Seven of Hearts

20. Leah

20

LEAH

T he clock ticked by as I waited for Logan to call. It was nearly eight in the evening and I hadn’t heard from him yet. He had told me that he had to leave his phone in his car while he was visiting his dad, and to call Kristin if I needed anything.

Kristin had even checked in around three this afternoon just to make sure I was okay. I stared at my phone and debated if wondering where Logan was because I missed him constituted “emergency” status.

My stomach growled as I stared at the mess on the floor. I had a burst of energy this afternoon and had started to purge my things to make room for all the baby paraphernalia I needed to start acquiring, but it had quickly waned as soon as the floor was covered.

Things always got significantly messier before they got organized.

Something deliciously fragrant had been wafting over from Dr. Mehta’s apartment since early afternoon. I had been battling the craving, but it was about to get the best of me.

I spotted a cereal bowl drying in the dish drainer, and that was that.

The smell only got stronger as I slipped out of my apartment and padded down the hallway with the bowl resting on top of my belly.

I knocked softly and prayed he had leftovers. The door creaked open and Dr. Mehta chuckled when he saw the empty bowl.

“Have you had dinner, Leah?”

I shook my head. “Could I steal some leftovers? And maybe the recipe? It just smells so good and I think the baby agrees.”

His eyes crinkled at the corners. “Well, then. I can’t say no to that, can I?”

Dr. Mehta sent me waddling back to my unit with my bowl piled high, and a handwritten recipe for fish curry and lentils. The first bite as I walked by the fire extinguisher mounted on the wall was heaven. I did a little dance and hummed as I downed a second bite because I was the happiest little pregnant lady on earth.

And then that happiness crash-landed in a blazing inferno.

“Mom.”

Luckily, I didn’t lose the bowl in my jolt of shock. My mother stood at my door, still in her perfunctory office attire of a bleak gray pantsuit, uptight blouse, and sensible pumps.

“Well, don’t stand there gaping like a fish. It’s rude,” she clipped.

Instead of closing my mouth, apologizing, or crying, I clutched my bowl, stormed into my apartment, and slammed the door in her face.

I had just shoveled in a third bite when the knock sounded. I yanked the door open. “You’ve ruined not one, but two dinners by pissing me off before I could eat. If you attempt to go for a hat-trick, there’s no coming back from that. All I want to do right now is eat my damn dinner in peace, and you are the opposite of peace.”

Now she was the one who was slack-jawed. “Leah!” she gasped.

I slammed the door and didn’t feel the least bit bad about it. The pause gave me a chance to shovel in bites four and five before she knocked again.

I yanked it open and waited for her to get her foot out of her mouth.

“That was incredibly rude. I raised you better than to?—”

I slammed the door again, but she wedged her foot into the doorframe to stop it from closing again.

“Wait!”

“What,” I said as I shoved an aggressive bite into my mouth.

She huffed and brushed back her hair as the door slowly eased open. “I wanted to come by and see how you are.”

“Well, considering you haven’t cared at all since I told you I was pregnant and you haven’t talked to me in two weeks, it seems like a weird time to start.”

She pursed her lips, but didn’t take the bait. “I’m self-aware enough to admit that I did not handle your...situation well, and that I owe you an apology.”

She sounded exactly like my ex—clinical and far too objective. Loaded with knowledge and completely lacking in humanity. Just some of the many reasons that relationship ended.

“See, you have the words, but you don’t have the music. But if you’re in the apologizing mood, you owe Logan a big one.”

She craned her neck over the threshold and peered around. “Is he here?”

“No,” I clipped.

I wasn’t sure why she looked so surprised. “Did something happen?”

“What? No.” I sneered at the ridiculousness of it all. “He and his brother, Hunter, hung out this morning and then he had a...” I didn’t know how to explain what he was doing. “He had a family thing tonight.”

“A family thing?” she countered, as if I was speaking a different language. “That he didn’t take you to?”

“He went to visit his dad.”

Her eyes widened. “His dad . . . His father ?”

“Yes, those are synonyms,” I clipped as I shoveled in another bite.

She stuttered until, finally, the words came out. “In—in prison?”

“Well, if he was out of prison, it would mean he had escaped or was dead, and those two things usually make having a visitor a little difficult,” I deadpanned.

Those pursed lips were back, accompanied by clipped words. “Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism...I always knew he would be a bad influence on you.”

“You know, you have a funny way of apologizing,” I said as I dumped the empty bowl into the sink. At least I had made it through a meal without storming off because of her.

I never remembered my relationship with my mom being this combative. We were always cordial. Maybe a little stiff. But it didn’t get bad until Joanne and I broke up.

