20. Ace
20
ACE
The doctor checks the stats on the monitor, makes a note, then takes a seat on the side of my bed. I’m not sure if that bodes well or not, so I wait to hear which it’ll be.
“Mr. Colins, I have to say, I’m pretty happy with how quickly you’ve responded to treatment and how well you’re healing up. The wound is looking good, healthy, so no concerns there. The only concern I have about letting you go home is you being on your own.
“Knowing what you do for a living, I know you’re used to doing for yourself. In this instance, that just won’t do. You’ll undo all the healing you’ve done here. So, unless you can convince me you have someone responsible to take care of you at home, I’m going to have to rethink my offer to release you a little early.”
“He does, Doctor,” I hear from somewhere behind Dr. Weaver. I’d recognize that voice anywhere. As her words sink in, my heart squeezes. If only that were true.
“Ah, hello.” The doctor twist a little to see who she’s talking to. “I remember you from the day Mr. Colins was admitted, but I haven’t seen you since.”
“No, ma’am. My boys picked up a bug, and I didn’t want to bring that to the hospital.”
“I thank you for your consideration. And are they better now?
“Yes, back to normal.”
“Good to hear. So, you say you’ll be with Mr. Colins at home?”
“Yes. I’ve arranged to have Mr. Colins come stay with me for a while to recuperate fully,” Sheri says.
“Ah. Wonderful. Well, in that case, I’ll be happy to sign the discharge form,” Dr. Weaver says, turning back to me. “Take care, Mr. Colins. At the risk of sounding rude, I hope to not see you back here anytime soon.”
Despite the confusion that’s rioting through my brain right now, I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I can’t say I’m in any rush to visit again.”
Once she and the nurse leave the room, the nurse promising to be back as soon as possible with the paperwork, an uncomfortable silence falls in the room. There’s so much that I want to say to Sheri that I don’t even know where to start.
As for arranging for me to stay with her, I can’t wrap my head around it and certainly don’t quite know how to feel about it.
“Hi,” is all Sheri eventually says. It’s clear she’s nervous from the way she’s shifting from foot to foot.
“Um, yeah — hi.” Awkward much?
Sheri moves to the side of my bed — within touching distance — and I ache to do just that. But after these few days where she’s been absent, not to mention distant, I’m not sure how to behave. I mean, sure, she’s apparently taking me to her house — and I’m not sure how I feel about that either.
“Sheri, I’m not su—” I start to say.
“Look, Ace, I know I’m prob—” Sheri says at the same time. “Sorry, go ahead.”
“No, it’s fine. You go ahead.”
“Oh — um ... I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now. And honestly, I don’t blame you. But I’d like a chance to talk to you, explain. More than that though, you need someone to take care of you while you heal, and I’d be honored if you’d let that person be me.”
“Speaking of, where’s Leila? She said she’d be by this morning.”
“That’s part of what I wanted to talk to you about.” Sheri bites her lip for a moment, then continues. “Regardless of what happens, will you at least let me do that for you? Take care of you, I mean.”
I’m stinging from her treatment of me recently but am also desperate to get out of here. If staying with her and the boys is the only way I can do that, I’ll bide my time until I can go home.
“Yes, fine. But we really do need to talk,” I reply, my words a little more clipped than I mean them to be.
She bites her lip again, nodding without a word. Not that it matters because the nurse chooses that moment to return. Once the formalities are done with, I ease out of the bed, grab my clothes, and make my way to the bathroom.
Reluctantly, I allow the nurse to wheel me as far as the front door of the hospital and wait while Sheri brings the car around. With the nurse’s assistance I get myself situated in her minivan.
“You okay? The seatbelt not causing any discomfort?” she asks.
“No, I’m good,” I reply, lying through my teeth but not wanting to delay getting away from this place.
“Okay, well, here we go then.”
The entire drive home is made in silence, no less awkward than the one in the hospital room. I just can’t find it in me to make pointless small talk when there’s so many important things we need to talk about. It seems, neither can she.
Finally, we’re pulling into Sheri’s driveway, and I let out a silent sigh of relief. My entire torso is on fire from the pressure of the seatbelt and, feeling like an old man, I’m desperate for a nap. She comes around to my side and offers me a hand.
“I can do it.” Sheri snatches her hand back as if I’d attempted to bite her.
“Sure. Of course. Um, I’ll just get your stuff out of the car and meet you over by the front door then.”
Without a word, not giving me a chance to say anything else, she hurries around the back of the minivan to grab my bag Merlin and Leila brought to me at the hospital.
I shuffle up her drive to the front door and damned if I’m not winded by the time I reach the fucking thing. Carefully, she goes around me to unlock, shoving the door open for me to precede her into the house.
“I’ve set you up in the guest room down here so you wouldn’t have to navigate the stairs.” I feel that clutch in my chest once again.
“Thanks, ‘ppreciate it,” is all I reply.
It looks as if Sheri wants to say more, but instead she simply nods and walks away, my bag in her small hand.
“Make yourself comfortable on the sofa. I’ll make you something to drink and a light snack, and then you’re welcome to have a nap if you like.”
“I’m not a fucking child, Sheri. You don’t need to make me a snack and put me down for a nap. Jesus.” The minute the words are out of my mouth I want to snatch them back.
The look on her face before she can shutter her expression slices clean through me. Yeah, I’m mad at her right now, but I didn’t mean to lash out at her like that. God, if I overheard a guy — any guy — talk to his lady like that I’d lay him out cold.
