Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Bear
I glanced through the window when bright headlights swept through the darkened room where I sat with some of the club guys for our weekly poker game.
“Looks like JD’s back,” Tel said around the cigar stuffed in his mouth. Cigars and cards might be cliché, but with the poker club gone, this was our best escape.
“Where’d he go?” Cash asked, looking out the window that faced the direction of JD’s cabin.
“None of our fucking business,” Axel grumbled. “Pay attention to your goddamned cards.”
I kept my mouth shut, but I noted that he and Sasha had been gone for a long time. I also noticed that JD opened her door for her and led her into his place with his hand at the small of her back.
For someone who claimed he had no intention of getting involved with her, he sure couldn’t keep his hands to himself.
Hell, I’d been seconds away from finally making a move on her during our movie when he cock-blocked me with that apartment bullshit. Clearly, I’d waited too long. But we’d spent most of the day surrounded by people and it wasn’t until then we were finally somewhat alone.
Besides, it still felt wrong making a move on her in my prez’s home. For the first time in forever, I was thinking I needed to get my own place. Preferably off the compound and away from prying eyes. Then maybe Sasha and I could finally embark on a normal relationship.
If JD was serious about letting her go…
“Hey, are you in or out?” Axel kicked my shoe underneath the table, pulling my attention away from JD’s cabin.
“Fuck,” I snarled before looking at the cards on the table and in my hand and deciding I didn’t have shit to bet on and wasn’t in the mood to bluff. “I’ve got nothing,” I said, throwing out my cards face down.
I wasn’t in the mood for any of this.
“What’s with you tonight?” Axel asked. “First you were late, and now you seem to be somewhere besides the game.” He turned and looked at the window behind where he sat. “I hope you’re not still thinking about trying to tap that.”
I glared at my VP, but wisely kept my mouth shut. I was never much for a lot of talk, but on this topic, I especially had nothing to say. What got up between Sasha and me was no one else’s business.
“He brought her tacos today,” Cash said, with an almost sing song lilt in his voice. “I think he’s sweet on JD’s girl.”
“She’s not his girl,” I snarled before I could stop myself.
“You don’t think so?” Axel asked, a warning look in his eyes. “So you think he’s got her living there for what? Shits and giggles?”
I didn’t like the attitude Axel was throwing my way, especially since I wasn’t in the mood for it. If he was looking for a fight though, I might be the one to accommodate him. I was pretty sure I was healed enough to handle it, but there was only one way to be sure.
“Prez did say she ain’t his,” Cash interjected with a shit eating grin as he laid out his cards to show his royal flush while everyone else threw down their cards in disgust.
“Yeah? When did he say that? Because I don’t think I believe him.”
“So you calling him a liar,” I asked, trying to hide my sneer from Axel who was on my last nerve now.
“You’ve never said something you didn’t literally mean?” He leaned back in his chair and puffed on his cigar. “If you ask me, that woman is so far under his skin he can’t even see it. Which I’ll admit is a dangerous thing. If he doesn’t realize how much she means to him now, when he finally does it’s going to make one hell of a fucking mess.”
“He’d probably kick your ass for trash talking behind his back too,” Tel said. He did not look happy by the turn of this conversation and I couldn’t say I blamed him. Sasha didn’t deserve to be the topic at this table.
“Hell, if he was here I’d ask him. But since he’s not, I can’t. You’d better get your head on straight before you get so wrapped up in her you take this too far.”
“Although technically,” Cain drawled. “Prez has been known to share. Maybe the two of you could work something like that out.”
Axel jumped up, shoved his chair back, and lunged across the table at Cain before I could even set my beer down. He also hauled back and punched him in the face before anyone could so much as react.
The distinct sound of bone crunching on bone sounded through the room before everyone jumped from their seats and tried pulling them apart.
It took both Tel and me to get Axel off of Cain, and it wasn’t before he got in a couple of more strong hits.
“What the fuck is your problem?” Cain shrieked, his voice sounding off thanks to what looked like a broken nose.
“You sound like a fucking traitor,” Axel bellowed. “That kind of disrespect for our prez and what he went through when his old lady died is un-fucking-acceptable.”
“What?” Cain screamed, backing away while also being pulled away by me. “That’s not what I…”
He didn’t finish his statement, likely because he realized just how bad it had sounded. No one talked about that time in Prez’s life. Ever. Not anymore. The love triangle between JD, Malia and Pop had ended in tragedy, nearly tearing the club apart. That subject was beyond taboo in here. It could get you killed.
“Axel, calm the fuck down,” Tel warned.
“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down,” he bellowed. “Look at him. Only a traitor would sit around and talk about their President like that. Is that what you are? Our fucking traitor?” Anger burned so hot from Axel I braced for him to take another swing.
“He is the newest patched member,” Cash said, coming up beside Axel with hatred rolling off of him as well.
“This is not why Prez told us about the situation. Making accusations without evidence is not cool,” Tel continued. While I appreciated what he was saying, and I’m sure the other guys would too if they could think straight, now was not the time for a lecture. No matter how much they might need it. Not until cooler heads prevailed.