“Leah, his father and his mother are criminals! What part of that do you not understand!” she bellowed. Frustration was written all over her face. “I am your mother. I want good things for you. He is the child of not one, but two incarcerated parents. Studies show that it makes him six times more likely to become incarcerated himself. Even if he’s not caught, his history increases the likelihood that he will engage in less than legal activity himself. I believe the statistic is somewhere around thirty-five percent. Considering seventy-five percent of crimes are committed by males, it makes him a likely candidate.”

“Oh my god. Do you hear yourself? Did you memorize all of that just to recite it in my doorway like some kind of robot?” I shouted.

My heart was beating faster and faster. I was not going to cry, dammit. It didn’t matter that I was pregnant, and everything made me cry. She would take it as a sign of weakness and a poor argument.

“Your face is glued to those goddamn degrees on your office wall so much that you can’t turn around and see that people aren’t fucking statistics! Logan is a good man. He’s kind and gentle and caring and a hard worker and a million other things. Maybe you would know that if you had taken the chance I gave you to get to know him. Instead, you ruined it because you are so prejudiced against the Solomons that you can’t even pull your head out of your ass long enough to get to know the father of your grandson!”

Her temples pulled back, and she lifted her chin. It was the look of a warrior going in for the kill. “You mean the Boyds . Those kids can change their last names all they want, but it doesn’t change who they are. I always knew you were idealistic, but I didn’t think I raised a fool.”

“Okay, damn. That was harsh.” But the sassy voice didn’t come from my mother.

She whirled around to see who was behind her as I craned around to see for myself.

Kylie Solomon stood in the hallway looking comically disgusted. “You know, I think your mom might be more fucked up than mine. And that’s saying a lot.”

The gasp that my mother sucked in could have cleaned my living room rug.

“What’s up, Laura,” Kylie clipped as she elbowed her way past my mother and into my apartment.

“That’s Dr. Holloway to you,” my mom hissed with disdain spewing on the sound.

“And I’m the fucking Queen of England to you,” she said, twirling to face my mom. “Have the day you deserve, Laura.” And with that, she slammed the door and locked the deadbolt for good measure.

Great. I had escaped a showdown with a lion just to get locked in a cage with a tiger.

“What are you doing here?” I said as everything came rushing in at once. The room started to spin, and I grabbed the edge of the kitchen island for support. It was all too much.

“Logan got caught in a construction zone outside of New Bern and asked me to come check on you,” Kylie said as if she hadn’t been giving me the cold shoulder for two and a half months. “Why are you crying?”

My lip trembled. “Because I cry over everything now and because I’m really glad you’re here, but also because Dr. Mehta was nice enough to share his dinner and he usually gives me some naan and I forgot to ask if he made any tonight because he makes the best naan, and bread always makes me feel better when I’m sad,” I blubbered.

Like I had conjured it, there was a knock at the door.

Kylie cocked her head to pitch her voice in the direction of the door. “So help me, Laura. If you’re not back to apologize, I will shove my foot so far up your ass that you’ll?—”

“Hi, Kylie. It’s Dr. Mehta. I heard yelling and thought Leah might want some naan,” he called through the door.

Dr. Mehta was used to my shenanigans with Kylie, so an accidental ass-kicking threat was nothing new.

I yanked the door open, threw my arms around him, and cried into his shoulder, nearly knocking the plate out of his hand. Eventually, Kylie thanked him for the naan, peeled me off him, and deposited me on the couch.

She helped herself to a drink from my fridge and plopped down beside me. “So, your mom’s kind of a bitch.”

I grabbed a piece of naan and nibbled on the edge. “I don’t know what her deal is. She’s been unbearable since she found out about the baby.”

Kylie looked down at the can of seltzer that had been living in my fridge for six months. “Why didn’t you tell me things had gotten that bad with her?”

Was she serious?

She was the one who blocked me out.

“Because you refused to talk to me for the last two months because your brother and I hooked up and now I’m pregnant with his baby.”

Kylie sighed. “I’m not mad that it was Logan.”

“Really?” I snapped as I tore the naan in half, and then in half again. “Because you have a weird way of showing it.”

“I’m hurt that you didn’t tell me,” she countered. “Or maybe I feel guilty that you felt like you couldn’t tell me. But I’m not mad that you and Logan did whatever you did that led to this.” She pointed at my belly. “Two things can be true. But you’re having my niece or nephew. How the hell could I be mad about that?” Her voice softened. “Leah, this is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened. Don’t tell Bryan, but this pales in comparison to him proposing.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Part of me wondered if Logan was actually stuck in a construction zone, or if he had just been waiting to shove Kylie at my door from afar.

Kylie squeezed my hand. “Growing up, Logan was basically my twin. And you’ve always been my best friend. I think you guys are perfect for each other. But next time just tell me that you’re together.”

“We’re not together,” I said as I chewed on one of the torn pieces of naan.

