Saving You (Words We Never Said #6)

4. Oz

CHAPTER FOUR

OZ

‘I’m going to be on TV.’

Oz blinked down at Rex, raising a brow. ‘TV?’

Rex puffed out his chest proudly as he bounced from one foot to the other. ‘When I grow up. I’m going to make dresses and have a big fashion show.’

Ah, okay. That made a little more sense. Rex was absolutely convinced that he was going to be a future bridal consultant and dress designer on the reality show he was obsessed with. The first Deaf designer, he’d decided.

Oz wasn’t about to pop his bubble that unless he knew someone who knew someone who had a shitload of money, there was not a chance in hell he’d even set foot into some high-end bridal shop—let alone be asked to design for them. What he really hoped was that Rex would go through a fashion design program in college, settle somewhere with a highly populated Deaf community, and find himself…content.

Or happy, even.

Everything Oz wanted to be and was not. Of course, Rex was already ahead of him by leaps and bounds. He had a tight-knit family of mostly hearing people who all learned ASL for him and loved him beyond reason. Oz knew that Frey would do anything —literally anything, including crime—if it would make his kid happy.

It was why being around those guys was both soothing and painful in equal measure. He wasn’t a dad, he wasn’t part of their little group, but they always went out of their way to make him feel like he belonged.

Even the colossal fuckup at the hospital when Renato first came into Frey’s life hadn’t soured Oz on the guys. He had a feeling they believed he was a grumpy, standoffish dick because of it, and he let them think that way because admitting the truth was harder than the lie.

He was jealous. And he resented them.

None of it was their fault, but the fact remained, being around something he couldn’t have wasn’t easy.

Rex tugged on his hand and frowned. ‘Are you sad?’

Oz forced a smile and shook his head. ‘Not sad. What do you want to do now? We have two hours before your dad’s off work.’

Rex’s brow furrowed, and he tapped his chin, but Oz knew it was all for show. He was going to suggest what he always suggested. ‘Can we go look at dresses?’

Oz rolled his eyes dramatically and flopped forward. ‘Dresses? Again?’

Rex giggled and bounced on his feet. ‘Dresses!’

The bridal shop was less than a hundred feet from where they were standing, and Oz gestured toward it. Luckily, the ladies inside were always sweet and accommodating. None of them knew more than the alphabet and a handful of greeting signs, but Oz didn’t mind playing interpreter for this.

Digging into his bag, he pulled out his CI case and pressed the buttons to turn them on. Taking a breath, he braced himself for a flood of sound, not taking his eye off Rex, who had just reached the shop door.

‘Go inside?’ Rex asked from across the pavement. ‘Go inside! Go inside!’ he signed and bounced.

Oz waved him on. ‘Be right there. Be nice!’

Rex grinned and turned, yanking open the door with all the strength of his scrawny little kid arms, and he hurtled himself inside.

The sound of his own laughter was startling, and Oz allowed himself a moment to adjust to the change. Hearing was becoming less and less natural now that he was allowing himself long stretches of totally deaf days. And he liked it that way.

He never second-guessed it until he was at home and had to face his parents and sister’s questions about why he wanted to live in silence. He didn’t quite have the words to explain, and he’d long since given up trying to make them understand something they never could.

He shouldered their judgment and his mom’s passive-aggressive comments about how she wouldn’t have paid so much for his damn implants if he was never going to use them. Which was a total lie, but he never bothered calling her out on it.

Taking a breath, he shoved thoughts of his family away and hurried after Rex. The shop was a little boutique that had wedding dresses on one side and suits on the other. Oz had zero plans of ever getting married, considering the state of his dating life, and he didn’t have any friends close to walking down the aisle unless he was counting the single dad club…which he supposed he could.

He knew a couple of them were planning ceremonies, but no one had sent out save the dates.

Or he hadn’t gotten one if they had. Not that he’d made it easy for them to be his friend. And that was one of the things he was starting to wonder about. Was he making a mistake pushing everyone so far away to avoid getting hurt the way his parents hurt him?

His gaze scanned the room, and eventually, he found Rex standing beside a mannequin with what he was pretty sure was a new design. His small hands were petting over the lace, and the woman standing a few feet away was giving him a dubious stare.

She was obviously new.

“He won’t mess anything up,” Oz assured her.

She jumped and spun. “Oh. Uh…is he yours?”

That was always such an awkward question. He felt like a weirdo saying no because most people didn’t get what the fuck a Deaf mentor did. “I’m watching him,” he explained, then waved his hand to get Rex’s attention. When he turned, Oz signed, ‘This is a new employee.’

Rex’s eyes brightened, and he let the dress go, puffing up his chest. ‘I’m going to be a designer!’

The woman took a few steps back, and Oz fought off a bone-deep sigh. Why did it always come to this. Why did they always act like deaf was contagious?

“What’s wrong with him?”

“There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s Deaf,” he explained. “He’s telling you he wants to be a wedding dress designer.”

She cleared her throat. “I mean…that’s…should you encourage him if he can’t hear?”

“Because you need to hear to make dresses?” Oz asked, his voice tense.

