Seven of Hearts

19. Leah

19

LEAH

“ W hy am I going to this again?” I asked as I whirled around and propped my hands onto my hips.

Logan was stretched out on my bed with his ankles crossed and his hands laced behind his head.

That asshole wasn’t even paying attention to what I had just said.

“What?”

Point proven.

I rolled my eyes. “I’d put on a shirt, but that’s the problem. I have no idea what to wear. And even if I did, I have nothing to wear.”

“It’s just poker at Maddie and Luca’s. You go to their house every single day.”

“Yeah. To work,” I clipped as I turned back to the open closet and pawed through the hangers as if the selection had magically changed. “I’m usually in ratty clothes because I’m cleaning or running errands. I’m trying not to buy maternity clothes, and nothing fits.”

Logan eased out of the bed and came up behind me, sliding his hands down the creases between my hips and belly. “I’m wearing jeans and a long sleeve shirt. Does that help?”

“No. Because my jeans don’t fit. Which brings me back to, why am I going to this again?”

“Because it’s what my family does every Monday, and I want you to be a part of it,” he murmured as he peppered the back of my neck with kisses. “Hell, I think Kristin wore pajamas last week. Slippers and all. It’s a ‘come as you are’ affair. The Lawsons will probably be in suits. You know Maddie DeRossi—she’ll be in shorts and a tank top. It doesn’t matter what you wear, baby. They just want to see you. I don’t think I can hold Kristin off for much longer.”

“Easy for you to say,” I grumbled as I yanked down yet another pair of leggings and stole the hoodie that Logan had left over here two nights ago. “Your body hasn’t exploded.”

Warm hands bracketed my arms and gently turned me to face him. “What’s this really about?”

“Nothing,” I said as I brushed past him.

Logan and I had fallen into a routine. A slightly more romantic than intended routine, but a routine nonetheless. He stayed at my place most nights, and I generously shared my bed. In the morning, he made sure I ate something, then we went our separate ways, him going to Kristin’s house to work with Will and Bryan, and me going to the DeRossi and Lawson houses.

“Don’t lie to me, Leah,” he said, catching me around my waist.

I sighed. “Kylie’s going to be there.”

He paused and nodded. “And y’all still haven’t talked?”

Logan knew the answer, but I appreciated his hopefulness that things had changed.

“Have you talked to her?” I asked as I yanked his hoodie over my head and snuggled into the warmth.

“Only in passing,” he said as he reached out and pulled my hair out from the bunched-up neck. “But she’ll come around.” Instead of letting me struggle through putting on leggings so that we could get going, Logan cupped my chin and tilted his head for a kiss as one hand slid under the hem of the hoodie onto my belly. “Missed you two today.”

And I melted.

“I think I’m going to talk to Luca and Isaac and see if they’re cool if I work from their houses. That way I can be there if you need something,” Logan said.

He was such a good man. I knew his concern came from a place of tenderness. Maybe not love, and I was okay with that. Still, I had become accustomed to the way he would try to swoop in and manage a situation. Logan wasn’t trying to be controlling of me or take away my autonomy. It was just that he needed the peace of mind that everything was okay.

I planted my hands on his chest. “Beaufort is the size of a postage stamp. I’m rarely more than ten minutes away. We text all day long. It’s sweet that you worry, but being attached at the hip isn’t going to make you worry less. Besides, I’m never at just one house. I run errands all day long. That’s why the front seat of my car is a graveyard for straw wrappers.”

I felt a little of the tension leach away from his muscles as he sighed. “You’re right.”

“I love hearing you say that,” I said with a laugh.

Logan waited by the door while I wiggled into a pair of thick socks and shoved my swollen ankles into my duck boots.

“Don’t fret about poker night,” Logan said as he took my hand and led me down the stairs. “You know most everyone there anyway. And Zoey makes bank babysitting all the kids, so you’re off the clock.”

I was still in the second trimester, but I had started taking stairs more slowly. It seemed like my whole life was slowing down.

Part of me enjoyed it. The other part was a little scared by it.

