Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
The ride up in the elevator was short—which was a good thing because she’d practically climbed Marcus like a tree during it.
Her room wasn’t far from the elevator, and she had fumbled a bit with the key card before he took it from her hands and got the door open. After that, they stumbled inside while tearing at each other’s clothes.
Of course, this wasn’t exactly what she’d had in mind when planning a sexy night to forget about their kiss. Getting under Marcus certainly wasn’t going to help her get over him.
Just tonight, she promised herself. Then, they would have closure. Didn’t most couples have post-breakup sex? That was a thing, wasn’t it?
It is now…
Kicking her shoes off, she helped him with his tie. He unzipped her dress as she unzipped his pants.
“This is crazy,” she whispered between erotic caresses and addictive kisses. It had been a long time since she felt this wild with need. Sex with other men had always been enjoyable, but sex with Marcus had always been intensely satisfying on every level. After their breakup, she hated him for being so damn skilled at making her feel good. No man ever measured up.
But right now, she was practically giddy at the thought of what was to come.
“Not crazy,” he corrected as her dress pooled at her feet. “Necessary. Vital. I need you more than I need my next breath.”
And if that didn’t have her breathlessly panting, the way his hands were caressing every bit of exposed skin did.
I’ve missed this…
They made their way across the room—Marcus in a pair of dark briefs, and her in a pair of hot pink panties. Her bra had come off somewhere along the line and it was that sort of thing that she loved most about her intimate time with him. He sat on the bed first before tugging her down on top of him. The feel of his warm, muscled skin was the last straw.
“I don’t need to be seduced,” she told him. “And I don’t need you to dazzle me with foreplay. Not this time, anyway.”
His grin was downright wicked as he rolled her beneath him. “What do you need?”
“Everything,” she boldly replied. “I want everything you have to give.”
Moving erotically against her, he leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “I have so much to give you. I’ve been thinking about it all week.”
“Then don’t make either of us wait.” Licking her lips, Billie met his gaze. “Give me all you’ve got, Marcus.”
This time, his smile was full of promise as she locked her legs around his waist and held on for the ride of her life.
It was late and Billie felt a little dazed, dazzled, and deliciously satisfied. The man hadn’t lost his touch. If anything, he’d gotten better.
And she had to force herself not to think about how that happened or who helped him.
While everything they’d just shared had been exactly what she wanted—and needed—she was struggling with what she was supposed to do now. Was snuggling okay? Should she ask him to stay? Leave? Do it again?
I could definitely do it again, but maybe in a little while.
They were lying side by side—Marcus on his back, her on her stomach—and they weren’t touching. If anything, it was a bit awkward. The last thing she wanted to do was come across as needy or clingy, but lying there like this was making her uncomfortable.
Gently, she cleared her throat. “So, um…that was…that was good.”
Ugh…good? That’s the understatement of the year.
His hum of amusement spoke volumes. “Only good? I must be losing my touch.”
“I didn’t mean…I mean…it wasn’t an insult…”
“Billie?”
“Hmm?”
The next thing she knew, he was pulling her close, wrapping one arm around her while pulling the blankets up over them. It was the snuggling she wasn’t sure they were allowed to do.
And it was very nice.
“This wasn’t exactly how I envisioned the night going,” she admitted.
“I know. You were hoping to come up here with what’s-his-name.”
“Kevin,” she said around a yawn.
“Kirk,” he said, laughing. “How could you keep forgetting his name?”
“It was very loud in the reception hall. We got introduced, but all I could remember was that his name started with a K.” She shrugged. “Not that it matters. You made sure of it.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Are you sorry that you’re here with me instead of him?”
“No. Not at all.” Tangling her legs with his, she kissed his chest. “I wanted to be mad at you, but…” It would be easy to be flippant, but being naked with him like this also had her vulnerable side coming out. “You’re the reason I was flirting with him to begin with.”
Marcus shifted slightly. His hair was a mess from her running her hands through it, and he looked all rumpled and sexy. “Why?”
“Because of what happened the other night! You kissed me until I could barely stand and then you left! I was all turned on and…I don’t know…it’s shallow and doesn’t make me sound very good, but I just wanted a connection to someone. For the night.” Groaning, she hid her face out of shame. “I’m awful.”
Holding her tight, he placed a kiss on the top of her head. “You’re not awful. And for what it’s worth, it was all I thought about all week. But I didn’t want anybody else. Just you.”
“If given the chance, I would have said the same thing, but I didn’t know you were coming back to town.”
Tucking a finger under her chin, he slowly forced her to look at him. “I couldn’t stay away. Even if I hadn’t…remembered about what I did to my office back then, I would have found other reasons to come back.”
