Twenty-Seven
Jace
Heart heavy, I sit in my seat, waiting for the plane to take off. Something sharp digs into my leg from my book bag, and my breathing picks up when I pull out the notebook Nate made me when we were younger.
“All the things that make Jace a good person.”
I stroke my fingers over the title before flipping through the pages. My lips stretch into a smile when I see the last list made was this morning.
Jace cares about others' needs before his own.
Jace showed me the world while I stood still.
Jace kept me safe from Leatherface.
I laugh and read on. Skimming the page until I reach the last one.
Jace thinks he’s choosing what’s right for me over what he wants.
Jace has always been what’s right for me.
I shut the book and shove it back in my bag, staring out the window, seeing his words even when I shut my eyes.
I tried to be right for him. I tried to be right for myself but then blood covered my hands. Fearful eyes have been aimed toward me. What they say on the local news, about the man who goes around town mutilating men, are things I can’t hear him say too.
Evil. Monster. Disturbed.
They don’t care what those men did before I got to them. Not all of them had track records, and that’s what made them more dangerous. No one was watching them. No one knew to keep others safe from their sick thoughts and actions. No one but me.
I hurt and destroy the lives of people who deserve it, but I’m still hurting people. I’m still dangerous. No matter what, that’s still what everyone sees. It’s all they’ll ever see. But not him, and I’ll do whatever it takes to let him only see the good sides of me.