Ruthless Reign

Chapter 12

I couldn’t sleep.Not when I knew that tonight, as soon as it got dark, the Saints would be face to face with the Sons again in the canyons.

Mystomach turned and I hiked up the Kaleb scented blankets, burrowing deeper into them, closer to the heat of his body as I flicked listlessly through TikTok videos under the covers to keep from waking him up.

Hewas always already awake when I woke up every morning, with coffee made, and some horrifyingly burnt or oversalted monstrosity of breakfast cooked by the time I reached the kitchen. He was improving a bit at least, but the dark circles under his eyes only grew each morning. The rich, healthy bronze tone of his skin fading to a shade that seemed leached of life.

Iwas so relieved he was sleeping tonight. They’d need to be at their best for tonight. Ready. Alert.

Thedays passed so quickly. Too quickly. As if some cosmic force was herding us to the edge of a cliff.

Oneminute I was sipping rye and Coke on the sofa with Toby and Kate and the next I was waking up at three in the morning on the day I’d been dreading since Kaleb and Hardin pulled me out of the Saint safehouse and told me they’d lost.

Itwas like everything that had happened in the last few days had happened in a dream. LikeI was there, but also…wasn’t.

Stasis mode,Kaleb had called it. When nothing else seems to matter because there’s something more important you’re waiting for.

Iknow I went to class and I painted—not daring to step one toe into the supply closet—and I know we went to the gun range to practice, forced down some form of sustenance, and then there was always inevitably something that needed doing.

Hardinand Kaleb were getting a pass for most things gang related and I wasn’t stupid enough to wonder why. It was clearly my fault. Myfather might be willing to put his sons at risk, but he seemed a lot less keen to have me involved. Which meant either they were tasked with doing something so menial that I wondered if it was even necessary at all, or one of them was left with me while DamienStVincent called the other one to a task.

Whenthat happened I had to hold my breath until he returned, hating that it felt like missing a limb whenever one of them left.

I’dhave been lying if I said there wasn’t a secret part of me that hoped when we drove down to ThornValley today that all of Diesel’s men would just be saddled up and ready to go. Surely together, both chapters of the Saints could take out the Sons?

Andthen there was the guilt. BecauseI didn’t want AvaJade or the Crows in any danger, either. They’d had more than their fair share and they deserved a fucking break.

Isighed, exiting TikTok just as a message came in.

Dad

My contacts say those streets aren’t safe right now. Come home. They’re still holding your place at CalTech. I know you’re more stubborn than your mother ever was but you can still change your mind. Let’s just talk about it, ok? I’ll send the driver, just give me your address.

Myknuckles turned white where they clenched the phone. I could have screamed. I didn’t know what part of I’m staying was so hard to understand, but clearly he was having trouble with the mental Olympics of thinking I could actually survive without him.

Andas freaking if he didn’t already have my address. GregoryHart didn’t get where he was in life by not being in the know. But he could rock up to my shared flat whenever he wanted. He wouldn’t find me there and Toby would tell him exactly where he could go. I’d told them all about my Dad and how he thought I wouldn’t survive a week without his money. Let’s just say they weren’t exactly his biggest fans.

Ifucking dared him to try to come get me. As long as I didn’t have to see his face, I’d be fine. I didn’t trust myself not to blow up at him. He knew. He knew for my whole damn life that I was a St. Vincent and said nothing.

Momwould’ve told me. Maybe not when I was a kid, but I knew she would’ve when I got older.

Kalebtwitched against my back, and I clicked off my phone screen, trying not to move so I wouldn’t wake him.

Hemuttered something under his breath in his sleep, and I carefully inched back, turning around to face him. There was only a little moonlight coming in through the dark curtains, but it was enough to see the hard knot between his brows. The sweat on his forehead.

Hisjaw flexed, teeth grinding as a broken sound vibrated in his chest, making my own squeeze.

“Kaleb?” I whispered.

Ididn’t want to wake him, but as he made the sound again, my blood turned to ice.

Ipushed sweaty hair from his forehead, trying to wake him from the nightmare gently, a ball in my throat. “Hey, wake up, it’s me.”

Hisbody heaved on the bed, and he woke all at once, a trembling curse on his lips, eyes wide and unfocused as he shot up, his hands fisting in the sheets.

