Riding Jamie (Montgomery Dreams #1)

Chapter Ten

OAKLEY

By the time I make it to the penthouse, I'm starting to slide from irritated to just plain exhausted.

I almost want to cry in relief when the elevator opens seconds after I press the call button. The ride up is quick, and I gratefully crumple back against the cool metal of the wall. I wish closing my eyes helped with the headache starting to brew at the base of my skull, but it just makes me focus on it more.

The doors open again when the elevator reaches my floor, and I fumble my way into the apartment, half dead on my feet.

My breath rushes out of my lungs in a massive sigh when I finally collapse face down on my bed. My bag is still slung over one shoulder, and I'm still dressed in my work clothes, but I don't care. The comfort of being in my bed and knowing the day is finally over is too great to care about any little details.

I take several slow, centering breaths in an attempt to release some of the tension still knotting at the base of my spine. The world slowly stops feeling like it's going a million miles an hour as I bask in the quiet.

Of course, it doesn't last long.

I groan, exasperated, when I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket. My hopes of it just being a text are dashed when it keeps going, and I pull it out before picking up the call without even looking at who it is.

“Hello?” I answer, not bothering to hide the exhaustion in my voice.

“Hey, Oaks.”

An easy smile spreads over my face at the sound of Bo’s voice. It’s been a few weeks since we've gotten to chat, and I miss him.

I miss home. I miss lazy weekend mornings and my mom's cooking and picking on my big brother.

The exhaustion of today only makes the ache of missing everyone even sharper, but getting to talk to Bo will make it easier. He may be a shithead, but my brother has always been one of my best friends.

“Bo,” I say, my smile probably obvious in my voice. “It's been a minute. How's everything back home?”

“Oh, we're all good,” he says, and I can practically see his carefree shrug. The thought makes me laugh a little. “Just the usual from us.”

I shift slightly, settling in to chat aimlessly with him for a bit. This is just what I need for a pick-me-up, and I don't have anything else to do for tonight, so I can keep him on the phone as long as I want. If Mom and Dad are home, I'll be able to talk to them, too.

“Haven’t heard from you in a while. I wanted to see if you were planning on coming home for the holidays,” he says. “Mom’s already planning a whole big thing, you know how she is.”

“Already?” I ask, laughing. “She’s still got weeks before Thanksgiving, much less Christmas.”

“Trust me, I know,” Bo snorts.

I hum uncertainly, rolling over so I can set my bag on my nightstand.

“I’m not sure. I mean, winter break is coming up soon with school, but I still have work,” I say. “I haven’t talked to anyone about taking time off.”

Right now taking time off sounds heavenly. Maybe a few weeks back home would even be a good reset. I’d be able to come back fresh and forget all about what happened with Shane. If we could go back to our usual easy jokes and teamwork, it would be a flat out miracle.

“Oh, uh, ok,” Bo says, sounding surprised. “I figured you’d have made plans already.”

My brow creases in confusion, and I laugh awkwardly. Bo’s never been good at being subtle, and it’s pretty obvious in his voice that something must have happened. Did I miss a text along the line? I haven’t been great at checking my phone the last few weeks, too wrapped up in my own head.

“Oh, come on,” I joke, “I’m not that bad. Why would I have plans made more than a month out?”

He pauses, the silence stretching out between us. Shit, did I miss some big thing that happened? I’m getting ready to pull my phone away from my ear so I can put him on speaker and scroll through my texts when he finally answers me.

“Didn’t you see Jamie?” he asks, shocking me into total stillness. “I guess I just assumed y’all had made plans.”

My vision goes blurry for a long moment, and I blink rapidly at the closet door across from me. I can feel a strange, detached tingling in my fingers, like I’m not quite actually in my body.

Is this some weird, fucked up dream? Why is Bo, of all people, bringing up Jamie Walker?

“Jamie?” I ask, my voice strained.

“Yeah?” he asks, sounding totally confused.

“Why would I have seen Jamie?”

I try to keep my voice steady, but it’s shaking as awfully as my hands are. Just the thought of seeing him is enough to make it feel like my whole world is tilting, and I laugh bitterly. I’m pathetic, aren’t I?

I push up from my bed, annoyance sending a burst of energy through me as I wait for Bo to answer. He’s hesitating, which he never does, and it’s making me jittery.

“He went to see you, Oaks,” Bo says slowly. “I gave him Kathy and Ricky’s address. He went to New York to apologize.”

Shock rocks through me in one sharp burst, and I stop in my tracks. My jaw drops. My brows raise. A bark of disbelieving, furious laughter forces its way from my throat.

What the fuck?

What the fuck ?

I don't know what Bo is on, but I'm tempted to ask him if he has some to spare.

Jamie didn't come to see me. The asshole hasn't stepped foot in New York. He doesn't care . Not about me, not about us, not about anything but the fucking circuit and keeping his dad happy with him.

He gave me up.

“What?”

My voice sounds gravelly, even to my own ears. I'm torn between fury and hope and disbelief, the idea of seeing Jamie outside the penthouse, ready to apologize, making my knees go weak.

“You haven't seen him, then?” Bo asks after a long stretch of silence.

