23. Logan
23
LOGAN
“ I ’m gonna regret this,” Leah sing-songed with a smile on her face as she reached for a slice of pizza loaded with every meat topping possible. It was a carnivore’s delight.
Maddie DeRossi laughed. “Heartburn?”
Leah groaned. “It’s the worst. But pizza is worth it.”
After Thanksgiving, everything had seemingly fallen into place. The house inspections had come back all clear, and we were two weeks away from closing. Instead of shuffling things around in Leah’s apartment to try to make room for a crib, we were boxing everything up, little by little. Her lease wouldn’t be up until the first of the year, which meant we had a little flexibility when it came to moving. It was nice, considering I wasn’t letting her lift more than a cup of tea.
Leah had come around to how awesome Monday poker nights were. Honestly, it was nice to have someone there with me. Sure, I had known everyone in the poker club since I was a kid, but Leah was my person.
“What can I get you to drink, Logan?” Luca asked from behind the bar as he filled the role of a bartender, mixing drinks for everyone.
A beer didn’t sound half-bad. Then again, I had mostly stayed away from alcohol since Kylie’s wedding. That hangover from hell was enough to make me swear off of the stuff. Besides, Leah couldn’t drink and I didn’t want her to feel left out.
“I’ll have whatever she’s having,” I said.
The ladies in the room swooned with collective “awws.”
I just shook my head.
“Two mocktails coming right up,” Luca said.
Feet thundered overhead as the collective herd of children raced across the living room.
Leah shook her head. “I have no idea how they have so much energy. I did homework with Gio and Ellie after school and then they played outside until everyone started coming over for poker. I thought for sure they would be worn out.”
“Pretty sure most of that chaos is from my wombats,” Jason McGrath said as he slipped behind the bar and grabbed a beer. “When you put all the kids together, it creates a hive mind.”
“Which is why we feed them and then send them upstairs to torture your sister for two hours,” Luca said.
“Hey, I’m counting on her babysitting services soon. Don’t burn her out.”
Luca handed me two fancy looking umbrella drinks. “Enjoy, lovebirds.”
Leah managed the plates of pizza slices while I carried our drinks to a large semicircle couch. I set them down on the coffee table, then took the plates from her and set them down so I could help her sit. She waited, pretty as a picture, while I snagged a throw pillow for her back.
“Need anything?” I asked as I balanced her plate of pizza on top of her bump. It was her favorite tray table.
“No, I’m good,” she said as she grabbed the first slice and took a happy bite. “Thank you, though.”
“All right. Move,” Kylie said as she hip-checked me out of the way and plopped down beside Leah. “You had her all week. Share.”
“If memory serves, you were always the one who had trouble sharing,” I countered, side-eyeing Kylie as I leaned in and kissed Leah.
“Remember that time you fractured your arm when I tripped you because I was mad that you scratched up my Jesse McCartney CD?” Kylie draped her arms around Leah. “She is my human Jesse McCartney CD. Let me listen to her in peace and don’t you dare scratch her, or else.”
I chuckled. “Holler if you need something, honeybee.”
Kylie shoved me away.
I found a seat with a cluster of the guys, settling in beside Will, Bryan, Isaac Lawson, and Steve Pelham—my new neighbor.
“You guys ready to move?” Steve asked as he took a pull from his beer bottle.
I nodded. “Getting there. Hopefully, we’ll have most of her stuff packed up by the time we get the keys.”
Isaac Lawson loosened his tie and leaned back in his chair. “If you need help moving, just ask.”
“Honestly, I might take y’all up on that,” I said. “Leah’s apartment is on the third floor and the elevator’s always broken. I know she’ll start carrying boxes and moving furniture if she gets antsy.”
Steve chuckled. “Just tell us the day and time.” He swung a finger around the room. “Between all of us, we can probably get it in a single trip. It’ll be an hour tops.”
“I’ll let you know,” I said. “I appreciate it. I know Leah does too.”
“You’re family,” Steve said. “Erica’s excited that y’all are moving in. There’s a short path that goes through the tree line between our houses. It’s pretty overgrown. I’m gonna work on clearing it this weekend so Leah can come over without walking the long way down the drive. I know your house needs a little work. At least it did the last time I was over there. I’ve got tools in my garage. Help yourself to whatever you need.”
“I’ll have to wait for Leah’s go-ahead for that,” I said with a laugh. “I have a feeling she’s already got colors and finishes picked out for everything. I don’t want to have to re-do it.”
“Smart man,” Isaac said.
When I was a teenager living in a tiny single-wide trailer with my five siblings, I always resented the fact that Kristin made a point to slip out every Monday night for poker.
She never talked about it much, so I always assumed that poker night was exactly what it sounded like. A little gambling. Drinks. Shooting the shit.
And to some extent, that was it; though no one ever gambled anything more than single dollar bills and quarters.
I got it now.
She didn’t go to poker to get away from us younger kids. She went to poker because she needed to.
Because Steve and Chase would come over to the trailer and help with repairs. Because Erica would watch my younger siblings while Kristin was at work. Because Hannah Jane had given Kylie an internship when she wanted to get into event planning. Because Isaac was never more than a phone call away if I needed business advice, even though he was busy being a real estate mogul.
She needed this family as much as I did.
For so long I had been running from it, trying to validate my existence by proving I didn’t need anyone, not realizing that needing people was never the issue.