“It was just a dream,” I said and gasped as he whirled on me, a fist around my throat as he shoved me down onto my back, not seeing me. Not seeing anything but whatever still haunted him as he was stuck some place between waking and sleeping.

“Kal…eb,” I croaked, clawing at his fingers.

“Fuck,” he released me, stepping off the bed with horror on his face. “Fuck, Becca, I?—”

Irubbed my throat. “It’s okay. It was just a dream.”

Hewent for his nightstand, tearing it open to pull out the half empty bottle of whiskey there. He twisted the cap off and brought it to his lips, but stopped, his grip on the bottle tightening, shaking, as he pulled it back.

Kalebset the bottle down on top of his nightstand and sat heavily on the bed, pushing his face into his hands.

Heflinched as I laid my hands on his back, and a leaden weight settled in my belly as I found him trembling. I slipped my hands around his torso, hugging him tight from behind.

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered, his warm hand covering both of mine where they were knotted against his sternum. “I didn’t mean to?—”

“It’s okay,” I repeated. “I know.”

Iheld him until he stopped shaking, wishing I could pluck whatever horrible image his unconscious mind had conjured up while he slept and burned it to ash.

Kalebsighed, tugging my hands until they came apart and he could pull me around him and into his lap.

“Are you okay?” I asked him.

Hegripped my hip with one hand, keeping me in place as he reached up with the other, fingers brushing over my collar, pushing my braid back away from my shoulder to check for injury across my throat.

Iwanted to tell him if his brother barely left more than a few fingerprints the other day then he could rest assured I apparently didn’t bruise easy, but before I could open my mouth to speak, he kissed me.

Asoft, soft kiss against my lips, and then my jaw, and then my throat. The side of my neck. “I should be asking you that,” he whispered against my collar, making me shiver. “DidI hurt you?”

Ishook my head, thinking of about a hundred things he could do to make it up to me if he really wanted to. “No,” I said, shutting down the thirsty bitch angling for more cock before she even properly healed from the last pounding.

“Are you worried about tonight?” I asked.

“I’d be an idiot if I wasn’t,” he replied. “But that’s not…I’ve had night terrors as long as I can remember. They went away awhile but they came back. It’s not often or anything, but they’re so…”

“Vivid?” I supplied, hoping he could hear the understanding in my voice. I was blessed that the night terrors I got after Jericho only lasted a few weeks before petering out. They were so real, though. I remembered that part. I remembered waking up covered in sweat thinking he was there. ThatI was back in my bedroom at BriarHall with a bullet in my chest, bleeding out.

“Very,” Kaleb agreed.

“What do you dream about?”

“It’s fucking stupid.”

“It’s not stupid.”

Hegave me a look, and I gave him one right back.

“Try me?”

Hedropped his head and was so quiet for so long I wondered if I shouldn’t have pushed him, but then he pulled me closer as he leaned back against the headboard and fixated on a spot in the blankets. “DidHardin tell you I got lost when I was a kid?”

Isquinted at him and he laughed hollowly. “Guess not. He wouldn’t. No one ever really talks about it. ButI did. I was ten and I got lost for almost two weeks. Way out in Pico. We lived near there on the Canyon road.”

“Two weeks? Did you run away or something?”

Hepursed his lips, nodding to himself. “Guess you could say that.”

Icocked my head at him and he got that distant look in his eyes again. “You know what happened with my Pa?”

Ihad a pretty good idea. I knew only what they told me. That he was a shitty human and that Hardin killed him and he and his Mom buried his body out in the canyons. Good riddance.

“Well, I was sleeping when it happened. I just remember waking up and going into the living room and seeing Ma on the floor. She wasn’t moving. Our dad was there, too, with his chest covered in blood. He was still alive, but barely. Hardin was there, kneeling just above him, with a knife. He wasn’t finished.”

“Oh my god.”

“I thought—actually, I don’t know what I thought exactly other than that I thought Ma was dead and when my brother looked at me, he didn’t see me, and I didn’t see him. He was just…gone. I got scared and ran. I ran for so fucking long, Vixen. And by the time I stopped running and knew I needed to go back and help Hardin, I didn’t know where I was. Didn’t know how to get back.”

Myeyes burned. I could imagine him. A little, more innocent version of Kaleb, alone in the dark, in the woods. Thinking his Ma was dead. That his brother killed his abusive Pa and his whole life was about to implode.

