Session 33

Chapter forty one

I took one last inhale of the breeze coming off the ocean as I stepped back inside the Airbnb Naomi had rented for my baby shower. The place was perfect—right on the beach, with huge windows that let in all the light. Naomi had really gone all out, inviting everyone from our old job, plus a few of my family members. I was getting gifts I didn’t even need. She planned everything, down to the pastel balloons and the cake shaped like a Louis diaper bag that was too beautiful to eat.

Solomon had come, leaving his woman behind. I told him to invite her, but he didn’t. I didn’t know how I felt about that. He went to a few Lamaze classes with me and was being extra touchy and flirty. I was making sure I didn’t read anything into it. He had been by my side all day, making sure I was comfortable, making sure I had everything I needed. I didn’t mind. It was nice to have someone so solid, so steady, when everything else in my life had been shaky. We danced a little, laughed a lot.

I had just sat down when Naomi came and plopped next to me. Solomon was sitting across from me. “Losing your mind got you glowing, girl,” Naomi teased as she picked grapes off a plate full of food.

I cut my eyes to Solomon. He didn’t know about the incident at Cassius’s house.

I laughed, rubbing my belly. “Blame it on this baby.” I widened my eyes in her direction and slightly shook my head.

Naomi laughed at me, throwing her hands up. “Okay. No more talk about that.”

Solomon had a brow raised. He was listening too hard for me.

Jonas came out of nowhere and whispered something in Naomi’s ear that caused her to frown. She put her plate down and excused herself. She came back about two minutes later and leaned in close, dropping her voice.

“Angel, I need to tell you something.”

I felt a chill. “What’s up?”

“Cassius is here,” she said, her eyes darting toward the door. “I think he saw the pictures on Instagram and decided to come. Silas is with him.”

Hearing his name immediately gave me an attitude, and all the joy I’d been feeling drained out of me in an instant. “What?” I couldn’t believe it. Now he wanted to show up?

Naomi placed a hand on my arm. “Do you want me to let them in, or...?”

“No,” I said firmly. “Don’t let them in.”

She didn’t hesitate. “Okay, fine,” Naomi agreed. “I’ll take care of it.”

She gave my arm a reassuring squeeze before heading to the door. I watched her go, my heart pounding.

“Could you go with her?” I asked Solomon, knowing he had heard everything by the way his face was scrunched up.

Minutes passed, me holding my breath, before I heard it—a commotion, raised voices, and then Cassius’s voice, loud and angry.

“Who the fuck are you, huh? Why is he always around, Jonas!” His voice was so loud the whole room went silent, everyone turning to see what was going on.

I moved to the side so I could see Jonas and Solomon blocking the door. My heart sank.

Jonas’s voice boomed, his usual calm gone. “Cassius, you need to leave, man. This isn’t the place for this.”

But Cassius wasn’t hearing it. “You’re going to let him be around her like that? You my friend?” he snapped at Jonas, ignoring the fact that he was causing a scene at my baby shower.

Solomon stayed silent, his expression unreadable. He didn’t engage with Cassius’s anger, but I could see the tension in his stance, ready to pop off if things got worse.

Finally, Jonas stepped out and closed the door behind him, shutting out the noise. All eyes were on me as Naomi walked back in, carrying a bouquet of roses in a crystal vase and a baby walker. I was so embarrassed. I wished in that moment I could do everything over.

Naomi walked straight to me, her eyes locking with mine. She had so much sympathy on her face for me.

I dropped my eyes as I took the things from her hands, then turned to head upstairs. My feet felt like they were dragging, and I knew it was because my heart was heavy. I walked out onto the balcony of one of the rooms that faced the front of the house. Cassius was standing outside, talking to Jonas. Our eyes locked. He looked worn out. The sadness in his eyes that had started to dissipate was visible again. I guess his new girlfriend wasn’t making him better. But I couldn’t feel anything for him—not anymore.

I lifted the walker and let it fall, hearing it crack as it hit the ground. Then I dropped the roses, letting them scatter, petals breaking apart.

I turned away, leaving him and everything he represented behind. I didn’t even watch for his reaction.

Two hours later, the party was winding down when I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. My breath caught, and I knew immediately what was happening. “Naomi!” I called out, trying to stay calm. “I think the baby’s coming.”

Everything after that was a blur. Jonas, Solomon, and Naomi were right there, helping me get to the car, rushing me to the hospital. The nurses got me settled in, and before long, the contractions were hitting hard.

Before I was due to go upstairs for surgery, a nurse pulled Naomi aside and quietly told her that Cassius and Silas had been escorted out of the hospital. They’d shown up drunk, making a scene. I couldn’t do nothing but shake my head. He couldn’t even act right on the day of his child’s birth. The drugs kicked in before I could think too much on it.

When I finally woke up after the C-section, I was groggy, still in pain, but the first thing I saw was Cassius. He was sitting next to me, holding our baby boy. He looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept, but he’d cleaned up, looking more like himself again.

“Angel,” he started, his voice soft, almost pleading. “I know I fucked up. But I’m here now. I want to be here for our son, for you.”

I looked at him, feeling the weight of everything that had happened between us. But I couldn’t find it in myself to forgive him—not completely. “We’re good, Cassius,” I said, my voice calm, but I felt like we were so distant. “Just put in equal effort with our child, and we’re good. That’s all I ask. There’s no more us.”

He nodded, his eyes full of regret. But I didn’t need his regret. I needed him to be a father, to do right by our son.