Saving You (Words We Never Said #6)

5. Ridge

CHAPTER FIVE

RIDGE

In the past, Ridge liked to show up at parties early. Not before all the guests but within minutes of the intended start time. Grady didn’t give Ridge a solid answer on what time everything was getting started though, and he was too nervous to be the only dipshit who was there before close family.

He didn’t even know this kid, after all. He didn’t know anyone except Grady and Oz, and Oz wasn’t always thrilled with his presence.

So he took his time and then felt like shit when he saw half the street was already taken up by cars. He found a spot in a cul-de-sac not too far from the house, and he grabbed the bag he and Ina had picked out for Sarah. They’d gone to the craft store and found a little bracelet-making kit that didn’t look like it would be too much of a mess, though Ridge was a pretty shit judge at those things.

Once upon a time, he thought making homemade slime would be a reasonable craft. His carpets had never recovered.

But he was more confident knowing this didn’t have any sticky parts or random mixing ingredients, so he hooked the bag over his wrist and started up the street. He could hear music playing as he got closer, then the scent of a grill going. Eventually, there was chatter coming over the back fence, and he debated about going to the front door before realizing the side gate was open.

Ridge swallowed back nerves. He’d been in town for a couple of years now, but he’d never really integrated. It took him way too long to accept Adele’s offer to join their dads club, and even now, he still didn’t feel confident strolling into his house the way the other guys did.

His fingers felt like they were shaking, so he kept them in tight fists as he rounded the corner, and his gaze filled with a sea of strangers. None of the guys were there. He knew most of them had given Grady the “We’ll see if I can make it” excuse, and Grady knew they were saying it to be polite.

God, was he supposed to have done the same thing? Was it social protocol to decline the invite, and he was the only jackass who came to a family gathering?

“Ridge! Hell yeah!” Grady’s voice boomed across the yard, and a moment later, he was there in Ridge’s space with his big, shit-eating grin. “I’m so fuckin’ stoked you’re here.”

Ridge managed a smile in spite of his stress. “Yeah. No one else showed up?”

“Those fuckers never do. They always throw me to the wolves. Well, Adele has a legit excuse, but no one else does, and I’m always stuck with these golf-playing CEO motherfuckers.”

Ridge burst into helpless laughter. “It can’t be that bad.”

“I’ve seen three ascots today, and all of these guys are wearing polo shirts,” Grady said, leaning down and dropping his voice. He ran his hand over his faded Green Day band T-shirt. “I can’t with these dudes. One of them asked me about my 401(k).”

Ridge grimaced. He had one—he just didn’t know what he was supposed to do with it other than let his payroll department throw money at it twice a month. “Yikes.”

“Yeah. Come on, you can hang by the grill with me. You know Oz, right? He does a thing with your kid?” Grady yammered, dragging Ridge by the wrist up the deck stairs.

Ridge’s heartbeat kicked up a few notches. Oz was the actual reason he was here. Ridge had almost said no. He liked Grady, but not necessarily enough to put up with the people in Oz’s family. But Oz had asked him to come, and Ridge quickly learned he wasn’t capable of telling that man no.

“He’s been back and forth doing shit for my mother-in-law. Have you met her?”

Ridge shook his head and spied the gift table as they walked by it. He managed to slip the bag on the edge before Grady manhandled him into an Adirondack chair and shoved a beer in his face. “Uh. Thanks. And no? Oz doesn’t exactly invite me for family dinner.”

“Right. Shit.” Grady rubbed the back of his neck and glanced around again, but they were alone up there. The party crowd—mostly adults and a handful of kids—were milling around the lawn. There was a bouncy castle in the back and a bunch of tables set up with white tablecloths fluttering in the breeze and bright pink, flowery centerpieces.

Nothing like the knock-off Disney Princess shit he’d done for Ina. He felt suddenly cheap—like some dad imposter who still didn’t know what he was doing.

“You should know that I’m not into that anti-ASL shit, okay?” Grady’s voice was tense. “I took sign language in college, and I’ve been trying to keep up on it, you know. Because Oz uses it. Like, the dude is Deaf, and they just…” He trailed off. “I don’t get it. Alora knows some, and she used to use it every now and again, but after she got pregnant, she freaked out and banned me from teaching the girls.”

Ridge frowned. “That’s kind of weird, dude. Hormones or what?”