She shrugged. “I mean, if he can’t speak with clients?—”

“Trust me, there are ways,” came another voice that Oz was pretty sure he knew. A second later, the tip of a white cane appeared, and after that, Bronx’s son stepped through the archway.

Rex adored Lucas, and he immediately hurtled himself at the young man, nearly toppling him over as Lucas fought to catch him and not lose his footing. He laughed hard as he righted Rex and knelt down, offering both his hands out.

‘Do-do?’ Lucas signed.

Rex signed very carefully into Lucas’s palms. ‘Looking at dresses.’

‘Nice,’ Lucas answered him. He ruffled Rex’s hair. ‘Who’s with you?’

“That would be me. Oz,” he said aloud, then signed for Rex’s benefit.

Lucas straightened up as Rex bounced back to the lacy dress. “Oz?”

“Right here, man,” Oz told him, stepping toward Lucas’s outstretched hand.

When Lucas had his arm, he turned a little to face the room. “ Now . Let’s talk about your problem,” he said, and Oz knew immediately he was talking to the saleswoman.

She stared at the two of them, unblinking. Clueless.

Oz snorted. “He’s talking to you.”

“Oh!” she said loudly, taking a step closer to him. “I’m sorry, sir.” She was nearly yelling, loud enough to make them both flinch. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yeah, of course you’re one of those.” Lucas grimaced and turned his head toward Oz. “No one else is here, is there? This woman should not be around Rex.”

“No, but don’t worry. I’ll have Frey give Beth Ann a call.”

The saleswoman’s face paled. “I’m sorry, I’m confused. Why do you need to talk to the owner?”

“Because I think a little sensitivity training is in order,” Oz told her plainly. “You’ve insulted a young Deaf boy who comes in here all the time. His dad knows the owner, by the way. And she loves Rex. You’ve also yelled at a blind man like he can’t hear, which isn’t a great look.”

“I mean, I get it all the time,” Lucas said, “but it always sucks.”

“I—I didn’t,” she stammered.

“Have a nice day,” Lucas interrupted her, turning away, then let Oz’s arm go and backed up a step. “If I had a fucking penny for every time this shit happened…”

“Yep,” Oz told him. “I’d already have my mortgage paid off.”

Lucas snort-laughed and tapped his fingers in a pattern Oz recognized from a few of his autistic students. He began to gently rock his head from side to side. “So. I guess I should go back to tie shopping.”

“Is that what you were up to?” Oz looked down briefly when he felt a tug on his sleeve, and he met Rex’s gaze, who was holding up a very ornate flower hairpin with feathers on the side. “Hang on, Rex is showing me something.”

‘Pretty,’ Rex told him. ‘Do you think Dad would like it?’

Oz pulled out his phone. ‘Take a picture, and you can show him.’ Rex took the phone and darted off, and Oz turned back to Lucas. “He wants his dad to wear a flower pin in his hair.”

“You know he will,” Lucas said with a grin. He tapped his cane tip a few times on the ground, then said, “Did that lady take off?”

Oz glanced behind him. “She’s probably hiding in the storeroom now. I think we scared the shit out of her.”

Lucas didn’t smile. “Good. I’m…fuck, I’m getting really tired of shit like this. Last week, this dickhead health inspector showed up to eat at the food truck, and when he realized I was blind, he called his boss and demanded that we be reevaluated.”

“What the hell?”

Lucas looked furious. “Luckily, Lane took care of it. He made a phone call and tore them a new one, but the dude was dead serious that a blind guy running a food truck couldn’t do it safely. For a minute, I thought Lane might actually have to fire me.”

“He would never,” Oz said. He didn’t know Lane that well, but he knew him well enough to know he’d rather stab himself in the hand than bend to the will of some bureaucratic, ableist asshat.

“That’s what he said. It…you know…sucks, I guess. When I was at the blind school, I had a few teachers who told me that if I wanted to avoid the stress of adulthood, I should file for disability the moment I turn eighteen and not bother with the corporate world. They said even if I did get hired somewhere, it would be for diversity reasons, and they’d fire me the first chance they could get away with it.”

Oz winced. Lucas’s former teachers were wrong, but not completely. There were dickhead organizations who would do exactly what they described, and he knew damn well how badly those moments crushed people who were just trying to exist and support themselves.

“I think I keep expecting them to be right, even when it’s someone like Lane,” Lucas said so quietly Oz had to mostly read his lips, which wasn’t easy. Being blind from birth, Lucas moved his mouth differently from sighted people, and he could be hard to understand. But it was worth putting in the extra effort for him. “Anyway, sorry to rain on your happy day.”

Oz reached out and gave his arm a pat. “You’re fine. My day hasn’t been particularly happy, but it also isn’t ruined.” And it couldn’t possibly be worse than the afternoon he had coming up with his family. “I should get this kid out of here before he convinces me to buy something though. See you around?”

“Drop by the food truck if you get hungry. We’re two blocks from your school on Thursdays. If you get a decent lunch break, swing by, and I’ll hook you up.”

