21. Ace

21

ACE

All I can do is stare at Sheri.

My heart is pounding so hard, and words fail me. Just when I finally accepted that this might not happen for us, she’s gone and floored me with her announcement. Before I can even think of something to say, she continues.

“Um, I know you’ve only just come home from the hospital, and you’re probably tired and in need of some rest. I’ve asked Merlin, Leila, and the other guys to come over a little later so that we can tell them what’s going on.”

I’m sure by this time my eyes must be bugging out of my head, because I’m struggling to keep up with where Sheri’s head is at with all of this. We’ve gone from reverse to a hundred miles an hour, and I’m trying desperately hard not to get whiplash.

Finally, I find my voice.

“I don’t understand. What happened between the day I was admitted to the hospital, when you ran from me, then proceeded to avoid me like I had the plague, to today? What’s with the sudden about turn on going public with our relationship?”

I watch in fascination as Sheri’s cheeks turn red. “Leila,” she says simply.

“Ah, so she tackled you too, did she?” She frowns.

“What do you mean?”

“A few days ago, Leila blindsided me. She wanted to know how long I’d been in love with you. I honestly thought I’d — we’d — been careful to mask how we feel. But Leila figured it out. I’m hoping it was her womanly Spidey-sense, and that it wasn’t obvious to the guys all along.”

“I doubt it. Bless them, as much as I love all of you, if it doesn’t relate to work or ‘manly’ things, you wouldn’t notice if it walked up and bit you on the ass.”

“You’re probably right.”

“Yeah, so she showed up at the house yesterday, madder than a wet cat. Tore a strip off me about not coming to her with how I was feeling about everything. When she was done doing that, she told me you were most likely being released today, and if you meant anything to me at all, best I see I was there to collect you from the hospital.

“She said a crap ton of other things, all of which led us to the here and now. She was right about so many things, and what she said helped me come to the realizations I shared with you. She helped me to see that if the guys were to turn their backs on me after seeing how it devastated her, then they’ve learned nothing from that clusterfuck, and I don’t want them in my life. As much as it would hurt to lose them, especially in light of our history, their friendship would be conditional, and I don’t want or need that kind of relationship. Either for me or the boys.”

“That’s Leila for you. Gotta love that girl.”

“You do, yeah.”

“Sweet cheeks, I have something to confess. Hear me out, and if you change your mind, I’ll understand.”

The blood drains from Sheri’s face, and I feel like all kinds of an ass for doing that to her. But I have to know if she’s only feeling like this in the moment because of what Leila’s said to her. Or is this how she genuinely feels?

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“Mortality brings things into crystal clear perspective. And the older you get, the more you realize your time could be up at any moment. Compounded by the fact that our jobs are dangerous and our life expectancy becomes even iffier.

“When I was lying in that hospital room, I came to the decision that I wanted a life with you, and the boys. A forever. I want the world to know we’re an us. In order to do that, people need to know about you and me. And I was fast coming to a point where the fork in the road we found ourselves at — I needed to make a choice.”

She hangs her head, her hands tightly clasped in her lap. “Am I too late? Have you changed your mind?” Her voice trembles.

“Well, I’d decided that if you weren’t one hundred percent in — if you still wanted to keep our relationship from everyone, then yeah, I was going to call things off. I didn’t want to live a lie anymore, hiding from our loved ones, pretending to be nothing more than friends.”

“And now?”

“Now, I want nothing more than sharing our news with our friends, family, anyone who’ll listen, that we’re a couple. And hopefully, in the not-too-distant future, that we’re a family. I love you, Sher. More than I will ever be able to express.”

Out of nowhere, exhaustion hits me, and I can’t suppress a yawn. “Come on, let’s get you settled so you can rest. The boys will be home soon since they’re on a half-day today. And the others will be here not too long after.”

“Will you lay with me?”

“I have a million things to do before everyone arrives.” Sheri pauses. “But there’s nothing I’d rather do.” Taking my hand, she leads me toward the guest bedroom.

Settled, I wrap an arm around her waist. She shifts a little closer, her back resting against my front. Closing my eyes, I offer up a prayer of thanks that I’m here, able to appreciate this moment. And just as I’m drifting off, I’m sure I hear her whisper she loves me, and I feel something in me settle.

Peace like I haven’t known for a while wraps me up, allowing me to sleep dreamlessly.

By the time I wake, Sheri’s gone, and for a split second I panic, forgetting all that transpired earlier. Then it hits me, causing me to pinch myself. Did we really have that conversation? Did she honestly say she’s ready to tell the world about us?

I stretch carefully, to work out the kinks, before getting out of bed to go find her.

“There’s the man of the hour,” I hear Leila say as I come into view of the living room.

I stop in my tracks and survey the full room. The entire team is there, along with Sheri’s two boys. Well, I guess that answers that. My memory did not fail me, and a grin tilts my lips up as I make a shallow bow from the waist.

“Ever at your service, m’lady,” I say in an awful British accent, wincing at the twinge of pain the movement causes me.

“Wow, and in such a good mood for a man who got shot not so long ago. Tell us your secret, dude,” Kansas says. My gaze darts around the room until it finds Sheri, and I widen my eyes at her.

