Chapter Six
JAMIE
I beam down at the buckle in my hand, my cheeks aching from how wide I’m smiling. My thighs are burning, and I’m still breathing heavily, but I don’t really know if that’s from exertion or just how goddamn happy I am.
“Knew you had it in you, kid!” my dad cheers, slapping me heartily on the back.
It’s been a long time since my dad has had anything but gruff complaints to offer me. The high of proving to him that I can do this is almost enough to rival the excitement of winning.
Sure, I’m still in the junior leagues as far as professional riding is concerned, but I finally have a buckle to my name. After the losing streak I’ve been suffering through leading up to the Plains rodeo, any little success feels like a massive step forward. What was supposed to be a few weeks to make money on the circuit has turned into an almost three month stint, and while I’m thrilled about the win, I’m more excited about the money that comes along with it. It’s one step closer to Oakley.
“God, my legs hurt,” I complain, laughing when my dad scoffs at me.
“Get used to it,” he says with a grin. “That’s how winners feel.”
I roll my eyes at him, but it’s good-natured. My mood is too good to let his plans for my future sour my thoughts. The higher divisions are starting up their rounds, but as I make my way through the crowd, people still stop to clap me on the shoulder and shake my hand.
I’m heading toward the bathroom, already planning my trip to New York, when a pair of arms wrap around my waist from behind.
I freeze immediately, my heart soaring at the thought that maybe, impossibly, Oakley might be here , that she came to watch me. My eyes close, too scared to look down and confirm what I want so badly to be true.
No wins meant no money, but if she came to see me, maybe I don’t have to be so scared that it’ll be too late when I finally get to New York. I can finally beg her to let me explain, go through the script I’ve been rehearsing for the past three months for when I finally get to see my girl’s beautiful, perfect face again.
When I turn and open my eyes, my mood immediately sours. Because standing there, arms still around my waist, is none other than Savannah fucking Ward. She’s in the smallest shorts known to man and a cowboy hat that’s probably never seen hide nor hair of a real ranch. I curl my lip in disgust as she presses her chest against mine, her tank top covering almost nothing.
I step away from her without a second thought, my hand twitching at my side as I watch her stumble for a second before finding her footing. I refuse to reach out to steady her, already feeling dirtier just from the knowledge that she got her hands on me again than I do from the dust and sweat on my face.
“The fuck are you doing here?” I ask, my voice sharp.
I stare down at her in disbelief of her relentless audacity but all she does is giggle at me before turning to her posse of friends. The three of them look somewhere between entertained and snide, a practiced mean high school girl look that they’ve got down to a science. I roll my eyes when they smile vapidly and wave at me.
“Guys, this is Jamie!” she introduces. “We grew up together.”
She reaches out to hug me again, but I instantly step aside. There is no way I want her hands on me. I scoff at her, raking a disgusted look over her and all her little friends. They look confused, which I can only assume is because Savannah has been doing what she does best—lying.
“Seriously?” I sigh, wanting this to be over with. I’m in a good mood for once, and I can finally start planning how to get Oakley back. I don’t want to deal with any of this right now. “What the hell are you doing here?”
I can’t believe she has the gall to show up and act like we’re friends after what she did at Oakley’s birthday. Does she think that she can just force a kiss on me, ruin my relationship, and then show up as soon as things are going well and act like everything’s good? Just thinking about that night gets my blood boiling. I know I was also to blame for how everything went down, and the timing of things could not have been worse, but everything with Savannah was entirely her fault. I know that the kiss wasn’t what broke me and Oakley apart, but even seeing her is enough to make my skin crawl.
“Oh my God, what’s your problem?” she calls after me as I turn to walk away once more.
She sounds like she thinks I’m joking, and it makes me even more furious. I ignore her entirely, fuming and doing my best to keep myself in check before I start screaming at her in front of everyone here. I’ve never hated someone the way I hate her, and my chest is bubbling with a million insults that I want to hurl at her, but I know I won’t.
Before I can even figure out how to get away from her for good, she’s talking again.
“Come on, Jamie,” she whines, following behind me. “We were on a road trip and heard you were riding. I just wanted to come see you and offer my support.”
My mouth waters with acid and hate, and I turn back around before staring her down.
“Why the fuck would I want to see you, Savannah?” I say harshly. “After everything you did? Get lost.”
Her little posse of friends shifts uncomfortably, moving closer to her like they think I’m going to hurt her. She may be a raging bitch, but I’d never lay my hands on a woman.
“Is this still about Oakley?” she laughs viciously, rolling her eyes in a way that makes me see red. “Why do you even care? I’m pretty sure y’all broke up. You know, like, explosively. In front of everyone.”
My gut flips unpleasantly, shame and anger and heartbreak rushing through me in one massive tidal wave of emotion. “I don’t give a fuck what you say and think, Savannah,” I snarl, “and no matter how hard you tried to fuck things up for me, I’m going to get Oakley back.”
She twists her lips in a mocking little pout, a scathing laugh falling from her lips in the next second.
“Yeah, I’m sure that’s going great,” she sighs, lazily checking her nails. “She hasn’t even called you since she dumped your ass, has she?”
