Savage Desires (Black Rose Doms Book 3)

Chapter 14

His words reverberate through me,sending tingles over every inch of my skin. I should be disgusted. Terrified. All I feel is a low pulsing of need. It”s an unknown feeling, but I don”t hate it. I feel so safe with him close. He claims he”s a monster, but I can”t see him harming me. He”s been nothing but gentle with me. Even when I was fighting him, he didn”t hurt me. He easily could have, but he carefully restrained me while I did my best to hurt him.

”If you”re trying to scare me, it won”t work.” I keep eye contact so he knows that I”m serious.

He moves so fast I don”t have time to react before he”s looming over me, his hand wrapped around my throat firm but gentle, taking my bruises into consideration. Even now, he”s keeping me safe. The face of the man who tried to strangle me in the woods flashes behind my eyes, and I can almost smell the stench of cigarettes on his breath. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing. Kisten”s clean scent fills my senses, and the panic recedes.

I open my eyes and find him studying me closely. His hand is still firmly around my throat, but he”s stroking my bruised skin with his thumb soothingly. I relax into the pillows, showing him that I”m not afraid. I had a brief moment of fear, but I won”t let that experience take away my control. I”ve lived through worse, and this won”t be the thing that breaks me.

”I”m not scared of you,” I say quietly.

”Maybe you should be,” he says flatly.

I smile and push myself towards Kisten, making his hand push harder against my throat. The added pressure makes the bruised flesh ache, but I ignore the pain. If I want to stay with Kisten and help him take down the bastards running Mecca and the mansion, I have to prove I”m not afraid. I need to show him I”m stronger than he thinks and that I won”t back down no matter how hard he tries to push me away.

He keeps his hold steady but moves back so I can sit up. His dark eyes burn into me, showing me how much he wants me, even if he doesn”t think he should. I”ve seen that look on many faces over the years. I”ve always felt dread because that look promises cruelty. It was a threat that I couldn”t escape.

On Kisten?

It”s so much more. It”s a threat that promises me everything I never knew I wanted. I shouldn”t feel this way about anyone after what I”ve been through. I never thought I would feel desire. That part of me was broken when I was too young to even understand what genuine desire felt like. It”s a shock to discover that I can have these feelings.

I shouldn”t be excited by a hand around my throat or the intense way he”s looking at me. I should be ready to run far away from him, but I only want to crawl into his lap and feel those powerful arms around me again. The few moments at Mecca with him fueled days of sweet escape from darkness. Now he”s here, touching me, and I want more.

He slowly backs away as I push forward until he”s sitting on the bed beside me. A small voice in the back of my head whispers that I should stop, that I shouldn”t push him, but I ignore it. Instead, I continue moving until I”m straddling his lap. His hand drops from my neck to my hip. His grip is firm and possessive. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, scooting forward until my chest is flush against his. I can feel his hardness under me, and it feels good in an unfamiliar way. I fight the temptation to rock against him to feel even more of him.

”I trust you, Kisten.”

He lets out a low groan. One hand squeezes my hip, and the other moves up my back until his fingers are buried in my hair. I sigh because his hand in my hair feels fantastic. The way his strong fingers massage my scalp is damn near hypnotizing. I close my eyes and bury my face in the crook of his neck, enjoying the feel of him. I let out a sigh and relax, becoming putty in his arms.

”You shouldn”t,” he says roughly.

His words say one thing, but how he holds me says something different. He”s proving that my trust isn”t misplaced despite what he thinks. It doesn”t matter how hard he fights me; I”m not going anywhere.

”Too damn bad. If you didn”t want me, you shouldn”t have paid ninety-three thousand dollars for me.”

He releases my hip and bands his arm around my waist, his hand still massaging my scalp. I can feel his cock pulsing under me enticingly. I wiggle a little, but he tightens his hold, stopping me.

”My self-control only goes so far, love,” he growls. I should apologize, but I won”t. I love knowing he wants me. ”I bought you to save your life, Willow. Not so I could own you.”

”It doesn”t matter what your intentions were. You own me now. You gave us the freedom to choose our own futures. I”ve chosen mine. I want to be yours. I want to take down human traffickers with you.”

