Seek and Cherish: A small-town rockstar rom-com (Sanctuary Book 5)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Honey

I’m still bathed in the afterglow of the amazing experience Jaxon gave me, sleepy and sated, when he pulls off his shirt. His lean, muscled body, with just a few small tattoos on his ribs and pecs, is a work of art. As he lowers his long-fingered hands to his waistband and pushes down his jeans, my body begins to wake up and yearn again.

I sit up, allowing him to fill my vision, the scent of my arousal and his cologne surrounding me. With him, there is only pleasure and safety.

He slides down his boxer briefs. I think he toes out of his tennis shoes and kicks them to the side, but all I can see is that thick, hard cock.

Before he can make his next move, I’m on my knees, my lips pressed to the firm tip.

I lick him from balls to tip and he groans deep in his throat.

I lift my head and look at him, loving his desire drunken, half-lidded expression. “That’s right. Tell me how it feels. Talk to me.”

He smirks. “Keep it up and I’m going to blow before I’m inside you. Is that what you want?”

“Seems to me like we’ve got all afternoon. Unless you’ve got somewhere you need to be?”

Before he can answer, I open my mouth and take him in, sliding down until he hits the back of my throat. It’s not my favorite sensation, but I’ve been blessed with an excellent gag reflex and see no reason not to use it when I can.

His long slow, “fuuuuck” makes it worth the discomfort.

I slide up and down, gently petting his balls, ready to continue until he loses all control.

He grabs my arms and pulls me off his dick. “Nope. I’m going to be inside you. I’ve been dreaming about it for weeks.”

“Weeks?” I raise my eyebrows as he sits on the couch and settles me, straddled, on his lap. “We only met two weeks ago.” I tilt my head to the side in mock confusion.

“Two weeks is plural weeks.”

“Or…” I tap my chin thoughtfully. “You started dreaming of fucking me around the same time you started spying on and stalking me.”

He dips his head and licks my nipple, earning a hiss from me. “I wasn’t stalking or spying on you.” He lifts his head and looks me right in the eyes. “But I’ve definitely wanted you since the first time I saw you.”

On the inside, butterflies and happy warmth swarms my belly, but outwardly, I frown and narrow my eyes. “Sounds pretty stalkery to me.”

He’s unfazed. He licks his thumb and runs it gently over my clit - just enough to make me squirm. “You want me to stop? You probably don’t want to fuck a stalker.”

I couldn’t contain my giddy smile if I wanted to. “I wouldn’t fuck you if you were pure pop star. I’ve never liked candy cotton dicks. That stalker thing gives you just the right amount of bad boy edge.”

He grins. “Oh, I’ve got bad boy edge. Don’t you worry.”

Gripping my ass, he lifts me and urges me forward. I’m more than happy to oblige as I sink down onto him slowly.

And it feels so damn good. I can’t speak or see straight. “Oh. Oh, wow. You fill me so good.”

“You are perfect.” His eyes are on mine, his expression pained. “You are so tight around me. Even better than my favorite fantasy.”

I begin to move on him, rocking my hips as much for me as for him. “Did you fantasize about me often?”

“Every night.” His voice is deliciously rough and raspy.

“And what did you do to me in those fantasies?” I’m getting the barest friction on my clit, but his words and the images they evoke, of his fist around his cock, of me in his mind as he brings himself to orgasm, are building in me when I was certain just moments ago another orgasm was out of reach.

He grips my hips and lifts as he thrusts into me. The move steals my breath and my eyes flutter closed as the sheer pleasure of the moment, of his fingers digging into my flesh, overwhelms me.

“Look at me,” he says.

I do as he asks, and he thrusts into me again. It’s an effort to keep my eyes open, almost more than I can handle, but I manage it. “Tell me about the fantasies.”

He closes his eyes for one long moment and lowers me back onto him. “You need to take over if I’m going to talk.”

I roll my hips and grip the couch behind his head. “Happy to. Did you fantasize about the way I’d taste or the way I’d feel more often?”

He focuses on me, and the look on his face is as delicious as the feel of him between my legs. “Pretty even. Most of the time, I’d get both into the same fantasy.”

“Mmmm.” I’m finding it hard to speak as another orgasm builds. “Tell me more.”

“I fucked you in the shower. On the kitchen counter. On the front stoop, your hands against the door while I took you from behind.”

I rise and lower myself until he loses track of his words and moans. It turns me on even more to see what I can do to him. “Anywhere else?”

“In my bed. After we started going into the woods together, my fantasies moved there. Fucking you against a tree where anyone could walk by and see us.”

I shudder, even as I keep moving on him. “Ugh, move it back inside, quick.”

He chuckles. “I have one fantasy where I wake you up in the morning with my mouth on your pussy.”

“Mmmm. That sounds like fun.” It’s getting harder to breathe and I move faster, chasing my pleasure. “And where did you come?”

He groans. “Fuck, Honey. On your tits, on your ass, on your face, in your mouth, I—”

But I stop hearing him as another orgasm thunders through me, taking all my senses with it for a moment.

