SAINT BAPTISTE 2: the soul ties series

Chapter 2

“Stop looking at me like that,”Naoki slurred, squirming away from my touch. If the circumstances were different, she would have pushed me away and said something sarcastic, in an effort to put that weak ass wall back up.

Tightening my grip around her waist, I kissed the dainty red bow sitting on her waist bone. “Like what?” I asked before looking back up at her.

There was nothing different about the way I looked at her. It was the same as any other day. Completely. She didn’t like it because she didn’t like to be seen. She appreciated attention but not the kind I gave her. She would rather I looked at her the same way everyone else did. But I couldn’t because when they looked at her, they could only see what was on the surface. When I looked at her, I saw the beauty underneath.

“Like that,” She whined, steady trying to avoid my eyes.

I lightly gripped her jaw to turn her head my way. “Likewhat, Oki?”

“Like you can see me. All of me. Through me,” she mumbled before biting down on her bottom lip in a way that made me want to literally devour her ass.

She had me outside of my muthafuckin’ body. And the shit that happened tonight attested to just how much.

Tonight went completely wrong. I knew that once she truly opened Pandora’s box and got a glimpse of what went on inside, she would do exactly what she did; call me with those pretty brown eyes. And when she called, I was supposed to answer. I was supposed to force her on her knees, not Blondie. Naoki wasn’t supposed to be in the audience. She was supposed to be a part of the show.

However, that changed as I stood at the bar watching her work the room the way only she could work a room. The shit she said over the phone had a chance to marinate. The longer I stood there watching her, the longer it sat in, the more the plan began to change. Naoki told me she hated me. Threatened to give what was mine to other niggas. Basically called me a bitch. It was as if she knew just what to say and how to say it to get deep enough under my skin. She talked to me as if she knew she could get away with it. As if she knew what type of power she had over me. So, when she called me with her eyes, I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t save her. Instead, I had to teach her a lesson.

I needed Naoki to know that regardless of how much power she thought she had over me.... she didn’t have any at all. Yeah, I let her get away with shit, but I needed her to know that when it came to whatever this shit was between us... she was the puppet, and I was the puppeteer. But I was wrong. I didn’t realize how wrong until that change of plans backfired on me. Naoki was right to think she had power. Because... she did. I couldn’t get her off my fuckin’ mind. With Blondie’s lips around my dick, all I could think about was her ass. The only reason my dick got hard was because she was close. The minute she walked off, what I do? Push shorty up off me. She had it. The ball was in her court. And I hated that shit.

I kissed the inside of her thigh and slid my hand between her legs. She shuddered when my fingers found her drenched clit. I toyed with it; gave it delicate strokes, pressed down and circled it. Drove her fuckin’ crazy.

“Like I can see through you, amou? That’s how I look at you?”

“You know you do,” she said through a light whimper.

Naoki had been full of surprises. I didn’t know this version of her. It was as if we were meeting for the first time. Her completely free, without the burden of those rocky ass walls. And hell, me without mine.

“Can you?” She asked through a moan.

“Mmmh,” I mumbled lifting my cream drenched fingers to my lips. With a grunt, I licked them clean. I couldn’t help myself. She was fuckin’ delectable. “Yes,” I honestly told her before slipping two fingers inside of her. She gasped and moaned the minute I found that spongey part of her pussy.

I took her nipple between my teeth and played in that pulsating puddle between her thighs, softly running my thumb over her clit. She shivered and grabbed the back of my neck, urging me to bite harder. I didn’t. It was over for that shit. I didn’t have it in me to be anything but gentle with her. After what I’d done... after what I’d almost done...that was all I wanted to do. She told me to punish her. Said she had been a bad girl who deserved it. ButI wasn’t on that type of time with her. I didn’t want to punish her. This wasn’t a game. I didn’t want to control anything, anymore. I was done with that shit.

Naoki hadn’t been a bad girl. She didn’t deserve to be punished. She hadn’t done shit wrong. Niggas would think since I walked in this bitch and found her somewhat decent without a dick in her mouth, I’d be on another power trip. I’d taken enough of those. If she was anybody else, punishment would’ve sufficed. I would have had her on her knees, begging for forgiveness ten minutes ago. But she was Naoki—myOki. And she didn’t deserve to be punished.