“I don’t even know how to play poker. I kind of know the rules of blackjack, but I’ve only played it once. Kylie and I went to Las Vegas for her bachelorette and walked through the casinos, but we were too chicken to actually gamble.”

Logan chuckled. “Don’t worry. We never actually play poker on poker night. It’s just everyone hanging out.”

The drive over to Davis Bay wasn’t nearly as long as I wanted it to be. I didn’t really feel like socializing, but if it was important to Logan, it was important to me.

Logan kept his hand in mine as we parked in Kristin’s driveway to avoid the pile-up of cars next door.

“I feel like I just left work and now I’m back. And then I’ll be back in less than twelve hours,” I joked. “I actually might need you to check on me this week. Chances are, you’ll find me asleep on the couch.”

He chuckled, but it wasn’t a full-bellied laugh. It was a little sad. “I’ll make sure you’re awake through the week. But I’m—uh—I’m not gonna be around on Saturday until after supper. It’ll probably be late, so I might just stay at Kristin’s.”

That was strange. Logan was usually insistent about staying at my place, even if he was working late.

“Is everything okay?” I prodded. Honestly, I wanted to ask him what the hell his problem was and why he didn’t want to spend the night with me, but that was probably just the hormones talking.

“Yeah. Everything’s fine.”

I stopped dead in my tracks in the middle of the yard. “Remember that thing you insisted on? Being friends because you needed someone to talk to?”

He huffed, but it was good-natured and not at all cross.

I laid my hands on his chest. “This is usually the time that you invoke that privilege and tell me what’s going on.”

Logan looked down. “I’m going to see my dad. I do it once or twice a year. It’s about an eight-hour round trip. Four hours there and four back.”

Oh.

“Is anyone going with you? Will or Kristin or Hunter or?—”

“No,” he said. “I’m the only one that has contact with him. I keep it limited. I just...”

“Hey. You don’t have to explain it to me if you don’t want to.”

“I hate him,” Logan said.

The confession was shocking. I knew the details. I had heard Kylie’s take on it for years. But according to her, Logan had always stayed in contact with his parents for some inexplicable reason.

“But it keeps me in control,” he admitted.

In some strange way, it made sense. “It’s like . . . exposure therapy?”

He nodded and laced our fingers together, leading me around to the back patio that walked out from the basement. “Something like that. I don’t take his calls as often as I do my mom’s. I’ll put a little money on his books, but not enough for him to fuck around with it. I know it’s stupid to care, but?—”

“It’s never stupid to care.” I squeezed his hand. “But you can still come over tomorrow night, even if it’s late.”

The corner of his mouth twitched with a smile. “Thanks, baby.”

True to his word, no one was actually sitting at the poker table in the DeRossis’ basement.

I loved their basement lounge. I didn’t spend much time in it, but I would peek into it from time to time. It was like stepping back into a vintage speakeasy.

The room was packed with familiar faces. Still, the idea of socializing in my current predicament was overwhelming. I was fine talking about my pregnancy or the baby, but that wasn’t the elephant in the room.

It was Logan and me.

What were we? How did I explain it to everyone? Did I have to explain it?

Luckily, Kristin and Will were parked in seats closest to the French doors we slipped through.

“Oh my god!” Kristin rocketed out of her seat as the thunderous rumble of childrens’ feet echoed from upstairs. “I swear. You’re right next door all the time, and it’s still impossible to catch you to talk. I thought Logan was lying when he said you were coming to poker.”

I spotted Kylie across the room, talking to Hannah Jane. Our eyes met, and her expression tightened.

Kristin glanced over her shoulder to see what I was staring at. “Ky will come around. She’s just stubborn,” she said as she pulled me into a hug. “How are you feeling, honey? I tell Logan every freaking day to bring you over for dinner and I swear he just wants to keep you all to himself.”

“I’m okay,” I said. “Just taking it a day at a time.”

She nodded. “Do you have my number? Get it from Logan. Or I’ll get yours from him and shoot you a text. Anytime you need something, just call.”

I forced a smile. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

Kristin was brimming with excitement. “And it’s a boy?”