She snorted. “Yeah. Sure. Okay.”

I just shook my head. “We’re just co-parenting and figuring out how we communicate and work together so that we can?—”

“If you say ‘co-parent’ one more time, I’m going to call you a dirty liar,” she said. “I know he’s been sleeping over here and I see the way he looks at you. No way are you guys just sleeping.”

“Sex isn’t a relationship,” I countered.

“You’re a hop, skip, and a jump away from the relationship. Don’t lie to me again. Do you want to be with my brother like that? Not just co-parenting?”

My lack of an answer was an answer in itself.

“What are you so worried about?” Kylie asked as she tucked her knees under her butt and grabbed a throw blanket for us to share.

“I don’t want to lose you if it doesn’t work out,” I said. “I...I like him. A lot.”

Her face softened. “Yeah, that was pretty evident from the way you defended him to Satan’s therapist. I’ve never heard anyone except my family defend him like that...”

I snickered. “She might put a curse on you if you call her a therapist instead of a psychologist.”

Kylie laughed. “Stop avoiding the conversation.”

“What happens when he and I argue?” I said between bites. “I don’t want you to have to take sides.”

“Obviously, I’m taking your side. I grew up with him. I have almost thirty years of proof that he’s a dumbass.” Her joking subsided. “But he’s a dumbass who loves fiercely and is protective to a fault. Look. You’ve dated some really great men and women. But none of them were your person. And maybe I’m just a little biased, but I couldn’t have dreamed of anyone better for you. And I hope you two make it. And I’m sorry that I made things hard on you.”

Kylie pulled me into a hug, and I felt the tension of the last few months begin to fade.

“I’m sorry I was a bitch,” she murmured.

“You were,” I said with a laugh. “So stop it. I hate fighting with you.”

Apparently, the baby liked when I laughed, because he chose that moment to do a somersault. I took Kylie’s hand and pressed it to the side of my bump.

“Can you feel him?”

Her eyes widened. “It’s a boy?”

I cocked my head. “Logan didn’t tell you? We found out two weeks ago. Kristin and Will know. I figured you had heard.”

Kylie shook her head and let out a little gasp when she felt the baby kick again. “No one would tell me. Not even Bryan. He said I was being a twat waffle.”

“I knew I liked him.”

“And while I’m apologizing for being a twat waffle, I’m sorry that I held all the times I helped you over your head. That was a dick move. And I’m more sorry that I left you to fend for yourself and fight off the hell beast you call ‘mom.’”

“If anything, you made Logan and me rely on each other a lot more. He’s been great. A little intense sometimes, but I know it’s just because he cares.”

Delight danced in her eyes. It was a shocking change from the frostiness earlier in the week. “I’ve never seen him love someone the way he loves you.”

My heart did a tumble at the same time the baby did, and it made me woozy. “We’re not—he doesn’t?—”

“Maybe he hasn’t said it yet, but trust me. I know Logan. He loves you. It just takes a lot for him to say it. He barely says I love you to Kristin or me. I think Zoey gets it the most since she’s the baby of the family, but it’s still rare for her. But he loves you. I can see it.”

The lock on the door turned and clicked as Logan let himself into my apartment.

Kylie lifted her eyebrows. “He has a key?”

I winced.

She just rolled her eyes and cracked a smile. “And you say it’s not serious.”

Logan was in a winter coat and tight-fitting jeans. He looked absolutely edible as he made a beeline for me, completely ignoring Kylie. “Hey, honeybee,” he said as he pecked my lips and slid his hand across my belly. “How are you feeling?”

Kylie just laughed. “You call her honeybee?”

“Shut up, Ky,” he clipped, never taking his eyes off of me.

“It’s cute. It’s cute,” Kylie said. “I’ve just never heard you be all sweet like that before.” She tossed her half of the blanket off of her legs. “Not that it matters in the least bit, but you two have my blessing. And I’m going to thoroughly enjoy being your baby’s favorite aunt.” She elbowed Logan out of the way like only a sister could and pulled me into a hug. “But I know I’m not the one you want to be with right now. And that’s the way it should be.”

Kylie stood and faced Logan before hugging him too. “Take care of my bestie. And I’ll make you regret it if you don’t. Capisce?”

Logan gave her a tight hug. “I promise. Are you gonna keep being a twat waffle to my girl? Because if you are, I’m going to make you take a long walk off a short pier.” He looked over her shoulder and winked at me.

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’ll see myself out,” Kylie said.

Logan didn’t wait for her to get out the door. He dropped down onto the couch and pulled me into his lap. “I’m sorry I was gone for so long.”

As good as it felt to have Kylie back, sitting curled up between Logan’s arms felt like the safest place to be.

Maybe we could make it. The idea that maybe he loved me gave me hope that we could. I just didn’t know if it was enough.