What I did was punishment enough. She was fragile. People didn’t create walls, and boxes, and rules and cry in their dreams without reason. She was delicate. I handled her with care for that purpose alone. Tonight, I completely ignored the fragile sticker that only I could see because I couldn’t move past my own fragility. I almost broke her. I didn’t just walk into the room and find her somewhat decent without a dick in her mouth. I found her on the brink of completely shattering and that was because of me. I didn’t take pleasure in that.

“Eyes open, cheri,” I whispered as she arched her back.

“No—”

“Eyes... Open,” I demanded, circling her clit with my thumb. She opened them and I bit down on my bottom lip with a grunt. “Uh huh.”

The minute her eyes met mine, I was stuck. Mesmerized not only by her beauty but ‘everything’ that lied beneath it. We stayed connected like that for a while. Eye to eye. Her moaning, me caressing the velvety, creamy walls of her pussy.

After a minute, I stopped playing in her pussy and just… stayed there. Not because I wanted to. I was mesmerized. Completely. Trapped... in whatever web she had me in. I wondered if she hadn’t looked away because she was stuck too. She didn’t go scrambling for them weak ass walls. She just... let me be. Let us be. Naoki didn’t do this. She never let me stay long. However, tonight was different. Tonight, she let me stay and time stood still. Time stood still and everything in and outside of the room disappear. Nothing existed. Nothing but us. I wasn’t sure if I was even breathing. I was in a trance. Stuck. The feeling was euphoric. Intoxicating. A high like I’d never experienced before, and a nigga had smoked some of the best weed.

“Did you take enough?” She whispered before turning her head to look away.

Gripping her chin, I turned her head and forced her eyes back to me. “Not yet.”

I leaned down, kissed her, and the fingers inside of her came alive again. Closing my eyes, I relished in the sounds her pussy made. She wrapped her arms around my neck, deepened the kiss, and moaned into my mouth. Mèd. This fucking woman. Slowly, I pulled my fingers from that pulsating puddle between her legs and brought them up to my lips to suck them clean.

Of course I hadn’t taken enough. I wanted everything. Wanted to devour every part of her. I wasn’t satisfied with bits and pieces, I wanted all of it. The thing about that was, I always wanted it. There wasn’t a time that I didn’t want it. Even in the middle of having it, I wanted more. She made me greedy. My hunger for Naoki was and always would be insatiable. Now especially, since I knew that once this moment ended, I’d die hungry for her.

I took my time. Gave her slow, deliberate kisses on the side of her neck that made her moan. She gripped the back of my neck, and I kissed her again, hungry for the sound of her too. I didn’t lie when I said I wanted it all. Every sound. Every stroke of her soft hands against my skin. Every little detail was stored into my mental for safekeeping to untuck for the times I would miss her most. Which would be every fucking day. Every got damn hour on the hour. Minute on the minute. Second on the second.

I was fuckin’ obsessed. Nah. I wasn’t just obsessed. I loved her. I didn’t know much about it, but what I did know was that if I was given a choice, I would always choose her, regardless of who she was up against. Exactly as she was. Night terrors, feeble walls, bad attitude, and all. That was evidence enough.

I knew for a minute. Just had a hard ass time admitting it—even if it was to myself. Tonight, I said fuck it and threw in the white flag. Decided to surrender. I couldn’t fight it anymore. Tonight, my feelings were loud as fuck. I wore them on my skin. I didn’t just want her to see how much I loved her. I wanted her to feel it. Wanted the air to be thick with it. And when we kissed, I wanted her to taste it. I wanted to be very clear about the way I felt about Naoki Childs. And I would be. Eventually, she wouldn’t be the only one to feel me; everyone would. However, this moment was about us. I had to savor it... hold on to it for as long as I could. Because I knew Naoki well enough to know that once the night ended, there wouldn’t be another one like it again.

I was the villain, remember?

With that knowledge, the only choice I had was to take my time. I had to savor every little moment. So, when I touched her, I felt her. When I kissed her, I kissed her. Licked my lips each time so her taste would excite my tastebuds and send the memory straight to that little keepsake box in my brain. I never wanted to forget what she tasted like. I wondered if she knew. Wondered if she could feel just how deliberate every tongue swipe across her skin had been.

She went for my belt buckle. I stopped her. I didn’t want my dick sucked. Didn’t give a fuck about that. This was about her. I was studying her. Intentionally tracing my tongue over every single piece of skin I could. Counting moles and those tiger stripes too. I said I didn’t want to forget... didn’t I?

