Chapter 17
17
Dash
Archie:
I need ur address.
I look at the text message for a long time, wondering whether I should respond. We agreed to a clean break, no contact, but daaamn I want to write back to him. I’m burning with curiosity over why he needs my address. It’s been the longest two weeks to ever exist, and this is the message I get out of the blue.
Does he want to send me something? A thrill shoots through me over the most likely outcome. Unless it’s some kind of restraining order, wanting my address has to mean gifts, right? What would someone like Archie think to send someone like me? I’m insanely curious to see if it’s something dumb and stupidly expensive that I’d hate or if he actually knows me. Would he put thought into it? What would he come up with?
I tug at my hair and glare at my phone screen, restless with my lack of a decision.
We agreed to a clean break . I want to say it’s been good for me, but it hasn’t. I’ve moped around the house and been snappy with everyone. The only time I’m not thinking about him is when I’m busting my ass at this stupid internship.
I can’t even escape him in my sleep.
You know what, screw it. Maybe this can be my test for him.
If his gift is something he thinks will impress me because of the price tag, he’s not the guy for me.
If it’s something he actually puts thought into … well, then I’m fucked.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I reply with my address.
It’s torture not to keep checking my phone all day, but either Archie is regretting asking, or he’s gone back to respecting the whole no-contact thing. Either way, I don’t hear from him, and apparently, it doesn’t matter how moodily I stare at my phone, it doesn’t change things.
“Dash, honey, visitor!”
I groan as Mom’s voice filters up to me. A few of my high school friends are still in the area, but I’m way too irritable to be company today. Mom couldn’t have made up an excuse for me, could she?
I sigh, not bothering to change out of my stale shirt, and leave my room, hoping I look sick enough to be able to beg off hanging out today.
Only when I thunder down the stairs and glimpse who’s at the door, I suddenly wish I could have a redo of the last three minutes of my life.
“Archie?”
His smile makes my heart stop. “Umm, hey. I probably should have called first, but I didn’t give myself time to stop and think about the details.”
Yep, I’m fucked.
Sure, it probably cost a lot of money for him to be here, but the fact I get Archie, in real life, and not some stupid gift is doing things to my heart I didn’t think was possible.
I launch myself into his arms. “You idiot. What are you doing here?”
His arms wrap around my waist, and his nose buries into that spot between my neck and my shoulder. My gut soars at the contact, and it’s painful to have to anchor it back to earth again.
“I needed to see you.”
I pull away from him. “Do I need to explain a break to you again?”
He glances around and then leans in. “Is there somewhere we can talk?”
“Yeah, of course.” I take his hand and pull him inside, pushing the front door closed behind us, and then lead the way upstairs.
“Your house is cute.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m being serious.”
“I know you are. That’s why I said to shut up.” We reach my bedroom, and I shove him inside, then can’t stop myself from grabbing him and tugging him into a kiss. “You shouldn’t be here.”
Archie cups my face, smiling bigger than I’ve ever seen him. “I had to see you.”
“Again … break.”
He shakes his head roughly. “I don’t want to be on a break. I don’t want to break from you ever again.”
“Arch—”
“I told my dad.”
“What?”
He lets out a nervous laugh. “Lizzie was there, and they were pressuring me with a ring, and then she said she didn’t want to marry me either but can’t say no because of who my family is. And I thought about you and how if I let this end without giving it a real shot, I’m going to be miserable for the rest of my life. You’re the kind of guy I’ll hunt down in the phonebook in twenty years’ time and call just to hear him breathe. Probably find out where you work so I can walk by, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. I’ll dream about you and daydream about you and regret, every day for the rest of my life, that I didn’t at least try. I love you, Dash. I wasn’t lying about that. And I realized I can live and be happy if my father walks away from me. I can’t live and be happy without you.”
My jaw is opening uselessly as I stare at him, trying to process and let the words sink in. “You told him?”
His eyes crinkle the way I love. “That’s what you got from all that?”
“It’s a pretty big bomb to drop on a guy and expect him to be paying attention afterward.” Still, the rest of his words sink into my consciousness. He still loves me. He wants to try. “So, if you’ve told your dad …”
“I have no reason to hide anymore. I mean, obviously, we still need to be careful, and I won’t be shouting it all over campus, but there are gay couples at our school. I’ve seen them. We could be one of them.”
I throw myself at him, kissing him so deeply I never want to let go. My heart is full for Archie, for me too. The level of bravery he would have had to show to tell his dad is more than I’d ever have in a lifetime. If he wants to try, I’ll try right alongside him. Archie Levine isn’t the kind of guy you give up in a hurry.
“I am so proud of you,” I tell him.
“Does that mean we can put an end to the breakup?”
It’s the lightest I’ve ever felt in my life. “Immediately. Let’s pretend it never happened. I … I still can’t believe this. How did he take it?”
“Horribly.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.” He shrugs. “He can’t claim to love me if it’s only on his terms. You love me on mine, and you always have. Even breaking up, you did that for me—I’ve never had anyone put me first. Not like you. Whether we make it to forever or not, I’ll never regret telling him. I’ll never regret you.”
I walk him backward until he lands on my bed. “We’re gonna make it to forever, Levine. You have a jealous streak, and I kinda like to win. We’ll do it. I know we will.”
His hands find my hips, and he grins up at me as I drag a hand through his curls. “You’re telling me I’m the only man who’ll ever get to touch you again?”
“The only one.” Feeling wicked, I add, “Unless you’re into sharing.”
His face twists, and he lets out a huff like an angry bull. “I will never share you.”
“What about my dick?”
His fingers tighten.
“My ass?”
His jaw clenches.
“My mouth, then.”
Archie grabs me and flips me so I’m under him on the bed. “You’re mine. Your dick, your ass, your mouth. Last time, we were pretending, but this is for real. I want you. All of you. I’m not pretending anymore.”
“Good.” I cup his face. “I like this reality so much better.”
We spend a few minutes making out while I try to wrap my head around this being it for us. We’ve agreed to forever. I’m prepared to put in the work. My heart has never felt so full and right. I rut my hardening dick against his leg.
“Nope.” He climbs off me, even as I try to pull him back down. “I haven’t met your mother yet. We’re not having sex under her roof.”
“Ah. So, you want to look her in the eye before you fuck her son. Got it.”
He groans and pulls me to my feet. “And there you go guaranteeing I can never have sex with you under her roof, ever.”
“I hope you have money for lots of seedy hotel rooms.”
“Without Daddy’s money, I’ll be tight for a while, but I will always, always give you what you need.”
I light up, but before I can say “orgasm,” he cuts me off.
“And no, you don’t need to come right now. You need to introduce me to your mother as your boyfriend. Then we need to make plans.”
“So he really cut you off, then?”
“I have no idea, but I’m not going to wait around for him to.”
“We have a spare room.”
He looks vulnerable as he brushes my hair back. “You think your mother would mind?”
“Okay, no more ‘mother.’ It’s Judy. You’ll make her feel old. And she’s basically the coolest mom you’ll meet. She’d let you stay in my room if I asked.”
“We’re not going to ask that.”
I sigh. “Fine. But only because you’ve had a long day. Tomorrow is another story.”
“Tomorrow.” Archie lets out a long exhale. “I like the sound of that.”
“Tomorrow. Next week. Next year. Always. I’m going to give it all to you.”
Like every bit of tension he’s ever held melts out of him, Archie folds his body into mine. I mean every goddamn word too.
Archie Levine is the only future I want.