“Yeah.” I rested my hands on my belly and looked up at Logan. “We’re excited.”

She squealed. “You’re glowing. And I’m going to be an aunt! Be warned, everyone in here is planning on one hell of a baby shower for you two, so you might want to start making space for all the gifts you’re going to get.”

I pressed my hands to my cheeks. “Yeah, I’m hoping the nesting phase hits me hard. I need to do some serious purging to make room in my apartment.”

“Just say the word,” Logan teased.

I rolled my eyes and jerked my thumb at him as I looked at Kristin. “Mr. Minimalist hasn’t come around to throw pillows, blankets, and comfort yet.”

Kristin snickered. “You two are good for each other.”

Will gently nudged her out of the way and came in for a hug. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” I said as warmth bubbled up inside of me.

Knowing that the people Logan loved most were excited for us meant everything.

“You okay?” Logan asked quietly when he pulled me away so we could grab pizza slices out of the mountain of boxes on the bar.

I used my sleeve to dab my eyes. “Yeah.”

The look he shot me told me very clearly that he didn’t believe me.

“It’s just . . . a lot different than my family,” I admitted.

Logan looked around the crowd of Will and Kristin’s friends who gathered every Monday to eat pizza and use a game of poker as an excuse to hang out.

It was clear as day that these people—the DeRossis, Lawsons, Brannans, Pelhams, and McGraths—were family to him. Even the ruckus echoing from upstairs where all the kids were being supervised by his youngest sister, Zoey, was good-natured.

Part of me wondered if Logan and I would make it to the place in life where we had friends who were an integral part of our daily existence. Not just people we saw once in a while and called them friends when they were really just people we knew.

Was Kylie going to become one of those people? Just someone I avoided in the grocery store to get out of an awkward conversation?

Logan smoothed his hand up and down my back as I picked through the pizza topping options. “Where’s your head at, honeybee?”

I snapped out of the haze. “Just thinking about the kind of people our kid will get to grow up around. I guess it’s putting the cart before the horse just a bit.”

Logan looked around. “For your sake, I hope your family comes around. And I’ll do what I can to get them on board as long as they don’t cross any boundaries. But this is the kind of family I think our son should have. The kind who’s just there no matter what.”

Steve Pelham and Chase Brannan sauntered over. They were cops with the Beaufort Police Department, though rumor had it, Steve was retiring.

“Good to see you, kid,” Chase said as he pulled Logan into a hug before turning to me. “Leah. I heard the good news. How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” I said with a tentative smile. “It’s a new symptom every day, so that’s fun.”

Chase chuckled as he glanced over at his wife. “Yeah, I remember Bridget saying that.”

Steve gave Logan a good-natured slap on the arm. “Fatherhood looks good on you. I’m proud of you.”

I swear Logan nearly crumbled, but Steve and Chase didn’t notice. They were pulled into another conversation, but Logan didn’t flinch.

“Are you okay?” I whispered.

Logan nodded as he pulled a slice of pepperoni out of a box. “Yeah.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “It doesn’t look like it.”

He paused with the slice halfway onto his plate. “Steve and Chase were the ones who arrested my parents that night.” His eyes were glassy. “Steve helped me call Kristin because she was away at college. I was so freaked out that I couldn’t remember her phone number. He and his first wife helped us move in the aftermath after our house was seized by the feds. They would come by the trailer park to check on us every day and bring us whatever they could.”

My heart broke for him every time he shared pieces of his past. I smoothed my hand up and down his back.

“Before Will came into our lives, all I wanted was to make Steve proud.”

I had heard Kylie talk about “the poker club”—Kristin’s group of friends who had found each other and chose to be family. I had never understood the appeal until now. But I wanted it for Logan. I wanted it for our baby.

And I wanted it for me.

Kylie’s frosty gaze pricked at my back as she caught sight of Logan and me again.

“Want me to go over and talk to her with you?” Logan asked.

I shook my head. “She’s mad at me. Not at you.”

“We’re a team,” he said as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Where you go, I go.”

That might as well have been ‘I love you.’