“No,” I scoff.

I stumble my way back to my bed, sitting down heavily. I’m frustrated and confused and so, so angry at the small part of me that's hopeful.

Bo sighs, cautious and worried. I can hear in his voice that he doesn't want to upset me, but I can't focus on that right now.

“Look, he was telling you the truth about Savannah,” he says, and I grit my teeth harshly at her name. “He's been a mess since you left, Oaks. He's been on the circuit trying to get enough money together to go see you and apologize in person. Maybe something came up before he could come see you. He was supposed to be there on the fifth?—”

“I have to go,” I say, talking over Bo.

Knowing I can’t listen to any more of this, I don't wait for his response, hanging up and dropping my hand to my side. I can't do anything but stare at the wall in front of me in shock. The fifth was when I was with Shane.

I'm shaking.

I nearly drop my phone as I fumble to pull up Jamie’s contact. It’s been so long since I’ve looked at it, and the contact picture I have saved for him makes my heart break all over again. He’s smiling in it, carefree and excited, and I miss him so much I can barely breathe

Did he actually come to see me? If Jamie came to see me and I was out on a fucking date , I don’t know how I’ll ever forgive myself.

I press call and hold my phone to my ear, clutching at it tightly as I wait for the dial tone to sound.

The call goes straight to voicemail.

I have no idea what I’d even say, so I hang up before I can hear the recorded message. I don’t know what I expected.

A sob tears free from my throat, and toss my phone to the side so I can dig my nails into my own palms. I wanted to forget about all of this, to move on with my life and carve a new path for myself. Why does it feel like my past is dragging me backward? I just want to move on, and I can’t even do that.

There’s a soft knock at my door a few moments later, but I don’t respond. I can’t do anything but cry right now.

The door creaks open slowly, my aunt’s head peeking around the corner. As soon as she sees the state I’m in, she abandons her hesitance and rushes in. She sits down on the bed next to me, and I crumple against her side, wrapping my arm around her waist as she pets through my hair soothingly. I can’t really hear her as she whispers calming nonsense, but it works nonetheless.

It takes a while for me to calm down, but I eventually manage to slow my breathing back to something reasonable.

“What’s going on, honey?” she asks quietly.

I suck in a shuddering breath, my mind racing. Where do I even start?

“Bo just called.” My voice is watery and I sound so fragile that it almost scares me. “He asked if I was coming home for the holidays.”

Aunt Kathy doesn’t stop petting through my hair, but I can feel the confusion in the way she shifts against me.

“He said Jamie came to visit me,” I continue, the words tearing out of me painfully. “I never saw him. I was on a date with Shane the night he was supposed to be here, and I don’t even know if he actually came or not. I don’t know what to do, and I miss him so much, and I just?—”

She cuts me off, shushing me gently. I force air into my lungs, trying to keep myself from dissolving into tears again.

“I made everything awkward with Shane because I’m not over Jamie,” I say miserably. “I don’t know how to fix any of it.”

My aunt draws in a slow, even breath, and I find myself unconsciously mirroring the action. She doesn’t ask for clarification, which I’m grateful for. I don’t think I could figure out how to say anything more clearly in the state I’m in right now.

“Do you want to go home for the holidays?” she asks. “A break in school is coming up soon. I could talk to your uncle and get you some time off, and we can book you a ticket home right now if you want.”

Relief slams into me at the thought of going home, which is all the answer I need.

“I don’t want special treatment,” I argue weakly.

“You’re my niece,” she reminds me, laughing quietly. “You’re getting special treatment whether you like it or not. Besides, half of the interns go home over the holidays. It wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for you to take a break, too.”

I still hesitate, feeling guilty about wanting to say yes. I signed up for this—I want this—and I shouldn’t just run away when things get hard. But if both Alli and my aunt are telling me to be gentle with myself, maybe it’s not as ridiculous as it feels.

“If things are awkward with Shane, I can talk to your uncle about moving him to a different department,” she adds.

“No,” I say firmly, shaking my head. “He didn’t do anything wrong. If I’m still uncomfortable when I get back after the holidays, I’ll talk to Uncle Ricky about finding another partner.”

My eyes are finally dry enough that I can see pride shining in my aunt’s eyes, and she leans down to press a kiss to the top of my head.

“So should we go look at flights, then?” she asks, grinning warmly at me.

I manage a passable imitation of a laugh, straightening up so I can wipe my face free of my tears.

“I should talk to Uncle Ricky before I book anything,” I say. “I don’t want to cause problems at the office.”

Aunt Kathy stands, holding her hand out to me and smiling. There’s mischief and adoration in her eyes, and I let her pull me up off the bed to stand on slightly unsteady legs.

“Your uncle will figure things out,” she promises. “You don’t need to worry about work right now. Come on, let’s go take a look. You don’t have to book anything right now, but we can at least see what’s available, right?”

I chuckle, knowing that she’ll talk me into booking something tonight anyway. Before she can lead me out of the room, I pull her into a hug, whispering my gratitude into her shoulder. She rubs down my back soothingly, squeezing me tight.

“I’ll always take care of you, Oakie,” she says. “That’s what I’m here for.”