There were no bonus points awarded for shouldering life’s burdens alone.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was after hours on the east coast, but I had been expecting a call from my apartment’s leasing office in Chicago. It looked like they were squeezing in one last phone call before the day ended in central time.
I swiped across the screen as I pulled it out of my pocket. “Hello?” I said as I dropped my plate on the poker table, and stood to slip out.
“You are about to receive a collect call from Cheryl Boyd , an inmate housed at the North Carolina Correctional Institution for Women, calling for Logan Boyd . Before accepting this collect telephone call, please be advised that accepting a collect call will cost you more than it would if you prepaid for this collect call. If you want to accept this collect call, please press three. To prevent future calls from this facility, please press seven.”
I froze.
I had been dodging calls from my mom for weeks. I knew what she wanted, and I felt guilty for it. But I had new priorities.
Will looked at me curiously over his slice of pizza.
“Excuse me,” I muttered as I slipped out the double doors that led to the DeRossis’ strip of sand along the water.
I waited until the crowd was away from me before I pressed three. I dropped onto the sand and waited as the automated voice reminded me that the call would be monitored and recorded.
I heard the click as the call connected, and dread filled my gut.
“Logan?”
“Yeah. Uh, yeah. I’m here.” I was regretting even bringing my phone with me to poker night.
I should have just ignored the call.
Mom let out a sigh of relief. Or at least that’s what it was supposed to sound like. “I was starting to worry something awful had happened to you. You haven’t been accepting my calls.”
“I’ve just had a lot going on,” I said evasively.
Her fake concern turned to annoyance. “So much going on that you can’t talk to your own mother?”
“I don’t have a lot of time to talk,” I said, hoping she’d make it quick.
“Well, I’ve got a lot to tell you,” she said. “It might take more than a minute.”
She had no motivation to make it quick when every minute was charged to me.
Noise from the house grew louder, floating outside. “Look, Mom, I’ve gotta?—”
“I’m getting out,” she said.
Those were the only three words that could have surprised me more than Leah telling me she was pregnant.
“Early?” I managed to stutter.
“Yep. Good behavior and overcrowding. I don’t know the official date, but I was hoping you could fly down here. Lord knows your sister won’t come see me.”
She didn’t know I was in North Carolina now. She thought I was still in Chicago.
“But listen. I need a little something on my books. I know you don’t mind. Do you think you could make that happen? I might need some extra too so I can have it when I get out.”
Footsteps swished through the grass behind me.
“I can’t,” I said.
The stunned silence on the other end was deafening. “What do you mean you can’t? ” That fake concern from earlier morphed into barely disguised rage.
“I can’t. I have some big expenses to take care of right now.”
“But—but you can’t just cut me off like that!” she shouted. “What am I supposed to do when I get out? Have you been putting money on your father’s books? It’s not fair for you to give him money, and leave me to fend for myself.”
The immediate flip of the switch when she didn’t immediately get what she wanted told me everything I needed to know.
She didn’t care about what I had going on—not that I would tell her anyway. She never actually cared about having a relationship with me or staying in contact. She just needed a meal ticket.
“Maybe you should have thought about that before you fucked over your kids and left them to fend for themselves.”
I hung up as Kristin sat down beside me. “I know that look,” she said, digging her feet in the ice-cold December sand. “Which one?”
Kristin never talked about our parents. She instantly went no-contact when they were sent to prison and did her best to shield us four younger kids from the majority of the ugliness.
“Mom,” I said as I shoved my phone into my pocket. Truthfully, I wanted to throw it in the ocean, but I didn’t want the added expense of a new phone.
Kristin let out a displeased grunt. “And how is Cheryl?” she asked sarcastically.
“Getting out of prison for good behavior, apparently.”
She froze, then hunched forward and rested her arms on her knees. “Shit...”
“She wanted more money. Got pissed when I told her I had a lot going on and couldn’t swing it.”
“Does she know about Leah or the baby?”
I shook my head.
“Probably wise to keep them out of it,” Kristin said. “I don’t want to think about how Cheryl would try to leverage that.”
I had no doubt that she would try to weaponize Leah and our son.
“It’s hard to make the decision to put your kids first,” Kristin said. “Especially when you’re trying to protect them from people who were supposed to love them.”
“I don’t know how you did it for all those years,” I admitted. “Not just being broke as shit...”
“I cried a lot after you guys went to sleep,” she said. “I always wondered if I was doing the right thing or if I should have tried to make some kind of relationship with them work. You’re going to doubt yourself every day as a parent. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but it’s the truth.”
I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a half-hug. “Thanks for being the mom you didn’t have to be. The one who was actually good to us.”
Kristin squeezed me tight. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat. And since we’re having these heart-to-hearts, I’m just going to be nosey and hope I get away with it.”
I lifted my arm. “I take back my hug.”
Kristin laughed. “Let me be clear. I don’t think you should be giving Cheryl and Bill any money. I know you paid for the house through your trust.” She propped her chin in her hand. “What else do you have going on?”
I shrugged. “Bought a car. Moving expenses. Preparing for the hospital bills. Making sure I’m chipping in for Leah’s prenatal care.”
“And as honorable as that sounds, I think you’re bluffing.” Kristin pursed her lips to bite back a smile. “I’m really good at keeping secrets.”
I looked down at the sand because I couldn’t stop smiling. “I bought a ring.”