Chapter 10
Chapter
Ten
July 26 th
9:11 A.M.
It was clear he’d said something wrong, Cole just had no idea what it was.
Susanna had withdrawn into herself, and he was starting to get the feeling nothing he said or did could draw her back out.
They were both outside, out the front of the farmhouse. Susanna was sitting on the sagging porch steps. She was hunched over, arms wrapped around her legs and chin resting on her knees. Although when he looked over, it seemed like she had her eyes closed, at the same time he could feel her watching him, so she must be trying to pretend she didn't care what he was doing.
He was working on fixing his truck. This morning, he’d taken a look at his vehicle, there was no point in walking, possibly for hours, if he could get it working enough to drive them back to the city, or at least until he could get a cell phone signal.
There had been no sight of Vitoli last night so there was no point in hanging around any longer. Once he’d called his brothers and let them know what had happened, they’d contact Susanna’s cop friends as well.
Then, once they were back home, he was putting in a call to Eagle Oswald, founder and CEO of Prey, to ask if their on-staff psychologist could set up a meeting with Susanna. Just because she was a trained psychologist did not mean she was equipped with the skills to help herself right now. She needed to talk to someone she could trust, and there was no one better for that than Piper Hamilton-Eden.
Married to a member of Prey’s Alpha Team, Piper had lived through her own personal hell twice, once as a child and again as an adult. She worked tirelessly at Prey, counseling team members and sometimes some of the people they rescued. Piper was empathetic and compassionate and always made you feel like you were talking to a friend and not a shrink. Which made a huge difference when you were dealing with alpha men who were beyond resistant to talking about their feelings.
Deciding he’d done all he could to get the vehicle working, Cole pushed the hood back down, and rounded the SUV, climbing into the driver’s seat. That first turn of the key in the ignition did nothing other than make the car give them a sick sort of whine, but he tried again, and all of a sudden, it spluttered to life.
Success.
“You got it working,” Susanna said, pushing to her feet and hurrying over.
“Sure did.” He grinned at her, willing the smile to thaw her out a little. He wished he knew more about Susanna, what kind of person she was, what made her tick, what upset her, and what made her smile. If he’d spent even a tiny portion of the last three years getting to know her, he wouldn't feel so lost right now.
“Thank goodness, I was not looking forward to walking for hours,” she said with a weary sigh as she jumped up into her seat.
“Ready to get out of here?” he asked as he pulled his door closed, and watched Susanna buckle herself in.
“More than ready. Although …”
“Although what?” he pushed as he started down the driveway. Cole had no idea how long he was going to be able to keep the vehicle running, it was badly damaged, and he wanted to get somewhere with a signal before it died.
More than that, though, he wanted to earn Susanna’s trust.
It shouldn’t be that important to him, he was the one who had chosen to make her an enemy rather than a friend, but he desperately wanted to undo the damage he’d caused.
There was no way to get out of his head the soft feel of her lips whispering across his, and right or wrong he wanted more.
A lot more.
“It’s nothing,” Susanna whispered.
“It’s not nothing. You are not nothing, sprinkles,” he said, a little more heat to his voice than he’d intended, only he was getting the feeling that even though she’d always met him verbal jab for verbal jab, she wasn't quite as confident as he’d always believed her to be.
Wide-eyed, she stared at him, and he also got the feeling no one had ever said that to her before.
What the hell kind of life had she lived that made her feel unworthy?
She was gorgeous, her long chestnut locks were as soft as silk, and shiny and lush, her green eyes were such a pretty color. She worked counseling addicts, she had started up a charity to help victims of crime, she was helping him now even though she had no reason to. There was absolutely nothing about Susanna Zangari not to like and he couldn’t understand how he hadn't seen it before.
He'd been blind.
Willingly blind.
And now he was afraid it was too late to undo it and fix the mess he’d made.
If nothing else, he’d like to call Susanna a friend, but he didn't know how to convince her of that. Just when he’d thought he was making progress, all of a sudden, she pulled back.
“I … I'm never going to be safe until Vinny is caught … or dead. I want him dead but …”
“But what?”
“But you need answers. So, I know it’s better if we catch him alive.” Wearily, she rubbed at her head, and he knew she likely still had a headache from the head injury and the emotional stress of the last few days.
“Keeping you safe is more important,” Cole assured her without hesitation. And it was true. Just like no one in his family was angry that Willow had killed Tarek Mahmoud before he could be interrogated because her safety had taken priority, the same was true now.
They all wanted answers, but they weren't monsters. They’d waited eighteen years already, they could wait a little longer if it meant eliminating a threat to Susanna’s life.
“Cole, you can't?—”
“I can,” he interrupted.
“You didn't even let me finish my sentence.” She huffed, making him grin. “Why are you smiling like that?”
“Because I miss this. The fire between us. I hate the things I said to you, wish I could take them back, but I enjoyed sparring with you, sprinkles.”
Susanna rolled her eyes at him, but he saw her soften a little. “I’m going to have to come up with a nickname for you,” she muttered.
Leaning over, intending to tell her the silly nickname he’d had as a kid, instead, Cole caught sight of a vehicle rushing up behind them.
It was a different one than he’d seen whoever shot at him yesterday drive off in, but it was similar to the one from the shooting at Vinny’s house two days ago.
While he’d love to pretend it was nothing, just another person out on this quiet country road, the speed at which it was barreling down upon them told a different story.
“Cole?” Susanna asked, sensing his change in energy.
“Hold on,” he managed to order before he clutched the wheel, fighting against his vehicle as it was slammed from behind by the other one. There was no way he could keep the car on the road and reach for his weapon to return fire. It was an either-or situation, and right now, he had no choice but to keep driving.
