Scorched King (Outlaw Justice #5)

Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

Sasha

When I woke in the morning, I wasn’t alone. I blinked, confused, until I remembered what happened during the night. I took a shallow breath and stayed still, soaking up JD’s heat before curling tighter against his side, reveling in the fact we were together in my bed. Even if it wasn’t the big romantic moment I’d always hoped for.

I had no idea what to do right now. I’d never woken with someone else in my bed before. What was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to pretend I was still sleeping? Creep out of the bed and not wake him? That idea hurt. Especially when I didn’t want it to end.

When I’d woken after only an hour of sleep from a nightmare, and JD burst through my room with wild eyes and a gun in his hand…

I folded my lips between my teeth to keep from giggling about it now. I’d explained it was a dream, but that I was having trouble getting and staying asleep. His offer to help by staying in here with me had sent me reeling, although to be honest, I didn’t want to say no.

Given how I’d felt before falling asleep, I would have preferred a different kind of help—preferably him fucking my brains out. But since even multiple orgasms with my vibrator had done nothing to ease my anxiety, this was probably for the best.

My emotions were already tangled tight without adding sex to the mix.

After all, this was what I’d been dreaming about for a long time. JD in my bed. I still couldn’t believe it.

My hand currently rested on top of his stomach, making it all too real. And I couldn’t help but admire the sensation of his rock-hard abs under my fingers. I’d heard him refer to himself as an old man more than once, but there was nothing about his body that even hinted at his age. Without his shirt, he looked incredibly good, making my mouth practically water. I craved more.

He’d burst in wearing nothing but snug grey boxer briefs that left nothing to the imagination, and I’d nearly lost my mind.

Only the lingering fear from my nightmare had kept me from saying anything. Now, however, he was even closer and his skin was warm and lickable under my fingertips. And in the light of day the last of the nightmare had faded.

“I thought you were going to sleep,” he said softly despite the sleep roughened tone of his voice. Not quite a growl, but it was close.

“I did. But the sun’s up now and my body knows it’s time to get up and start the day.”

“That’s bullshit. It’s probably not past six. Three fucking hours of sleep is not enough. Get more.” He muttered all of this without even opening his eyes, though I longed to see his deep, ocean-blue gaze. I loved how he looked at me. How his eyes burned with a flicker of hunger whenever they finally landed on me. He always attempted to hide his desire, but I frequently caught it anyway.

It was that same hunger in myself that was right this second making my heart beat a little harder, and the ache between my legs grow a little sharper.

“You’re not going back to sleep are you?” He sounded grumpy, and I liked that about him too. His gruff, demanding demeanor drew me closer instead of pushing me away.

I shook my head even though I knew he couldn’t see it. “I’m going to get up, but you should sleep more. I need to get some yoga in this morning. Everything feels too tight.”

He groaned. “You trying to kill me?”

“What?” I didn’t understand what he meant.

“You think I’ll sleep another wink thinking about you in those yoga pants in my living room, your tits swinging free as you bend yourself into weird poses that look like sexual positions on steroids?”

“Oh my God, JD!” My face flamed hot at the reminder of how he’d found me the other day. “It’s just yoga.”

“Keep telling yourself that, babe. I guaran-damn-tee that the inventor of that shit was a horny fucking man. Because every one of those positions puts either your ass, your tits, or your pussy on display and in a position that makes a man want to fuck you. And not easy either.”

My mouth fell open at his assessment as my body went into high alert, my nipples puckering into hard, aching points. “That’s your sex addled brain talking. Are you always this fired up about sex when you wake up in the morning?”

As soon as I said those words, I realized my mistake. It got so quiet and still it was as if the air had been sucked from the room. I wasn’t even sure if JD was breathing at this point.

My heart, however, was on the verge of beating out of my chest.

“I’m sorry,” I said, snatching my hand away from his stomach. However, before I could escape he grabbed my hand lightening quick and pressed it to his side.

“Don’t.”

My eyes widened. Don’t what exactly? I kept that question in my head because I was afraid of the answer. I couldn’t stop replaying yesterday’s events in my head. Considering how he had almost sprinted out of my apartment and then vanished into the clubhouse as soon as we got back, it was clear he wasn’t pleased with what had happened.

And now we were lying in a bed…

I had to admit that his escape the day before still kind of hurt. I was sick to death of the mixed messages and his ultimate refusal to see me as anything more than an employee that he needed to take care of.

“I need to get up,” I insisted, pulling my hand free from his hold and scrambling off the bed. Without looking back at him I grabbed my clothes and disappeared into the bathroom. If he considered my doing yoga in his living room as some sort of torture then that was his problem not mine.