“No kid should have to live through something like that. I’m so sorry.”

Heshook his head, a dark laugh coming from his mouth as he looked up at me through hooded eyes. “Want to know the most fucked up part, Vixen?”

Itook his hand and held it but he didn’t hold mine back.

“In the nightmares it’s not my Ma on the floor. It’s not Hardin with that knife. It’s not seeing my Dad with the light leaving his eyes. It’s this?—”

Hepushed a palm roughly into his own chest with anger in his eyes. “This fucking feeling.And it’s that same feeling I felt out there in the woods. It’s just me and I’m there, alone, and the blood is on my hands, but it’s not my Pa’s blood. No. It’s the blood of this baby deer that I had to?—”

Hisvoice tightened, the words constricting until they choked off and I could have died inside at the look on his face.

“OhKaleb…”

“It’s the feeling though,” he said, sniffing as he tipped his head back to look up at the ceiling. He tapped his chest. “More than anything it’s the feeling. LikeI’m four foot five again. Just this little piddly ass kid alone in the dark. It’s like…like hopelessness. I felt helpless. Useless.”

“That’s not?—”

“I just made a bad situation worse. LikeI always do.” He scoffed. “Not much has changed.”

Igrabbed him by the face, forcing his dark eyes to focus on mine. “That’s not true, Kaleb. And you can’t blame yourself for something that happened when you were just a kid.”

Hetried to pull away.

“You were a kid,” I repeated. “Kids get scared. And you had every right to be terrified in that situation. Any kid would’ve run or at the very least pissed himself or passed out. It’s insane to think you should’ve just walked in on what you walked in on and been totally fine. Thatis insane.”

Hereached up and gripped my wrists, gently but forcefully tugging my hands down from his face to look away.

“And whatever you did—whatever you had to do out there—you did it because you wanted to survive. Honestly, the resourcefulness you would’ve had to have to not starve to death or worse as a kid lost for that long is…well it’s insanely impressive.”

Hebarked a laugh, but I could see the shift in his eyes. The way they narrowed, tracing over the messy blankets, and I knew he was at least thinking about it in a new light.

“It doesn’t matter now,” he said, and I picked up on his need to shift the conversation and made myself shut up. I had to hope that what I said would sink in, whether it was right now or next month. Maybe his next nightmare wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe he’d see his little ‘piddly ass self’ as what he was—a kid—and not the ten year old tank he wishes he could’ve been.

Andthen there it was. His brother was only a couple years older. He would’ve been, what? Twelve? Twelve years old and forced to defend his Mother and little brother against his bastard of a father to the point of murder.

Kaleb’sthumb stroked the soft spot on the underside of my wrists as he continued to hold them. He brought my hands to his lips and kissed each of my knuckles, making something clench low in my belly. “Thank you,” he whispered so quietly I almost didn’t hear him.

“For what?”

Hethought about it for a second. “Listening, I guess. I’ve never really talked about it.”

Thefirst rays of dawn brightened the room to a soft umber hue, just enough to properly see the expression on his face. To be able to trace the tattoos over his chest and down his arms. Kaleb caught me admiring him and when my gaze lifted again, I found him smirking. Felt the swell of his cock thickening beneath my ass in his lap.

“Take off your clothes, Vixen,” he said against my hands, releasing them enough to kiss each wrist before he slid me from his lap and stood.

“Where are you going?”

Mypussy was proper awake now, and I bit my lip as I kicked off my sleep shorts, maybe a little bit too eager as I watched him cross the room to my side of the bed.

Theway the shadows and light played over his muscled torso should’ve been criminal. No one should be able to look that good. Kaleb threw his hair back as he crouched low to riffle through my suitcase.

Mypussy throbbed, remembering what he tucked away inside it.

“Told you I needed to see this,” he said in a husky tone, lifting the enormous black butt plug from where it was nested in my clothes. “Mmm, maybe this, too?”

Hefingered a pair of handcuffs, holding them aloft, dangling from one finger.

Inodded and he grinned wickedly, rising back to his feet. Was he always so tall?

Mythroat went dry as he tossed the toys onto the bed next to me and leaned over my body, his shoulders rippling. “ThoughtI told you to take your clothes off.”