She sat up on her elbows and went for my belt buckle, again.

“Lay down.”

“Oh, but I can’t suck?—”

“Not right now,” I interrupted as I came up out of my pants. “Lay down.”

She didn’t protest. I didn’t know if it was the moment, the look on my face, or the tone I gave her, but she shut her ass up and laid back down. I wanted us to stay where we were. I hadn’t mentioned them bitch ass niggas, and I didn’t want her to mention ol’ girl. None of them muthafuckas mattered. Nobody outside of this room mattered. They didn’t even fuckin’ exist. I wanted to stay here for a minute. Inside of the lil’ illusion I created. Slipping would ruin the moment. I didn’t want that. And neither did she. Naoki was just... she was rough around the edges. Vulnerability scared her. Shit... it scared me too but what scared me more than that was losing the moment too soon.

I positioned myself back between her legs. Gripping the back of the left one, I bent her knee just enough. She was panting again. Full of anticipation. Her pussy was... beautiful. Glistening. Creaming. Inviting. My dick wanted parts, but I couldn’t help myself. I had to taste her again.

So, I did.

The minute I swiped my tongue from the crack of her ass, down to that pretty little slit in her pussy, I groaned. Got damn she tasted good. She moaned. Grabbed the back of my head and gyrated her hips. Instead of pushing her hand away, I let her have her way. Let her take control. Wanted her to feed me. Five minutes in, she was shaking and gushing all over me again. Did I back away? Of course not. I stayed there until she was finished.

Once she was done, I pulled back with soft delicate kisses. A nigga was feverish. Almost didn’t want to stop. But... my dick. Shit was brick. It was so got damn hard it hurt.

That slide in was immaculate.

I relished in it. Sat there with my eyes closed. She tried to move. I grabbed her hips. Wanted her to stay still. She was warm, wet, tight. The way she hugged me. Fuck. The way she hugged me. I didn’t want to move. Didn’t want to let go. But time... time was fickle. I had taken up enough. I had shit to do. The night couldn’t end here. As bad as I wanted it to, I knew it couldn’t. So, I stroked.

And she moaned. Dug her nails into my back and pulled me closer. I laid on top of her, hiked her legs up and slid in deeper. Balls deep. She arched her back. I attacked her neck and brushed my hand over the top of her head. Her eyes were closed again. This time, I didn’t have to tell her to open them; she just did. And we connected… deeper than before.

There was something vaguely different about entering her tonight. It wasn’t about time slipping away from us. Time didn’t exist. It was something else. It was... that connection. It was potent. We were in sync. Almost as if we were one. I wondered if she felt it. If she could sense what I sensed. She felt it. Had to.

For the first time in my life, I was making love. There was a different rhythm to my stroke. A sensuality I didn’t know I possessed. A certain type of passion I didn’t know I could deliver. I was always a passionate nigga. I cared about making the women I laid with feel good. But this was different. This was absolute devotion. This was intimacy on a completely different level.

Her eyes filled with tears. And before one could fall, I reached over and brushed my thumb underneath her bottom lid. She closed her eyes and leaned into my touch. When her lips touched my hand, they moved. She didn’t speak. But the words she mouthed brushed against the creases of my palm, eloquently delivering words neither of us were ready to speak aloud.

I love you too, cheri.

About thirty minutes later,I was pulling into my driveway, and she was asleep, snoring right beside me. After we finished at Pandora’s, we showered in the connecting bathroom in silence. Didn’t go for another round. Didn’t talk about what happened. Just showered, threw the same shit back on and left. There was no tension. Just... a lot of fucking uncertainty lingering in the air. It only got worse on the ride down to the lobby. She was timid and antsy. The confidence that drew people in had diminished. When we got in the car, I didn’t play any music and she didn’t ask me to. She covered herself with her coat, reclined the chair and closed her eyes. She was out about five minutes into the trip. Shit was crazy but I appreciated silence over yelling.

After shifting the car into park and killing the engine, I leaned back against the headrest and just watched her. I didn’t want to wake her. Wanted to keep her just the way she was. Softly snoring and oblivious to reality. I was afraid that ‘tomorrow’ would come before sunrise and the illusion would dissipate. I wanted to bask in it. I only had a few hours before evidence of the new day would greet us. Waking her risked losing those hours. Hours could quickly turn into seconds and... I wasn’t ready. I never wanted time to end with Naoki.

