las Vegas held much appeal right now, and that scared him most of all .