He sighs, and some of the tension in his body melts away. ”I”m going to Hell.”

I hide my smile on his shoulder. ”You won”t regret it. You”ll see. I can help.”

He squeezes me tighter, making the air woosh from my lungs. ”Nothing can happen to you, my beauty.”

I lightly kiss his cheek. ”You”ll keep me safe, and I”ll keep you safe.”

He lets out a rough breath and releases his hold on me. I sit up so I can see his face. He studies me like he”s trying to measure the validity of my words. I can understand why he has doubts. He probably thinks I”m crazy—maybe I am—but I know what I want. I”m not ready to return to my life before, and I can”t see myself with the kind of future they painted with Hope House. I want vengeance more than I want a peaceful place to heal.

My idea of healing is to make people pay for their sins. I can”t imagine sitting in some therapist”s office and talking about my trauma. It makes me want to scream just thinking about it. I don”t care if many of the people who work at Hope House are also survivors. Sure, they might be able to empathize with me, but they are people who get solace from talking everything out.

That”s not me.

My dad and I talked things out in the gym. Getting physical and training my body helps me work out my feelings. Talking has never been my thing. Not that my dad wouldn”t have talked to me about things; he always told me I could tell him anything, but hitting the punching bag was way more therapeutic than talking. I can only imagine how good it will feel to punish the ones responsible for everything that”s been done to me.

”Say you”ll keep me,” I murmur, begging him with my eyes.

”You”ll be mine forever,” he growls. He says it like a threat, but I only hear the promise of belonging and safety.

”Forever,” I whisper.

I press my lips to his, sealing the promise with a kiss. His lips against mine feel incredible. Soft yet firm. I start pulling away, but Kisten lets out a low growl, fists my hair, and takes my lips in a devastatingly passionate kiss. Using his grip on my hair, he tilts my head to deepen the kiss. His tongue swipes over my bottom lip, and I part my lips for him. He doesn”t hesitate to dive in, stroking my tongue with his.

I match his passion. Kissing him back just as furiously. My body feels like it”s burning up. It”s such a foreign feeling, and I want more. His cock is hard. All it takes is a slight shift of my hips to have him press against my pussy. My whole body lights up at how amazing that simple motion feels. What would it feel like to have more?

I”m sure someone on the outside looking in would see this as wrong. I should be traumatized and want to stay far away from everything sexual, but I”ve spent years telling myself I”m no one”s victim. I”m a survivor, and that means I get to choose how I want to live. Right now, I want to kiss Kisten and feel my body heat with desire. He breaks the kiss, and I whimper because I”m not ready for it to end.

”You”re going to be the death of me.”

”What a way to go, though,” I smirk.

He slaps my ass, making me gasp. ”Behave, or I”ll show you what happens to naughty girls.”

A shiver trails up my spine at the threat. I”m not sure that I”d mind being his naughty girl. I liked him calling me his good girl, but naughty girl is a close second. I pout when he gently picks me up off his lap and sets me on my feet in front of him. The serious look on his face has me biting back my protest.

”This is it for you, beauty. From now on, you”re mine. I”ll give you everything you need. You”ll be my spoiled princess, but I won”t hesitate to punish you if you break the rules,” he says, his tone firm.

”I want to be yours. I”ll be good.”

He smirks. ”Somehow, I doubt that you”re capable of being good all the time.”

I shrug. ”I”ll follow the rules when it really counts.”

He narrows his eyes. ”You”ll deeply regret it if you break a rule that puts you in danger. I”m going to let you help me because I sense that it”s what you need, but you put yourself in unnecessary danger, and you”ll regret it.”

My heart pounds in my chest at the seriousness of that threat. I don”t know how he”ll punish me, and I”m not sure I want to find out what he”d do if I broke that rule. Not that I will. I won”t be stupid. I know what he does is dangerous, and confronting the people who treated me like property isn”t safe. I know better than most what they are capable of. I won”t risk being imprisoned again… or worse. Now that I”m free, I want to have a life even if it”s not what”s expected of someone who”s been through what I have.