“I think she was freaked-out that we might have a deaf kid,” Grady said with a shrug, and Ridge wanted to hit something. Like having a deaf kid was a curse? “She kept repeating over and over that Oz’s deafness wasn’t genetic, like she was trying to convince herself. I don’t know. She was in a total fuckin’ panic for all nine months. She found out this one antibiotic could cause deafness, and she started asking her doctor if our baby would survive without it if she got sick.”

Ridge felt white-hot anger bubbling in his gut. “She’d rather risk your kid’s life than have a child like her brother?”

Grady snapped his tongs, then set them down. “Trust me, dude. It was the first of many fights. I swear to God, sometimes it feels like she’s preventing the girls from learning because she thinks if they become fluent enough, it’ll be a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

“Yeah, because letting kids who can’t hear access their natural language is the worst thing in the world,” Ridge said flatly.

Grady swallowed thickly. “Hey. I think your kid is amazing, and I don’t agree with her. Believe me. Things between us have been strained lately with the way she’s been acting.”

Ridge let out a slow breath. Part of him wanted to ask Grady why her shitty attitude wasn’t a deal breaker in their marriage, but that wasn’t fair. He had no room to judge what it took to make a relationship function.

But at the same time, if anyone treated his daughter like that, there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d ever speak to them again. “I don’t really get how people can be that way. I mean, your sister grew up with Oz. I don’t see how she can?—”

“It’s not worth the headache,” interrupted a voice from right beside Ridge. He startled and looked up to find Oz standing at his shoulder, rolling a beer between his hands. ‘My sister will never change her mind.’

Ridge pulled a face. ‘It’s not fair.’

‘No one ever said life was fair,’ Oz countered.

“Not here, Osric,” came a stern voice. A woman appeared who looked startlingly like Oz, except she had neatly styled hair with blonde highlights that helped blend her greys. She was very much the CEO type Grady had been talking about, with her button-up blouse and scarf tied at the neck. “Please tell me you didn’t bring one of your little…hearing-impaired friends to Sarah’s party.”

Ridge and Oz both visibly flinched at the term, and Ridge stared at Oz, waiting to see if he was going to say something. It was clear he’d been dealing with that most of his life.

“This is Ridge,” Oz began.

“He works with me at the station,” Grady added.

“My daughter’s Deaf,” Ridge said, pushing to his feet. He didn’t bother sticking out his hand to shake hers. He had a feeling she wouldn’t take it anyway.

She lifted a brow. “Oh. Have you considered implants for?—”

“She has them,” Ridge said stiffly. It was a decision he wasn’t sure if he regretted or not. The guilt he felt for making the choice for her before she was old enough weighed heavily on him to this day.

Oz’s mom frowned. “But you’re signing.”

“ Some parents of Deaf kids do that,” Oz muttered.

‘I started learning as soon as I knew. And she communicates better in ASL,’ Ridge answered her on his hands. He felt a little rush when he saw Oz hide a smile. “And every single study shows that early access to language as well as letting the child decide how much access to hearing they want allows them to grow up a more balanced and successful human being.”

“Well, we don’t speak… that …around here,” she said.

“Shame,” Ridge said. “Anyway, nice to meet you.” He raised his hands again and signed to Oz, ‘Pretend to show me to the bathroom?’

Oz nodded and jutted his chin toward the back door before leading the way through it. Ridge followed in silence, wondering if he was committing some faux pas by going into the house with his dirty shoes on, but he realized he didn’t give much of a shit. He needed out of there before he said something he was going to regret.

Oz didn’t stop until they were at a doorway, which, when it opened, he noticed wasn’t a bathroom at all. It was a guest room with a big four-poster bed and a matching dresser. Ridge stepped in after him, and then the door closed with a soft click.

“You can leave if you want,” Oz told him aloud. “There’s no reason for you to stick around and listen to her spout bullshit about your daughter.”

Ridge frowned. “Is that what you want?”

“I want to go back in time and tell my mom I wasn’t going to show up for this fucking party. Then I want to have the balls to tell my sister that she’s not the person I thought she’d grow up to be.” His voice was tense and thick with emotion, and Ridge wanted to hug him.

‘I’m sorry,’ Ridge signed.

Oz scoffed and shook his head. “I shouldn’t have asked you to come here. This is why I never invite anyone. It makes me feel pathetic that I can’t stand up to her.”

“I get it,” Ridge said, taking a step closer. The pain in Oz’s voice was a little too much, and he cracked, opening his arms.

For a beat, Oz stared at him like he was engaging in some alien ritual, and then his shoulders sagged, and he stepped into Ridge’s embrace. He felt Oz shudder, then relax fully before going tense again and pulling back like Ridge’s chest was on fire.