“Neither is slamming your president about something you know shit about. I’m not going to just sit back and let that slide—EVER.” Axel was still fighting to get loose from my hold. Clearly, he wasn’t done with the likes of Cain. I had to admit that I had my suspicions as well, especially after that comment.
Despite no one talking much about the past anymore, it was still common knowledge that the woman JD had loved and shared had been murdered by Pop because of their situation, so to assume he would entertain another similar relationship was about the most asinine thing I’d ever heard.
“For fuck’s sake. I was just stating the facts, not making some sort of accusation,” Cain whined through his fingers, the blood still pouring from his nose. “It was a joke. It didn’t mean shit.”
“Then you have poor taste in jokes, asshole,” Axel seethed before turning to me. “Let me go. I’m done with his ass.”
I wasn’t sure if he really meant what he’d said, but if he went after Cain again that was on him. JD was already going to wipe the floor with our asses when word of this got to him. Inter club fighting was strictly prohibited unless in the ring or during church.
“I’m not?—”
Cash pointed at Cain. “Just shut the fuck up while you still can. If you don’t want anyone else to misunderstand your meaning, then keep your mouth fucking closed. Prez don’t need your shit. Unless you have a confession to make. Is that what this is?”
“I don’t need whose shit?” A voice boomed from across the room. We all turned to find JD looming in the doorway, his body blocking almost the entire entrance. Sometimes I forgot just how big and imposing he was considering my own bulk. But seeing him in the shadow like that, a dark scowl on his face, even I felt the intimidation oozing out of him and it gave me pause.
“It’s nothing. Just a disagreement that we’ve already worked out.” Tel was quick to try and diffuse the situation. Next to Axel, he was probably the one who spent the most time with our president and they seemed close. Or at least they were close enough for him to intervene.
JD ambled into the room, surveying all the men and taking in the scene. I had a feeling no matter how this went down we were all about to be fucked.
“Is someone going to tell me what’s going on? Or am I going to have to beat it out of you? Because I’m not going to lie, I’m kind of in the mood.”
Axel shook his head. “No.It’s nothing. And it’s been handled.”
“I can see that. However, we have rules about this shit and consequences for breaking them. So unless someone gives me some details, I’ll have to assume you’re all to blame.”
“It was me,” Cain admitted. “I made an inappropriate comment and apparently went too far.”
“And?” JD looked around at each of them. The entire room got quiet except for Cain’s wheezing. I doubted there was anyone in here that wanted to repeat what Cain had said directly to JD. Least of all me.
“Well, all right then. Must have been one hell of a comment. Can one of you grab me a whiskey from the bar and I guess someone should call the new medic while the rest of you can clean up this fucking mess.”
After the medic finished bandaging Cain, no one felt like playing more poker. Most wandered off to their rooms with a few of the club girls, while Axel went home to Mandy. With just JD and me left, it was time to man the fuck up and bring up Sasha—whether I wanted to or not.
I handed him the last unlit cigar, waiting as he lit it and took his first few drags.
“I’m a little worried about the club, boss. Tensions are running really high.”
He nodded. “So I gather. Maybe I shouldn’t have told everyone about the traitor.”
“Nah,” I said, shaking my head. “You had to. Keeping secrets only makes things worse.”
“Does it?” His eyebrows raised and I got the impression we weren’t talking about the traitor anymore. Clearly this was the only opening I was going to get and I had to take it.
“If she’s your girl, just say the word and I’m out. I would never interfere with another brother’s woman, especially yours.”
“Is that what y’all were fighting about? The boys speculating on who Sasha should belong to again?”
I didn’t answer, but at this point I figured I didn’t need to. He’d figured it out easy enough and I couldn’t gauge how he really felt about it.
“I have half a mind to drag all their asses back in here and throat punch each and every last one of them. Who I’m fucking or not fucking is not fodder for club gossip. Christ.” He slammed his fist down on the table and the glass ashtray jumped as did the half empty glasses left behind.
“It’s mostly the traitor thing causing the short fuses. It’s got everyone unsettled and worried. We need to end that situation. Is there anything I can do to help?”
He shook his head. “I’m working on it nonstop. There has to be something we can do to draw him out. There’s a weak point somewhere, we just haven’t quite figured it out. But Tel is the best. If anyone can find it, it’s going to be him.” His stare on me lingered and I wondered whether I was truly free of suspicion.
I nodded. Simply because I didn’t disagree. Unlike Tel, I wasn’t a tech geek. I didn’t put a lot of stock in digital information. In another life I’d been a detective, and I still believed there was something to be said about good old-fashioned instinct. I just didn’t like where mine was leading me these days.
“Look. About Sasha.”
I shook my head, trying to stop him. “It’s not my business.”
“It is if you are interested in her. Are you?”
“I’m not into stepping on any toes.”
JD mumbled something that merely sounded like a growl before he sat up and leaned in my direction. “Stop fucking beating around the bush. Either you’re into her or not. I’m not into wasting my breath. If the two of you are just friends then this conversation ends now. So what’s it going to be?”