”Dinner is ready downstairs. I need to talk to the others and get whatever information they might have.”

I nod. ”I want to be there.”

”Okay, beauty.”

He leads me out of the room and to the stairs. I can see that he wants to carry me again. I love that he”s so worried about me, but I have to show him I”m stronger and not a liability. I hold the banister tightly as I make my way downstairs. Kisten patiently follows me, hovering like he”s ready to scoop me up if needed. At the bottom of the stairs, I wrap my arms around him in a hug. He doesn”t hesitate to return my embrace. Instead of letting me go completely, he keeps his arm around me as we enter the dining room.

The food is set up the same as before. Everything smells so good, and my stomach growls hungrily. He holds my plate and watches as I fill it. My mouth waters at the various selections of pasta. My plate is practically overflowing with lasagna, alfredo, toasted ravioli, and chicken parmesan. I balance two breadsticks on top of everything. Kisten says nothing about the amount of food on my plate, even though he knows he”ll be eating what I don”t finish.

I”m half in love with him just because he”s willing to do something that sweet. He gets me settled at the table and then makes his own plate. The other women chat as they eat and surreptitiously watch my interactions with Kisten. He has his hand on my thigh under the table, which makes me feel claimed and safe.

I can tell the others are confused and maybe slightly worried, but I don”t care. When all is said and done, they don”t matter. We aren”t friends. Sure, we”re bonded by our experiences, and our escape wasn”t easy, but we don”t really know each other. They are each going off to one of the Hope House locations or home to their family, and I”m staying behind to dole out some vigilante justice.

”When everyone”s done eating, I want to speak with you individually. It”s important that I gather as much information as possible about the trafficking ring,” Kisten says.

Tabitha and Lexis seem okay with meeting with Kisten. Reghan looks ashen at the thought. She stops eating, instead pushing her food around her plate while completely lost in thought. Stacia is oblivious to how important it is for Kisten to get information and Lucy is completely uninterested in helping.

So, it”s basically exactly what I expected. Tabitha might have some information on what happens at Mecca but not nearly as much insight as I do. It”s worth the effort to see what she knows, and Lexis is the only one of us who spent time at the mansion. She helped us escape, so she knows things to help us in our quest to shut them down.

I eat so much that my stomach aches. Kisten slides my half-full plate in front of him without a word and starts eating what I didn”t finish. All of the others look at me with varying looks of confusion and surprise—not that I can blame them. It”s pretty insane that a man like Kisten would treat a woman like me with so much kindness and consideration. It makes my heart race, knowing that a strong and capable man sees me as something other than a weak victim.

Gladys and another woman who looks just like her, only much younger, come in and start clearing plates. I assume it”s her daughter.

”Willow, this is my daughter Annie. She brought your new things up to your room for you,” Gladys says, confirming my suspicions.

”Thank you,” I tell Annie, making sure she sees how grateful I am for everything they”ve done for me.

”You”re welcome. I hope you like what I picked for you,” she says with a big smile and a wink.

”I”m sure it”s great. I hope you didn”t go overboard. I really don”t need much.”

She pats my shoulder. ”I would never go overboard.”

She says the right thing, but how her eyes dance with mischief makes me think otherwise. A wave of unease fills me at the thought of being unable to repay them for everything they”ve done. I”ve had owners who had expectations for everything they gave me. Anything from food to clothes came at a price. I don”t want to owe them anything, and I don”t want to take advantage of their kindness. They”ve done so much for me already. It seems unfair to ask for more.

”Who would like to talk first?” Kisten asks.

No one wants to volunteer at first. Tabitha must decide to set the example because she stands up with a stubborn set to her shoulders. She”s so strong. I have faith that she will come out the other side of all of this just fine. I can tell she”s determined to make the most of everything they are offering. She”s dealing with things so much better than the others. Even though Lexis seems okay, she”s quiet and reserved. It”s hard to get a read on her.

Kisten leads us to an office. Instead of sitting at the desk, he picks a wingback chair across from an oversized couch. I wish he would”ve sat on the couch so that we could be closer. I don”t like the distance, even though it”s only a few feet, and I”m looking right at him. From the look on his face, I can tell he doesn”t like the distance either. I want to crawl onto his lap, but I resist.

