Chapter 13
She didn’t say it back.
Itwasn’t what should’ve been permeating my thoughts as I got my ass up and showered. I didn’t need to be wondering if she made us coffee and breakfast while I was washing her off my cock because she felt guilty.
Oroverthinking every goddamn word out of my mouth to her. Every touch. Speculating whether she didn’t say it back because she maybe thought that it meant something it didn’t. Like that if she loved me she couldn’t love Hardin.
Mybrother didn’t seem to have any issue more than he did with life in general this morning and I damn well know he heard us.
Ishould’ve been thinking about tonight, and what awaited us in the canyons. Not to mention how fucking angry she might be when I told her we were leaving her with the Crows. Maybe she’d be happy about it. She was always talking about how much she missed her best friend, right?
Fuck, I was overthinking everything and being awkward as shit.
Iwas the one who sucked the awkward out of situations, but here I was, king of awkward. Making a bad situation worse.
Where’smy motherfucking crown?
Thedrive to ThornValley was mostly quiet. Hardin and I took some calls from Dad through the Bronco, letting him know where we were. Making plans for how, when, and where to return to once we made the ‘trade’ in ThornValley.
Beccadidn’t even question it. She probably thought we were trading something for the guns, not someone.
Maybe she’ll be relieved she doesn’t have to come,I reasoned, not really believing my own bullshit.
“Is this it?” I asked, gesturing to the tall iron gates with a raised brow.
Beccanodded in the rearview. “Yeah. That’s the place. It was her aunt’s but she inherited it when the old bag kicked it.”
Nolove lost there, I guess?
“Didn’t think she’d move in, though,” Becca murmured under her breath, sitting up to get a better look as I buzzed the intercom.
Thesound of a throat being cleared on the other end came through the speaker. “Password?” came Rook’s voice, and I shook my head.
“Cuntnugget,” I said, repeating the ‘password’ he gave me over the phone earlier.
“Proceed.”
Thegates swung open and Becca stifled a chuckle in the back seat.
“In and out,” Hardin reminded me as we pulled up to the mansion and got out.
“Yep. In and out.”
“Can’t we stay for a bit?” Becca asked just as the doors swung open and AvaJade flew down the wide steps like a bat out of hell.
Beccabarely turned fully around to face her friend before AvaJade jumped on her, wrapping her up in a hard embrace. “Fuck, Becks,” she said. “I’ve been worried about you!”
“I thought you weren’t going to be here,” Becca replied, deftly changing the subject. “Rook said you wouldn’t be back from the tour until Sunday.”
“Surprise,” AvaJade said as she pulled away. “We canceled the last show. WhenI heard you were coming and shit was getting back down south we thought we should all be here just in case.”
“I told them we had it,” Grey said, appearing at the top of the steps. He had his glass eye on today instead of the patch and from a distance it looked so real I swore it was like he never lost it all. The guy AvaJade and the others hired did an incredible job with it.
Corvuscame outside, shouldering past Grey to come down the stairs and greet his cousins. “AndI told you there was no way in hell we were sitting out if shit got real,” he shouted back at Grey.
“Not that we think anything is going to hit the fan,” AvaJade said between her teeth, elbowing Corvus as he leaned down to give me a hug.
“Right. Yeah. Good to see you, Becca.”
“You too.”
Helooked different somehow, and I couldn’t quite place what it was at first, but then it hit me. He looked alive.CorvusJames always suited his BoneMan alter ego. The pale complexion. Hollowed cheeks and razor sharp cheekbones. He still had a lot of that bone structure but there was color in his skin now. The dark circles that had seemed permanently tattooed beneath his eyes were all but gone. His icy blue eyes clearer, devoid of creeping red veins and lingering redness.
“You look good,” I told him.
“So do you.”
Hardincleared his throat and Corvus pursed his lips against a smirk as Hardin stared between Corvus and Becca with black fire in his eyes.
“Oh calm down, Goliath,” AvaJade mocked Hardin before taking Becca by the hand to lead her up the stairs. “And don’t take this the wrong way, Becks, but actually, you look like shit. Have you been eating?”
“Aves.”
“Seriously, though. I think you lost weight and you were already such a skinny bitch. Come on, Corvus made zucchini bread, and I know that sounds absolutely disgusting but it’s actually crazy good. Maybe a drink, too? I bought some Crown for you.”
“Wow rye and zucchini. Sounds so good.”
“Shut up.”
“Hey, Becks,” Rook said, coming out with a glass of amber liquid hanging from his fingertips as he leaned in to embrace her…and then swatted AvaJade’s ass as he passed by them to join us at the base of the stairs.
“So,” he said, sipping his drink. “Damien won’t tell Diesel shit. How bad is it actually?”
Ilooked to Hardin, finding the warning in his stare. IfDad didn’t want to share, it wasn’t our place to do it for him.
“We’re handling it,” Hardin told them.
Inodded my agreement. “We are. Séamas is a creative fucker, but we’re making moves. He won’t be a problem soon.”
Noneof them looked at all convinced.
“Shit’s tight here right now but Diesel can spare a few men,” Grey offered. “Or we could?—”
“No,” Hardin interrupted, and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. I didn’t want our cousins or Diesel anywhere near SéamasO’Sullivan. It was bad enough we lost ChiefAndrews and Archer. I didn’t want to lose anyone else we cared about. AndI knew Becca wouldn’t want the Crows in the line of fire, either.
“The guns are more than enough,” I said, softening the finality of Hardin’s rejection. “We’ve been cut off from most of our suppliers, so thank you. And thank Diesel again for us, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Rook said, but his gaze had darkened, and I knew he was probably pissed off that we weren’t going to let them get their hands dirty alongside us. The truth was that if my Dad hadn’t asked and if Diesel didn’t give the order, the Crows would have to stay here. Defend their own territory.