The truth of that hits me right in the heart, even if I know Savannah is just swinging blindly. All she’s ever been is desperate. She’s only ever wanted attention and she never bothered to develop an actual personality outside of being mean to everyone she comes across, but she’s certainly had a lot of practice at figuring out exactly what hurts someone the most. Her friends seem to be practiced in the same art because they start giggling meanly and whispering amongst themselves.
Savannah lifts her hand to touch my face, but I step back, glaring at her. I need to reel myself in before I do something I really regret, but she’s pressing every single button I have. Vividly, I imagine shoving her into the dirt, but I ball my hands into fists at my side and stomp down on the urge. I have fucking morals, and I can’t let myself do something like that.
I wouldn’t be the man Oakley fell in love with if I did that. Savannah may deserve the karma that’s coming for her, but it won’t come at my hands.
“Face it, Jamie,” she simpers at me, “she clearly doesn’t care. She’s always thought she’s too good for folks like us. All of the Montgomery’s do. I mean, seriously, why waste your time? She’s probably already dating someone else.”
I’m vibrating with fury by the time she finishes her little rant, and I can tell by the sadistic gleam in her eyes that she’s gotten exactly what she wants.
“Stay the fuck away from me,” I grit out, my voice shaking.
I spin to give her my back once more and this time, I don’t let her stop me from walking away.
Finally making my way inside the bathroom, I’m instantly grateful for the silence that greets me. It’s a small space, just a toilet and a sink, but it’s blessedly private, and I sigh in relief. Locking the door to give myself a moment of peace, I step up to the sink and lean my hands against it as I lower my head and take a deep breath. My hands are shaking with an unpleasant mix of anger and anxiety, and when I look up at myself in the mirror, I look like a wreck. My eyes are red, and my face is thinner than I remember it being just a few months ago, and I just look so completely beat down and exhausted that I’m almost surprised that I’m still standing.
I’m frustrated and pent up and angry. I’m proud of myself for this win, and I miss Oakley so much it fucking burns.
Just the thought of her is enough to make my heart race in my chest, and I groan when I realize I’m getting hard. I must be the biggest mess on the entire planet. My hand moves away from the sink almost like it has a mind of its own, and my breath hitches at the first press of my palm against the growing bulge in my pants and it's enough to make my mind go blank.
I fumble with my belt, yanking it open and shoving my jeans down just far enough to bare my cock, desperate for anything good. I want things to be simple again, I want Oakley again, and all I can think about is that perfect smile on her face, the way her waist felt in my hands. My hand is dry and rough around my cock, but I don’t care, focusing on the memories of Oakley beneath me. Her mouth was always so soft, and she told me the sweetest things every time we laid in bed together. It hardly takes two minutes for me to be spilling over my hand with the memories of her opening up for me playing out in my head.
I’m left panting, still hunched over the sink as my thighs shake from the aftershocks of my orgasm. My own cum is starting to dry on my hand, and I suddenly feel absolutely filthy.
I turn the tap on and wash my hands roughly, trying to cleanse myself of my own shame. My pants are easy enough to get back into place, and as soon as my belt is buckled again, I cup my hand beneath the water. I rub it across my face, hoping it’ll make me feel a little less disgusting.
It washes most of the grime away from my skin, but I still feel stained. Guilt and heartbreak sit heavily in my chest, and I realize helplessly that glaring at myself in the mirror isn’t going to do anything to fix that. My determination to get Oakley back hasn’t wavered for even a second, but part of me is starting to doubt my chances. Savannah is right, it’s been months , and I haven’t been able to talk to her at all. Worse being that she hasn’t tried to reach out, not once. If she’s moved on, I don’t know how I’ll survive it.
“Jamie? You in there?” my dad’s voice calls, following a knock on the door.
“Yeah,” I answer. “Just washing my face. One sec.”
Practicing my smile in the mirror, I do my best to not make it look forced when I open the door. I’m greeted almost immediately with a stack of papers being waved in my face. My dad grins proudly from behind them, already pressing a pen into my hand as he leads me away from the bathroom and toward a low bench set up by the wall.
“You caught some eyes out there,” he says, slapping the papers down between us. “You’ve got a sponsor for the next two shows in the circuit, all you have to do is sign. I already told Frankie you’d do it.”
I look between his face and the papers, pride warring with frustration. The pay is good, and it’s nice to know that I actually can manage to make a living at this, and that someone other than my dad can see that, but I wasn’t planning on sticking around. My winnings from this show would be enough to get me to New York, and all I want right now is to see Oakley’s face again. I can see from the look on my dad’s face, though, that ‘no’ isn’t an acceptable answer.
I do my best to keep my desperation at bay as I look down at the papers, scanning over the terms.
If I win both of the shows this Frankie guy wants to sponsor me for, not only will I walk away with eighty percent of my winnings, but I’ll also have more than a month’s break in my touring schedule. I only have a day before my next show, which won’t be enough time to go find Oakley and win her back, but the money from this would be enough to start a small savings for our future.
I hesitate with the tip of the pen on the paper.
This means more waiting, but I’ll be able to prove to Oakley that I’m serious about everything when I see her. I’ll be able to show my face to her as a man who loves her rather than a boy who wants her. I’ll have money in the bank, and a solid job to provide for her. I just need her to wait a little longer.
I grit my teeth and sign away the next two weeks of my life.