He dives right into questioning Tabitha. He asks her many probing questions about how Mecca is run and whether she knows anything about the people in charge. With every answer, he looks at me as if he”s asking me to confirm the information. I give discreet nods or shakes of my head in response.

It”s funny how we were both at Mecca at the same time—living the same life—and her information is wildly different. I know I have insider information because of Georgie”s access. Still, some of the stuff Tabitha is saying is entirely inaccurate.

Kisten thanks her for answering his questions and asks if she needs anything else before she relocates to Hope House. She declines and thanks him for everything he”s done. Her gratefulness is refreshing after dealing with Lucy”s attitude. I”m glad she realizes the gift she”s been given. I can only hope the best for her future.

Stacia is next, and as I expected, she knows nothing of value. Kisten doesn”t ask her if she needs anything else; he just thanks her for answering his questions and asks her to send Lucy in next.

Lucy is even less helpful. In fact, she makes up crazy stories about the man who runs Mecca and how she was his favorite slave to torture. She goes on and on about guard schedules and who her clients were. Some of the men she mentions are famous actors from L.A. who wanted to punish her father for refusing to represent them. She”s convinced they orchestrated her kidnapping.

I didn”t like Lucy to begin with, but I hate her with a burning passion now. There are plenty of shitty men in the world. There”s no need to ruin the reputations of good ones. Many famous people frequent Mecca, but it”s doubtful any of the ones she mentioned did what she claims. Kisten dismisses her with a terse reminder to be ready at nine to get to the airport on time for her flight.

”You should”ve sent her to L.A. on the fucking bus with dozens of stops and long layovers,” I say with malice.

Kisten chuckles. ”Just because she”s flying doesn”t mean she will be traveling in comfort. I booked her a coach ticket with a middle seat. She has three stopovers. Two long layovers and one so short she will have to run across the airport to make it to her connecting flight.”

I giggle because that will be absolutely miserable for her. I shouldn”t get pleasure from that, but I totally do.

Reghan comes in next, looking terrified. Kisten asks her how she”s doing and if she has any questions about Hope House. She answers quietly; not once does she look up from her clenched hands. My heart flutters at how calm and gentle he”s being with her. It”s completely different from how he was with the others and shows how in tune he is with their needs. He said he”s not a good man but keeps showing me otherwise.

”Is there anything you”d like to tell me about Mecca and how you got there?”

She squeezes her hands tighter, wringing them. ”My dad sold me to the Russians to pay his gambling debt. I don”t know much except that Mecca is run by the Russian Bratva here in New York City.

”Before they brought me to Mecca, I was held in some kind of warehouse. I”m not sure where it is because they kept me blindfolded whenever they moved me, but I could hear horns from big ships and train whistles sometimes.”

”Thank you. That”s extremely helpful,” Kisten says kindly.

”I don”t want any more people to suffer because of them…”

”I won”t stop until they are annihilated,” Kisten promises.

”I”m scared they will find me… or my dad,” she says, shaking from fear.

”You”ll be completely safe at Hope House. We can arrange for you to get a new identity. Your father won”t ever hurt you again.”

Reghan nods, but I can tell some part of her still isn”t convinced. I hate how scared she is of the person who should”ve protected her above all others. I know not everyone has a father as great as mine. I know better than anyone what it”s like to have a parent abandon you. I realized pretty young that I was lucky that my mom realized she didn”t want to be a mom and made sure I was somewhere safe and with someone who would love me. Reghan didn”t have that, and it”s heartbreaking.

”What”s his name?” I ask.

”Eddie Musgrave. He lives in Hunts Point in the Bronx,” she says, looking up at me for the first time since she entered the room.

I flash her a feral smile. I”m not sure how Kisten will feel about it, but Eddie has just been added to the long list of people I”m going to hurt. I want to make him bleed for every horrible thing Reghan went through. I want him to suffer for ruining her life and for being a shitty father.

”He”ll get his,” I promise. ”I”ll make him suffer for what he did to you.”

