Chapter 13
I watch Willow sleep,finding peace in knowing she feels safest with me close. I love that she trusts me. She might not feel so safe if she could see inside my mind because my thoughts aren”t entirely pure. Especially after what I overheard downstairs. Knowing she”d happily get on her knees for me had my cock so hard I thought it would burst free of my pants to show her how on board I was with that plan.
I have no right to feel that way. I was already possessive of her, and now I”m nearly feral with the desire to keep her and make her mine forever. It”s a struggle to push those thoughts away. I need to focus on getting the women settled in their new homes, taking down the trafficking ring, and finding Damon Savada.
It”s been my goal for so long, and I don”t need Willow distracting me. It would be selfish of me to follow through with any of my desires. Willow”s happiness and doing what”s best for her is all that matters.
While Willow sleeps, I start making arrangements for Lucy to go home. The faster that woman is gone, the better. I don”t like that she upset my Beauty even though her bitchiness was the catalyst for Willow admitting she would be happy to be mine. It”s a blessing and a curse to know that she wants to be mine. There”s no way she feels the same way I feel, though. She sees me as her hero and feels safe with me. It doesn”t go deeper than that for her; I need to keep reminding myself of that. Making a move on her would be taking advantage of her in a way that would make me no better than the men who took her from her life.
Willow whimpers in her sleep and shifts restlessly. Her brow furrows, showing her distress. I run my fingers lightly over her furrowed brow. Some of the tension leaks away, but she”s still restless.
I stroke her hair until she sinks back into a peaceful sleep. I don”t stop touching her. It”s a necessity to care for her. I need to take care of her. I might not be able to keep her, but for now, she”s mine, and I will worship her.
I finish coordinating Lucy”s departure with Amy, a brilliant hacker. Amy is one of the many women I”ve helped over the years and wanted to stay and help others like her. Lucy will be on a plane to California by noon tomorrow. Usually, we move slower to make sure the women we save make the right choice, but getting Lucy”s negativity out of here is motivating us to get her gone faster. Good riddance.
Willow is still asleep when Gladys quietly knocks and lets herself in two hours later.
”Well, that was fun…”
”They give you a hard time?” I keep my voice low so I don”t wake Willow.
”Only the bitchy one. She decided to join our conversation. That girl is a real piece of work,” Gladys says with a disgusted look.
It”s surprising because Gladys is the kindest person I know. She”s endlessly patient and does anything and everything to help the women who come into her care. I”ve never seen her dislike someone so intensely. It makes me feel even better about my decision to fast-track Lucy”s ass out of here.
”She”ll be out of our hair tomorrow. Did everyone else decide where they”re going to go?”
”They did. Tabitha and Lexis decided to go to Nevada. Stacia decided to go to California… I”m giving you one guess as to why,” Gladys says, rolling her eyes. ”Reghan is going to Seattle. She seemed happy to put as many miles from herself and here as possible. Her only question was what the furthest location away from here was. I got the feeling that if we had a Hope House in Alaska, she would”ve been prepared to take a dogsled to get there.”
”Are any of them in the right frame of mind to tell me what they know about the organization and how they got to Mecca and the mansion?”
Gladys thinks for a minute. ”Tabitha is a fighter. I think she”ll be happy to help in any way she can. Lexis is reserved, but she”s also incredibly grateful to us for helping her out and giving her the opportunity to start a new life, so she will definitely help, too. Reghan is fragile. Questioning her could be traumatic for her.”
”Then I won”t push her, but I”ll give her the opportunity to talk if she”d like to. Her well-being is our priority. We can get information in other ways,” I say easily.
It”s not a hard decision because I love getting information the hard way. Using my skills to extract information from the people guilty of such atrocities is immensely satisfying. Paying them back for the things they do to innocent women and children gives me a perverse amount of joy.
”What about your girl? Do you know what she wants to do?”
”No, not yet.”
”I want to stay here,” Willow says quietly.
”Hon, this is just a stopping point, not somewhere you can stay. It”s too chaotic here for anyone to recover,” Gladys says regretfully.
”Not here here. I want to stay with Kisten.”
Her words hit with the power of an atomic bomb. My heart stutters as her words play on a loop in my head. She can”t mean what she said. There”s no way she really wants to stay with me. She deserves a fresh start, not to be with a man like me. If she stays, I won”t be able to help myself. I will own her. Someone as dark and violent as me can”t give her what she needs in the long run. Despite my desire to keep her, I know I can”t be that selfish.
”Beauty—” I start, but she cuts me off.
”I want to help you take down the bastards that tortured me,” she says fiercely. Her eyes burn with anger. I can see the same fire that was present when she attacked me like a hellcat. It”s fucking sexy as hell, and I”m disgusted with myself and by how hard my cock is at that show of ferocity.
”Wilow, hon, that”s not an option. It”s too dangerous,” Gladys says before I get the chance to respond.
