Ruckus (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #3)

Chapter 28

“ T imes like this I wish I wasn’t pregnant. I’d be drinking’ those sons of a bitches, bar dry right now.” Alicia paces the floor of the clubhouse furiously. While all I think about is Ruckus. He didn’t even look sorry when I questioned him about the Lifeguard tower, and it makes me wonder if he meant any of the things he’s been filling my head with for the past two weeks. Am I really different from all the other girls? Did I really expect the Souls biggest player to keep his dick in his pants for little old me? None of it makes sense, but I guess it makes things easier.

I don’t want to go to Arizona with Cam, he may not be as brutal as Chop, but that doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous. How can my dad still be so in control, even after death? I never thought I’d see the day that Cam would frighten me, he was always so gentle and kind. There was a time I thought he’d never make the cut because of it. Now, he scares me, just like Chop and my Father used to.

But the thought of everyone here knowing the truth about me, scares me so much more.

“Lettie!” Alicia rushes to the door when it opens and a girl with long dark hair, carrying a baby in her arms gets guided inside by Finn. “My God, are you both okay?” She hugs them both tight then looks at Finn furiously. “You better have treated them with respect.” She scowls.

“What do ya take me for? Of course I did.” He shakes his head like he’s offended and comes over to take the barstool beside mine. “You heard from the boys yet?” He reaches over and grabs a bottle of whiskey before taking the Stetson off his head and placing it down.

“Nothing.” I shake my head, and focus my attention back on our guest. She’s a pretty girl, I can see why Saul would have put everything at risk for her. But she’s also the daughter of the man who killed my sister. For a split second those thoughts that must have run through Tawk’s head when he went to her house with a gun, run through mine, and I quickly snatch the bottle from Finn’s hand to chase them away.

“Finn was perfectly friendly, they both were.” She looks between him and Rocco with a smile, but still keeps her son tight to her body as Alicia shows her to a chair.

“Lettie, did they explain that no one's gonna hurt you. Raze just wanted to make sure you were safe when the club…” Alicia looks to me to explain when she realizes it probably isn’t what the girl wants to hear.

“The club are about to make your father regret what he did to my sister and Saul,” I tell her without polishing it and it earns me some judgmental looks from the other girls.

“I’m sorry.” Alicia goes to comfort her

“Don’t be sorry. My father had Saul killed, he took my little boy’s dad from him and then he upped and left. I haven’t heard from him since it happened. Far as I’m concerned, when you guys get to him. They can do what they want.” She kisses the top of her baby's head and everyone looks a little deflated when we realize the boys could have left here for a lost cause.

I can’t help feeling sorry for the girl as she rocks her baby in her arms and battles with all the emotions inside of her.

I know how she feels, once I learned who my dad really was and what he did. I wanted someone to kill him too.

Eight Years Ago

“Chop, you know I can’t do that yet?” I hear Dad talking in the kitchen when Cam drops me off after college and I linger by the stairs so I can listen.

“I’m tellin’ ya Cliff, Jimmer is on to me. I need to get out of Colorado, start putting our plan into action.” Chops sounds agitated and despite him giving me the creeps I stay put so I can figure out why he’s here.

“It’s far too soon. And Jimmer ain’t on to you, he’s clever, but he ain’t that clever. I need you in Colorado, you're the only person Verretti trusts, and if we are gonna build and get stronger, we need that connection.” My dad sounds on edge, but he always does when Chop’s around. He’d never admit it, but I get the impression that he’s a little intimidated by him.

“You promised me that I’d be runnin’ my own Charter, You promised me the gi… I ain’t close to having either.” Chop’s voice seems to be getting louder.

“You can’t pin all that on me Chop, you know Jimmer has the last word on who runs his charters, and you don’t exactly make yourself a desirable candidate. I can work on the brothers in Arizona, I can put whispers in Jimmer’s ear, but you gotta do some of the work yourself. Try being more like that brother of yours, everyone seems to like him.”

“And the girl, what about her. She’s of age now, Cliff, and boys are starting to notice her. You promised that ? —”

“Boys have always noticed Freya.” My dad laughs, and hearing my name traps my breath in my throat. That girl they’re talkin’ about is me. “No one's gonna touch her, I got the prospect seeing to that.”

“You mean Cam?” Chop’s laugh sounds wicked. “Kid’s just a prospect. He couldn’t fight his way outta a wet paper bag, let alone protect my assets.” Hearing Chop talk about me that way makes me shiver.

“Wel,l she seems comfortable being around him, which is more than I can say for you. You’ll come to learn that things with Freya are much more manageable when she’s happy.” That must be his final word because I start to hear footsteps coming from the other side of the door and panic.