I look at Kisten without remorse for what I just promised. I expected him to reprimand me, but instead he nods. I fall a little more in love with him for wanting to punish Reghan”s father for what he did to her.

Reghan jumps up from her seat and hugs me, showing more life than I”ve ever seen from her.

”Thank you,” she whispers through grateful tears.

”You don”t have to thank me. It”ll be my pleasure to make him bleed for his sins.”

Reghan gives me another squeeze and leaves after giving Kisten a shy smile and a little wave.

”Do you think she”ll be okay?” I ask.

”Knowing her father won”t be able to find her will go a long way to helping. If she takes advantage of all the resources at Hope House, she”ll be fine.”

It”s a slight relief to hear him say that. I pray he”s right because she deserves to live the rest of her life with peace and happiness.

Lexis is the last to come in. She”s got a surprising amount of information about the mansion. It”s obvious that Kisten is pleased by everything she tells us. It”ll be a huge help when it comes time to take down that part of the trafficking ring. She”s able to confirm that the Russians run things there, too. She tells us all about the men who run the day-to-day operation and the schedule for when they open for clients. Unfortunately, the auctions are more random, so there”s no way to predict when they will have another one.

We spend over an hour talking with Lexis. When she leaves us alone in the office, my emotions are all over the place. Hearing Reghan”s story and then everything that Lexis went through at the mansion has made my heart heavy from all the pain and suffering these bastards have caused. I know without a doubt that my choice to stay is the right one.

”Come here, beauty.”

I don”t hesitate to close the distance between us. He pulls me onto his lap when I”m within arm”s reach. I cuddle against him, sighing when he wraps his arms around me.

”Are you okay, love?” he asks gently.

His fingers dance up and down my spine. My muscles relax with every touch, filling me with contentment.

”Yeah. It”s just a lot.”

”You”ve been through so much. No one will think poorly of you if you change your mind. You can still go to Hope House for a fresh start.”

Even though I appreciate his offer, I can”t stop myself from frowning. I know he”s not trying to send me away, but it feels like it, and I hate it. ”I”m doing this. I don”t want to leave.”

He hugs me tighter, a proud look on his face. ”That”s my little fighter.”

Kisten and I sit quietly for a long while. Honestly, I could happily stay like this forever. I love how connected I feel to him. It”s unlike anything I ever expected to have in my life. I”d given up hope for a better life. I did what I had to do to survive, but that”s all I ever thought I”d have—surviving. Now, there”s a different future at my fingertips, and I can”t wait to experience it.

I hope being with him always feels like this. For once, my brain is calm. There are no whirling thoughts or memories weighing me down. In his arms, I can just be without having to stay on guard every second. It”s truly incredible.

”I have to leave tomorrow,” Kisten says, breaking the silence.

My heart drops. His fingers never stop stroking me even though I”ve gone rigid in his arms. I want to ask a million questions, but I bite my tongue from shouting the loudest one in my mind right now: What about me?

”Okay,” I murmur.

”I need to meet with my team and start planning. I”ve already delayed longer than I”d like. Too much of a delay gives them time to shut down and relocate. So far, that hasn”t happened, but I don”t want to risk it.”

I nod because I get it. Waiting is foolish. I would hate myself if he hesitated because of me and lost the advantage the information has provided.

”I understand. Will you come back for me soon?” I ask, trying to hide my disappointment.

He gives me an incredulous look. ”You”re coming with me, beauty. You”re mine now, remember?”

Relief floods through me. He”s not leaving me behind. He”s keeping me like he said. I don”t really think before I press my lips to his. I jerk back, almost falling off his lap when I realize what I”ve done. Kisten”s strong hand on my hip keeps me in place. Then his fingers are in my hair, and he”s pulling my lips back to his.

He”s looking at me with such obvious possession that my breath freezes in my lungs. He doesn”t ask for permission and isn”t gentle as he crushes his lips to mine, kissing me deeply. I part my lips for his questing tongue, loving the slick slide of our tongues dancing together. My body temperature rises until I feel like I”m about to burn up from the inside out.

It”s my second real kiss, and I”m already hooked.