My recovery hinged on the physical therapy, and it couldn’t be avoided. He had an office and his own bedroom he could escape to.

I scraped my hair into a high pony, brushed my teeth and stood staring into my mirror as long as I could. Hiding in the bathroom wasn’t my style before the accident and it wasn’t going to be my go-to now. I took a deep breath and bracing myself, I opened the door.

The breath I’d been holding froze in my lungs at the sight of JD sitting on the side of my bed, facing the bathroom door. Waiting.

“Look, we should?—“

“No,” I interrupted, shaking my head. “I don’t want to hear your excuses again. If you’re too afraid to face this thing between us then that’s on you and you have to live with it. I don’t want or need to hear it again. I’ve had enough rejection from you to last a lifetime.” I reached for my mat and skirted past his big body nearly blocking my way.

Or so I believed.

Just as I thought I had escaped, he grabbed my wrist and yanked me toward him. I stumbled, colliding shoulder-first into his chest and landing squarely in his lap.

And what I felt there… I sucked in a sharp breath. The man wasn’t just huge as already evidenced from the tight briefs, but now he was hard and it poked against my hip like a hot poker attempting to brand me.

I barely stifled a whimper, as I froze, suddenly afraid to move.

“You aren’t walking away like that,” he growled.

I bristled against him. “What’s that supposed to mean? I already told you I have to do my yoga. It’s part of my therapy. If my appearance is too difficult to handle with your sensitive sensibilities, you can either hide in your room until I’m done or I can return to my apartment. I don’t have to stay here, you know.”

“Sassing me again, huh? That’s a surefire way to find yourself on the receiving end of a spanking.”

We both froze as those words sizzled over my skin for a solid minute before fizzling out when he didn’t say anything else or make a move. The more time that stretched between us, the more obvious it was that he’d made a mistake in saying them.

I blew out a breath and did my best to force the image of JD drawing me across his knees to make good on this threat from my head.

“I really could move back home. It would make things easier for us both.” Well, him. For me, the idea of being alone in my apartment kind of scared the crap out of me. Although I knew I couldn’t hide here forever. The time for me to be alone again was coming, and maybe it would be better now than later before I got used to the company no matter how maddening it was.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

I sighed again blowing all of the air out of my lungs on a huff. “I don’t want to fight with you, JD. It’s too confusing.”

“Are you sure about that?” He said the words in that low and deep tone of his that I felt deep in my core. His mouth was inches from my ear and his breath caressed my skin. I didn’t really want to fight, but what choice did I have? I didn’t want to manipulate him in any way either. Because, right now, I’d do just about anything for his attention.

“What I want I can’t have so I guess fighting is the next best thing. At least knowing I get something from you is better than nothing.” I said the words on barely an audible whisper but I knew he heard them. If I wasn’t sure, I was when his entire body stiffened against my back.

“And what is it you want?” he asked on a growl.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t really want to hear the answers to, JD. We both know you already know. I’m not stupid and neither are you.”

He moved so quickly I barely saw it, but in a flash I was turned in his lap, facing him with my legs straddling his legs. But it was the shock of his hardness now pressed against my core instead of my ass that threatened to melt my brain. If I moved just an inch I could have all of that right where I wanted it and to say I wasn’t above rubbing against him like a cat in heat was more true than I should want to admit, even to myself.

“Don’t you get it, Sasha. Look at me. I have lived, and still do, a rough life. I have more scars on my body from bullet holes and knife stabs than any one man should.” As he spoke, I zeroed in on one of the bullet hole scars he mentioned almost center on his chest. I rubbed my fingers over it and tried to imagine the damage it must have inflicted. How close he might have been to death because of it… He grabbed my hand and held it against his skin, not letting go. “That one definitely should have killed me. But I guess not even the devil was ready for the likes of me. I’m hard and mean when I have to be, which is most of the time, and I’ll take on just about any risk I have to in order to get a job done.”

“You’re like a cat with nine lives,” I whispered.

“Then I’m probably on the ninth now and since I won’t retire from this life until I either can’t ride my bike anymore or I’m cold in the ground, I might not be much longer for this world.”

“That’s a pretty bleak outlook even for you, JD. You’re the strongest man I know. You always have a plan.” His rough fingers were rubbing the back of my hand and I wondered if he even realized it was happening. Or the kind of effect that simple touch had on me.

“That’s why someone as sweet and light as yourself has no business with someone like me. Not to mention we both know I’m too old and you’re too young.”

The words landed like a slap.

Too young.

Right.

My chest tightened, but I forced my expression to stay blank. No reaction. No weakness.

“Right,” I said, lifting my chin. “Too young. Got it.”

