Chapter 18
18
Dash
I’d love to say senior year is a breeze, but no. It’s a fucked-up mess of homophobic frat boys, guys trying to hit on my man, and intrusive questions about how I turned Archibald Levine the Third gay.
I’ve never been so happy to reach graduation or so proud that Archie had to go and beat out my “cum laude” with a “summa cum laude.” As far as I’m concerned, both those titles contain the word cum , and that’s one of the best memories of our relationship.
Did I call him the cum lord for the rest of the day? Yes, I did. Did he prove my point that night? Many, many times.
I haul the last of our boxes into a New York City apartment, borderline terrified that this city is going to bankrupt me. Sure, this place was always earmarked for Archie and law school, but I was never supposed to be part of that equation. The fact his dad still sent him the keys to move in has me suspicious, but I’m not too proud to say no to a free space in New York. Especially with a view like this.
“That’s your worried face,” Archie says from where he’s unpacking the kitchen with way more dinner settings than we have friends.
I gently kick the side of the box with a thunk thunk thunk as I worry over whether to bring it up. We’ve never held back with each other before though, so I’m not about to start now.
“What if your dad says he doesn’t want me living here? You didn’t tell him I’d be moving in with you, and let’s face it, if he kicks me out, I can’t afford a place in New York. I’ll have to move back home and?—”
Archie approaches, hands finding my upper arms, where he gives me a reassuring squeeze. “Where you go, I go. Simple as that.”
“But—”
“No.” He pulls me closer, and it’s easy to be confident when he is. “We struggled through school. We’ve had a hard start to our life together, but that’s not going to be a common theme here. All it comes down to is the simple fact that I love you. If Father tries to be high-handed, he’ll be down one lawyer son, and I’ll have no regrets about walking away from it all. My life doesn’t mean anything without you.”
“Anyone ever told you that you’re kinda intense?”
He laughs and presses his forehead to mine. “You. Daily.”
“Good. Just testing your mental state. It passed, so I’m going to hold you to that. If your dad kicks us out, we’ll be on the street together.”
“I have too much money for that to ever happen, but we’ll definitely be putting New York behind us. Until then …” He turns me in his arms to look out at the skyscrapers around us. “Welcome to your new life, Dash Lewis.”
I wrap my arms tighter over where his are holding me. “I know we’ll never be able to get married, but what … have you ever thought about kids?”
“I have many thoughts about children.”
“Well, would you want one?”
He’s quiet for a moment. “With you?”
I almost roll my eyes. “Obviously, you can’t impregnate me—and thank fuck for that with how obsessed you are with filling me with your cum—but like, there are options, aren’t there?”
“Are there?”
“Well, adopting. Or fostering. Surrogacy.”
He does that quiet thing again. “You want that?”
“Only if you do. I’m in this. We’re forever. That’s never going to change for me, and adding a kid to our lives sounds amazing.”
“And once it’s here, who would look after it?”
“Either of us.” I turn away from the view to look at the most incredible man I’ve ever known. His eyes are more blue today because of the watery cloud cover outside. “It could take forever for us to make it happen, but if it happens early and you’re in law school, I will. If it’s later and you have good benefits, then you can. The logistics are the unimportant part. If you want one is the important part.”
“Would you be happy with me if my answer was no?”
“Of course. You’re my everything, but …” My lips hitch with the image of a little Archie running around. “I think it would be an amazing bonus.”
“Yes.”
“Really?” I don’t even try to hide my disbelief.
“Why is that surprising to you?”
“Because you’re a controlling neat freak? Because you like schedules for your life and no schedules for our sex life. A kid would mess all that up.”
“I …” Something changes behind his eyes. “I want that as soon as possible.”
“You’re sure?”
His small laugh buoys me. “No. I’m not sure. I’m terrified, but we’re doing it anyway. Because whenever I do things scared is when the best things happen.”
“You’re a romantic one, Levine.”
“And you’re still a scoundrel. Tempting me into everything I didn’t know I could hope for.”
“I’ll make it my aim to terrify you for the rest of our lives.”
Archie’s forehead kisses mine. “It’s terrifying enough to know you won’t even have to try.”