Restrictions (Sterling Family #2)

37. Asher

37

ASHER

“ Y ou’re fucking her.”

It’s not a question coming from my brother. It’s a cold, knowing statement in the cool night air as he joins me out on the patio.

After I finished inside Viv, we did go back to the dinner table. The tension from before had died down, and although I didn’t want to engage in bullshit small talk, I was present. After we finished eating, Vivienne took Baz downstairs to start the agonizing process of getting Baz to go to sleep in a place virtually unknown to him.

I offered to help, but she suggested I spend some time with my family.

Not something I wanted. So after helping clean up the mess and when Penelope, Lola and my mom cracked open a bottle of wine, I found solace in their back patio which is right on the beach. I can see the ocean as I watch the water rippling from the breezy night.

I don’t look at my brother as he takes a seat in the chair covered in padded white fabric that’s next to my identical one.

Everything here is white.

Who the hell are they trying to fool? As if I don’t know how black their souls are.

“Answer me, Asher. ”

The laugh that rolls out of my throat is cold and bitter. “Was it a question?”

I can feel him bristling next to me, but I don’t turn to face him. “Are you?”

“You have no right to ask me anything.” I love my brother. I do. I love my entire family. Maybe not my father. But I’m not answering to Linc.

“She’s Sebastian’s mom.”

I swallow the bile in my throat, feeling the hot shame inside but not wanting to show him a goddamn ounce of it. “She’s a woman.”

I try to repeat her own words, knowing they’ll fall on deaf ears. “A woman who had a child with our brother.”

Now my body swivels, my sight on my brother. “You have some balls, man. I’ll give you that.”

“Must run in the family.”

“Fuck you.”

His jaw ticks, his mouth in an angry frown. “After all the shit you gave me about P, you’re fucking Vivienne. When you’re supposed to be helping her out.”

“I help her plenty.”

“Right. Help her right out of her pants.”

I swallow, hating that he’s throwing this in my face. Hating that I knew he would. Hating that he’s right and I'm no better than him. “What we do is none of your business, Linc.” I lean closer to him, my eyes sending a deadly warning I know he won’t listen to. “She wasn’t his.”

“Penelope wasn’t either.” His words bite, but I see him flinch ever so slightly.

“Bull. Shit.” I turn away from him, looking back at the ocean. “She was his, Linc. You can keep telling yourself all you want that she was always yours, but we both know it’s a lie.”

A lie everyone else has just accepted. He claimed her, and they all just sit around and accept it—hell, they embrace it.

But I can’t.

“Asher, I’ve loved her since the day we met, and I don’t owe you shit. But she is mine.”

“He had her first.”

“No.” His voice is a hoarse growl into the night. “He didn’t.”

I feel sick as my eyes close and my stomach heaves, thinking about Penelope and Colt’s senior prom. The night I saw Linc take Penelope into our parents’ bedroom, stay in there with her for hours doing God knows what to her body.

“Does that make you feel like a big man, Linc? Fucking her first?” I turn to look at him again. “Turning her into your slut?”

His eyes flash red, and I jump up just out of his grasp a second before his body lunges for mine as he tries to calm himself. “Don’t.”

The word is a threat, and I see the rage burning in him as he stands a foot away. “What? That’s what happened, right? She was dating him, but you just had to claim her. You fucked her when they were still together.”

“They weren’t together.”

I was there. I saw them posing for pictures for my mom in their prom attire. I saw his kiss graze her forehead and then her lips before they climbed in the car. They were in love before prom, and then somehow the night ended with her in bed with Linc.

“Keep telling yourself that.”

He shakes it off, running his fingers through his hair, his chest heaving with anger I recognize. “This isn’t about me and P. I don’t really give a flying fuck what you think about us. She’s mine, and I'm hers.” His eyes meet mine. “Vivienne isn’t a fucktoy. She’s Sebastian’s mom.”

“Who the hell said she was a fucktoy?”

“Ah, okay. So you and she are a thing? You’re fully committed?”

My jaw ticks and part of me wishes he would hit me. I want to feel it, the fist crunching against my bones, the physical pain through my body to match the way I feel inside. “Again, none of your fucking business.”

“It is.” A deep breath follows before he adds, “Sebastian is my business, and she is his mother.”

I scoff. He really has lost his fucking mind. “Sebastian is your nephew, but he’s also mine. And I have spent a hell of a lot more time with the kid. I adore that fucking kid. I’ll never let anything happen to him.”

“You’re fucking his mother. ”

“I take good care of his mother.” It feels fucking dirty coming out of my mouth, and she’s above it, but I don’t back down.

“For how long?” He takes a step closer to me. “How long before you’re bored?”

My throat dries. “It’ll be fine.”

“Bullshit. She’s a single mother. I have no idea what lies you told her to get her to engage in this fucking dumbass affair, but whatever it is... it will end badly. And Baz is going to get hurt.”

“I’ll never hurt him.”

“Fucking his mother and not loving her. Not committing to her. That hurts him.”

He doesn’t think any more of me than I do him. And although he’s not wrong, it stings. “I have it under control.”

He shakes his head. “You care about her. I see it.” My jaw ticks as my teeth clench, but I'm surprised and try like hell not to show it. “I know you don’t want to hurt either of them, but you have so much to learn, and you can’t play with her heart.”

“Fucking hypocrite.”

“Learn from me.”

What? I stare at him, trying to figure out what the fuck he’s talking about. “I’m not you.”

His eyes are unreadable, but I swear I see a flicker of pain in his eyes. “I know.”

He turns away from me, and I'm not sure what just happened. “I won’t hurt her.” For whatever reason I feel the need to explain, even if it’s to his back. “She knows I don’t want anything serious, and she doesn’t have time for anything serious anyway. We have it under control.”

He doesn’t turn back to me. “Nothing but chaos is coming your way, little brother.” His voice softens as he heads toward the door. “And I’d give anything to save you from it.”

He opens the patio door and leaves me alone outside.

That could have gone worse. I wait for a while outside, staring at the water and the sky as they seem to meet.

I don’t need Linc to save me, but there is someone under that roof who can pull me from the depths of my own hatred.

At least for the moments I allow myself to get lost in her.