Requiem (Blackwater Pack #5)

Chapter 7

7

LULU

Everything hurt. My head was pounding, my chest felt like it had been cracked open, and my bones were seconds from shattering. From the tips of my toes to the roots of my hair. I was pretty sure even my eyelashes were crying out for relief.

My throat was bone dry, my mouth full of cotton that choked back the garbled moan that resonated through my chest.

Panic speared into my heart, sending a jolt of awareness through my skin that made fresh agony steal what little air I had. But the worst was the empty chasm where my power should have been.

“Don’t move,” a rough voice ordered, and I surrendered to it without thought. Calloused fingers sifted through my hair. “That’s my girl. Just take it slow.”

“Dimitri, your arm?—”

“Will heal.” Dimitri cut off the other person with a growl. “Lulu’s what matters.”

A soft sigh, and then I felt the bed dip which made me realize I was in a bed.

I inhaled the woodsy, pine scent. It filled my senses and settled some of my unease.

Okay, a lot of my unease.

The only thing keeping me from falling apart was knowing Dimitri was there. His scent and his calming presence kept the panic at bay.

Rough fingers smoothed over my brow. “Can you open your eyes?”

Didn’t he know that I would do whatever he asked? That I was utterly powerless against the heavy undertow that tied us together?

I managed to crack my eyelids open, the bright lights shining down drilled into my skull like icepicks. Much to my horror, I let out a pathetic sort of whimper and rolled to Dimitri, burying my face against his thigh.

“Turn the lights off,” Dimitri barked, his harsh tone at odds with the gentle way his fingers sifted through my hair.

The light trying to push through my eyelids vanished, and I managed a watery exhale.

“Easy,” he soothed, “I’ve got you.”

“Wh-what happened?” I choked out, my vocal chords frayed.

“Which part? The one where you damn near killed yourself? Or when Addie showed up out of nowhere and ripped that bitch’s throat out?” Dimitri’s chuckle was laced with bitterness.

“She saved everyone?” I pressed.

“Yeah.”

Exhaling slowly, I leaned back and looked up at him. “I failed.”

His brows furrowed as his eyes narrowed. “No, you didn’t.”

“I wasn’t strong enough,” I whispered.

His eyes flashed, but his tone was surprisingly tender. “It’s not on you to save everyone, Lu. Nowhere is it written that we expect you to save our asses whenever a whacked out elemental comes looking for a fight.”

That made my lips twitch. “You sure?”

He grinned. “Fairly sure. If not, I know a guy who can make it an official decree.”

I chuckled, and that sound rolled into a groan as my ribs and head throbbed in protest.

He smoothed a hand over my hair and made a soft, shushing noise. “Why don’t you rest?”

“Why don’t you stay with her?” Natasha suggested from the other side of the room, her tone whispered but not unexpected. I knew Dimitri had been talking to someone when I woke up, and it made sense it was his mother. “I’ll go and check in with your father and Addie.”

Addie .

My gaze snapped open. “Addie’s back.” I shoved myself up on one arm and felt my stomach swoop dangerously. I swallowed back a wave of nausea before taking deep breaths through my nose.

“Dammit, Lulu,” Dimitri growled, bracing my shoulders to keep me upright. “Can’t you ever just do what you’re told?”

I squinted at him. “You didn’t tell me what to do.”

Natasha chuckled. “Seems like our girl’s feeling a bit better if she can sass you, Dima.”

“Not helping,” he gritted out, ethereal green eyes still locked with mine. “I said take it easy, smartass.”

“I’m sitting in a bed ,” I emphasized. “It doesn’t get much easier.”

A muscle in his jaw fluttered as his eyes closed. “Swear to every god under the fucking sun?—”

“Just the sun?” I needled, feeling the nausea settle and slipping into our usual banter. “What did the gods of the moon and stars ever do to you that made you think they’re unreliable?”

He glared at me. “Seriously?”

I simply smiled.

Natasha burst into laughter as she came closer to the bed. Looking at me with affection, she pushed a few curls away from my eyes. “Glad to see you’re doing better, sweet girl. Can I get you anything?”

“Where is everyone else?” I asked.