When I come back to reality, Jaxon’s looking up at me with something like awe. “So fucking sexy.”

Before I get my bearings, he flips me onto my back, the couch cushions soft under me, his body hard above. “You ready for me?”

“So ready.” I’ve never been more ready in my life.

He leans in and kisses me hard once before he begins to thrust in earnest. There’s no talking now, just pleasure as he fills me over and over again. Aftershocks from my two orgasms shudder through me until I’m not sure how much more I can take.

He groans and his whole body tenses and I know he’s close.

“Come on my boobs,” I say, because he’s got me thinking about seeing him on me that way and it’s something I’ve never done before.

His eyes light and he pulls out of me, wrapping his fist around himself, giving me a show as he strokes himself. It only takes a few seconds and then he’s coming on my chest in white, hot streaks.

He sags, staring at my chest. “Holy shit, that’s hot.”

I sink into the couch, more relaxed than I can remember being in maybe my whole life.

But Jaxon’s expression changes, his brow creasing with worry. “Wait. Shit. We didn’t use a condom. I never don’t use a condom. I’m so fucking sorry.”

I smile up at him, feeling lazy. “I’m on the pill and you’re the first guy I’ve been with in almost a year.”

He relaxes, but the crease doesn’t leave his brow. “I’m clean too. The stories about me cheating are lies. It’s been almost a year for me, too.”

I start to sit up, but stop when I remember the jizz on my boobs. “What about your ex? You two just broke up, like, six months ago.”

“Eight. And we’d stop having sex a few months before that. Things were rocky, and I thought we were trying to make it better when she was actually just falling for someone else.”

“I’m sorry.” And I am, even if I’m also happy, I’m not likely to be a rebound. As much as I might tell myself I can keep this casual, Jaxon means more to me than I want to admit.

I wasn’t completely honest when I told him I don’t trust him.

Not trusting him would be the smart thing to do, but I trust him to keep me safe in the woods, I trust him with my secrets, and I trust him with my body. And that was before I knew all his secrets.

He lied to me about his profession, but in every other way, he’s been honest and supportive and always on my side. He might just be the best person I’ve ever known and, even if this whatever we have is doomed to failure, I want him to remember me as more than a casual fling.

“I am too.” He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. “Not the most romantic conversation. Stay there and I’ll get you cleaned up.”

I watch his perfect ass as he walks away and get an equally amazing view when he returns with a wet washcloth.

“You might sell more albums if you take your clothes off on stage.”

He presses the warm cloth to my chest and gently wipes me clean. “I’m one of the top selling pop artists in the country. My last single was number one on the charts for two weeks.”

“Just saying. Your body is a work of art. More people should get to enjoy it.”

He bends down and kisses me. “You’re that eager to share me?”

Not even close, which is maybe why I said what I did. It’s dangerous how the idea of other women getting to see him naked feels like being stabbed in the gut. “You don’t belong to me.”

He smiles. “But I’d like to.”

He stands before I can say anything, and I take his words to be wistful. A wish we both know can’t be reality. It’s the reminder I need.

I sit up and reach for my clothes.

“You could stay. Let me wake you up with my tongue.”

As I snap my bra back on, I smile up at him, even though a part of me feels like crying at the thought of leaving. “My sisters are the priority. They’re all supposed to be home soon.”

It’s somehow worse that he accepts my words without argument. “See you here tomorrow for more treasure hunting?”

“I’ll be here.”

He doesn’t dress, but settles onto the couch fully nude, a temptation and a dare, as I dress and leave.

***

There are three of my sisters’ cars in the driveway in front of the house, which means there could be just the three sisters at home or there could be significant others as well.

My phone rings as I’m walking up the porch steps. Since it’s Lila, I walk back to my car and put my phone to my ear. “Hey.”

“Hey, Honey. I did it. I got accepted to law school. You have to come out and celebrate with me.”

I glance at the house. “I can’t tonight. But I’m so happy for you. Congratulations.”

“If you can’t come out now, come out later. What do you have going on tonight?”

“Game night with my sisters.” I cross my fingers behind my back. I’m hoping I can get together a sisterly game night, which is close enough to the truth, right?

Unfortunately, Lila knows me too well. “You have a game night planned, or you’re hoping you can corral your sisters into a game night? Are they even home?”

“They’ll be here. I want to celebrate with you, Lila, but I’ve only got a few more months with all my sisters in this house. I have to make the most of it.”

“You’ve only got a few more months before I move to New York City for law school. Come out with me. Your sisters all have men in Catalpa Creek. They aren’t going anywhere.”

But they won’t be living in my house and the chances of getting us all to hang out together will be even less than they are now. “Where are you going? If they aren’t available, I’ll come out and join you.”

She sighs heavily. “You better appreciate how empathetic I am, Honey, or I might be offended that I’m your second choice.”

“You are the best person I know, and you’re going to be an amazing lawyer. Thank you for understanding.”

She huffs. “Don’t waste the whole night hoping your sisters will just magically decide to show up. Tell them how much this means to you.”

I sigh and lean against my car, my chest aching. “They won’t listen. They never have before.”

