Epilogue
Archie
Twenty-one years later
I’ve never been as at war with my emotions as I am right now. I’ve always known this moment was coming, always known it was for the best, but it doesn’t mean I’m any happier about us being here.
I’d thought we had more time.
“Stop, Dad,” Charles says, blinking back the same tears I am.
“I can’t help it. You were supposed to stay our baby.”
Dash wraps a comforting arm around my waist. “What he means to say is that we’re proud of you, and we’ll always be here for anything.”
Our son smiles and pulls us both into a hug. Campus is full around us, and I’m glad Charles was never one of those kids embarrassed over hugging his parents. God, it just makes this harder.
If he’d picked a New York school, he could have stayed at home with us, and while West Haven U isn’t far, it’s far enough that he can’t commute there and back every day.
I squeeze him tighter for a moment before I have to let him go.
“You’re gonna have the best time,” Dash tells him. “College is meant for fun, flirting, and friends. Remember that.”
“But not at the expense of your degree,” I hurry to add, making Dash smirk at me.
“Yes, yes, education is important, but that isn’t the part you need reminding about.”
Charles is patient as he says, “I’m rushing Kappa. I’ll be fine.”
“ Kappa ?”
The three of us turn toward the voice. A guy, clearly a freshman and carrying a huge duffel bag, pauses by us.
“You’re not rushing Rho Kappa Tau, are you?”
Charles shifts. “Ah, yeah?”
“Oooh, we’re going to be rivals. Sigma Beta Psi, baby.”
My son laughs and holds out his hand. “Charles. Maybe we can try not to hate each other too much.”
“I can’t make that promise.” But the guy shakes Charles’s hand anyway. “Zeke.”
“Nice to meet you.”
They let go after a painfully long handshake, and this punk backs up a step, then two. His lips hitch upward on one side as his eyes sweep over Charles in a way that has my alarm bells ringing. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
He leaves, and my son’s face is a whole lot redder than it was before. Fuck me. I barely want him moving on campus, let alone dating .
“You’ve got everything?” Dash asks, completely oblivious to our son being fully grown.
“Sure do.” He glances over his shoulder toward the dorm. “I should probably go.”
I pull him into another hug before he can stop me. “College is going to be amazing.”
“I know.” He’s smiling when he pulls back. “Everything will be fine. Relax.”
Then our son grabs his bag, sends a quick wave our way, and hurries off.
I’m watching long after he leaves.
“Are you going to start crying on me?” Dash asks.
“Not sure yet.”
“We knew this was coming, and Charles is a smart kid. We got super lucky with him.”
“We did. He’s the best.”
Dash wraps his arm around me again and props his chin on my shoulder. It’s been amazing to see the progress for queer people over the years, and the reality that we can stand here like this and no one looks twice is the most freeing kind of relief.
Charles will never have to worry about keeping himself hidden.
Speaking of …
“Did you see the way that … Zach kid looked at Charles?”
“What do you mean?” The amusement in his tone tells me he knows exactly what I mean.
“You saw it.”
“The blatant checkout and how our son went red as a tomato.”
I scowl. “Sometimes I wish he’d inherited your genes. The blushing is the worst.”
“I dunno.” Dash drags a finger down my cheek. “It’s a fun game to see how red I can make you go.”
I cringe. “I don’t want to think about that becoming a fun game for our son.”
He roars with laughter. “It’s college. I remember exactly what I was doing at college, and let me tell you, he’s going to have his fun.”
Not able to shake the melancholy, I turn to my husband. “It feels like it all went so fast. One minute, he was a baby, and now he’s here.”
“I’d never give up being a father for anything, but you have to admit it’ll be nice to just be us again. We only had a few years together before having him.”
“I’m going to miss him.”
“So will I. Badly. But I’m happy for him getting to lead his own life now.”
I take Dash’s hand, and we start our walk back to the car.
“Remember the first time we ever talked?” he asks. “You hunted me down in a hallway in a jealous rage.”
“There was no jealous rage.”
“In my memories, you came in, beating your chest, then threw me over your shoulder and carried me back to your sex dungeon.”
I sigh, used to my husband’s ridiculous antics and loving that part of him has never changed. “What happened next?”
“You had your filthy way with me and then chained me to your bed. Wouldn’t let me go for weeks, and when you finally did, you got all possessive and shit. Understandable—my ass is gold.” He lifts his left hand, gold band catching the sun. “Now, somehow, I’m locked up for good. A complete sex slave to my heathen husband.”
I slap my hand over his mouth. “Dear god, stop talking.”
“Ah, but there’s that blush I love so much.”
And like that, he’s completely distracted me from my sadness at saying goodbye to Charles. I hope this part never changes: the way Dash is so playful and loving. How he always knows what I need.
We had a rocky few years with my father, but after Mom died, he came crawling back into our lives. Some days, I think he’s trying to relive our relationship through Charles. It doesn’t bother me much anymore, but I am glad our son gets to have that relationship with his family.
Even if I missed out.
And through it all, I’ve done everything I can to lighten my son’s pressure and hope he never has to live his life for someone else the way I did.
Dash was always the fun parent, and seeing him with Charles only made me love him more.
I tug him to a stop. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He cocks his head. “But why?”
“There was a lot of bullshit when we started out. Then there was a lot of bullshit after I came out. Then when we had Charles. And still, things aren’t always easy. But you’ve supported me every single step of the way.”
I get one of his rare, soft smiles. “How could I not? Before I even knew you, I knew you were special. We fought for our life together because we knew it was worth it.”
Dash is worth every fight. Always. For the first time ever, I feel positive about a new stage of our life beginning.
Because Dash has proved he’ll be there for it all.
And I’ll love him just as completely through everything.
***
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