As if queued, a soft knock rapped against my partially open door and Alexei peaked his head in. With blond hair, icy blue eyes, and tattoos climbing up his throat, Alexei looked every part the role of pack enforcer. He was Dimitri’s beta and best friend. That day I’d saved Dimitri, Lex had been there.

That day bonded me to more than just Dimitri; Alexei came along as part of the deal. I hadn’t soul bonded us, but Alexei became my protector and surrogate big brother. If Dimitri wasn’t keeping an eye out for me, then Lex usually was.

“ Sestra .” He nodded at me. “How are you?”

I smiled at the nickname that loosely translated to sister. “I’ll be okay.”

Shadows crowded in his gaze, and I knew that the way his jaw didn’t stop working meant that he was upset.

Probably because he hadn’t been there to get his ass kicked with the rest of us. He took the safety and security of the pack as his personal responsibility, and failing any of us would have him stewing for weeks to come.

Lex looked at Dimitri next, his frown deepening. “You’re hurt.”

My eyes flared wide and I twisted to see Dimitri, scanning him until my gaze landed on his bandaged wrist. “Dimitri.”

Rolling his eyes, Dimitri waved off our concern. “It’s a broken wrist. Mom splinted it, and it’ll heal in a day or two.”

Lex blew out a hard breath, looking just this side of murderous. “Andres and I are going to speak with Nikolai to discuss the breach and increased safety measures.”

“I should go, too,” Natasha murmured. “You two should rest.”

“No, I should come, too.” I tried swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, and spots blurred my vision.

“Not happening,” Dimitri snarled, physically restraining me.

I glared at him. “Let go.”

“Fuck no,” he spat. “You need to rest.”

“He’s right,” Natasha added, concern streaking her striking features. “What you did out there…” She trailed off, unable to put words to what I did out there .

I lowered my head, ashamed that I’d tried to summon that power again. I’d previously used my magic, but only once before had I felt that kind of out of control power wrapped around my soul.

It had been ten years, and I still lived in fear of it. Of myself.

But when faced with potentially losing my friends, I hadn’t hesitated to grab for it.

Unlike when I was a child, the power wasn’t quite there. Typically powers matured with adults, but maybe since I barely used mine, it was rusty? I couldn’t figure out why it was right there, and then gone. Poof. Vanished.

Nothing made sense.

Clearing my throat, I shoved down the panic spiraling in my chest. “If they’re talking about safety measures, then I absolutely am going. I’m the one who set up the wards they tripped, remember?”

Dimitri’s nostrils flared. “You need rest.”

I flattened a hand against his chest, the warmth radiating from him sinking into my weary bones. “I promise I’ll rest after we make sure everyone is safe.”

He still didn’t look convinced.

“Dimitri—”

He stood quickly and all but ripped the covers from my body. His arms were under and around me before I could protest, swinging me up against his chest.

My heart stuttered as our noses brushed. I could see the tiny flecks of gold around his pupils that made the green irises impossibly greener.

“I-I can walk,” I managed to croak out. Honestly, I wasn’t sure that I could. My legs felt like jelly, but I wasn’t sure if that was from the power drain or from the pine scent swirling around my brain as I processed how close we were.

He scowled. “If you want to go downstairs—or anywhere else tonight—then I’m carrying you.”

I studied him, my gaze locked with his as everything else seemed to fade away until it was just us.

Tonight had exhausted us both, crashing through and shattering the walls we usually kept up.

Now I could see the wariness in his gaze, the possessive way his arms tightened around me. The set of his jaw that indicated he wasn’t going to yield.

And I didn’t want him to.

Just for this moment, I wanted to give in. To let my body, and my heart, rest with him. To let him shoulder the burdens that were slowly grinding me into the dirt.

The second he registered the surrender in my eyes, his gaze softened. Almost without thinking, he pressed his lips to my temple. “Can’t lose you,” he whispered so softly I thought I’d dreamed it.

My fingers curled into the worn cotton of his black tee. “You won’t,” I vowed just as quietly. I tucked my head against his shoulder and nuzzled against his neck.

Ten years I’d spent building walls and throwing obstacles to stay away from Dimitri.

And it only took a single night to decimate them all.