‘Thank you,’ Oz signed stiffly, and before Ridge could say or do anything else, he turned on his heel and darted out the door.

Letting out a breath, Ridge turned in a half circle and studied the room. It was fairly nondescript. It looked like something his grandmother would put together with the soft, pastel florals and the ruffly skirt thing that went around the bottom edge of the bed.

And then something caught his eye. There was a bookshelf against the wall near the window with a single potted fern at the top, mostly books weighing down the shelves, and several picture frames. He walked over and leaned close.

The photos were all of Oz and a woman Ridge didn’t recognize. She was very blonde, almost as tall as Oz, and very pretty. They were smiling in every photo, but the smile never reached Oz’s eyes. He had a great poker face, Ridge noticed, but knowing the man for even a short time, it was easy to see he was putting on a mask.

“That’s his girlfriend,” came a voice from behind.

Ridge startled and spun, eyes going wide when he saw Grady’s wife. He’d met her a handful of times at the station, but he’d never spent any real time with her. And now that he’d seen what Oz’s family had put him through, he didn’t like her much.

“Does he have a girlfriend?” Ridge asked.

Alora rolled her eyes. “He’ll tell you no, but he and Darcy have been on and off since college. They’re definitely meant to be.”

Ridge hated the way that made his stomach burn hot with something like jealousy and resentment. It wasn’t like he had any claim over Oz. The guy was straight, besides. “Why’d they break up?”

“Oh,” Alora said, waving her hand dismissively as she came into the room. She peered at a photo of Oz and Darcy at the beach. “They started having major problems once Oz got that wild hair up his ass about wanting the people in his life to use sign language.”

Ridge’s brows furrowed. “She doesn’t sign?”

“Um, no?” Alora stared at him. “I mean, who does, really?”

‘I do,’ he answered her on his hands. ‘My daughter’s Deaf.’

“Yeah, but you’re like, what, point-five percent of the population?” Alora answered him aloud.

He was more annoyed that she understood ASL and refused to use it with her brother. “And that’s a reason to not use your brother’s primary language?”

Alora’s eyes blazed. “It’s not his primary language. Just because he joined some club in college and got brainwashed by a cult that likes to call itself a community?—”

“Oh my God,” Ridge breathed out. He held up his hands, opened his mouth, but he realized nothing kind was going to come out, and he didn’t want to be asked to leave. He was here for Oz. “I’m gonna go.”

“You know I’m right!” Alora called after him as he headed out of the room. “And you’ll realize I’m telling the truth once your daughter comes home from her school telling you that even though you’re her dad, you’ll never be part of her world.”

He had a million things to say about that, but he wasn’t going to bother. Not there. Not now. He wasn’t there to pick a fight with Oz’s family. He hadn’t been asked to help fight that battle, no matter how much he wanted to.

God, he wanted to go home right then and hug his daughter and remind her that she was perfect exactly the way she was. His stomach felt sour and queasy as he navigated through a small, gathering crowd in the kitchen.

He was nearly at the back door when a flash of blonde hair caught his eye, and when he turned his head, he recognized the face immediately from the pictures. Darcy. She was there. He had a sudden sinking feeling that the afternoon was going to go from bad to worse.

“Hey,” he said as he slipped onto the deck and looked over at Grady, “have you seen Oz?”

“He’s with the kids,” Grady said, pointing his tongs.

Ridge took a deep breath and slid closer. “Did you know about this Darcy thing?”

Grady rolled his eyes. “His ex? Yeah, I’ve met her a bunch of times. They always invite her to family gatherings. Alora and her mom think they can set up some BS rom-com scenario to get them back together, but…” Grady trailed off and shrugged. “Last time I talked to Oz, he seemed pretty damn sure they were done for good.”

“Is she mean?” Ridge couldn’t help but ask.

Grady shrugged. “She’s always been real polite to me and the kids. I think she’s got her head filled up with some idea of what she and Oz are supposed to be, and no one wants to accept he’s made different choices for himself. That’s why I told Alora I didn’t want her here today.”

Ridge’s stomach sank, even though that did make him feel even better about Grady. More than ever, he wanted to ask why he was with a woman like Alora. How could he reconcile the person she was to her own family with the person he’d fallen in love with?

He glanced back at the sliding door, then nodded. “Thanks, man. I’m gonna go mingle.” Ridge slipped off the deck and made his way to the tall jungle gym, where a bunch of kids were playing some kind of chasing game, and Oz was leaning against a tall magnolia tree, staring down at his phone.

