Royal Havoc

2. Funeral

two

Funeral

Onyx: 2024

R aindrops tap, landing on the dried leaves hanging from the trees. The white noise helps to settle the chattering inside my head. I take Nolan’s offered hand as the wind blows my long, dark curls, obstructing my vision.

I pause, surveying the backdrop to a scene that broke a piece of me years ago. “This place seemed bigger when I was a kid,” I tell him.

Tugging on my hand. “We need to go. They’re waiting on us,” he reminds me, urging me to move.

Our steps scrape over the cheap green rug covering the uneven ground, ushering us through the rows of weathered granite and marble - the sound grating on my frayed nerves.

At the top of the little hill, I notice the pop-up canopy sheltering the crowd huddling together in the distance. Unfamiliar eyes watch our steps, casting their opinions into the void to be discussed later in hushed voices among strangers.

I notice two metal folding chairs covered with black fuzzy seat covers waiting for us beside… him . Nolan notices me tense and quickly steps around me to fill the seat between us, acting as a buffer.

I find the preacher watching us settle uncomfortably into our saved spots. He offers a weak smile before stepping behind the rose-gold casket covered in purple tulips - both her favorites.

Within seconds, he thanks everyone for joining us and begins reciting the “Lord's Prayer.” Hushed voices float on the wind surrounding us as they join in, whispering along.

A sensation scratches at my skin as I desperately try to avoid what’s in front of me. I allow my tired eyes to roam over strange faces, freely studying the crowd around us. Silver eyes capture mine, wrapping me in the sticky web he’s weaved. His head tilts, and it’s as though he’s searching for answers without questions.

A man coughs, dousing our connection like water on a flame, severing his hold on me. I blink rapidly, remembering the reality I’ve forced myself to avoid, submerging my lungs until I flounder to take in air.

Anxiety awakens, filling my pores until static crackles over my skin, igniting the tingling I fear the most. My eyes fall to the ground as I work to calm the chaos swarming inside me. Reality fades, and I’m hypnotized by the darkness hovering below her casket. The dark hole sitting, waiting to take her away from me forever.

I’m lost, spiraling towards nothing and everything all at once. Fear of the panic attack hovering close, waiting to consume me until I’m lost in my own head. Chills cascade down my spine, instinct kicking in, screaming at me to search for shadows hidden in the trees.

Time lapses without me knowing as strangers begin to pass, whispering their condolences. But I’m too lost in my own version of insanity to care. Tears produced from the fear entwine with panic, distorting the purple blobs that appear under my hanging head, making them unrecognizable. I rush to blink, swiping at my tear-streaked cheeks, finally able to focus on the tulips.

Without looking, I know it’s him, silver eyes cast over me. Refusing to meet his stare, I train my eyes on his hand and begin tracing the black-intricate ink between his first finger and thumb.

Does that mean…

“Onyx,” Nolan whispers, drawing my attention.

I’m met by dark, worried eyes, nodding at me to take the offered gift from the intruder I know has stolen them from her casket. We share a brief moment before I give in and acknowledge the one standing in front of me. Although, I still refuse to meet his eyes.

His hand flexes impatiently around the stems as I reach to accept his stolen gift. From thin air, a woman’s hand appears, resting on his lower back, provoking an odd emotion I can’t place to stir inside me.

“We were so sorry to hear about your loss,” she whispers sincerely as she forces him to move.

My inquiring mind wins, causing me to give in to my craving as I turn to get one last sneak peek of him. Unfortunately, I’m too slow, and they’ve already disappeared into the crowd.

“It’s time for us to say our goodbyes,” Nolan tells me softly.

Tears build, a lump forming in my throat as he helps me walk the few steps on shaky legs.

After placing the stolen flowers back where they belong, I rest my hand on top of the cold metal. “Sorry, you got stuck with me. I swear if you come back, I’ll do better. Be better,” I sniff, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. “I don’t want you to leave me. You might have hated me, but you stayed. You weren’t the one that threw me away.”

Against my will, tears leak from my swollen eyes, dripping from my chin. Nolan stands beside me, softly whispering his goodbyes while I struggle to gain my composure. Words she used to tell me, echoing in my ears, “Emotions show weakness.”

When he finishes, I rest my aching head against his arm. “Are they gone?” I ask quietly.

He turns to face me. “No,” he answers simply.

We turn together, the wind gusting, rattling the canvas draped over our heads as raindrops slice at my skin like tiny shards of glass. The crowd disperses, huddling under umbrellas lining the green rug leading us away from my family’s grave site.

We’ve barely made it a few steps when silver eyes find mine, seeking me out, demanding my full attention. Nolan tugs my hand to keep us moving. I hear him following us, his steps scraping behind ours, my conscience yelling its disapproval.

The crowd still lining the rug dwindles as we approach the car. “She’s mine,” his voice growls behind us.

“Not the time,” Nolan calls over his shoulder, tightening his grip on my arm as he pulls me behind him the last few steps.

“I warned you at the hospital.”

I stop abruptly beside the car, my head snapping from Nolan to his obnoxious face, my eyes wide. “You were there?”

“Get in the car, Onyx,” Nolan orders, yanking open the passenger door, then waits until I’m safely tucked inside before he marches away.

Nolan stops inches away from his face, seeming unbothered by his scowl. It appears they’re arguing, but I can’t make out what’s being said.

Both of them seem pissed.

Nolan suddenly spins, charging back to the car, fists balled at his sides.

“See you soon, Onyx.” The jackass grins, making sure I hear him when Nolan opens his door.

“What did he say?” I hiss at the side of Nolan’s face as soon as his ass hits the seat next to me. “You lied. You said no one came to the hosp —”

“I know what I said,” he grumbles, throwing gravel as he pulls from the small lot. “You had more important things to be worrying about rather than some punk ,” he grits, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white.

“What did he say?” I hiss, repeating my first question, trying to keep my anger in check.

“You’re about to see your da —”

“Don’t fucking say it!” I yell, rattling my ears in the small space. My fragile nerves worn thin.

He sighs loudly, “You’re about to see Hendrix for the first time in thirteen years. We should focus on that instead of a worthless punk,” he explains, surprisingly calm, considering the way he’s still choking the steering wheel.

It’s my turn to sigh loudly, forcing out the anxiety that hearing his name ignites. “Don’t remind me. Actually, I change my mind. Fuck it, just take me to the hotel instead.”

“No hotels. You can do this. It’s only three months,” he offers supportively.

“Three looong months,” I correct, trying not to pout.

“Listen, I’m being serious, Onyx. Don’t mess this up. New town. New school. New kids. Trust me, this little town is nothing like the big city. Your name alone puts a huge target on your back,” he warns.

Crossing my arms defensively. “You’ve already lectured me on being a good girl,” I mumble.

For the remainder of the drive, we sit in silence, me hating the impending doom lingering around every turn, bringing us closer to the place I said I’d never go again.

We both stare at the pile of bricks at the end of the drive.

“Call me if you need anything,” he says, breaking the awkward silence hovering over us in the idling car. We finally get out, and he helps me with my bag before surprising me with a quick hug. “Don’t lose yourself.”

Watching him pull from the drive is a feeling I never expected to have. Solitude? Complete loneliness? Coming to the realization that you’re absolutely alone in the world is a staggering emotion.