And here I am, treating her like shit. Just because I’m mad at her doesn’t mean I get a free pass to treat her that way. Heaving a huge sigh that instantly makes me regret my life choices, I grip the back of my neck, massaging the tightness there.
“Shit. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Oh. No. No need to apologize. I’ll, um — I’ll just go grab you some coffee.” She turns to leave, but not before I see the sheen of tears. Taking a couple of steps toward the kitchen, she stops again but doesn’t turn. “Can I get you anything else? Are you hungry?”
God, please just shoot me now. I feel like such an ass.
I move over to where Sheri’s standing and gently wrap a hand around her upper arm. The softness of her skin never fails to amaze me, and I feel the touch throughout my entire body.
“Sheri — sweet cheeks — look at me. Please.”
Her shoulders round forward, almost like she’s attempting to protect herself, and damned if that doesn’t slice deep.
“Please ...” She clears her throat. “Please don’t call me that when you’re angry at me. I can’t bear it. I associate that name with love and affection and tenderness. I don’t ever want to connect it with anger.”
Well, if there was ever a prize for feeling like a total douche bag, I would probably walk away with the biggest one right now.
“I wouldn’t do that to you. Please. Will you just look at me?”
It seems to take forever, but eventually Sheri lifts her gaze to mine. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m in pain, I’m scared I’m losing you, and I lashed out. I shouldn’t have, but you have to know I would never do that to you. I know how you feel about my nickname for you.”
“I’m the one who should be sorry.” Sheri’s voice cracks and tears stream down her face.
Pulling her into my embrace, I wrap her up as tight as I can without putting undue stress on my stitches. My eyes water a little at the bite of pain, yet I’m unwilling to end the hug. As I hold her close to my heart, I inhale that soft floral scent that I will forever associate with her.
I run a hand up and down her back, murmuring to her. We stand like that for who knows how long. Eventually her tears slow, then stop. Until I can’t anymore.
“Baby, I would give anything to stand here, holding you all day?—”
“Oh God ... sorry — your wound. What was I thinking? Well, I guess I wasn’t. Come on, let’s get you on the sofa.”
Despite the situation we find ourselves in, her words take my mind straight to the gutter. “Yeah, and once you’ve got me there, whatever will you do with me?” The words are out before I think better of it.
The shock on Sheri’s face has me snorting with mirth. For a beat or six, all she can do is stare like I’ve lost my mind, and then she cracks up.
“You’re so bad. You know that, right?” she says through her own merriment.
“I know, but you love me anyway.” Sheri’s expression turns sober, and my heart sinks. Here it comes . Her response is not what I expect, though.
“Yeah, I do. More than I will ever be able to accurately express. And I’ve done a piss-poor job of showing it lately. But I’m going to fix that. Today.”
“You are?”
“I absolutely am. For now, I need you to know I love you and I’m sorry for how I’ve behaved recently.” She takes my hand and leads me over to the sofa. “Here, take a seat. I have a lot I need to say to you, and we may as well be comfortable while I do.”
Silently, I take a seat. Not sure I’m ready to hear what Sheri has to say. Not that it seems I have an option.
“When Maverick died, I felt as if a piece of me died with him — a huge piece. There were a lot of days I wanted to do the same. The only thing that kept me going was my support system. Our parents — but they were so far away — Leila, the guys ... you.
“Especially Leila and you. You were my anchors. You reminded me daily that my boys needed me to hang in there. They’d already lost one parent. Then Merlin pulled his dick move, and Leila found herself drowning in very similar emotions.”
Sheri shakes her head, and I can only imagine she’s thinking back on that dark time in our lives.
“So, between the boys and Leila, I found a way to claw myself out of those dark thoughts. They needed me to be strong for them. Bullying Leila into not giving up helped me to not give up. I mean, I had to lead by example, right?”
I nod, following her train of thought.
“Through all of it, you quietly, steadfastly stood by me — all of you guys — but most especially you. The visits, the impromptu take-out and movie nights, the outings, the barbecues in our backyard. It gave me something to look forward to, and slowly — excruciatingly slowly — I felt my heart begin to heal. To build protective shields around the most broken parts of my heart.”
I listen to her pouring that heart out, not saying a word. Giving her the opportunity to get it all off her chest. I’m not sure what’s precipitated all this, but I’m here for it. Hopefully, it means something positive for me — for us.
“But watching Leila suffer through not just the loss of Merlin, but all of you as well, was heartbreaking. She grieved her loss just as hard as I did mine. Only difference is, I had closure. Mav was gone and there wasn’t even the most remote chance I’d bump into him somewhere.
“Fast forward to now, and I realize I allowed what you guys did to Lee five years ago to live rent free in my head. When you and I got together, it became a living, breathing entity in my mind; the fear constantly whispering awful things to me in the dark of night. But another couple of realizations hit with the force of a two by four yesterday.”
“Yeah? What’s that,” I ask.
“If they’ve learned nothing from what they did to Lee, then I’m not sure I’d want them in my life if things didn’t work out between us and they deserted me like they did her. It would hurt like hell, but I’d be okay.
“And the other realization?” I hold my breath waiting to hear what she’ll say next.
“That I’m ready to tell the world about us, Ace.” Sheri pauses. Swallows. “I love you. I never thought I’d be blessed to find love like I had with John again. And while this love I have for you is a little different — we don’t have the same history as he and I did — I love you no less that I did him.”