She smiles, a soft, happy look on her face.

“Wouldn’t you love to know,” is all I reply.

“Boys, can you hop up so that Uncle Ace can sit, please?” Sheri says to Luke and James. Without so much as a grumble, they do as they’re told.

“Come sit here, Uncle Ace,” Luke says, patting the seat he and his brother just vacated beside their mother.

“Can we get you some water, Uncle Ace?” James asks, his words tumbling over his brother’s.

“That would be great, buddy, thanks.”

While the boys dash off to get me water, I settle on the sofa beside Sheri. For a second, I consider whether to hide anything from the people in the room, but decide to throw caution to the wind, considering Sheri’s already said she’s willing to declare how she feels out loud.

“Hey,” I murmur, leaning a little closer to her.

“Hi.”

“Full house.” I crack up at my own lame joke, and Sheri just shakes her head, an answering grin on her face.

“Yep, and they’re expecting an announcement,” she whispers.

“Well then, best you make one.”

“Me? Why do I need to make it?”

“Because I would have made it by now, but since someone I know dragged her feet, she gets to do it instead.” I know I’m being an ass, but I’m not ready nor willing to let her off the hook just yet.

Sheri huffs out a breath, gives me the stink-eye, and turns back to face the room.

“Hey, you two, what’s with all the whispering over there?” Leila asks, an unholy gleam in her eye. When she gets that look, you know nothing good can come of it.

“Yeah, you two. What gives?” Kansas echoes.

Heaving a huge sigh, Sheri looks at me imploringly, hoping I’ll save her.

“You lot are a nosy bunch, you know that?” Turning back to Sheri, I whisper, “Go ahead, sweet cheeks.”

As a concession to being an ass, I take her hand, squeezing reassuringly. She digs her nails into my palm, once again giving me The Look . The same look her boys are intimately familiar with.

“We need to speak to the boys first — I can’t just spring this on them.” She’s also whispering.

She gets to her feet and follows the boys into the kitchen, leaving me to extricate myself from the company.

“Just give me a second. I’ll be right back.”

Most everyone has a look of confusion on their face, except Leila. Her expression asks if everything is all right. I nod and go join Sheri and the boys in the kitchen.

“Boys, can Ace and I talk to you real quick?” It’s clear to hear in Sheri’s voice that this isn’t easy for her, but being the trooper she is, she faces shit head on.

“Everything okay, Mommy?” Luke asks while James scoots a little closer to his brother. Clearly the boys are picking up on her uneasiness.

“Yeah, baby. We just want to ask you something.”

“Okay, Mommy.”

Sheri takes a deep breath and as quietly as she can, she says what’s on her mind. “Daddy’s been gone a while now and um ...” She stumbles to a halt, clearly stumped as to what to say.

Squeezing her hand, I step forward and try. “What your mom’s trying to say is, she knows that no one could ever replace your dad, but sometimes grownups get lonely for another adult’s company. What we’d like to ask is, do you think it would be all right if I asked your mom on dates? It doesn’t mean she’d love you or your dad less. It would just mean that she has room in her heart to love me too. Do you think that would be okay?” It’s clear James isn’t one hundred percent following what I’m saying, but Luke definitely is. It’s crazy how much a difference of two years can make.

For the longest time the child simply stares from his mom to me and back. Just when things are getting seriously uncomfortable, he finally breaks his silence.

“Is it true, Mommy? Are you lonely without Daddy?” he asks.

God, his words — so mature for his tender years — just rip my heart to shreds.

“Yeah, baby, I am. But not in the way you think. I love you and James with my whole entire heart. And no one will ever change that. But I miss having someone like Daddy to talk to. You know?”

“Someone big?”

“Yeah. Someone big.”

“Like Daddy. And Uncle Ace.”

“Yes, baby.”

“I guess it’s okay, Mommy. I wouldn’t want you to be lonely.”

Tears well in Sheri’s eyes at the child’s weird mix of childlike and mature beyond his years. She goes to her knees and holds her arms out to both boys. When they step into her embrace, she hugs them tightly.

“I love you both so much. You know that, right? And if you’re ever worried about this, you can come talk to me about how you’re feeling. Okay?”

“Okay,” they both reply. I watch as James goes back to the counter and grabs a glass of water.

“Here you go, Uncle Ace. Here’s your water.” And with the resilience of kids, the two of them go running off.

Emotional but unable to process it all now, with a room full of people waiting for us, we return to the living room. All eyes on us, Sheri walks over to the sofa and drops down onto it as if her legs will no longer hold her. I can see her brace for what’s about to happen.

“So, um ...” Her words dry up, and for a horrifying moment I think she’s going to cry. But I should know my girl better by now. She clears her throat, and rallying, she starts again. “So, the reason I asked you guys over is that we have something to share with you.”

Sheri looks at me, then turns back to the room at large. “We — I — should have said something by now, but I’ve been too much of a coward to say anything.” Hot Sauce opens his mouth to say something, and Leila kicks his ankle. He snaps his mouth shut, glaring at her. “When Maverick died, I wanted to die too. Then, as time went by, and you all kept showing up for me and the boys, that feeling slowly faded.