She”s not wrong. I hate the idea of giving her up. Knowing that she wants to stay and punish the people who stole years of her life makes keeping her all the more tempting. But then I remember seeing her stumbling towards me in the woods covered in blood and how gutted I was when I thought she was hurt. Then she fainted in my arms and spent hours unconscious.
Every minute was torture as I waited for her to wake up. Then there”s all the bruises marring her pale skin. The handprints around her delicate neck are a sickening reminder that she could have died in those woods before I got to her.
I would have gone back to the mansion and burned it to the ground, no matter the consequences. I never make rash decisions, but all bets are off when it comes to Willow. I”ll do anything to protect her and avenge her. Making the people who hurt her pay is my new life goal. Savada still needs to die, but for the first time ever, I have something else driving my need for vengeance.
”I don”t care if it”s dangerous. I can fight. You saw me fight,” she says, jutting her chin out with a stubbornness I shouldn”t find so attractive.
I like my women submissive. Absolute control is what I crave, and I know Willow will never give me that after everything she”s survived. I would be a real bastard if I gave in to my desires. I would never risk retraumatizing her. No, she can never be mine the way I crave. No matter what, I will always do what is best for her.
”There”s no question that you”re fierce, beauty. You”re a fighter for sure, but what I do isn”t self-defense. I won”t put you in danger.”
She narrows her eyes. ”I can handle it. I”m well trained. Plus, I can give you more information than any of the other women here. I know a lot about Mecca and all the important people there. You need my help.”
”You don”t have to put yourself in a dangerous situation to help with information,” Gladys argues. ”Besides, you need time to get healthy. You would be a liability in your current condition.”
Willow growls with annoyance. I force myself not to smile at how adorable she is. I know that showing my amusement would be a bad move. She would hate to think I”m underestimating her when that”s the furthest thing from the truth.
”I will be fine in a few more days. All I need is a little rest and regular meals. I can hold my own.”
Gladys throws her hands in the air in frustration. ”Talk some sense into her,” she says, leaving the room in a huff.
”Don”t try to change my mind,” Willow warns. ”I”m doing this with or without your help.”
I have no doubt she means it. If I turn her away, she”ll just find a way to get vengeance on her own. If she does that, she”ll get into trouble trying to save the world alone. If I keep her with me, I can keep her safe. It”s a feeble excuse. I could keep her away if I wanted.
It would be a dick move to lock her away somewhere safe when I just promised her freedom. It”s what I should do. I absolutely shouldn”t be thinking that in keeping her here with me, I would have an opportunity to make her mine forever. The truth is, if she stays, there will be no escaping me. I”m already obsessed, and that obsession is growing stronger every minute.
”Are you sure that”s really what you want? You have the chance at a new life. What about your family? You could go home…”
Her eyes close, and she lets out a shaky breath. A single tear trails down her cheek. I cup her face and wipe the tear away with my thumb. She presses her face into my palm, soaking up the comfort I”m offering.
”Talk to me, beauty. Tell me what”s going on in that head of yours.”
”I”ve been gone a long time. My dad likely moved on with his life. I”m not his little girl anymore.”
”Beauty, it doesn”t work like that. He”ll still want to know you”re safe even if he has moved on. You”ll always be his little girl. That never changes for good fathers.”
”What if he died? Right now, I live in a world where he”s alive and living a good life, even if it is without me. If I look for him and find out he”s gone… I can”t handle that. Just thinking about it breaks my heart.”
”You don”t have to look for him until you”re ready. If you go to Hope House and later decide to find him, that”s okay. You can take all the time you need. Everything moves at your pace.”
”I”m not going to Hope House. I won”t let you send me away,” she says stubbornly.
”I don”t think you understand what you”re asking. We aren”t having these people arrested. We kill everyone involved. We torture them for information before we end them as painfully as possible.”
”Good. I want that. I want them to pay with their lives. They deserve every ounce of pain. Nothing you do to them will be enough punishment.”
I can”t say I hate this bloodthirsty side of her. My dick likes it way too fucking much. ”Willow?—”
”You can”t send me away. You own me. You bought me. I”m yours.”
I groan. Fuck. I can”t seem to erase the visual of her down on her knees like she told that bitch downstairs. Owning her, collaring her, having her skin kissed pink by my hands, her body writhing underneath me in pleasure. I”ve never wanted a woman as badly as I want her.
”I did that to save you.”
”The result is the same. I”m yours.”
”If you stay, I can”t guarantee I will ever let you leave. Are you prepared to take that risk? I”m not a good man. I might save women, but that doesn”t make me a good man. It makes me an asshole, but I want to keep you. I want to make you mine. It won”t take much to convince me, so you need to be sure,” I admit.
”You are a good man. I believe that with everything I am,” she says without any doubt.
”The fact that I”m considering letting you stay says otherwise. Wanting to own you like you claim makes me a fucking monster.”