“Hey,” Ridge said aloud.

Oz looked up and bit his lip, raising his hand. ‘Hi.’

‘I want?—’

‘Sorry,’ Oz and Ridge signed at the same time.

Ridge laughed and shook his head. ‘Don’t be sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.’

‘No,’ Oz signed quickly. ‘You didn’t. It was nice. I needed that hug. It’s embarrassing that I’m so weak.’

Ridge’s shoulders tightened as he stepped even closer. ‘You are not weak. You’ve been put through a lot, and you don’t deserve to deal with this every time you come see your family.’

‘I want to learn how to tell them no,’ Oz signed, his face full of distress. ‘I want to learn how to grow a spine.’

‘I,’ Ridge started. He was going to tell Oz about Darcy right then because the man deserved to know. But before he could get the chance, Oz’s mom was calling his name.

Oz turned his head to the side. “Is someone shouting for me?”

‘Your mom,’ Ridge signed.

Closing his eyes, Oz tipped his head up toward the sky and let out a slow breath. “Be right back.”

As he stalked off, Ridge couldn’t help but lean against the spot Oz had been resting. The bark of the tree was rough like a pine, but he didn’t mind the sensation that much. He wished he’d brought someone along with him, though he was once again profoundly grateful he’d listened to advice and left Ina with people who would happily include her.

He’d taken her to hearing kids’ birthday parties in the past, and he found himself spending the entire afternoon interpreting for her. He didn’t mind it. He’d do that for the rest of his life if she needed it, but he could see the stress on her little face as the afternoons wore on.

She knew she was standing outside of an invisible wall between her and people who didn’t sign. And while her audiologist might have encouraged him to use that as an opportunity to work more with her implants, Ridge refused to be the father who pushed that on her.

“Hi.”

He jumped a little and looked down to see a small girl with Grady’s face wearing a Birthday Girl tiara. “Are you Sarah?”

“Yep!”

“The birthday girl?”

“Yep! I’m almost a growed up.”

“Looks like it,” Ridge told her with a grin. “You’re almost as tall as me.”

She stretched up onto her toes and lifted her hands into the air. They came to his chin.

‘Almost,’ he signed out of habit.

Sarah’s brow furrowed, and she dropped her hands and flicked them into an echo of the sign he’d just done. “You do that like my uncle.”

‘Signing,’ he answered her in ASL. “My daughter is Deaf,” he said aloud, then followed it up with sign.

Sarah’s eyes widened. “Does she gots ears like Uncle Oz?”

“They’re not her ears. They’re her cochlear implants, and she doesn’t like to wear them very much,” he said, continuing to sim-com in Signed English.

“But hearing’s good for you,” Sarah argued. “My…my mom, she’s…she said that Uncle Oz would be happy if he was hearing and not deaf.”

“Do you think your uncle seems happier when he speaks and listens with his ears?” Ridge asked her.

Sarah bit his lip. “He frowns a lot. So…maybe he’s not too happy.”

“Probably because a lot of Deaf people understand signing better,” Ridge told her. “Their brains are made for signing so they don’t have to try as hard to know what someone is saying. It’s like running. You can both run, right?”

“Yeah! I can run really fast.”

“But what if you were running up a hill and your uncle was running down a hill. Who would win that race?”

Her eyes widened. “But…but he could be faster. My legs would hurt if I goed up hill.”

“Exactly. For your uncle, hearing with his ears and speaking with his mouth is like running up a hill. When you speak and listen with your ears, it’s like running down a hill. He can do it, but it’s harder.”

Sarah looked nervous. “Does his legs hurt?”

“No,” Ridge said with a small laugh. “But it can make his brain really, really tired when he does it for too long. But when people sign to him, it lets his brain take a nice rest.”

Sarah’s eyes widened. “Um, but my mommy says I’m not allowed.”

“And I’d appreciate if you kept your propaganda to yourself,” came Alora’s voice from behind. She held out her hand. “Come here, Sarah.”

Sarah looked at Ridge for a very long time, not moving.

“Sarah!”

“But…he said Uncle Oz?—”

“Right now,” Alora demanded, darting forward to grab her daughter’s hand. She gave Ridge a scathing look. “Don’t parent my child.”

“Then do better,” Ridge told her.

Her cheeks flamed red as she turned around and tugged Sarah back to the house. Ridge knew it was probably time to leave, so he began to make his way toward the gate. He wanted to say goodbye to Oz and give him a heads-up that he’d probably made things worse and maybe beg that Oz not take out his frustrations on Ina.