Ibit my lip against a premature moan, and he reached out, rubbing the pad of his thumb over my mouth. “Uh, uh,” he chided. “That’s my job.”

Hismouth found mine and my hands found his shoulders as he guided me onto my back with the press of his body. His teeth dragged over my lower lip, biting a little harder than I thought he would, dragging out a whimper that he swallowed whole.

Hishand traveled down my body, ravishing my curves, squeezing tight at my waist before he found my hand and entwined his fingers with mine. I gasped as he sharply pulled my arm above my head and found my other one, raising it to join the first until my hands were locked above my head.

Isquirmed beneath him, arching my back as he settled between my legs.

Thecool metal cuffs rolled across my wrists and he cinched them tight, using the connective chain to easily hold my hands up and out of the way as he dipped his head to kiss my neck.

“Kaleb,” I moaned and felt him shudder above me. SoI said it again. “Kaleb.”

“Fuck, Vixen,” he muttered against my chest and I inhaled sharply as his fingers found the collar of my sleep shirt and ripped it clean off my body. I didn’t even have time to mourn the loss of it before he had a nipple in my mouth and I swore he could’ve ruined all my clothes right then and I wouldn’t have cared at all.

Ipulled on the binds holding my hands, aching to touch him, but he held them fast as his teeth grazed the sensitive skin of my nipple, his free hand tracing a hot path down my side, over my ribcage and into the dip of my waist.

Lower, until his fingers could slip beneath the silky fabric of my panties. He hissed as his fingers brushed my clit, finding just how turned on I was. It was almost embarrassing how soaked I’d gotten. I pressed my thighs together, moaning, face burning, but he used a knee to pry me back open for him. And when my eyes met his, I saw nothing but pure desire.

Helicked his lips, and my stomach flipped.

“Just a quick taste, Vixen. I don’t know when I’m going to get to eat this pretty pussy again.”

Thereminder of our finite time hit me like a punch to the gut, but it only made this that much more frantic. That much more demanded.

Helifted me enough to hook my bound hands around the short post on the right side of his wood headboard. “Those stay there,” he ordered with a coy look before grabbing the pillows. “Lift your hips for me, Vixen.”

Idid and he stuffed the pillows beneath me, lifting me for him to feast as he sunk low between my legs. “There’s this little trick I know,” he teased, hooking a finger into me without warning, making me buck. “Want to give it a try?”

Inodded feverishly. Right now he could do just about anything he wanted to me and I wouldn’t say no. I wanted him so badly it physically fucking hurt.

Heworked those curled fingers inside of me. The angle made by raising me up with the pillows and the way he crooked his fingers…it was pure fucking pleasure. I threw my head back, rocking my hips, wanting more. My greedy clit throbbing as I waited for him to make good on his promise.

“Is this what you want?” he lowered his mouth to me, licking me slowly.

“Yes.”

“Who does this pretty pussy belong to?”

“You,” I choked out.

“Good girl.”

Hedescended on me, working his tongue like a god as his fingers played me like an instrument of pleasure, hitting the perfect fucking spot. A spot I’m not even sure I knew I had. Just right. Just…there.

“Fuck. Oh god, Kaleb.”

“That’s right, baby. Pray to your god.”

Mycore tightened and I cried out as the pressure he was building inside started to fill me so fully that I squirmed against the buildup, squeezing my eyes shut to see stars on the backs of my eyelids.

Heworked his fingers harder. Faster. Matching the quick pace of his wicked tongue.

“Oh god. Oh god.”

Istrained against the cuffs binding my wrists, my body heaving as the pressure hit a precipice, and I cried out his name as I came.

No, not came.

Thepressure released, and I felt it rattle inside of me before gushing out in a wave. Warm wetness coated my thighs and Kaleb’s mouth as he lifted his head and used quick fingers to rub my slit, making my squirt spray over his chest.

Icursed, practically mewling at the earth shattering release.

Helaughed at the absolute shock he must’ve seen on my face as my pussy spasmed, little fireworks exploding through my body as it stretched out, long and hard and just about the most incredible thing I think I’d ever felt.

Whenit finally released me, I could barely catch my breath.

“Damn,” he said, grinning crookedly as he palmed some of my release from his chin and I died a little inside as the high of my release softened and I realized the fucking mess I’d made.

