Chapter 9
Chapter
Nine
July 25 th
6:21 P.M.
Damn.
Second time in as many days he’d been shot at.
Cole dove off the porch as an engine revved and took off, tires squealing along the driveway back down toward the road.
The door to a detached garage stood open, and he realized that Vinny—or whoever had been staying there, although he believed it was Susanna’s former patient—must have snuck out the back door when they heard him and Susanna approaching and run for their vehicle. Not only had the shooter sprayed bullets all over the front of the house, but at his SUV as well. The windshield was shattered, and Cole could only hope the vehicle was still drivable.
There was no point in seeing if he could follow the shooter, there was no way to know if anyone else was out there, and he already knew he was looking for at least two, probably three or more people. At least one of those people had enough skills to get into his and Susanna’s secure building, break into both their apartments, and trash them.
“Cole!” Susanna’s panicked voice shrieked his name, and the next second he heard the front door slam open as she ran out onto the porch.
Crazy, brave woman. Hadn't he told her to stay inside? It seemed like she couldn’t stay put, no matter that she kept telling him she would.
Still, even as he groaned as he stood, his body protesting the gymnastics he’d just performed to evade being shot, he was grinning. It was nice to know that Susanna had at least forgiven him enough to be worried about and scared for him.
“Right here, sprinkles,” he assured her.
“Did you get shot?” she demanded, rushing down the porch steps and over to where he stood. Her eyes frantically surveyed him in search of blood she wouldn't find.
Apparently, that wasn't enough for her.
As soon as she reached him, her hands began to skim over his body, searching for injuries.
“I'm fine, sprinkles,” he reassured her again, although he made no move to stop her frenetic search. If she needed to convince herself that he wasn't injured, he would let her have at it.
Besides, it wasn't like he was going to protest the feel of her small, slender fingers skimming over his body. Each touch sent fire sparking along his nerve endings. How had he ever been able to hate this woman?
Now that he looked at her— really looked at her—he could see that she didn't have a nasty bone in her body. Despite growing up in a wealthy family, she didn't live in a pretentious mansion, she lived in a nice, modest, well-appointed apartment in a secure building, but something even he could afford, and while he made a good living working for Prey, he was hardly rich. Instead of looking for a wealthy husband, or working at her family’s company, or living off a trust fund, she worked a difficult and emotionally draining job. And she’d started a charity.
The woman was perfection.
“Y-you're not shot,” Susanna said, breathing fast when her hands finally stilled, although they remained resting on his pecs.
Their eyes met.
Electricity arced between them.
Cole would have sworn he could see it dancing in the air like a streak of sparkling light, similar to fireworks.
Susanna’s gaze dipped slightly until it settled on his lips. Then the pink tip of her tongue darted out to swipe along her plump bottom lip.
A groan escaped before he could stop it. What he wouldn't give to tug that lip between his, to press kisses to it, to trail kisses all over her body as he worshipped it, worshipped her, the way she deserved.
At the sound, Susanna’s gaze darted up to meet his. Her eyes widened at whatever she saw there, and Cole was positive it was raging desire. Matching desire danced in her eyes, and he realized that whatever else she was attracted to him, too.
Slowly, his head drifted down while hers tilted back. When his lips were mere millimeters from hers, he stopped.
He shouldn’t do this.
She’d been assaulted just days ago.
This was wildly inappropriate.
Yet something told him this was exactly what Susanna needed.
If he was wrong nothing would happen.
If he was right …
A warm puff of air wafted across his lips a second before Susanna’s feathered across them.
It was the briefest and yet most powerful kiss he’d ever experienced.
“When I heard the shots I …” Susanna’s voice faded off as she dragged in a deep, shuddering breath.
Since she’d initiated this touch and kissed him, Cole couldn’t stand there, watch her panicking, without doing something to soothe it. “I’m okay, sweetheart. Really. Not shot, not hurt, a-okay,” he said softly as he wrapped an arm around her and drew her close.
Surprisingly, Susanna came without complaint, resting her forehead against his chest as she trembled against him. As badly as he wished he could fix this problem with a snap of his fingers, the truth was he couldn’t. Until he and his family got all the answers they needed about their parents and made sure every person involved in his mom’s assault and death had been punished, none of them would be safe.
That now included Susanna because the people involved had decided she was one of them.
Overcome with a sudden need to make her one of them, Cole took a mental step back. Just because she was afraid for him didn't mean Susanna liked him.
“Sorry,” Susanna said, moving out of his embrace.
He felt the loss like a cold ache in his chest, but he couldn’t force Susanna to give more than she was ready for. At least they were making progress, taking baby steps forward. For now, that had to be enough. Later … he’d see where things went and where he wanted them to go.
“Hey.” He gripped her shoulders just tight enough to get her attention. “Don’t apologize. That was perfect. Just like you.”
Surprise rounded her pretty green eyes, and he wondered if hearing compliments wasn't something she was used to.
“Umm, thank you,” she said clearly uncomfortable, then quickly changed the topic. “Did you see him? Was it Vinny?”