She stirred a little. And then, she stirred a lot. And I waited. With a racing heart full of anticipation. Seconds later, she opened her eyes.

“What?” She groggily asked before sitting up to stretch. “Why are you staring at me like that? I have to pee. Where we at?”

My eyebrows shot up a little with surprise. “The crib,” I nonchalantly replied before undoing my seatbelt to reach over into the backseat for food I picked up on the way.

She yawned. “The crib? Who’s crib?”

I grabbed my phone, and opened the car door before saying, “Mine.”

She was quiet. Most likely thrown by us being at my house instead of hers. We never spent time at my place. I could count on one hand how many times she’d been to my spot. Any time she’d ask why we were always at her house, the excuse would be convenience. She worked a lot of hours, all of her work clothes were at her house, and she didn’t live but about ten minutes away from the hospital. Realistically, I made it seem that way because I didn’t want her in my space. Kept her out of it because I didn’t want what happened, to happened. Didn’t want her to get too close to me. Didn’t want feelings to get involved. But shit, look at how that turned out. Now, in my space was the only place I wanted her. Damn near wanted to snatch her out the whip and chain her ass to the bed.

The puzzled look on her face really had a nigga considering it, low key.

Jerking my head toward the opened door, I said, “Come on. I grabbed some coney on the way.”

At the mention of coney, she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out.

Smirking, I climbed out right after.

If it was one way to lure her ass in, it was with food. Coney especially. When we first met, she had a certain air about her. Elegance, femininity, and confidence oozed from her pores. I learned quick that she was nothing like any of the women I fucked with before her. She was a force. A take charge woman who went after what she wanted, set the ground rules, and demanded respect without having to make demands at all. But as time passed, we grew closer, and I got to know the real her. Who she hid behind that confidence, femininity, and elegance. Bit by bit, piece by piece, she let me in. Against her will, mostly. The walls she put up started to crumble, and I learned that she was a hood bitch at the core. One that couldn’t resist a good ass hood meal every now and then.

I hit the garage closer on the wall with my elbow and handed her the bag of food before unlocking the garage door into the house. When we made it inside, she sat the bag on the door-table, hung her coat up and slipped out of her shoes. A warm sensation of contentment washed over me. Told me I could chill. I could breathe easy. She was comfortable. She was good. We were good.

After putting my coat away and coming out of my shoes, I followed her down the short hallway that led into the connecting kitchen. Once we walked in, I hit the light switch and joined her at the island. She stood on one side, I stood on the other. The house was dead silent, with the exception of low humming coming from the refrigerator.

I dug into the bag and slid her tray of food and plastic wear over to her. She caught it, opened it, and glanced up at me with a light smile.

“Cheese fries light chili; just the way you like it,” I told her.

She glanced up at me with a snicker. “Chili fries with extra cheese, thank you very much.”

“Extra cheese on top and bottom. Might as well be cheese soup, cheri,” I countered.

“Whatever,” She said with a light laugh. “It’s not that much cheese.”

I nodded with my mouth turned down. “If you say so,” I replied before opening my tray of wings. “I don’t see how you can eat that shit.”

I wasn’t too big on coney. I didn’t care too much for American food in general. Growing up, ninety percent of the food we ate was traditional. I was raised here, but mom’s made sure we stayed connected to our roots.

Naoki pushed the fries around the tray and glanced up at me. “Nostalgia.” Our eyes briefly met, and she shrugged. “Takes me back to my childhood. The happy times, at least. Chili fries with extra cheese puts me right back on the east side of Detroit.” She ate a forkful and laughed. She placed a hand over her mouth and shook her head. “When we were sixteen... me and SiSi... we were about to jump the cashier. A grown ass woman. She had to be at least thirty. She was usually a sweetheart, but she snapped on me and I cursed her ass out. Next thing I know, she’s snatching her apron off, telling me to see her outside. The owner stopped her from coming from behind the counter.” Grunting with a light smirk she continued. “Shit, he saved her life.” Her gaze drifted off and the smile on her face lightly faded. “I had a blade on me. I would have cut her with no hesitation.”

I sat on the barstool and dipped my wing in the container of hot sauce. “A blade?”