“If they don’t listen, they aren’t worth it. I know you have wonderful memories of them from when you were a kid, but maybe it’s time to stop recreating the past and accept that sometimes blood family isn’t better than chosen family.”

My eyes sting, and I swallow hard. “I’ll text later.”

I hang up, stuff my phone in my back pocket, and tiptoe up the front porch stairs. As a kid, my favorite thing to do was eavesdrop on my sisters. They think I’m supernaturally gifted at reading them, but I’m actually just an amazing listener.

I’ve never felt bad about it, because listening made me feel like I was part of the family instead of the baby who always got in the way.

The front door creaks unless it’s opened super-humanly fast. I turn the knob slowly, rip it open, and hop inside without making a sound. I close it just as quickly, slowing to pull it fully shut as gently as I can.

I tiptoe across the living room, the sound of silverware clinking like someone is unloading the dishwasher, and lean against the wall between it and the kitchen.

“I’m just tired of waiting to live with you,” Clover says. “It’s not like my sisters would mind you moving in with us, and it doesn’t make sense for you to be paying rent when you’re over here all the time, anyway.”

I roll my eyes. Isn’t it enough that they see each other at work every day?

Wood scrapes against wood, probably Asher pulling out a chair at the kitchen table. “Are you sure your sisters won’t mind? You know I’d rather be with you, but I don’t want to interfere with what you’ve got going on here with your family.”

“It’s not like I see much of them,” Clover says. “Everyone’s so busy all the time. It feels like we’re all just waiting for the year to be up so we can start living again.”

I press a hand to my chest to quiet the ache there and close my eyes against the tears that want to fall. The downside to eavesdropping is hearing something painful.

I’ve heard enough, so I tiptoe to the back of the house and up to my room. As much as I want to spend time with Clover and whoever else might be here, I need a few minutes to get myself under control, so I don’t say something I regret.

I sink onto my comfy chair, pull my fuzzy pink blanket over me, and just breathe through my hurt feelings for a few moments. Clover was just talking to her boyfriend. They’re still in the honeymoon stage and obsessed with each other. Of course, she wants to spend more time with him.

It doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to spend time with me. Maybe she’s as upset about never having all the sisters together at the same time as I am.

Except, she didn’t sound upset. And the dark, sinking feeling in my gut seems like a promise of doom.

I grab my phone and hit my mother’s contact almost reflexively, because I do it so often.

“Honey, how are you? It’s been a couple of days.”

“I think it’s time, Mom. I have to accept that my plan has failed.”

“Oh, baby.” She’s slightly breathless. She’s either outside gardening or walking the campus of the community college where she works. “Have you tried talking to your sisters?”

It’s not the first time she’s suggested it, but the echo of Lila’s words feels like an attack. “I don’t want them hanging out with me out of pity, Mom. I want them to want to spend time with me, I want them to…” I can’t even say the words because they sound so stupid in my head. I want my sisters to think I’m cool, to realize I’ve grown up and to want to include me in their lives.

“You and Dani have that farm together. Haven’t you two gotten closer?”

“I guess, but I wanted all of us to be close and hang out like they did when they were teenagers and living in the house together.”

“Sweetie, I think you have a rose-colored memory of those days. They were all busy with their own lives then, too. I can’t remember a time they were all home together, just hanging out for more than family dinner.”

“You’re old and senile.” I want to lighten the mood, because she’s never going to understand. “My young, capable brain remembers a lot of those moments.”

She chuckles. “Deflection has never worked on me. I understand how much this means to you, Honeysuckle, and how hard you worked to get this year to happen at all, but you can’t force people to do anything. You have to meet them where they are now.”

“I should have convinced Dad to make the will require them to stay at the house twenty-four seven so they couldn’t go out and fall in love.”

“I hate to see you hurting like this, but I know you’re happy to see your sisters happy.” She’s using her stern Mom voice.

“I’m a selfish little con-artist, remember? I only care about making myself happy.”

“If I believed that, I’d never have gone along with this scheme of yours in the first place. I know you’ll find your way and do the right thing.”

“Why don’t you move in and help me? Tell me what to do. Demand my sisters stay home and play with me.”

She laughs. “I have an evening class to teach, baby. Call me later?”

“I’ll call tomorrow.”

We hang up, but I don’t feel any better. I’m running out of time, have no idea where the treasure is, and no alternative ideas to bring my family close again.

I snuggle down under my blanket, rubbing its soft fluffiness against my cheek until I’m calm again. Then I shove it off, steel myself, and head downstairs to find my sisters.

Only, there’s no one there. All three of the cars in the driveway are gone, and the house is silent. Judging by the calendar on the wall that tracks our whereabouts, no one has to work or has big plans tonight.

I grab my guitar, get comfy on a couch, and practice while I wait.

And wait. And wait. And wait.

By the time I’ve accepted my sisters aren’t coming home, it’s too late to meet up with Lila.

I don’t want to be alone.

What I want is to be wrapped up in Jaxon’s arms, to smell his comforting scent, to feel wanted.