But anger at that tired excuse made me squirm and when his hard cock bumped against my clit we both gasped. My mind blanked as I tried to remember what else I’d been about to say.

His hands came down to my waist and he pressed my hips downward along the full length of his cock. It didn’t even seem to make a difference that we both had layers of clothing separating us. At the sensation of his hardness against my softness, I lost my breath. The friction between us was electric, as if the material of our clothes didn’t even exist.

“You’re too good for this life. Especially for me.”

“Too good?” I choked on the words. “Sweet and light? Have you lost your mind? I know you know where I come from so how can you accuse me of being too anything for your club? Maybe too used up you mean. You think I don’t know men who know where I come from will only think I’m good for one thing?” I tried shoving away from him, but his hands were like iron vises on my hips and it was clear he wasn’t going to let me get away gracefully.

“Don’t ever say bullshit like that,” he growled, the tone so menacing even I was taken aback. His fingers tightened on my skin and I knew they were going to leave bruises in their wake. “I don’t hold anyone’s past against them. Especially you, babe. You did what you had to in order to survive. That’s fucking life. We all have done that at one time or another. Some of us much worse.”

Tears pricked at the back of my eyes at his words, but no way would I let a single one fall. How many tears had I already shed for the shit I’d endured? “And you allowed me to get away from that life. You took a chance on me as a dancer when I had no real experience and without that, I’d still be selling my body in that seedy motel.” A rough shudder worked down my spine thinking about it. I didn’t regret doing what I had to in order to survive, but I never wanted to go back there either. “You gave me the closest thing I’ve ever had to a family.”

“Babe,” he whispered, his fingers tighter than ever on my hips. Someone else might have cried out from the pain of his bruising grip, but I didn’t. I relished it. Sometimes the numbness of life became too much to bear and if all you could get to feel alive was pain, then it was pain you relished. “Ain’t no one trying to get rid of you.”

I made a noise at the back of my throat that was part whimper and part scoff. No matter what he said, if the president of the club couldn’t bear to have me around, my days were numbered plain and simple.

“But if you want to stay with us, someone like Bear would be a better match. He’s a good man. He can give you what you need. Especially that family you ache for. That man would plant so many babies in you, you’d never get a fucking break.”

Fresh anger rose alongside my pain. I could barely believe what he’d just said. It hurt so much I thought my heart might wither and die in my chest at that very moment.

“Is that your big plan, then? Hand me over to Bear like it means nothing? I know a lot of MC clubs consider their women property, but I thought Wrath was different.” I paused, trying to catch my breath. “I thought you were different.”

“I guess that’s where you’re wrong. Ain’t no one at Wrath into using their women in ways they don’t love, but make no mistake on our possessive natures. Whether you’re an old lady, a club girl or an employee, as long as you choose to live here, you belong to the club. Which means you follow my goddamned rules. All of them.”

A more intense shiver traveled down my spine and into the wet core between my legs. He might have meant that proclamation to frighten me, but it had the opposite effect. I wanted more. And he must have sensed my reaction because when I looked up into his crystal blue eyes that were now slightly hooded, I saw the same kind of reaction.

How was I ever going to get past this—incessant want. The time apart from him had done nothing to cool my desire. And it seemed as long as his actions didn’t match his words, I was never going to stop aching for him. He was right. I felt that belonging to Wrath down to my bones and I loved that feeling. It didn’t suffocate like one might expect. Not at all. Instead there was an odd sense of freedom when it came to knowing you had a whole club of men at your back.

But he was wrong about one thing. “I’m not going to be Bear’s old lady. I—I can’t.”

“Why’s that, baby girl? He wants you. It’s on his face every time he talks about or looks at you. He’d work his ass off to make you happy. You’d never want for anything.”

The fact JD was rubbing his cock along my seam as he talked about me going to another man seemed as wrong as it did right. “Is that what you really want? Me and Bear together? Should I invite him over to take over right now? You getting me primed for another man?”

He froze, his eyes going from their cool blue to a stormy dark in an instant. I wasn’t sure what possessed me to say those words, but they were out there now and even if I wanted to, I couldn’t take them back.

After the silence between us stretched far too long, he finally responded. “Don’t be a brat, babe. You know this is more than about sex. If I thought you’d be happy with just sex from me, and if I thought you could handle that darkness in me, I’d be buried balls deep in your beautiful cunt, with my fingers working that tight asshole at the same time, until you begged me to shove my cock down your throat so you could swallow down my cum.”