She looked over at me and nodded. “A boxcutter. It was rusty.” She paused again and took a deep breath before putting her eyes back on her tray. “But it would have for sure done damage.”

“Fuck were you doin’ with a boxcutter?” I asked with a light laugh. “You was one of them ones, hmm?”

“One of what?” She asked ignoring the first part of the question, with her eyes on her tray.

“A scrapper. Got into a lot of fights. You and sis was ‘round that bitch wildin’?”

She glanced up at me again before looking back down into her tray of food. She couldn’t look at me. Not for long. After earlier, it fucked with me but at least she was giving me something I didn’t think she would. Conversation. Intimate conversation, at that. I didn’t get that often. Naoki kept those feeble walls up and me out of her childhood. She never talked about it. Watching her eyes light up at the mention of nostalgia and chili cheese fries made me smile. Made me feel closer to her, which was fucked up, considering I knew that when tomorrow officially came, there would be distance between us. Distance I’d have to learn to respect.

“I didn’t get into a lot of fights,” she said with a light giggle. “Everybody loved me.”

“I bet they did,” I added staring at her.

She avoided my eyes, although she knew they were calling out to her. I wanted to connect. Needed to. Wanted to see that twinkle again. Wanted to steal a piece of teenaged Naoki on her trip down memory lane.

“Who was the blade for then?” I pressed with my eyes steady locked on her after she went silent.

The silence unsettled me. I needed the conversation to keep flowing. The more we talked, the realer this felt. This illusion. Felt like we could be us again. I couldn’t remember the last time we did this. Talked over cheap ass hood food, just vibing. The conversation was never this personal. She did the most talking though. Mainly about work. Usually I’d spark a blunt. That was the only thing missing. I needed to roll up.

She glanced up at me and I searched her eyes for that twinkle. Except it was gone. There was a vagueness behind them that told me the question put her somewhere else. Took her to a place that wasn’t as nostalgically pleasing as memories of trips to coney island with SiSi.

“Someone else,” she flatly replied after a couple of seconds of silence.

She shifted her eyes away from mine and put them back on her food. I watched as she sat there, staring into the tray for a couple minutes. The silence was thick. The temperature in the room switched and I was uneasy again. Not because I was concerned about the illusion. But because I was concerned about her. She wasn’t with me. Mentally, she was someplace else. I leaned forward a bit to get a look at her face. Needed to see her eyes. They were lifeless. Empty. Almost. Tears swam in them. Pooled at the edge of them, inching at the rim.

“Oki,” I softly called out.

She looked up at me with raised brows. “Hmm?”

“Where that trip take you, amou?” I asked with genuine concern. The tears in her sad eyes fucked with me.

She placed her hands between her legs and her shoulders slightly raised. That tension steady building. She took a deep breath and got up from the barstool. I stood up right after. Really thinking about grabbing them chains to strap her ass to the bed. “Nowhere. I... I need to?—”

“I know,” I interrupted. “Stay. Just... a little longer, aight? Give me until sunrise. When the sun comes up you can?—”

She looked over her shoulder at me with a frown. “You don’t have to chase me, Saint. I need to pee... remember? I’m not leaving.” She paused and shifted her eyes to her ringing phone before snatching it from the island to silence it.

I awkwardly chuckled and brushed a hand over the top of my head. “I’m not chasin’ yo ass, girl.”

She snorted and turned away. I leaned my back against the island and watched her continue out of the kitchen. When she was out, I tossed my head back and put my eyes on the ceiling. Fuck. My heart was racing. I was chasing her. The woman made me fuckin’ crazy.

“Kaka,” I mumbled with a deep breath before pushing away from the island.

I turned around, pulled the middle drawer to the island opened and grabbed a couple grams of OG from the stash. After grabbing the backwood, I closed the drawer and sat next to the stool Naoki got up from.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, reminding me that I had someplace to be. I shifted my eyes over at the stove to check the time and decided to ignored the call. I still had time.

A couple of minutes later, she walked back into the kitchen. I noticed the redness in her puffy eyes as soon as I looked at her. I wanted to mention it, but I figured it was best to leave it alone. Looking away, I sparked fire to the blunt, took a couple pulls and passed it to her once she sat beside me. She sighed and pulled from it. I watched as she tossed her head back with closed eyes and pulled from it again. There were tears sitting behind her eyes and because I knew her, I knew she couldn’t open them. Not with me watching. So, I leaned forward and grabbed my tray of food to pay attention to something other than her. Gave her room to go through her shit without the added pressure. And when she quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand before passing the blunt back to me, I pretended not to notice.