Tears stung her eyes because she wanted so desperately to feel like this meant something, but she was afraid to let herself believe it. Their time had passed, hadn’t it? This was just a one-time thing for them to finally move on.
Wasn’t it?
They lay there in companionable silence for what felt like forever. Billie knew what she was thinking, but she was beyond curious to know what was going on in Marcus’ mind. Years ago, that had never been an issue, but now, after all these years, she couldn’t be sure.
Only one way to find out…
“Are you planning to see your dad before heading back to D.C.?” Her hand was slowly caressing his chest as if it had a mind of its own.
“Probably not. I’ve got meetings scheduled throughout the entire week, and I need to be there in person.” Pausing, he studied her with an intensity that almost made her squirm. “You’re the only reason I’m here.”
So this was a one-time thing.
“I owed it to…well…both of us to come here and tell you that I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”
Swallowing hard, she nodded. “And…this?”
His expression softened as he reached up and cupped her cheek. “This was because I wanted you. I’ve always wanted you, Billie.”
Her heart soared! Maybe the last ten years were what they needed to get them to a point where they could be on the same page.
“But my life is still back in D.C. Coming back to Sweetbriar Ridge was…let’s just say it confirmed that I made the right decision when I moved away.”
And just like that, her heart sank.
But she wasn’t going to cry or try to convince him he was wrong or beg him to stay.
“I wish things could be different,” he went on. “But…I don’t know…maybe now that your family is all settled and matured, they can handle their own lives without you having to hold their hands. Plus, I’m sure by now you’ve got this baking thing out of your system, so you could come back to D.C. I’ve got a great place, and I know I could get you in with Hutchinsons, and…”
Shoving herself upright, Billie stared down at him in horror, hugging the sheet to her chest. “Excuse me?”
Beside her, Marcus slowly sat up. “What’s wrong?”
“Do you have any idea how offensive everything you just said is?”
All he did was blink.
“Marcus, I love my family. I am always going to love my family.”
“O-kay, and that means…?”
Huffing, she turned and faced him. “It means that I’m not just here because it’s a chore or I have to be. I’m here because I want to be! I got to be there to hold baby Calvin an hour after he was born! I got to help Ashlynn open her salon and watched her get married, and I can’t wait to be here when her baby is born! Chloe and Tanner just got married, and we’re all expecting a pregnancy announcement any minute!”
The bland look on his face just showed how unimpressed he was with her words.
“And I don’t have my baking thing out of my system!” she ranted. “That has been a passion of mine for my entire life! And you know that because I baked a lot of shit for you over the years!”
“Okay, fine…sue me, I misspoke…”
“Ugh, you just don’t get it! You’re never going to get it!” With another huff of frustration, Billie kicked the sheets and blanket off and stormed to the bathroom to get her robe, slipping it on before facing him again.
When she stepped out, he was already getting dressed.
“Basically, you’re still putting your family first,” he said, and for the first time, she heard his frustration. “I came all the way back here today…”
“Oh, please! It was a four-hour drive and I’m sure you used part of the time at the wedding to kiss Iris’s father’s ass, because that’s what you do! Your job, your career…it’s all you think about!”
“It’s what I do , Billie! I have a demanding career and of course I’m going to take opportunities when they present themselves! Iris’s father helped me in a big way; I was just trying to show him how much I appreciated him and how far I’ve come!”
“Yippee for you. A person who you basically have no connection with thinks you’re great. What about friends, Marcus? What about family?”
She almost added, “What about me?” but kept that to herself.
“What about them?”
And those three words said it all. They were compatible physically, but with everything else, they were far too different.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said quietly. “It just doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Look, I don’t know what you expect me to say. I was hoping we could get our lives back. I understand that you needed time to figure things out, but…I honestly thought we had…”
“We had sex, Marcus,” she said flatly. “And I think this time, we genuinely got our closure. This was the conversation we should have had at dinner that night. I don’t want the life that you have. I love the life that I have.” Shrugging, she hugged herself. “There’s nothing wrong with either of them, but…we’re never going to want the same things.”
Marcus finished getting dressed and it was breaking her heart to watch him, knowing it was the last time.
He slowly walked over to her—stalking her like his prey—before hauling her into his arms and kissing her. She felt weak and excited all clinging to his lapels before he pushed her away.
“You’re a fool, Billie.” His voice was gruff and oddly cold. “I could give you everything you could ever want, and you’re throwing it away again. And for what? What is it that this fucking town has to offer? What is the hold it has on you?”
