Secrets of Mine (Of Mine #2)

9. River

9

RIVER

I admit that I’m a control freak. It’s not something I’m looking to change. It makes me good at my job. It means I can protect those I care about and, when I take it to the extremes, being in control is as thrilling for me as not being in control is for Freya.

I’ve felt that need for control since I was a child and my con-artist parents were using me as their bait. As soon as I got out from under their thumb, I promised myself I would never let anyone else use me ever again. It’s a promise I kept through all the various foster homes that followed and then still as I worked my way up in the FBI.

So I’m not unfamiliar with the need for control, but nothing and no one inspires in me the urge to dominate quite like Freya does.

Her refusal to do as she’s told sparks twin flames of irritation and desire inside of me. I’ve been semi-hard since our exchange in the parking lot, and I cannot wait to make her pay for that.

But Freya is a force of nature. I’ve got her where I wanted her, in my hotel room, by my side, but she’s still bucking against her reins.

I walk across the room and take off my tie. “Sulking is unbecoming,” I tell her, cutting her a look in the mirrored doors of the closet as she hangs about just inside the entrance to my room. I fold the tie and place it on the end of the bed in case I need it to follow through on the promise I made earlier.

Freya’s gaze darts to the tie, her eyes narrowing but her cheeks blushing pink. I withhold a smirk and turn back to the closet, flicking Freya’s grumpy image away as I slide open the door and hang up my suit jacket.

“Yeah, well, forcing a girl to come back to a hotel with you isn’t exactly ‘becoming’ either.”

I tsk and walk over to the desk positioned in front of the window. I turn to face Freya and lean against it. The room is nothing special and the desk is only here to provide a place for the tray of minibar snacks and subpar coffee. Which, to my eternal disappointment, means it’s most likely not strong enough for me to fuck her against.

“Should I be honored? You usually save the worst of your brattiness for Eli.”

Hurt tugs at her face for a microsecond before she hides it with a shrug. “Yeah, well, Eli wants nothing to do with me anymore, so I guess you’re in luck.”

I pause, confusion digging into my brows. I push off the desk and cross the room to Freya, cupping her face in my palm so she looks up at me. “What are you talking about?”

Freya meets my eyes then drops her gaze to my chin. “He’s been avoiding me since we left Virginia.”

I run through the last few days in my head, trying to remember if Eli has seemed off. Nothing comes to mind, but I have been rather focused on the case. “Are you sure?” I ask. “Why would he do that?”

Freya raises a brow and forces a smile that is closer to a grimace than I think she realizes. “If you find out, let me know.”

“I’ll talk to him,” I promise.

“Yeah, whatever.” She presses her lips together.

I track my gaze over her face, taking in the gray-blue bags under her eyes and the tightness in her jaw.

I place my thumb on her chin, my knuckles underneath it, and tilt her head up towards me. “You need a release.”

Freya rolls her eyes. “I’m fine.”

I tighten my grip on her chin. “You’re not fine.” I catch sight of the tip of one of the scars in the V-neck of her shirt. “I don’t think you’ve ever been fine. But we’ll get there.” I place a gentle kiss on her lips.

I leave her where she is and walk over to sit down on the end of the bed.

She watches me carefully.

I tap my thigh. “Come here.”

Her brows shoot up. “You’re not serious?”

“Oh, I very much am. And it wasn’t a request, darling, it was an order.”

Freya scoffs and shakes her head. “I’m not going to present myself to you like a goddamn sacrifice just so you can spank me.”

“Not a sacrifice, a surrender. And yes, you will.”

She opens her impetuous mouth again, but I cut her off. “You’ll do it because you know you need this as much as I do. You’ll do it because you’re fighting for control right now and I can change that. But most importantly, you’ll do it because. I. Said. So.”

I hold her gaze, letting my words sink into the heated silence between us. Her leg twitches. I can see her fighting with herself, weighing up the need to be dominated against her fear of losing control. Then she gives in and walks over to me.

I raise my hand, stopping her before she bends over. “Pants off.”

Freya works her jaw. Her fingers tremble a little as she unbuttons her pants and pulls them down her legs.

I drop my eyes to where they pool on the floor, her panties caught up in the material, a distinctive wet spot on display. My semi goes to full mast. I can smell her, sweet and musky, and it takes an awful lot of restraint not to just throw her onto the bed and eat out her perfect pussy till she screams.

“You may proceed.”

When Freya makes no move, I look up to see her face a flaming red. I know what I’m asking her to do is hard. She’d rather I forced her into position but that’s the point. I don’t want to take her control tonight; I want her to give it to me.

My feelings for Freya knocked me out of left field. I didn’t think I’d ever let anyone else into my small circle but then Freya came crashing in like a fireball and I’ve been burning for her ever since. I’m so in love with this woman she could ask me to end the world, and I’d find a way.

I’d do anything for her and on the surface she may not like what I’m making her do right now, but I know it’s what she needs.

I run my hand up the back of her thigh, lending her my strength.

She glances down at me.

I nod.

Her throat bobs as she swallows and opens her mouth. The breath leaves her lungs, the sound of it weighing down the air, torquing up the tension. Slowly, she places her hands on my left thigh and lowers herself over my lap. Once she’s there, she lets her hands drop to the carpet, giving me her whole weight.

“Good girl.”

A tremor runs through her body. Her shirt slipped a little when she laid down, and I stroke my hand over her lower back and the cleft of her ass. My cock throbs against her stomach.

“What now?”

I get the sense her teeth are gritted as she asks the question.

I smile to myself. “Now, you ask me to punish you.”