“You mumbled something in Creole earlier at Pandora’s. What did it mean?” She asked after I passed the blunt to her.

I turned and looked at her. “Padone’m?”

She turned to face me. “Yes.”

I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, with hesitation.

“Forgive me,” I finally responded, with my eyes locked on hers. “It means forgive me.”

Did I think she’d forgive me? Fuck no.

I didn’t deserve forgiveness. What I’d done... the way I’d mishandled her... it was unforgiveable. There was no coming back from what I did.

She didn’t say anything. I didn’t expect her to. That eerie silence was back. The longer we sat in it the more the illusion began to dissipate, the harder it would be to avoid that conversation.

An hour and a half later,she was asleep again. Except this time, she was in my bed. After we ate, we smoked, talked and somehow I ended up between her legs again. I didn’t know what the fuck tonight was. I figured shit, maybe she was on the same type of time I was on. Appreciating the moment while we had it. Allowing the illusion to be what it was until we couldn’t let it be anymore. We never spoke about what happened. Didn’t need to. The silence after I told her what padone’m meant, though quiet was loud enough.

She was asleep and I was parked at Pandora’s rear entrance pulling from a blunt, with my eyes locked on the purple, fluorescent box hanging in a window at the very top of the building. I slouched down further into my seat and rested my head against the window to get at a perfect angle. The fuck I gave about that illusion an hour and some change ago seized to exist.

Who I was then... I wasn’t that nigga anymore. The focus had shifted to the sad ass brown eyes that stared up at me when I walked into that room. The sadness I noticed when I had Blondie on her knees and when I walked into that room, differed. Completely. Back in that room, Naoki was empty. She was a shell of who I knew her as and that shit fucked with me.

I ran my hand over the top of my head and pulled on my blunt. My family would be disappointed. Jahad especially. There was a certain standard I had to live by. I couldn’t post up masked up, dressed in all black, with a full clip. I didn’t get my hands dirty anymore. Couldn’t. It was too much of a risk. But did I give a fuck, though? Fuck no. Stopped giving a fuck the minute I walked into that room.

When I walked in, the focus was her. When she was in any room, the focus would always be her. I had a way of compartmentalizing. I was strategic and handled things accordingly. If this was a different situation, I would have sat on it. Would have sent a few trusted men to handle what needed to be handled. But this was delicate. This wasn’t business. This was personal.

My phone vibrated. I didn’t touch it. Left it where it was in the passenger seat. Instead, I groaned, sat up, put the blunt out, and pulled the shiesty mask up over the bottom half of my face. Brushing by the phone, I grabbed the nine.

Shit. I couldn’t remember the last time I was on a mission. Low key, shit felt good. For the first time in a while, I understood why Blaise couldn’t get with the corporate shit. I sympathized with him. It was hard to separate from the roots because this shit... the thrill of it... the adrenaline rush... it made my dick hard. Was it the adrenaline? Or the pleasure I would get from doing to them, what they did to her? Violate. That’s what they did. Didn’t see it that way? Of course not. Most muthafuckas wouldn’t. People would look at that situation and speculate all of the wrong type of shit.

Naoki was promiscuous. A freak bitch dressed ready to fuck. She was a dick eatin’ slut that wanted to be fucked by three niggas. She invited them up to her suite. It was consensual. And who was I? Shit. Her jealous ass ‘boyfriend’ who couldn’t accept the fact that he’d cuffed a rat ass bitch who liked to have trains ran on her. I had low self-esteem. Dick was probably on midget. I was jealous so... I did what? Brought my lame ass down here with a full clip and committed triple homicide behind my bruised ego.

That shit was crazy.

The shit people would make up.

The shit people would assume.

It would be wrong. All of it. Not just the shit about me—the shit about us. What we had wasn’t that fucking black and white. It wasn’t simple. Who we were... the way I felt. My why. It wasn’t about possession or any of that shit.

She was empty. A nigga didn’t need the eyes I saw her with to see the shit because they could feel it. Her body spoke the words she didn’t have the courage to. And body language—that type of body language especially—is the kind that all men speak. But see... they continued anyway... because she promised them pussy. And if she didn’t say stop, or no, to them that meant keep going. They disregarded the lifelessness behind her beautiful sad brown eyes and kept tryin’ to fuck anyway. And because of that, I had the same disregard for their lives. Fair exchange.