“Marcus…”
But he was already walking to the door. Yanking it open, he turned and looked at her. “At least I have the decency to look you in the eye before walking away.”
If he had slapped her, it would have hurt less. “You’re no better than I was. You’re still walking away.”
“The only difference is that it’s not the day before our wedding.”
The door slammed shut before she sank to the carpet and cried.
Marcus felt like the entire drive back to D.C. on Sunday morning was on autopilot. He spent the entire time on a call with his assistant going over plans for the week.
On Monday, he threw himself into work like a man possessed. He made more money for his clients than he had in a long time.
By Thursday, he was on the brink of exhaustion—he wasn’t sleeping and had spent nearly twenty hours a day putting everything into the job.
When he walked into his office on Friday, everyone was giving him a wide berth.
Odd.
It wasn’t until he finished his morning call that a wave of exhaustion hit him. “Stella,” he called out. “Can you pick up lunch early?”
Stepping into his office, Stella, his assistant of five years, looked at him with concern. “Marcus, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but…you look like hell.”
She was probably the only person who could say that to him right now.
“I don’t mind ordering lunch early, but you really should consider going home. Your schedule is clear for the rest of the day and…”
The sound of his cell phone ringing interrupted her, and when he looked down and saw Max’s name, he groaned.
“This can’t be good,” he murmured. “Just get me my usual, please. I need to take this.”
With a curt nod, she walked out and closed the door behind her.
“Hey, Max. What’s up?” he wearily asked.
“Wow, you don’t sound so good. Everything okay?”
“Just…it’s been a rough week.”
“Oh. I’m afraid I’m going to add to it, then.”
Another groan. “What’s going on?”
“Dad fell while trying to clean the gutters.”
“Why the hell was he cleaning the gutters himself? Two weeks ago, he was practically too weak to leave the house and now he’s up on ladders? Why? We talked about hiring…”
“He didn’t want anyone else doing it,” Max explained. “He said it’s his house and he can still take care of it.”
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Marcus silently counted to ten. “I knew we should have had it all done while I was there. How badly is he hurt?”
“He’s in the ER right now—Mr. Jameson called 911. He was out mowing his lawn and saw it all happen. Anyway, they’re waiting for a room for him, and he’ll be there for at least a day or two. Right now, it looks like his hip is fractured and he’s got some cuts and bruises. And I’m sure he just undid months of physical therapy from the accident.”
Shaking his head, he said, “Well, I appreciate you letting me know. Are you on your way there?”
Max’s initial response was a nervous laugh. “Actually…that’s what I need to talk to you about.”
“Okay…”
“I know you’re going to take this the wrong way, but…it’s your turn, Marcus. I’ve been carrying the load and taking care of Dad on my own for years. I’m still planning on moving back to Sweetbriar Ridge, but not for a few months. I have things I’m committed to before then and it’s not fair that I’m the only one stepping up.”
This so wasn’t what he needed today.
Or ever.
“Max, I totally understand about commitments, and I would never ask you to give anything up for this.”
“Oh. Oh, okay! Great! So you’ll stay with Dad.”
“What? No! ” he quickly countered. “I just meant we can hire someone to stay with him. There are plenty of agencies that handle this sort of thing. I’ll make arrangements.”
“Dammit, Marcus! What is wrong with you?”
That question seemed to come up a lot lately.
“I thought you and Dad made some great headway on mending your relationship, and when the time comes for you to step up, your answer is to throw money and a complete stranger at it! Seriously, do you know how offensive that is?”
That one rang a bell too.
“Look, there’s a problem, and I found a solution,” he argued. “I don’t think me being there is the only right answer. He’s still going to need some sort of home health aide person to help him because I’m not the person who’s going to bathe him and help him go to the bathroom. That’s not who I am!”
“And I get that, but at least you’d be there! As much as you have these strong feelings about the way Dad handled things when Mom died, he sacrificed a lot for us when we were growing up and helped you get into college. He always supported everything you wanted to do, so it’s not asking too much for you to be there for him!”
Standing, Marcus walked over to the window and stared out at the city. The historic buildings, Franklin Park…you could feel the energy. This was the view he loved. This was where he felt at home. It wasn’t back in small-town Sweetbriar Ridge.
“Me being there is only going to hinder his recovery. We’re both too much on edge around each other. I’m telling you, a full-time nurse or aide is the better choice.”
“I disagree.”
“Of course you do.”
“Two weeks,” Max suggested. “Just…be there for two weeks. By that point, hopefully he’ll become more mobile and won’t need a full-time caregiver. Besides, if you’re there, you’ll make sure the house shit gets done because you’ll bulldoze right over any objections he has about hiring anyone.”