My stomach jerked at the vivid picture JD painted with his words while his cock brushed against my clit. He had no idea how badly I wanted that very thing or how far I might go to get it. “You’ve always underestimated me. Since that first day we met when you didn’t think I had enough experience to handle working for you, to the job at the casino that you reluctantly allowed. And yet…” This time I took the lead and fighting his grip, I pushed down against his cock, causing us both to take a sharp breath. “I’ve done well with all of them.”

He lifted his hand and reached for my nipple, taking it between his fingers and twisting it until I wanted to scream.

“I didn’t underestimate you. I would have never given you any job if I didn’t think you could do it. That you do all of them better than anyone else is a testament to your perfection. It’s why I can’t keep my filthy hands off of you.”

My stomach swooped again and my head buzzed with his high praise. JD wasn’t the kind of man to gush about others, so hearing him now meant something. More than I wanted to admit.

“I like your filthy hands.”

“You sure about that? These hands have been involved in things that would make you run and hide if you knew the details.”

“Stop trying to scare me away. If getting blown up in a building by a mad man didn’t do it, then finding out that an outlaw biker has done bad things isn’t going to shock me either.”

As if to punctuate the power of those words, a phone not mine, started to vibrate on my nightstand. JD growled and lifted me off of him, pressing a quick kiss to my neck as he placed me on the bed. “Gotta get that. Expecting a new job to start today.”

“Oh yeah?” I didn’t hear much about Wrath business, beyond the rumors around the staff, but it seemed that with the poker club temporarily shut down and the dealings with the group out of Seattle concluded, business had been unnaturally quiet around the compound.

JD swiped his cell from the table without another word and brought it to his ear. “Yeah.”

I wasn’t trying to listen to his conversation, but it was hard not to notice the change in his demeanor. He went from semi relaxed and definitely aroused to something akin to high alert. Whatever was going on, I got the impression it wasn’t great.

“Okay. I want everyone at the clubhouse within the hour so we can vote on this shit. I’m going to let them know yes for now, and we’ll sort out the details in church.”

I always thought it was weird they referred to their club meetings as church. I’d heard it was a common practice amongst motorcycle clubs, but still. Why not just call it a meeting?

He placed his phone down and stood. “I’ve got to get going. Club business.”

“Okay.” Saved by the cellphone, I guess? I mean where were we headed anyways? We were flirting dangerously with sex, and as much as I wanted that…

“Don’t look so sad, baby girl. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Probably going to send Bear over here to keep an eye out on you.”

I shot him a look. “You can’t force me to be his old lady, JD. No matter how much time we have to spend together, nothing is going to change. He’s like an older brother to me. I love him, but I’m not in love with him. And before you get a wild hair, do not tell me that could change. It won’t.”

“Then you might want to tell him that. Boy’s got a hard on for you something fierce. You don’t want him or me to get the wrong idea? Then set him straight.”

“What about—” I stopped before I could finish the question. We both knew I wouldn’t like the answer so what was the point of asking in the first place.

He crossed over to me and gripped my chin to tilt my head until I looked him in the eyes. “You talk to Bear and set him straight. But do it with all that kindness you’ve got inside you, because he’s a good man and deserves the truth and maybe a little sweet. Then we’ll talk, okay?”

I could barely breathe, but I did manage a nod. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?

JD shook his head. “I swear to Christ you are too fucking sweet for your own good. I give you a hint I want you on my dick and you look ready to jump the fuck on. Do you have any idea what kind of power that gives a man like me? Fuck, Sasha. You need to be careful. You need to learn how to guard your heart from a monster.”

“You’re not a monster,” I whispered, still barely able to breathe.

He shook his head and on a curse, his lips connected with mine. I thought it was just going to be a swipe of our mouths on his way out the door, but he went deep, grabbing me by the throat and forcing me to open for more. I melted the instant his warm tongue slid against mine. I thought he was in a hurry and this would be quick, but he kissed me like a man who had all the time in the world and then some.

Instead of pulling away, he deepened that kiss with the force of his tongue and a squeeze of his calloused fingers wrapped around the column of my neck keeping me right where he wanted me. He ate at my mouth, and every abrade of his beard against my sensitive skin sent shock waves of pleasure racing down my spine.

By the time he broke away from me, I was both dazed from the sensuality of that possession and panting for more. “Be my good girl and talk to Bear,” he said, his forehead pressed against mine. “Then we’ll see. I honestly don’t know where this can go. I’d tell you not to get your hopes up, but I’m pretty sure you’re going to feel the way you feel no matter what I say or do.”

I bit back a grin as he let me go and finished dressing. By the time he walked out the door, I was on cloud nine. Between him calling me his good girl and leaving me breathless with the kiss of a lifetime, I had half a mind to get my vibrator out and give that another go because I was pretty sure I would die of want long before JD ever made it back.