Ruckus (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #3)

Chapter 33

I ’ve lost track of how long she’s been gone. What I do know is that I’ve wasted every second of that time since.

Sinner and whiskey have become my new best friends and instead of hanging out at the club where all the memories of her are, I’m hiding out here in his apartment.

“How about Lucky Eight?” Sin tips his head toward the blonde with a lucky eight ball tattooed on her ass. I shake my head, same way I have for all the rest of them. I don’t wanna fuck Freya Adams outta my head. I wanna keep her there forever. I also wanna get on my bike, ride to Arizona, and demand she tell me why she let me fall so in love with her. Was hurting me once not fuckin’ enough for her?

“You’ve got so fuckin’ boring since VP’s sister showed up. Look around ya Ruck, I’ve laid on an all you can eat buffet, and you’re tellin’ me ya ain’t hungry?”

“That's what I’m tellin’ ya.” I shrug, before knocking back more whiskey. Sinner’s apartment is crammed full of half-naked females, the music is loud and he’s right. There was a time when I would’ve had a field day with this shit.

“That nasty little redhead was practically droolin’ to suck your cock, you know she does porn, right?” Sin’s eyes are glazed and when I look down at his lap, the girl dressed like a cheerleader is still bobbing her head up and down on his cock.

“Where did you find a fuckin’ cheerleader from?” I laugh.

“I dunno, she came with Clara May.” He fists her hair, lifting her head and making it slip from her mouth.

“Where ya come from, darlin’?” He manages to keep the blunt he’s smoking between his lips while he asks her.

“Originally from Boston but I transfer–”

“I meant how did ya get here?” He laughs.

“We got through to the nationals and Clara said this was the best way to celebrate.” She spreads her palms out on his thighs and looks hungry for more.

“Hold up, are you tellin’ me you’re a real life, fuckin’ cheerleader.” He frowns at her, then shoots his eyes across to me.

“Of course, I am.” She giggles, and when she wraps her hand around his shaft and starts to direct him back toward her mouth, Sin quickly covers it with his hand.

“High school or college?” He raises one of his eyebrows.

“College,” she muffles against his palm.

“Get back to work.” He taps her cheek before pushing her face back onto his cock.

“Sin, I think I need to get back to the club.” I tap my pockets, trying to find my cell. I need clean clothes and some fresh fuckin’ air.

“You go back there and you know what’ll happen. You’re only gonna get more torn up over VP’s sister. You need to forget about her. Here is the perfect place to do that.” I look around the room at all the women drinking, dancing, and having fun. Not one of them appeals to me.

Freya Adams has fuckin’ cursed me.

“Yo, Lucky Eight, get over here!” Sinner calls over to the blonde chick who immediately stops grinding against her friend and makes her way over to us.

“Na, ah, ah.” He shakes his head. “Get on your knees,” he instructs her, and I shake my head when she drops to the floor and seductively starts to crawl.

“How do you get ‘em to do that?” I ask.

“I can get ‘em to do anythin’. Mrs Kirby calls it my compelling charm.” He winks.

“Who the fuck is Mrs Kirby?” I chuckle to myself.

“You know her, she owns the building, and I’m telling ya, she could teach these girls a thing or two.”

“Mrs Kirby, the woman who’s always sweeping the sidewalk?” I have to check I’m hearing him right.

“Next time Saint stops by, ask him why he thinks we ain’t paid no rent in three years?” He laughs before turning his attention to the topless blonde who just crawled to his heel.

“What’s with the lucky eight ball?” Sinner curves his head around her body curiously.

“Why don’t you shake it and find out.” She teases the corner of her mouth with her tongue.

“How do you like the look of my friend?” he asks her.

“I’ve been waiting for him to notice me since I got here.” Her eyes look me up and down, while I knock back more whiskey..

“Ya know, rumour has it… and don’t ya go gettin’ all modest on me.” His hand slaps my chest and then points his finger at my face. “That my boy here, ain’t just a pretty face. He’s got the weaponry to back it up. Why don’t ya open up his jeans and find out if there's any truth in that rumour?” he suggests, and when she immediately starts to do as he suggested, I quickly stand up.

“I was actually just headin’ off.” I see my cell on the table among all the empty bottles and a few discarded bikini tops, and grab it.

“Wait, Ruck. Don’t do anythin’ stupid.” Sin pulls the cheerleader off his cock so he can get up.

“Girls, just amuse yourselves,” he tells ‘em, grabbing my arm and steering me toward the bathroom. “Listen…” He goes to put his arm around my shoulder and I step back.

“Dude, cock away before ya touch me.” I glance down at what’s hanging outta his jeans and he rolls his eyes before tucking it away.

“All those problems we spoke about the night before we buried Cam, are still gonna be there,” he reminds me.

“I thought you said we were never gonna talk about the lifeguard tower.” I fold my arms over my chest.

“We ain’t. Ever. To anyone.” He points that finger of his in my face again. “If rumour got around that I participated in a deep and meaningful, Dev would try getting my ass back on a shrink's couch.” He grips my shoulders in both hands and forces me to look at him. “Now, you take all those feelings you have for Freya, and you bury ‘em somewhere deep. They’re a weakness, an infestation. All that jealousy, and the fear of not being enough… men like you and me ain’t cut out for that shit. This is what life’s all about.” He looks around the room of strangers. “We ain’t like Raze and Wrath or those Colorado brothers. Freya did you a favour when she left.”

“What if the reason we’re the way we are, is because we never met the right one.”

I spent hours talking to Sinner in that lifeguard tower. He’d been calling me out for weeks and I needed someone to talk to when everything felt like it was getting outta control. He’s right, loving Freya came with its difficulties. I don’t know how to handle the jealousy, I was constantly scared of fucking up and losing her. Now that she's gone, I just feel empty. I don’t wanna feel empty all my life. I wanna have stupid petty arguments, and make-up sex that blows my fuckin’ mind. I want her leg resting over me while we sleep, and her hair clogging up my bath plug. And I let her go without putting up the fight I should’ve because I didn’t wanna hurt my best friend.

“I need to talk to Wrath.” I scroll through my phone to call Dev’s brother. I can’t even remember how I got here, and I’m in no fit state to ride. But my head is clear on what I have to do next. I don’t believe that Freya wants to be with Cam. Freya is doing what she did five years ago. She’s running scared, but this time she ain’t getting away from me.

I’m gonna get my girl back.