Intheory, at least.
Thesefuckers were never ‘Saints’ when it came to following orders.
“Come around back, we’ll get you loaded up,” Corvus said, leading the way as Hardin followed him.
“You tappin’ that yet?” Rook asked as we fell into step behind them.
Leaveit to fucking Rook.
“Not that it’s any of your business…”
Helaughed darkly. “Damn. Ghost owes me fifty bucks.”
Oncewe got everything saddled up and locked away in the Bronco, Hardin was practically buzzing with latent energy. He wanted to get back on the road. We had a few errands to run and needed to make a safe hand off of a bunch of ammo to Pope at the autobody shop to disperse among our ranks.
“Just chill, man,” I said to Hardin as he paced the kitchen for the fifth time in as many minutes. “I’ll go tell Becca what’s up.”
Hegrabbed the small black backpack by the leg of the chair he’d been occupying next to Grey and tossed it to me. I’d packed it while she got ready to go this morning, stuffing it with the basic necessities, trusting AvaJade to have anything else she might need in case we weren’t back as quickly as we wanted to be.
“Good luck,” he said and I shot him a pointed glare over my shoulder before leaving. We already told the Crows and they were cool with it but it would come as a shock to AvaJade and Becca. I was prepared for Becca to be upset with us, but I’d rather not piss off the Saint’sBlade right before walking into a den of insane Irishmen.
Ifollowed the sound of chatting and laughter, finding them in a room near the end of a long hallway where everything from the ornate crown moldings to the ceiling was painted a deep, glossy black. Even the runner beneath my feet was a Persian done in shades of black, gray, and deepest midnight blue.
They’dclearly done some shit to make the place theirs. I doubted the old bag Becca mentioned would’ve had slasher film artwork in the living room or giant dragon eggs on little gold pedestals on half the tables.
Therewas some inside joke there I wasn’t getting to do with Fabergé, but the dragon eggs looked pretty dope.
“Coming in,” I called as I pushed the door the rest of the way open. They both turned to be from where they sat on top of the bed and one look from AvaJade told me Becca had spilled fucking all to her best friend.
Notabout the Sons or what the fuck was going on in SantaClarita. But about us. Me and her. Her and Hardin.
Didshe tell AvaJade that I told her I loved her? That she didn’t say it back?
MaybeI shouldn’t have. I could’ve waited.
Butit was true.
I’dnever loved any of the women I dated. Not even close. SoI had nothing to compare it to. Not really. ButI knew that whatever this was—whatever shifted in me when I first tasted her—couldn’t be undone.
Ihadn’t thought about another woman. Not once. I wasn’t sure I ever would again. Not long ago that shit would’ve scared the piss out of me. But not anymore.
“You good, Kaleb?” AvaJade asked, her face screwing up in confusion, making me realize I’d been standing there like an idiot for like an entire minute without speaking.
Kingof awkward.
“Shit, yeah. Yeah, I’m good. I just need to talk to Vixen for a sec.”
“Vixen?” AvaJade looked at Becca. “Okay, Vixen. GuessI’ll leave you two to chat.”
“The guys want to chat with you,” I told her as she passed me. I could tell from the look in her eyes that she immediately knew something was up. Her jaw clenched.
“Yeah. Sure.”
Iwaited for her to leave and shut the door behind her.
Beccawas looking at something on her phone when I turned around and as the lock engaged she whipped her head up, her face pale, fingers clutching her phone like she wanted to shatter it.
“What’s going on, Kaleb?”
Sheslipped from the bed like the floor might bite her, jumpy as hell. “Did something happen?”
Ishook my head. “No, everything’s fine.”
Shenoticed the bag. “What’s that?”
Iheld it out to her. “It’s for you.”
Shedidn’t take it, but I saw the moment when she realized what was going on without me needing to say a word.
“Oh no. No, no, no. I am not fucking staying here.”
“Vixen…”
“This was the plan all along? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Would you have come?”
Hermouth twitched. “I might’ve.”
Igave her a doubtful look. “We’re going to come right back and get you as soon as it’s done. It’ll be safer for you here with the Crows.”
Sheclosed the gap between us with the light of a new thought in her honey brown eyes. She grabbed my arm in both her hands. “Stay with me, then.”
“What?”
Hernails dug in. “Stay here with me. Both of you. Damien has like fifty other men he can bring with him. He doesn’t need you. Stay.” The almost frantic way her voice rose, the pitch getting higher made me reluctant to tell her what I needed to.
“Come on,” she continued. “Let’s go talk to Hardin. You should?—”
Thedoor opened and Hardin was there. Guess the bastard decided I might need backup after all.
“Stay if you want,” was all Hardin said, his dark eyes flicking to me. My stomach pooled with heat, and I removed Becca’s hands from my arm.
“No. Fuck no. I don’t need you to protect me.”
Hardinstared but said nothing. Fucker.
Iswallowed my anger, noticing Becca was only getting more anxious by the second. She looked like she was going to be sick.
“Besides, who’s going to have your back if shit gets real? It’s you and me,” I told him. The four words he’d repeated to me since the day he found me in the woods and led me home.
“We need to move.”
Beccashouldered past me, and Hardin moved out of her path before she could bowl through him as she stormed out of the room, muttering something I couldn’t hear.
ButHardin heard it, and he snatched her arm, jerking her back. “You will not,” he snarled at her. “You’ll park your ass here and wait for us to c-c-come?—”
Hecut himself off at the stutter, but the message was clear and Becca ripped her arm out of his grip. For an instant, I thought she might chew his head off, but she seemed to think better of it, her lips closing over her bared teeth as her jaw flexed.
“Fine,” she said, her tone clipped.
“Vixen,” I called after her as she turned on her heel and took off, but she didn’t come back.