She sucks in a sharp breath. I’m pushing her limits, I know, but she’s holding on to too much and the only way she’s going to let go is if I break her. Then I’ll spread her out on this damn hotel bed and put her back together again.

“Freya.” I tap her ass. “I’m waiting.”

She squirms and tries to push herself up so I hook my right leg around hers and lock her in place. “Every second from this point onwards will add another five strokes to your punishment. One, two, three?—”

“Please punish me, Sir!” the words tumble out on a breath, her chest heaving against my thighs.

A rush pulses through me at her submission and the corner of my lip tips up. “With pleasure,” I say.

I bring my palm down on her ass, a satisfying smack resounding through the room. I rub circles on her now pink cheeks, easing the sting and warming up my hand. Then I begin.

I go hard and fast. Other than the fifteen she got for making me wait, I’m not keeping to a number this time. I want to get her to breaking point and I don’t know how much that will take.

Her skin heats beneath my touch. I switch between each ass cheek, giving them both a healthy glow before dropping to the tops of her thighs.

She lets out a shriek at that, her hand lifting off the floor to grip my ankle.

I stop for a moment, dipping my hand under her to run my fingers through her soaked pussy.

She shudders. “How many more, Sir?”

Her hold on my ankle is tight and I can feel the tension still trapped in her body.

“You tell me darling, the sooner you let go the quicker this ends.” I bring my palm down on her ass again, harder than before. Her butt jiggles and her skin glistens where my fingers leave behind her own arousal.

She screams with each smack, but I keep going. I feel the tension in her body building and then she coils up tight.

“Fuck you, River, I hate you!” she yells.

I land one last smack on her burning ass, and she finally breaks, a sob tearing from her throat. She goes limp on my lap, all that tension, all that fight, draining away. I run my smarting hand up and down her back as she cries, her whole body shaking.

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s alright. I’ve got you.” I pick her up and hug her, holding her to me as she lets it all out, crying into my shoulder until her sobs ease off and she lifts her head. I brush the tears off her face and untangle her hair with my fingers. “You did so well, darling. So well.” Her lips taste salty when I kiss her, murmuring praise against her mouth.

She leans into me, kissing me harder, and I give her the comfort she’s seeking for one moment before I force myself to pull back. She’s just settling into sub-space now and I don’t want her coming out of it yet. She needs a break from all the thoughts in her head, all the guilt and the constant worries. When she’s like this, all Freya has to do is exactly what I tell her.

I ease her off my lap and onto her knees between my legs.

Her hands come up to rest on my thighs and I thread my fingers through her fiery curls, tilting her head back and keeping my promise from earlier. “Time to apologize, darling.”

She blinks up at me.

“Undo my zipper.”

Her hands shake as she does as I ordered. Once the zipper’s down she instinctively looks up at me for permission.

Satisfaction fills me and I dip my head, giving it to her.

She reaches into my boxers and frees my rock-hard cock from my pants.

I groan at her touch, pre-come leaking from the head of my thick shaft. “Good girl,” I say. “Now show me how sorry you are and swallow me all the way down that tight little throat of yours.”

Her eyes flutter shut as she moans.

The sound is heavenly, and I need to be inside her. Now.

I guide her hot mouth to my cock and thrust my hips forward, forcing myself all the way in.

She chokes a little, her tight throat constricting around my dick.

I hold her in place, pleasure rippling down my spine. “Relax, breathe through your nose. I’m staying right here, darling. Right where I belong. Your mouth was made for me, Freya. Every part of you is mine. Do you understand?”

Her hands dig into my hips and she does her best to nod as I hold her head in place with both hands. She’s so gorgeous like this. Tears in her eyes. Makeup smeared. Her mouth stretched wide around my cock.

“You’re mine, Freya,” I say again. “And you’re fucking perfect.” I pull her head back and let her breathe before plowing back into her and fucking her mouth like I’d fuck her cunt. This woman. She makes me desperate for control and she makes me lose it.

She lets me use her, pumping in and out of her hot, wet mouth. Spit drooling from her lips.

My breathing turns ragged, and I pull her close. My back tightens, and I shout out Freya’s name as I explode violently down her throat, hot spurts of my cum filling her up.

I let go of her head and she drops it against my thigh, her mouth still suckling my softening cock. God, now that’s a kink I didn’t know I had.

I let her suck on me a while longer as I run my shaking fingers through her hair. When I start to get hard again, I pick her up under the arms and lay her down on the bed.

She’s still zoned out, but she winces when her sore ass hits the comforter. I go to the closet to dig a tub of aloe out of my travel bag then kneel on the bed beside her. “Roll over for me, darling.”

She does so without hesitation, nothing but utter trust in her eyes. My heart swells inside my chest.

I unscrew the lid and gently rub the aloe over her reddened cheeks. She groans at my touch but the way she squirms into the covers makes me think the pain isn’t all that unpleasant.

I smile and once I’ve finished tending to her ass, I dip my hand between her legs and stroke my fingers through her folds. She’s so wet I can hear it and when my fingers find her clit her hands curl around the sheets.

I draw circles around the small bundle of nerves until she comes apart, squirting all over my hand.

God, that’s hot.

Freya rolls onto her back. I don’t think she has the energy to open her eyes, but she finds the right words. “Thank you, Sir.”

I lean down and kiss her, then lie by her side until she’s gained enough strength to stand. Then I carry her into the shower and get her ready for bed.

I catalogue her scars as I pull my shirt over her head like I do every time I see her naked. The eight pink, angry raised crosses on her chest are the worst and they fill me with rage.

Freya has so much trauma and the last thing I want to do is make her relive it, but I’m afraid that if she wants to catch her father, that’s exactly what we’ll have to do.