“What did you do?” I panted in horror.

Hiseyes gleamed mischievously. “Well, I think you squirted, Vixen.”

“I don’t squirt.”

Kalebsmirked. “You do now. AndI think watching you do it was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my goddamn life.”

Helicked what remained of my release from his lips and felt around in the blankets until he found the plug. He then reached for something from his bedside table drawer and shut it noisily.

Mypussy was still so sensitive that when he lifted my legs onto his shoulders to get better access to my ass, the tiniest brush against it had my eyes rolling skyward.

“Hold that thought,” he taunted playfully, dripping lube from a small clear bottle down my slit until it reached my ass. He dragged the plug through it, earning himself a broken cry as he got it good and coated. He prodded the tip of it against me and I cursed.

“Hold still, Vixen. I’ll take it nice and easy.”

Inodded, unable to speak through my clenched teeth. I’d only ever used this plug once before for a reason. It was massive.

ButI was ready and the thought of having my ass full while Kaleb pounded my pussy was just too good to pass up.

Iwhimpered as he started to work it in gently, just the tip at first. In and out. Around and around. Gaining another half an inch every minute.

“Holy fuck,” he said on a shuddered breath, and I watched him watch me take the plug in awe and smiled to myself. “Almost there, Vixen.”

Itried to relax as he eased it the rest of the way in, and I felt my body accept it, closing around the peaked bulb, filling me in a way that made my toes curl.

Kalebshocked me by slapping and then gripping my ass, making me squeeze around the plug as he planted a kiss on my belly and crawled over me.

“I’m sorry, Vixen, if I don’t get inside you right fucking now I think I’ll die.”

Alick of pure lightning ignited up my spine as I realized what he was about to do.

Kalebjerked down his shorts with sloppy fingers, letting his cock spring free. I only got a glimpse of its veiny glory before he thrusted into me in one stroke, seating himself all the way in so our hips were flush. I was so full with him I choked, unable to draw in air as I adjusted to the dual sensation of the plug and his fucking glorious cock.

So. Fucking. Full.

Fora second, I saw two Kaleb’s above me, and I ached to touch them both.

Usingmy core, I lifted just enough to free my hands from the post, dropping them around his neck to pull his mouth to mine.

Hemoaned into the kiss and when he began to move…

Mynails bit down on the back of his neck as he tucked his head into the crook of my shoulder, working his hips as he fucked me just right.

“You’re so fucking wet for me, Vixen,” he grunted as he fucked me. “You feel so good.”

Histhrusts came faster, harder, and from the tension in his back and the teeth clenching sounds of the effort he was exerting, I knew he was already close.

“No, fuck, not yet,” he growled, slowing down, but I gripped his shoulders, moving him, making him chase that release.

Kalebmoaned my name, and I felt my pussy clench around him.

Hedrew back, his heavy lidded eyes showing pain. Pain at how hard he was holding himself back. He panted, moaning his pleasure and fuck, had I fucking mentioned how downright panty-soaking it was when a man knew how to make noise in the bedroom?

Helifted my right knee, getting a deeper angle, rolling his hips as he fucked me. Then his other hand was around my neck and he was drawing my face to his, kissing me softly, deeply.

Andwe weren’t fucking anymore. Kaleb made love to me and the next time he moaned against my mouth I knew I was a fucking goner.

Icried out into his mouth, and he cursed against mine, his grip on my neck tightening as he broke the kiss in favor of looking into my eyes.

“Come with me?” he begged, his beautiful face crumpling, and as he poured into me, I found my release, too. He rocked all the way to the hilt into me as I came and I clutched at him, clinging to the sensations fluttering through me as long as I could.

Untilour breathing started to even out. Until my heart stopped trying to beat right out of my chest.

Kalebpulled up the covers and tucked me into his arms. I burrowed my face into the warmth of his chest through the blanket, sighing softly as he traced errant circles into my arm.

Itwas so quiet. Peaceful.

Sonaturally, I had to ruin it.

“What are you thinking?”

Hisfingertips against my skin froze.

“Kaleb?”

Ididn’t dare look at him. Something told me I shouldn’t have asked. Why did I ask?

Hedropped his hand against my arm and I heard his heart skip a beat before he spoke. “I was thinking that I might be falling madly in love with you.”