I blew out a hard breath. “Fuck. I’m into her, okay. We spent a lot of time together in the hospital and I miss her. But if you and her are heading towards something I’m backing out. It’s as simple as that.”
“Is it really?” he asked, sitting back in his chair. “Because if she ain’t worth fighting for, then you definitely are NOT the right man for her.”
His words rankled me. They made my skin burn and my hands clench. What the fuck? If she was mine, I’d fight to the end of the earth and back for her. “What kind of bullshit is that? I’d do almost anything for her.”
“That’s just it. Almost isn’t good enough is it?” He took a long drag on the cigar and blew out the smoke in thick white rings. “That woman deserves everything and the man willing to give it to her.”
“I’m not fighting you for her. That’s the bottom line. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
He leaned forward, a dark scowl stamped across his face. “Fuck no. I wanted to hear that you’d kill me for her. Because that’s the kind of man she deserves. And I can tell you right now that she is never going to settle for less. She ain’t into fucking for the sake of fucking if you know what I mean.”
“Fuck you.” I was so angry at his choice of words I let that slip out before I could stop them. But to talk about Sasha like that made me sick enough to take on anyone. I knew she was too sweet and good for the likes of us, but that didn’t stop me from wanting her. Nor did it stop me from fantasizing about all the dirty things I wanted to do to her.
I’d held her in my arms too many times in that hospital not to have her scent imprinted on my brain. It had taken the restraint of a saint not to make a move then, and I was not going to be up for sainthood anytime soon.
He got fucking still and stared at me without saying a word. It unnerved me, but I’d said what I’d said so I intended to own it. I just hoped it didn’t lose me my place in the club. This club was my life now. And it had saved me more than once. Without it… Well, I just didn’t want to go there because it was a dark, ugly pit.
Finally JD slapped his hand down on the table. “Now that’s more like it. A little weaker than I’d like, but I’m going to chalk that up to the loyalty you have for this club. Something I value more than you can possibly understand. Especially now.”
I nodded, trying to shake off some of the anger. JD could be brusque at times, but he inspired loyalty and fellowship in his men and that’s what had drawn me to Wrath in the first place. I just hoped this traitor thing didn’t finally end it all.
“That’s why I don’t want to fuck anything up. I like being Wrath and I intend to keep it that way.”
JD turned serious again, leaning across the table in my direction. “Whether or not you pursue Sasha is not going to change that. I even get the draw you have to both. She’s a good girl.”
He took the final swig of his whiskey and laser focused his gaze on mine.
“But look, here’s the deal. My love life died with Malia and I’m not looking to change that. If I thought Sasha was the kind of woman who could live without love and be happy with good sex, then I’d push your ass out of my fucking way and she’d be mine. But that ain’t her deal. Despite what she’s been through, she has a tenderness about her and a true belief in love. So if you think you could love that girl the way she deserves then I say go for it. Deal?”
He held out his hand and I took it to shake, both our grips firm and serious. “Yeah. That sounds fair.” Although my skepticism didn’t quite believe…
His eyes narrowed a second before his grip tightened and he hauled me across the table and got right in my face. “But you need to get her on the same page as you and quick. I won’t stand in your way, but I’m this fucking close to losing my shit with her. If that happens, she’s fucking ruined.”
I started to say something, but his grip tightened and I was in danger of getting some bones broken soon.
“If you hurt her or play any fucking games with her. I will put you down. She may not be mine to love, but she is mine to protect—for now. Until someone else takes over that job. You fucking feel me?”
I could hardly believe that JD had the strength to haul me across a fucking table with one arm. He’d taken me by complete surprise. Yet, I admired the extent he would go to for Sasha. His actions may not have matched his words, but he was right about one thing for sure. She deserved that kind of loyalty.
“I feel you, boss. I have no desire to hurt her. All I want to do is spend more time with her and see if this thing between us can go somewhere.”
“Fair enough. Although I ain’t joking. You need to lock it down quick.” With that he dropped my hand and stubbed out his cigar directly on the wooden table. “Now, I’m going home because I’ve still got work to do tonight and I’m not into fucking babysitting my own crew.”
I watched him go, both relieved and nervous about our conversation. His devotion to his dead old lady made sense, but it also made me sad. He wasn’t so old that he couldn’t find happiness with another woman, and there was no better woman than Sasha. But those were murky waters to be navigated, and I didn’t wish that on anyone.
Especially not Sasha.
But his words still also rang a little hollow.
“Hey, Prez?” I called out before he could hit the door and disappear.
“Yeah?” He turned back and looked at me in question.
“No offense, but uhh?—“
“Just fucking spit it out,” he sighed, his hand scrubbing over his short beard, fatigue showing in his eyes.
“I get that whole thing about the past, but it doesn’t—I don’t know—fit.”
I watched his face morph into anger, but I wasn’t going to let that deter me. I couldn’t let it go. Not until I had one hundred percent certainty, and we weren’t there yet.
“What’s the real reason you don’t want her?”
His facial expression didn’t change, his face remaining hard as stone. But the muscle in his jaw clenched. I half expected him to return and teach me a lesson with his fists. Instead, he turned and walked out without another word. But I didn’t need it.
I had my answer.