“Didn't see who the driver was, he was already in the car,” Cole replied, heading toward their vehicle.
They both brushed shards of glass off their seats before climbing onto them, but when he put the key in the ignition and turned it, nothing happened.
Muttering a curse, he thumped the steering wheel. This was the last thing they needed. Vinny could come back. Someone else could be there. Susanna wasn't safe. He needed to get her back to the city and make sure she had around-the-clock protection.
“We need to call my brothers,” he said, reaching for his cell phone in his back pocket.
“Can't. No service,” Susanna said as he tugged his cell free and confirmed she was correct. “I was going to call 911 when I heard the shots,” she added.
They’d been clear when they'd spoken with her friends this morning that while they wouldn't interfere with the official investigation, they would be running one of their own. This wasn't something he was just going to back away from. Not when the stakes were so high. Not when Susanna’s life was hanging in the balance.
“We’re going to have to walk to the road, go along it until we get service,” he said.
At his words, Susanna sank deeper into her seat. Dark bruises of exhaustion marred the skin under her eyes and her skin was so pale that her bruises from the attack stood out in stark contrast. She’d had no time to recuperate since she was assaulted, no time to process what had happened, it had been one disaster after another.
“Or we could spend the night here,” he suggested.
“Spend the night here?” she echoed, looking over at him.
Cole shrugged. It wasn't a huge delay, they’d rest and recharge, then in the morning walk the road till they got a signal. “You're wiped out.” He held up a hand when her mouth opened to no doubt offer a protest. “Not an insult, sprinkles, just stating facts. We could spend the night here and sleep in the barn since the house is filthy. And who knows, maybe Vinny will think we’re gone and return.”
“You think he might come back here?”
No.
Not now, he knew this location was compromised.
But if believing it was enough to get Susanna to agree to spend the night and get the sleep her body so badly needed then he’d pretend otherwise.
“No guarantee, but there’s a chance.” Throwing on one of the charming smiles he was well known for, he shifted in his seat to look squarely at her. “So, what do you say, sprinkles, spend the night with me?”
Heat blossomed on her cheeks, and that spark of desire from earlier remained in her eyes. Even though he’d made it clear he was joking, he wasn't oblivious to the underlying meaning of what he’d asked. It would likely be a long time until Susanna was ready to have sex again, but she needed the comfort of not being alone, and that’s what he could give her.
If she’d let him.
A big if.
Because not only was their history not great, but it also didn't seem like trust was something Susanna gave out easily.
That pink tongue darted out again, swiping along her bottom lip. Then when her green eyes met his, there was determination there. “Okay.”
His heart soared at this teeny step toward trusting him she’d just offered, and not for the first time in the last few days Cole wondered not only how he was going to keep her alive and safe, but also how he was going to resist falling for the woman who had been his enemy and was now … so much more.
July 26 th
6:02 A.M.
Big mistake.
Big, big, big mistake.
Huge.
How could she have been so stupid?
What was she thinking?
Kissing Cole was a ridiculous enough move, but now there she was, draped all over him like he was her bed.
Susanna wanted to curl up in a ball and die of embarrassment.
For everything.
All of it.
Every stupid thing she’d done in the last twelve or so hours.
But she couldn’t.
Because if she moved so much as a muscle, Cole would know she was awake.
If he knew she was awake, there would be no way they could avoid a conversation about how she’d stretched out across him at some point during the night, making herself quite comfortable. Her head rested on the hard planes of his chest that shouldn’t be as comfortable as her feather pillows at home and yet somehow was. Her legs were hooked over his, and her center, which was uncharacteristically for her, hot and wet, was pressed dangerously close to the hard ridge of his erection she could feel nudging her thigh.
Why had her subconscious mind done this to her?
Didn't it know better?
Didn't it know after all these years that she couldn’t trust anyone? That letting herself get too close to the sexy soldier was a recipe for disaster?
It should know better.
She should know better.
Because her conscious mind had been every bit as stupid as her subconscious mind when she’d kissed him yesterday.
There wasn't even an excuse Susanna could come up with for why she’d done it. It was just like she’d been possessed. Like somebody had waved a magic wand over her and cast a spell. One she was powerless to break free from.
When she’d heard those gunshots, she’d been so afraid for Cole that she hadn't been able to keep her promise to him and stay inside. Then she’d been unable to stop herself from running her hands all over his body in a desperate search for injuries.
Touching him like that …
It had done things to her own body that she thought were impossible.
And not just impossible because she’d been sexually assaulted just a few days ago.
That alone should make it impossible for her to react to a man’s body, and truthfully, even the thought of anyone else touching her made her feel ill. But not Cole.
See, no other way to explain it.
Magic wand and spell.
That had to be it.
What other reason could there be for her sudden hot and bothered desire for the man lying still beneath her?
As if she needed the stress of her body’s sudden craving for a man she wasn't even sure she liked on top of everything else going on. Why couldn’t it do what it always did and reject any hint of attraction a man might send her way? Why did it have to betray her now?