The minute I put my eyes back on that purple box, the light went out and I sat up. Tossing the hood of my plain black hoodie over my head, I hit the unlock button and got out of the whip. Stuffing my hands into the front pocket of the hoodie, I made my way around to the front of the building. It was late. The club closed over an hour ago, so there were only a couple of cars in the lot. Because Pandora’s had top tier customer service, Malcolm, Keith, and Branden were given extra time to enjoy themselves on the eleventh floor with a Princess of their choosing. I mean shit that was the least I could do for them. I did ruin their night.

Before I got to the front of the building, I heard them talking. They were happy. Talking like they were best friends. Chopping it up about all the wild shit they had their Princess do. Cornball ass niggas. I wasn’t one to judge. People had their kinks, but I had true hate in my heart for these niggas. Shit got worst when the conversation flipped to her.

And then, suddenly, the plan... it was changed. The plan I had to be quick and smooth… it went out of the fucking window. What was it with me and plans tonight?

“That bitch wasn’t about that shit for real anyway. You felt how tensed she was?”

“She talked a good ass game though,” said another one with a laugh. “I can’t even lie. She had me thinkin’ she was about to eat dick all muthafuckin’ night.”

“Mannnn she wasn’t trying to eat shit. We got in that room and what she do? Swallow the whole bottle of liq. Weird ass bitch. Every time I tried to get to the pussy, she kept closing her legs. I was bout ready to just force them bitches open like... ‘give me that shit bitch. Ain’t nobody about to be playin with you.’.”

They laughed. He laughed first but then the other two joined in as if the nigga wasn’t talking about rape. Oh. Aight, then.

I slowed my pace. Waited for them to meet me in the parking lot. The sounds of their voices grew as they got closer. I pulled my hands from my pockets and eagerly brushed my finger against the trigger as I waited. Still, they were talking. Laughing and talking. Didn’t know about what. Didn’t know if they were still on her. Didn’t give a fuck really. I’d heard enough. The only thing I could think of was the shit they said before. About her body language. They knew. Niggas… we always fuckin know. Like I said before… body language was a language we all spoke. Especially when we were about to slide in pussy. Some niggas listened, then you had niggas like the pussies heading my way… that just did not give a fuck.

They rounded the corner and jumped back when they saw me.

“Shit nigga, you scared the fuck?—“

When I pulled my hood off and lowered my mask he shut the fuck up. All three of them did. That wasn’t a part of the plan. I was supposed to be in and out. Was supposed to get close enough, shoot, and walk away. But… I had to show ‘em. I needed them to see me. Wanted them to feel me. Remember? Would it count when that very memory would be on the ground with the rest of their memories, at the end of all this shit? Nah, not really. But it wasn’t about them remembering. It was about them feelingme.

Probably should have stuck to the plan. If I would have, it wouldn’t have given one of them time to run off. Fuck it. He could run. Before the other two could run off, I upped, aimed and pulled the trigger. One at a time. One in each head. The precision was immaculate. Before their bodies could hit the pavement, I was on the other nigga. He was busy, fumbling through his pocket for keys he wouldn’t find because my nigga, Greg, swiped ‘em for me. Pandora’s was my shit, remember? Technically it was Em’s, but it was just as much as mine as it was hers.

He stumbled.

Yelled for help. No one would answer. We were in midtown Detroit, at three in the fucking morning. It was decent out this way, but niggas minded their fuckin’ business. No one would save him. He knew that. Niggas just… when shit got wicked, and death was on ‘em they got desperate.

I upped blick, pulled, and shot him in the back. Because he wasted my time, I decided, fuck it… I’ll play with em a little bit. I shouldn’t have. I really, truly should have stuck to the plan. But I didn’t like this nigga. Hated him most. He was the one who talked about how he should have taken it. And that shit… it really pissed me off. Hearing them talk, listening to them disrespect her… it did something to me. Fucked me up. Did something to my brain chemistry. Made me forget who I was. Made me forget the risk.

I slowed my pace. I didn’t see a need to rush. I could?—

Blah!

Before I could get to him, there a single gunshot was fired that stopped me in my tracks.