“What objections? He obviously can’t do the work himself right now.”
“Marcus…”
Sighing loudly, he snapped, “You know, I have commitments too! It’s not exactly like I can just stay away from the office.”
“Dude, you did it for a week and the sky didn’t fall. Most of your work is on the phone or can be handled via video call. This is a family emergency and people would understand.”
“I could say the same for you,” he retorted. “We both can work remotely.”
“And I already…” Muttering a curse, Max paused. “You want to know what I think?”
“Oh God…why?”
That just made his brother laugh. “I think you don’t want to come back because of Billie Donovan. I heard you two sat together at Iris and Jared’s wedding, and then people saw you chasing after her when she left.”
“I didn’t chase anyone. I wouldn’t. Least of all Billie.”
“Uh-huh. Sure. Plus, I also heard that the two of you had dinner the week before the wedding up at Summit Ridge.”
This was just one reason he hated small towns.
The gossip.
“It was time to clear the air and get some closure. That’s all.”
And what closure it was.
It was why he had been working himself nearly to death. Every time he crawled into bed to go to sleep, he saw her face. He dreamed of touching and kissing every inch of her body. It was slowly driving him insane. If he had to stay back in Sweetbriar Ridge to help take care of his father, he’d either have to never leave the house or…risk seeing her. In a town that small, it was bound to happen sooner rather than later, and he wasn’t sure he’d survive seeing the devastation or disgust on her face.
“If you have closure,” his brother went on, interrupting his thoughts, “then being in town shouldn’t be such a big deal. The worst part is over. You both said what you needed to say and…that’s it. People run into their exes all the time. There’s no need for you to avoid ever going home again.”
“It’s not just Billie and you know it. If Dad’s really injured and needs…you know…a lot of care, he should have someone who’s sympathetic and empathetic. We both know that’s not me either.”
“It could be if you just…” It was Max’s turn to sigh. “If you would just get out of your own damn way. I can’t imagine what it must be like to live in your head—the anger, the superiority, the martyrdom. Your way isn’t the only way. You act like you’re the only one who grieved, or the only person who’s ever been hurt. Newsflash, bro, we all have. We all don’t have to think alike or feel things the same way, but we have to give ourselves grace and allow ourselves to feel. When was the last time you let yourself do that?”
Saturday night.
And just thinking about that made his chest ache.
“What is it you want me to say?” Marcus asked, emotion threatening to clog his throat.
“I want you to say that you’re going to step up here—if not for Dad, then for me. If you don’t think you can be a good son, then be a good brother. I’m drowning in my own stuff and…and it would be a big freaking relief if I didn’t have to take on more. I never ask anything of you, mainly because you’ve blown me off for so damn long. Well, I deserve a little help. I’m always there when you need me. It would be nice if you would do the same for once.”
Well, that was a whole heaping load of guilt dumped on him.
And what was worse was how accurate it was.
Shit.
Marcus didn’t look at his calendar, he didn’t refer to any schedule or agenda. He simply relieved his brother. “I’ll head home first thing in the morning. I should get to Dad’s between ten and eleven. Text me Mr. Jameson’s number and the number for the hospital and I’ll take care of everything. I promise.”
His statement was met with silence.
“Um…Max?”
“I’m here,” his brother replied quietly. “I’m just…I swear, you have no idea the weight you just lifted off of me. Thank you.”
That made him feel like the crappiest human being alive.
“Send me those numbers and I’ll get right to it. And I’ll keep you in the loop. Go do what you need to do and we’ll talk later. Okay?”
“I will. And seriously, Marcus, thank you.”
Placing his phone down on his desk, Marcus slowly sat back down. When Stella walked in with his lunch a few minutes later, he thanked her.
“Is there anything else you need?”
Nodding, he told her about his father’s accident and his conversation with Max.
“So, what does this mean?”
“It means we need to make some calls and work on making sure we have a nurse coming home with him, finding out what supplies we may need so he can move around, and I have a list of contractors I spoke to when I was home a few weeks ago. I’d like to schedule some of that work.”
Nodding, she smiled. “Send me the numbers and I’ll start on the calls. Anything else?”
“Clear my schedule of any in-office meetings. I’m going home to Sweetbriar Ridge for at least two weeks. Any meetings will have to be virtual for the time being.”
Another nod. “I’m on it!”
It wasn’t until she was out the door that the enormity of the situation hit him.
“Holy shit. I’m going to be living back in Sweetbriar Ridge,” he murmured.
It felt a little like returning to the scene of a crime.
He just hoped he wasn’t going to cause any more damage.