“Ahhh, there she is.” Dad catches me when I’m halfway up the stairs.

“Come here, darlin’,” he calls me down with his hand and after I take the steps back down he kisses my cheek.

Chop’s eyes scrutinize me, and hearing everything that was just said makes me want to run for the door.

But where would I go? My father runs this town there's no one I can fully trust. I have no idea where Aaron is and I can’t leave Willow, she’s lost so many people in her short little life.

“Chop here was just stopping by to check in on us. Ain’t that gooda him?” Dad curls his arm around my hips as if warning me to play nice.

“Tobias,” Chop corrects him, stepping closer, and my dad does nothing when he takes my hand and kisses it. “She knows I prefer her to call me by my real name.” His smile sends a cold chill down my spine and when I pull myself away from him, he chuckles. “I’ll be seein’ ya, little darlin’.” He makes his way out the door and I wait until I hear the bike that was parked up beside my dad’s ride off before I confront him.

“I heard what you were talk ? —”

“You should be nicer to him,” My dad tells me firmly.

“Nice? Dad, he’s a monster, and to think that you would ? —”

“We’re all monsters, darlin’, and that monster is a big part of my plan. So are you.” He laughs as he flicks the end of my nose with his finger.

“What plan?” I feel so helpless, and I know that if Aaron was here none of this would be happening.

“I’m gonna take over this club sweetheart, one charter at a time. Jimmer’s too soft, I’ve found a better way for the club to earn, and I know he ain’t gonna go along with it.”

“Those women, are they the way you earn?” I fear his answer.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Princess. You’re gonna be taken care of, you’re gonna have everythin’ you need.”

“Taken care of by him?” I look back toward the door. “Dad, I hate Chop, he gives me the creeps.”

“You don’t have to like him sweetheart. You just have to use what you've got to keep him in line.” I gasp in disgust when I feel his hand grip firmly between my legs and force me against the wall. “I need Chop to stay loyal and not let any power I give him go to his head. He’s gonna need a strong old lady. You can do that for Daddy can’t you?”

I nod my head back at him, too petrified and shocked to argue.

“Good, because I’d hate to have to send you to where I sent those other girls. You're far too clever and pretty to be passed around like a little cockwarmer, Princess.” He releases me and taps the side of my cheek.

“Freya?” Eden is looking at me and I have no idea what she’s waiting for. “Yes.” I shake myself out of hell and back to reality.

“I was just explaining to Lettie, that you and her aren’t so different.” Eden looks concerned as she watches me blink.

“Unfortunately, we’re not.” I look over to her and smile

“I knew your father, he came to the clubhouse in Sacramento a few times.” She takes the coffee Polly just made her and thanks. Her little boy is in Alicia’s arms now and I notice she’s smiling for the first time since she found out her brother was dead.

“Did you ever see my sister, Willow?” I ask, putting myself through more torture. I knew when I left here with Drew that there was every chance Dad would have Willow take my place in his plan for the future. What kind of sister does that?

I tried so hard to convince myself that she was different, she was always his favorite, but I knew what he was capable of, and I left her to fend for herself. I’m the one who should be dead.

“If it’s the girl I’m thinking of, I saw her a few times. My dad said he was taking care of her for a friend. We had a few conversations but she never told me who she was.”

“Do you know how many members there are at San Diego?” Peyton changes the subject, she’s been looking worried ever since the guys left and despite Ruckus being a cheating scumbag I know how she feels. I can’t let myself imagine what he and brother are doing right now.

“Seven, maybe eight. Dad never told me of his plans, but I knew he wanted to make it work out here. He sent his best guy from Sacramento out here to get things up and running, and he’s put a lot of his own money into it,” she explains.

“And how did you end up here?” I ask.

“When Dad said he was setting up a new charter that would put the Souls out of business, I knew it would be close to Saul. I asked if we could get our own place and make a new start away from Sacramento. He didn’t need much convincing.” She smiles while her eyes fill with tears.

“He looks like Saul, don’t you think?” Alicia carries her nephew toward me so she can show him off, and I nod and manage a smile. He is kinda cute, and it’s great to see her be enthusiastic about something. “I really needed this today. I was so mad at Raze when I realized what he was doing, but now, having them here… I can kind of understand how Iris feels. Do you think we can convince them to stay? ” she whispers, and when I look past her toward Lettie, who already looks so at home with the other girls, I smile.

“I think we can do that, let's face it, she’s got a lot of choice.” I feel a heavy weight in my chest when I realize that Eden is right, me and Lettie Wilkins are the same. She will stay here because she’s been betrayed by her father, and without Saul she faces an uncertain future, and I will leave, because the ghosts of my past just won’t stay buried.