She pauses for a long moment, as if she’s searching for the right words. “I honestly never thought I’d ever find anyone else to share my life with again. But one day I realized that I had. I just didn’t know how to tell him.”

“That’s amazing,” Hot Sauce bursts out before Leila can silence him again. “That you found someone again, that is.” The man blushes bright red as all eyes turn to him. “What? I’m happy for her.”

Sometimes the man can be a little slow, but bless him, he gets there eventually. “Ooooh,” he breathes as his gaze swings back to Sheri, and then me. “Ooooh,” he repeats.

Out of nowhere Joey from Friends pops into my head, and I can’t stop myself from cracking up. All eyes swing to me this time, and I wave a hand at Sheri, indicating for her to continue.

“When eventually I got up the courage to tell him how I feel, I asked him not to say anything to anyone because I didn’t know how our family and friends would react. Well, more specifically, our friends.”

“Why?” Merlin asks, a tiny bite in that one word.

His tone gets my back up, and before Sheri can respond, I do. “Because she saw what we did to one of our own. How we turned our back on her and cut her out of our lives when she needed us the most, out of a sense of loyalty. Misguided but genuine. And so she was terrified to say anything.”

Merlin looks at me, his jaw clenched for a second, and I think he’s going to lose his shit. But then it relaxes. “I can see that.” He sighs. “Yeah, I can see that.”

It’s like the air’s been sucked out of the room as everyone waits for Sheri to blurt it out, to say what they’ve now figured out for themselves out loud.

“I love Sheri, more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. And, for her sins, she loves me right back. We kept it quiet because she was afraid, if anything happened between us, that you guys would do the same to her that we did to Leila.”

“And I wouldn’t have survived that. Aside from our parents and our boys, there’s nobody else who means as much to me than all of you. It would have broken me if you cut us — me and the boys — out of your lives.”

“Ah, honey. I don’t know what to say,” Merlin says, his voice hoarse with emotion. “Other than we were younger and stupid. And I’d like to think we’ve grown up since then.”

Merlin gets to his feet, places a kiss on Leila’s cheek as he moves past her, and comes to a stop in front of Sheri. He reaches down and lifts her to her feet, wrapping her up in a tight hug. They stand like that for long minutes, as if silently communicating something through the embrace.

Finally loosening his hold on her, Merlin takes one step back, enough to be able to see her face. “I’m so sorry, sister of my heart. I would never want you to feel like that. To feel like you have to live a secret life for fear of losing our love and presence in your life. For what it’s worth, I’m thrilled that you’ve not just found someone, but that it’s Ace.

“I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he’ll love you with everything in him. No one will be more loyal or protective or supportive. The two of you are perfect for each other. Not that you ever needed my blessing or approval, just know it’s yours no matter what happens down the road. We’ll always be here for you.”

At his words, Sheri bursts into tears, and Leila hip bumps him out of the way. “Let me at my girl,” she says, not giving him a chance to refuse.

Leila hugs her close, murmuring words I can’t hear. When Sheri’s got herself under control, Leila steps back, giving the team a chance to hug our girl. Then, one by one, they do the same to me, congratulating me on a fine choice, wishing us everything of the best, and promising to always be there for both of us no matter what.

It feels like an eternity before everyone leaves. Thank God for Leila and Merlin. I see Leila bump Merlin and point over to where I’m sitting, trying desperately hard not to unhinge my jaw yawning. And bless him, he gets the hint.

“Guys, Ace looks wrecked, so I think it’s time we said our goodbyes,” he says, getting to his feet.

In a flurry, everyone’s gone in minutes and blessed silence descends upon the room. Busting out another jaw-cracking yawn, I shuffle back over to the sofa and drop down harder than Sheri did earlier.

“Well, they took that a whole lot better than I thought they were going to,” Sheri says, coming to sit beside me. I open my mouth to reply, and she says, “Don’t even think about telling me ‘I told you so’. I’ll have to hurt you.”

“I’m already hurt.” I bat my eyes at her, and she cracks up laughing before hurling a scatter pillow at me.

“You’re such an ass.”

“Yeah, but I’m your ass, for as long as you’ll have me.”

“Does forever work for you?”

“Yeah, I reckon I can pencil forever into my plans.” Sheri rolls her eyes as I give her a cheesy grin, complete with eyebrow waggle. “For now though, as much as I hate to admit it, I’m beat.”

“I can imagine. How about I make some popcorn, go grab the boys, and we watch a movie?”

“Now that sounds like a plan I can get down with,” I reply.

As the four of us settle down for the movie, I send up a prayer to Maverick, thanking him for my ready-made family and promising to take care of them with my all. Turning my head to look at Sheri, I catch her studying me.

She gives me a soft smile and, as full as my heart is in the moment, I mouth “I love you” to her. Everything in me settles when she replies that she loves me too. In this moment, this single moment in time, everything is right in my world.

Reality will intrude soon enough, but for now, in our own tiny bubble, life is perfect.

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