Ruckus (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #3)

Chapter 27

I keep trying Freya on the cell I got her last week, but she’s not picking up. Last night when I went to her room she wouldn’t even answer the door to me. She just yelled and told me to go away.

I spent my night in the room three doors down from hers and barely got any sleep. Now, staring up at her window from the yard, I’m seriously considering going back up there and pounding on her door again.

I shouldn’t have lost my temper the way I did when she told me she knew about the plan. But today’s important. We need to get through it without a hitch. Bury our brother, get our vengeance, and then I can talk to Wrath.

No more secrets and lies.

“Is she still not talkin’ to ya?” Cam has a cigarette hanging outta the side of his mouth while he shines his boots.

“I was kinda off with her last night,” I admit. I can’t be mad at Cam for being the one who let it slip. All charters run differently, and there ain’t many old ladies in Arizona for his members to be worried about telling their business to.

“Yeah, well, you guys never saw eye to eye at the best of times.” He laughs, standing up and adjusting the tie I’m wearing. I wouldn’t be wearing the damn thing in the first place if Freya hadn’t convinced me to buy one for the fuckin’ occasion.

“Wrath put me in charge of lookin’ after her, and I can’t even get her to come out her damn room.” I play it down to him when I realize that I’m acting more like a concerned boyfriend than a guy with a job to do.

“I’m surprised Wrath wants her to even be here with all the shit you guys got goin’ on,” Cam points out, and it hurts to admit but he’s got a point.

I guess you can expect to hear sense from a man who got his ass outta Long Beach, and earned himself a president seat before he reached thirty.

“She’s safe here, I wouldn’t let anythin’ happen to her,” I assure him.

I overreacted last night, and let jealousy take over. I’m going to have to learn to deal with it better. Freya’s a fun person to be around, she’s always gonna have friends, sometimes male ones. Like Cam, and Josh, who’s proven he ain’t going nowhere by becoming a fuckin’ prospect.

“I remember from back in my prospecting days how hard she can be. You're a real good friend, Ruck. The kind that's hard to come by.” He slaps my shoulder before he heads inside and leaves me feeling like a fraud.

I’m relieved to see Freya in the yard an hour later when me, Vike, Dev, Sasquatch, Saint and Wrath step out of the clubhouse carrying Saul’s casket on our shoulders. The hearse is waiting in the parking lot and the girls stand beside Freya comforting her while she cries, then follow behind us. Vike is barely holding it together as we load our brother for his final journey and take our saddles. I feel a sting in my chest when Eden and Payton climb on the back of Wrath and Raze’s bikes. Freya should be on the back of mine, but instead she looks across at me, smiles a little sadly, then gets into the car with Freya.

I have to tell myself that after today things will be different. She will be riding on my saddle, everyone here will know she’s mine and eventually she’ll let me in to that maze of secrets she keeps inside her head.

Saul’s funeral went as well as a funeral can go. There were plenty of tears and not all of ‘em came from the girls. There was no sign of Saul’s parents, or the girl who he loved, which I know Alicia was sad about. Now that we're back at the clubhouse, the mourning is done, and it’s time for justice. But not before the shit hits the fan…

“No.” We all hear Payton yell at Raze even though he and Wrath have taken they’re girls into his office to break the news.

Jessie looks at me and smiles.

“There’s a reason I left my old lady at home.” His arms fold across his chest as we watch through the glass window. Eden is throwing her arms up in protest, and when Raze sees they’ve got an audience, and rips down the blind to shut us all out. I decide now is the perfect time to make another attempt at speaking to Freya. She’s purposely made sure she’s surrounded by people ever since she came out of her room to make it hard for me.

“Polly, Anita, can I have a word with Freya.” I head over to the corner where they’re all sitting.

“You can stay here, this will only be quick.” Freya gets up and heads out onto the balcony without looking at me, and I growl and count to ten before I follow her out. Even out here is packed with people, so she takes the stairs down onto the beach and we start to walk away from the club.

“How’s Alicia holding up?” I ease us into a conversation, knowing that at some point I’m going to have to apologize.

“You could ask her that yourself?” She shrugs, refusing to look up from the sand.

“Freya I…”

“Where did you go last night after you stormed out?” she interrupts me.

“I get that I overreacted, and I know there's nothing between you and Cam, I just seem to get jealous real easily and when I found out you knew about today I panicked because it was so important that we keep it secret.”

“I don’t understand why it’s so important. You don’t usually keep stuff like this from them, do you?”

“No we don’t, but this time it had to be different.” I just need to accept that for a few more hours, then everything will be clear.