Oz grinned. “I will.” He wasn’t sure if he meant it, but he would at least try. Turning, he stomped his foot hard to get Rex’s attention. ‘Say bye to Lucas. We have to leave.’

Rex dropped the tiara he was holding and Oz’s phone as he hurtled himself toward the younger man. Oz went to grab his phone and right everything as Rex signed his goodbyes, and after a little pout, they were out the door and heading back for Oz’s car.

‘Oz?’

‘Yeah?’ Oz signed when he had Rex’s full attention.

‘Was that lady being mean? You and Lucas were angry.’

Oz’s heart sank. He swore to himself that any kid he mentored would know the truth when people were being shit. But every time he was honest, Rex’s little soul was crushed more and more. He was still a happy kid, but he didn’t smile as much anymore when they navigated hearing spaces. He didn’t try to engage with people as often.

He was withdrawing and anxious now, and Oz knew that while it was a thing all kids like Rex went through, he wished he could shield him from it. He still bore the ugly, glaring scars of childhood trauma from not fitting in, and he didn’t want Rex to have those.

‘She wasn’t being very nice, but Lucas and I both told her how to be nicer.’

Rex’s brow furrowed, and then he nodded. ‘Okay.’

And that was that. Not the worst outcome, so Oz decided he could pat himself on the back about his answer. And, of course, make sure that Frey knew exactly what happened so hopefully, with the right phone call, it would never happen again.

‘I got the text.’ It was the first thing Frey said when he walked in through Oz’s office door. He was one of the few teachers at the school who had his own private space since he was one of the Deaf mentors.

It was nothing more than a closet with a poor excuse for a laptop desk, two chairs, and an ancient cabinet made out of green metal he swore he remembered from his days in elementary school. But it was nice.

It was his , and that felt like something.

He rolled his eyes and glanced over at Rex, who was absorbed in his current grammar lesson. ‘I wasn’t going to tell him what happened,’ Oz confessed, ‘but he asked me if she was being mean.’

Frey’s expression mimicked the feeling Oz had in his chest. ‘I hate this.’ He sauntered over and flopped into the chair across from Oz. ‘When you were a kid…’

‘No,’ Oz interrupted, shaking his head before Frey could finish the question. ‘It wasn’t the same as what Rex goes through. I was hearing-passing. Even when they thought I talked funny, strangers assumed I had a speech impediment, and they never recognized what my CIs were back then.’

Frey nodded. Oz had shown him a few old photos of the contraptions he had to wear. ‘I know. But you still went through stuff.’

Oz couldn’t argue with that. But he didn’t feel very qualified to give Frey the advice he was looking for other than never stop fighting for your son to be treated the way he deserves. But Frey already had that part down. ‘Did you call the shop?’

Frey’s eyes blazed. ‘I spoke to Beth Ann. She wasn’t as understanding as I expected her to be.’

That was a surprise. Oz knew her now that Rex had been dragging him into the shop for a couple of years. She’d always been accommodating and always made space for Rex to explore. ‘Can I do anything?’

‘You’ve done enough,’ Frey told him. Those words weren’t as ominous in ASL as they were in spoken English. He understood Frey meant what he said in a good way. ‘I should get going. We have dinner with the guys tonight. A little celebration that Gage is back.’

Oz’s brows flew up. ‘He’s back? For good?’

Frey nodded right as Rex dropped the iPad and ran over, slipping into Frey’s arms. He wrapped them around his son and held him tight for a long beat before answering Oz with one hand. ‘Yeah. Long story.’

Oz leaned closer. ‘Is he okay?’

Frey pulled a face. ‘He will be.’

His heart hurt for the kid—who wasn’t really a kid anymore. He was an adult with a job who’d gone out on his own to make his living. But he had no place asking for more details than what Frey had given him. Oz had pushed the guys out of his personal life since he’d come into theirs. It was only fair.

‘Tell him I said hello,’ Oz said.

Frey smiled and eased Rex off his lap. ‘I will. Now,’ he added to his son, ‘go say bye to Oz.’

Rex hurtled around the desk and threw himself into Oz’s arms. This was not how most of his students said goodbye. There was something different about the kids who were raised by that little found family.

Something profoundly…healing. And accepting.

Oz felt that bubble of hot resentment in the back of his throat again. The feeling that told him he’d been cheated out of love and joy when he was growing up. But he wasn’t going to ever let Rex know he felt that way.

He squeezed back, then ruffled his hair. ‘See you in a couple weeks?’

Rex nodded with a grin, then grabbed Frey’s hand and tugged him toward the door. When they were gone, Oz sat back, feeling like all the life had been drained out of him. He glanced at the date on his computer, feeling an impending sense of dread because in twenty-four hours, he’d have to spend another afternoon with his family.

Another day of being made to feel wrong. Broken. Not enough.

But there was one tiny bright spot, even if it was only temporary. Ridge was coming. Oz wasn’t about to look too closely into how that made him feel because it didn’t matter. He was too messy for anyone real right now. But he could pretend, just for a moment, that Ridge was there for him and only him.

His hero.

His knight with his shining, fire-truck-red armor.