There were too many thoughts rushing through her head that Susanna couldn’t get a handle on any one thing. She needed time and space. Needed to be able to sit down and make a list of all her emotions and then figure out a plan to sort them out.
Not something she could do while she was stuck with Cole for the foreseeable future.
A sigh heaved through her before she could stop it, and she froze.
No way Cole had missed that. He was way too attentive to everything happening around him.
The hand resting on her hip shifted, brushing up the length of her spine. “You awake, sprinkles?” he asked, his voice rumbling through the chest she was still plastered all over.
Sex in the back seat of her high school boyfriend’s car, and in an empty classroom with her college on again off again boyfriend didn't equip her for this moment. There hadn't even been any sex—wasn't ever going to be any sex between her and Cole—and she felt like she was going to die of embarrassment.
How was she supposed to handle this?
Comment on the kiss? Say it could never happen again, and she’d been caught up in the moment because she’d been afraid he’d been killed? Mention his erection? Pretend like she didn't notice it?
One thing she was sure of was that the more time she spent around Cole, the more she realized how pathetic she actually was.
Almost thirty and she’d had no serious relationships. While she called the men she’d slept with in high school and college boyfriends, they weren't really, not in the true sense of the word. She was so afraid of trusting and getting broken down all over again that she protected her heart with a wall so high it was unclimbable, so thick there was no way to demolish it.
It was pretty sad when you thought about it.
But at least she was keeping herself safe, and there was a lot to be said for that.
“Umm, yeah, I guess so,” she said awkwardly, lifting her head to meet his smoldering gaze.
If one look could actually ignite you, she’d be on fire right now. She felt like she was. Her skin was overly sensitive, aware of every millimeter that touched Cole’s skin. Inside was this throbbing that she was completely unfamiliar with, and a neediness she didn't understand. She’d been raped. Touching a man should make her panic. Instead, she wanted to meld herself into Cole, allow his strength and confidence to become her own, and allow his warmth to soothe the cold knot of icy fear that lived inside her.
“You slept well. I'm glad,” he said, giving her an easy smile as he sat up, taking her with him.
“I was pretty worn out,” she agreed as she debated if she was supposed to pull away from Cole, who still had an arm hooked around her waist and whose lap she was partially sitting in or stay right where she was.
What was the right thing to do?
How was she supposed to act?
How was she supposed to know how Cole wanted her to act?
Okay, he didn't hate her anymore, but that didn't mean he wanted her either. She was so confused.
Cole’s head dipped and she felt the sigh that rumbled through him because she was still so close to him. When he lifted his head, his eyes were closed, but they opened slowly and what she saw in them made her skin prickle.
And not in a good way.
“I’m so sorry, Susanna,” he said, voice pained, and sorrow in his eyes. “I hate that you got dragged into this mess because of me and my family. I wish I could undo it all. Set you free. But I swear to you that I will protect you, keep you safe.”
There was anguish in his voice, and she got it.
Didn't like it—which annoyed the hell out of her as much as it baffled her—but she got it.
Guilt.
That’s why he was suddenly being so nice to her. Guilt about being so completely and utterly wrong about who she was as a person, and guilt that she had been hurt because he and his siblings needed answers.
Knowing that while she was feeling all these things that were so foreign to her, all Cole could feel for her was guilt, which she interpreted as pity, made her feel ill, and all of a sudden she couldn’t stand the feel of his body touching hers. It made her feel like thousands of ants were marching all across her skin, and she shuddered as she pulled back, wriggling out of his embrace and standing, putting some much-needed distance between them.
“It’s not your fault, Cole. You couldn’t have foreseen that someone would think you and I were dating because the idea was— is —so preposterous. I'm going to use the bathroom then we can start walking.”
Without letting him have a chance to say more, inadvertently shattering another piece of her already damaged heart, Susanna turned and hurried out of the barn and toward the house.
Tears stung her eyes, threatening to come bursting out of her, but she wasn't going to allow that to happen. Crying wasn't going to change this mess she found herself stuck in and she’d already allowed herself the outlet of tears several times since her world fell apart five days ago.
Five days?
Was that really all it was?
Felt more like a lifetime.
All she’d wanted out of life was to have the freedom to make her own choices, to be out from under her father’s evil thumb, and to make a difference. Keeping herself safe, physically and emotionally was important, and she’d done that. Built a friendship group while still maintaining enough distance for her to feel safe, like she was protecting her heart. Her charity work and her job kept her busy, and she rarely thought much anymore about the past and her childhood.
She’d been happy.
Maybe not in a traditional way, but in a way that worked for her.
She’d known where her life was going. What to expect and what not to expect.
Then one moment changed everything.
Leaving her questioning everything. Leaving her confused, and exposed, and raw.
Nothing made sense and she had no idea how to fix it, how to put her life back in the delicate balance she’d been maintaining for the last decade.
Worse, what if she could never get it back?
Where did that leave her?