“You’re not giving me any answers, Ruckus.” She chooses now to look up at me and I can see how impatient she’s getting.

“You don’t give me answers either, Freya. I know something haunts you, I hear you in your sleep. If your dad ever?—”

“My dad never touched me, he wouldn’t have. He was sick, and cruel but he wasn’t?—”

“Then tell me, what is it that still scares you, even when you're lying next to me? Help me understand.” I want to grab her and shake her, I hate that she still has doubts that I can protect her. I hate even more that I don’t know what she needs protecting from.

“Did you go to the lifeguard tower last night?” She changes the subject again, infuriating me so much that I have to scrub my hand over my face and take a second to.

“Freya.” I reach for her hand, because I hate that we’ve been so distant from each other since last night. It’s been an amazing two weeks, but now she seems to have a shield in place and I can feel her slipping away from me.

“Did you go to the tower, yes or no?” She pulls back.

“Yeah?” I stare at her, wondering how she knows about that.

“That’s all I needed to know,” she whispers, shaking her head and looking disappointed. “Be careful out there, Ruckus.” She turns around and races back toward the clubhouse steps and just as I’m about to start chasing after her, I hear my name called from the balcony.

“Ruck, come on, we’re movin’ out.” Wrath looks confused as his sister barges past him and heads back inside.

“What’s with her?” he asks once I get to the top of the stairs.

“Someone had to break the news that her big brother was going to war today.” I lie to him, again feeling all kinds of frustration as we head through the clubhouse toward our bikes. Eden and Peyton both kiss their men goodbye at the arch, and when Freya comes storming through it and stands in front of Raze, it looks as if she’s about to punch him.

“You took my phone, give it back to me.” She yells.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.” Raze shakes his head solemnly.

“I have to speak to Lettie, I have to make sure she and Rory aren’t at that clubhouse. Come on Raze that’s Saul’s son.”

“I promise you no harm will come to them,” he assures her.

“I’m sorry but that's not good enough. Lettie is a good person and if it gets messy, she’ll be caught in the crossfire.”

“If you call her, it’ll alert the other. Lettie and her son are safe. You got my word.”

“And how can you be so sure?” She steps up closer to him and Raze takes a deep breath as he looks toward me and Wrath. We all know the girls ain’t gonna like what they hear next, and if Freya had bothered to come out here and watch us leave, she’d be about to learn why it’s been so important that we kept our plans a secret.

“Have you seen Finn or Rocco since we’ve been back from the cemetery?” Raze asks her.

“I don’t know, I’ve been a little preoccupied since burying my brother.” She gives him more attitude and Raze proves his patience by keeping his calm.

“Well you won’t have seen ‘em, because right now, they are heading back here with Lettie and her kid.”

“What?” Peyton steps forward looking up at Raze in horror.

“Is she coming willingly?” Eden asks her brother, and when he doesn’t answer she steps forward too.

“I asked you a question?”

“Hey babe, don’t speak to him like tha?—”

“Don’t you talk to me.” Eden turns her anger on Wrath when he tries to calm the situation and I swear I ain’t ever seen him back down so fast.

“Darlin’, why don’t you and me take Freya inside and wait for the girl to get here.” Vex takes a turn in trying to defuse things, placing his arm around his daughter’s shoulder.

“Raze, is she coming here willingly?” Eden keeps her eyes on her brother.

“I don’t know.” He speaks up. “But she’s coming here regardless. We all voted, and we’re gonna take care of her and the boy, if that's what she wants. Today we’re taking her out of the firing line and making sure she’s safe. Once that's taken care of she’ll be free to leave if she wants to.” Raze explains, moving past his sister to place a kiss on his old lady's cheek. She stands static at first, but when he starts walking away to saddle his bike, she rushes over to him and kisses him back.

“You better come home to me.” She points her finger at him warningly, before heading back to comfort Freya.

“You too.” Eden is standing in front of Wrath now and I look the other way when she kisses him like they're starring in one of those films she makes costumes for. “Remember I love you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t still be mad when you get home.” She releases him, then turns to look at me. “Take care of him.” She orders, before joining Peyton and Freya, and as I move to my bike I look up past the wall to the second floor balcony and see Freya watching with her arms resting over the railings.

She looks so sad, I wanna run up to her and kiss her goodbye. I want her to tell me to come home too. I look away when Raze starts his engine, and as we all do the same, the noise that fills the yard pumps my blood full with adrenaline. This right here is the shit men like us live for, it’s the reason I joined the club, and what's kept me all this time.

And for the first time in my life I feel fear as I follow my brothers out the gate.

Not a fear of the fight, or of getting hurt, it’s of never seeing her again.