He didn’t think he would, but Ridge was the master at putting his damn foot in it, even when he didn’t mean to.

He took a long breath and eventually spotted Oz near the drinks table. Hurrying over, Ridge reached out and tapped him on the arm, smiling when Oz glanced at him.

‘I think I need to leave.’

Oz looked vaguely panicked. ‘What? Why ?’

‘Your niece asked me about using ASL, so I told her how it was easier for Deaf people than speaking and hearing with ears—even with hearing devices. Your sister walked up and heard me and accused me of feeding her propaganda.’ Ridge struggled with that sentence, fingerspelling a good portion of it, but the expression on Oz’s face said he understood Ridge’s signs. ‘I talked back to her.’

Oz let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. ‘I’m sorry.’

Ridge blinked. ‘Why are you sorry? You didn’t ask me here to make a scene. You told me how they were going to be, and I should have kept my mouth shut.’

Biting his lip, Oz nodded, but it didn’t look like he was saying yes. ‘No one has ever defended me to them before. I don’t know?—’

“Hello, everyone! I know this is our darling little Sarah’s birthday party,” Oz’s mom announced loudly, interrupting the rest of Ridge’s sentence. “But with her mom’s permission, we wanted to announce something really exciting. Where’s Osric? Has anyone seen my son?”

Oz paled. ‘Did she ask for me?’

Ridge nodded his fist.

“Osric!” She stepped off the deck stairs and started toward him. To Ridge’s shock, Alora and his ex, Darcy, were trailing behind. Darcy was grinning and looked very intense, and Ridge saw the panic rising on Oz’s face. “I know things have been back and forth between you and our favorite future daughter-in-law, but I think you know it’s time that you two finally settle down.”

“Mom—” Oz began, his voice trembling.

She ignored him. “Darcy, Osric has something he’d like to share with everyone.” She reached into the pocket of her cardigan and pulled out a very bright red velvet ring box.

Darcy gasped. “Oh my God. Baby…”

Oz looked like he was trying to figure out how to make his limbs work so he could run. Ridge stepped closer and brushed his hand along his arm before slipping his fingers against his and spelling, ‘It’s okay.’

Oz looked at him, eyes wide and wild, but he licked his lips and gave a stiff nod.

‘It’s okay,’ Ridge mouthed. ‘I’m here.’

Oz squared his shoulders and cleared his throat. “You’re right, Mom. I do have an announcement that’s been a long time coming.” He took the ring box from her hand and shoved it into his back pocket, making his mom, sister, and Darcy frown. Oz glanced over his shoulder at Ridge and mouthed, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘For what?’ Ridge signed, but Oz was no longer looking at him.

“I’ve been keeping a secret, but I think I’m tired of living a lie. I’m in love.”

“Aww, baby,” Darcy said again, her voice carrying over the crowd. She took a step closer, so Oz took one back toward Ridge.

He didn’t look at her. “We’ve been keeping the relationship under wraps because it was something I needed to come to terms with myself, but I’m glad I have. I’m bisexual.”

Ridge could have heard a pin drop. Even the birds had stopped singing.

Oz reached out, seized his wrist, and pulled him close. “This is Ridge. He’s my boyfriend. He’s supportive of who I am. He’s fluent in ASL, has a wonderful daughter, and he’s been my rock whenever life gets difficult.”

Ridge was frozen to the spot as Oz turned to him, grabbed him around the back of the neck, and tugged him close.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Oz mouthed. ‘Kiss me? Please?’

Ridge knew that was going to be a mistake that could break his heart, but when was he ever going to be asked to do this again? He steeled his spine and told himself that this once—just for this moment—he was allowed to take this thing he’d wanted for so long.

So he lowered his eyes to Oz’s mouth, and then he nodded.

And between one breath and the next, Oz leaned in and touched their lips together.

Ridge’s eyes slammed shut as he let himself feel, as he let himself take. It wasn’t the deepest kiss, but it was everything he’d imagined it would be. And a little more. Oz kissed carefully, tenderly, sweetly. His body was stiff—he was scared, he was desperate, but he wasn’t kissing like a man who didn’t want to be doing this.

Was he just that good of an actor?

Oz’s fingers toyed with the short hair at the nape of Ridge’s neck, and he couldn’t help the smallest moan. And then Oz pulled back. Their gazes met, and he looked terrified. It was broken now—whatever had been between them before. There was no coming back from this.

But in that very second, Ridge couldn’t bring himself to care.