2. Sheri
2
SHERI
I watch Ace cross the room, back to his own table. Not sure if it’s my imagination, I frown at his back as I contemplate his words. Or lack thereof. I know he wanted to say something else, but I’m guessing Karen’s presence put him off.
I’m curious as to what is on his mind. That’s why I said I’d call later to chat. I’ll do a little digging and see what’s on his mind. When a server stops at our table, I put aside my thoughts for the moment and place my order.
Also a single mom, Karen and I bonded over the loss of our children’s fathers. Her husband passed in a five-car pile-up on the highway during a business trip. Left to raise three children, the third of which was still on the way when he died, Karen relocated to be closer to his parents since both of hers are gone.
We’re planning a short vacation together when the kids go on summer vacation one last time. While Leila is the sister of my heart, with her working full time, we don’t get to spend nearly as much time together as we’d like. Karen being home all the time, I’ve had company during the workday.
But now, she’ll be going back to work full time in the fall, and I’m hoping to get something going for myself to keep me occupied now the boys are older. They don’t need me quite as much, and I have a lot of time on my hands during the day with them now both at school. I just need to make time to put a business plan together. And map out the financial costs.
“Any thoughts on where to go this year?” Karen asks.
“How about Coronado Island?” I reply. “John and I always spoke about going, but never did.”
“Oh, that sounds fun. I’ve never even thought about it.”
Despite getting caught up in the planning, I can’t stop myself from glancing over at Ace’s table. Regularly. Disappointment rocks me when I notice him and his family getting ready to leave. I mean, it’s not like we were hanging out or anything. Just knowing he was in the room was enough. Now he’s leaving, and I want to ask him to stay.
His mom turns in my direction, and it suddenly hits me it’s her birthday. I interrupt poor Karen mid-sentence. “Sorry, Karen. I’ll be right back,” I say before dashing across the room.
“Hi,” I greet everyone. “Mrs. Colins, I didn’t want to interrupt earlier, but I wanted to wish you a very happy birthday before you leave.”
“Oh, thank you, honey. That’s very sweet of you,” Mrs. Colins replies. “It’s lovely to see you. It’s been a while. You and the boys should pop around for a barbecue sometime. Soon.”
“Definitely. Let me know when works for you and let’s get something on the calendar.”
“Perfect. I’ll certainly do that,” she replies.
“It was lovely to see you all. We’ll chat soon, Mrs. Colins.”
I head back to my own table as the Colins family leaves the restaurant and, as silly as it might sound, I keenly feel Ace’s absence. What I wouldn’t give to be a part of that close-knit group. But I can’t find the courage to tell Ace how I feel.
The server and I arrive back at the table at the same time, and my mouth waters at the sight of the delicious food. I missed breakfast this morning, getting the boys fed and ready to head out, so I’m more than ready to dig in.
Conversation centers around our vacation plans as we enjoy our meal, laughing over shared memories of vacations gone by. Last to finish, I’m just putting my cutlery down when the server pops up at our table.
“Can I get you some dessert, ladies?”
“Oh damn, look at the time. I need to get going,” Karen says, checking her watch. “I had so much fun planning, I completely lost track of time. I best go rescue my in-laws. Those three of mine can be a handful,” Karen says, rummaging around in her wallet before putting some cash on the table.
She dashes for the door after a flurry of hugs and cheek kisses, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Not really a situation I relish finding myself in. Thoughts of Ace is definitely dangerous territory. Not to mention the punch of guilt I feel. Mav’s been gone five years and still guilt is a thing — but he’s gone, and I need to move on.
Our server pulls me out of my head when she returns, asking, “Ma’am, will you be indulging in something sweet, or would you like me to bring your bill?”
Without hesitation, I reply, “I’m definitely going to indulge.” At least that’s one indulgence that’s guiltfree. There’s no one to see my muffin-top.
Chuckling along with me, she hands me the dessert menu. I give it a cursory before settling on my go-to Crème Br?lée.
“I’ll be right back with your order, ma’am.”
I give her a thank you smile, my thoughts already turning inwards once again, Back to where they always seem to go. Kevin Colins, a.k.a. Ace. The man has been on my mind for months now. And I still can’t say how exactly that happened.
One minute he was nothing more than that sweet friend you could count on for anything. No matter where, no matter what time. If I needed him, all I had to do was call or text and, if he was on home soil, he would come without fail.
Until one day, out of the blue, I looked over at the man and felt like I’d run into a brick wall. Without warning, in the midst of a hello hug, the scent of him wrapped itself around me into my awareness. A scent I’d inhaled a million times and never thought about suddenly felt like more than comfort and safety. It felt like passion and hot, sweaty nights, a lifetime of laughter and companionship. Like home.
Swiftly, on the heels of those thoughts, guilt unlike I’ve ever felt hit me square in the solar plexus. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t utter a word, and I sure as hell couldn’t explain how or when things had changed. When Ace noticed my distress, he assumed I was struggling with a wave of grief, since those would hit anytime out of nowhere.
He pulled me in, tucked me close to his heart, and held me tight, offering me his silent comfort.
I may not know the when or the how of it, but in that moment — with startling clarity — I knew the why of it. This man, without a hesitation or a second thought, offered me shelter from a storm that had threatened to destroy me, no explanations required.
His friendship and protection offered without question.
Now, here we are. Me lusting after a man that was one of my husband’s best friends. And all I can think of is getting him naked and doing things to, and with, him. The poor man offers me solace and strength, and all I can think of is ravaging him.
He’s an incredibly sweet and thoughtful man, with the most beautiful heart. So much like Maverick, in a million ways, and yet also very different from the man I married. And now that I’ve developed feelings for Ace, I’m going to have to distance myself from him.
It’s going to hurt like a son of a bitch not being able to be around him anymore, to deprive my children of his warmth and guidance, but it would hurt a crap ton more being around him and never being able to tell him how I feel.
I also have zero idea of how to do so without hurting him, since I can’t tell him why I’m doing it. Lord have mercy, how the hell did this happen?
Having well and truly depressed myself with my unhappy thoughts, I savor the last mouthful of the creamy dessert before calling for the bill. Time to pick my boys up from their play dates before heading for home.
It takes a while, with the obligatory pleasantries and a cup of coffee with Luke’s friend’s mother, but a couple of hours later I pull into my driveway to find Ace already parked there. My heart speeds up and my hands begin to shake as I realize the moment of reckoning has arrived way sooner than I’m ready for.
By the time he leaves, I’ll be a wrecked and blubbering mess once again. This sucks, but there’s nothing else for it.