Pulling back just enough to put a tiny amount of distance between them, the other vehicle then slammed into them again.
This time he couldn’t keep control of his SUV.
It was already damaged, he was lucky he’d gotten it to move at all—or unlucky as the case may be—there was no way it could withstand the assault.
Veering off into the trees, they picked up pace as they headed down a steep decline.
Cole was pretty sure he knew what was waiting for them at the bottom of the hill.
A sheer cliff that dropped off and ended in a river below.
He knew this area well enough because he and his family had gone camping a lot when he was a kid, all over these mountains.
The car was a write-off, moving only because of gravity. The brakes were shot, and he couldn’t steer, there was only one way to stop this from happening, to save themselves from certain death.
“Susanna, you have to jump out,” he told her, already unbuckling his seatbelt.
“What?” she squeaked.
“Jump,” he ordered.
“I can't. We’ll die.”
“We’ll die if we don’t, there’s a cliff at the bottom of this hill,” he countered.
“I can't.” She was breathing hard, her knuckles white as she clutched her hands together, panic evident in her expression.
“You have to. It’s going to be okay, sprinkles. You can do this. I believe in you.”
Her gaze sought his and she gave a shaky nod.
Reaching over, he unbuckled her. Then, bad idea or not, he framed her face and pulled her in for one quick kiss before he reached for the door handle.
“We’ll jump on three. Try to tuck your body in and let it roll. As soon as I can, I’ll come find you, but don’t make a noise in case they come checking. You got this, sprinkles,” he assured her.
It was now or never.
Time to jump and pray.
“One, two, three.”
July 26 th
9:40 A.M.
Falling.
The sickening sensation filled Susanna’s stomach the second she garnered enough courage to open her door and throw herself out of it.
It felt crazy.
Throwing yourself out of a hurtling car was suicide.
Yet Cole had been convinced that staying in the car was suicide.
And …
She’d trusted him.
Even as terrified as she’d been, even though she’d jumped seconds after he’d said three and jumped, she’d still done it.
Trusted what he’d said.
Trusted his solution.
What was happening to her?
Was she crazy?
She didn't trust people.
Trusting people got you hurt.
As if on cue, her body slammed into the ground, and pain spiraled through her.
There was no time to process it, to try to figure out if she’d sustained any serious injuries because she was still moving.
Moving way too fast.
Her body tumbled out of control as it continued its flight down the side of the hill toward the cliff she knew was waiting for her at the end.
There was no way to stop it.
Doing her best to do as Cole had instructed, Susanna attempted to pull her limbs in tight, to curl her body into as small a ball as possible so she didn't kill herself on the way down.
What was she supposed to do?
Should she try to reach out and grab hold of something to stop her uncontrolled descent?
She was afraid of breaking her arms if she tried.
But if she didn't slow herself down, nothing was going to stop the inevitable.
A split second after she decided to try to slow herself down before it was too late to do anything about it, it happened.
For one terrifying second, Susanna was left hanging, suspended in mid-air.
Nothing below but empty air and then, below that, the ground.
It was a fall she couldn’t survive.
In that one second, her entire life flashed before her eyes. Every drop of pain her father had relished dishing out to her. Her mother’s complete apathy. The harsh voice of her teacher telling her she was lying and her dad would never have laid a hand on her. The cold eyes of the cop who had called her an ungrateful troublemaker. Years of pain and loneliness. Building a new life. The nasty neighbor who had suddenly morphed into so much more.
So many wasted years.
So much pain.
So much loneliness.
Now her life was going to end and it hurt to know that she’d lived twenty-nine years and yet never mattered to anyone. Not in that soul-deep way she knew could exist. Could even have existed for her if she hadn't trapped herself inside a protective little bubble. Keeping the potential hurt out but never allowing the potential joy in.
A waste.
That was the last thought that flitted through her mind before she hit the ground with a bone-jarring thud, and the world dissolved into a pit of darkness.
Something was chirping inside her head.
It ached.
Not just her head, all of her.
She hurt.
She was so tired of hurting.
It seemed like it had been the story of her life.
The chirping continued and Susanna couldn’t quite figure out what it was or where it was coming from.
What she did know was that it was annoying.
If she could be annoyed, then … did that mean she wasn't dead?
Had she survived the fall?
How was that even possible?
Susanna knew she hadn't stopped tumbling down the decline until she fell over the cliff's edge. While she didn't know how deep the drop was, she knew it was enough to kill her or Cole wouldn't have told her she had no choice but to jump out of the moving car.
Cole.
That one word was enough to have icy-cold panic slicing through her. Like it always did. Only this was different. Usually, when she saw him in the lobby, lift, or hall outside their apartments, she got this sinking feeling in her stomach. She knew he was going to be cruel, and she was so tired of cruel. If she thought it would change anything, she would have told him he was wrong about her. That he didn't know her at all. That nothing he said about her was true.
But she hadn't believed it would change anything.
So, she kept her mouth shut.
This fear was different though. It was so much more than dread, it was unbridled terror that he might have gone over the edge of the cliff as well. That he might be dead.
If he was, it would be her fault.
She’d panicked when he told her to jump. That panicking had cost them precious seconds that could have been the difference between life and death.
Had it been?
By some miracle she had survived, but she didn't know if Cole had, too.
Slowly, Susanna blinked open her eyes. They felt heavy, like someone had attached blocks of concrete to them, and if she wanted to see where she was, she had to find the strength to drag those blocks up.
It was too much.
The temptation to just sink back down, let the darkness pull her under, and float away in a cloud of nothingness was strong.
But she couldn’t do that.
Cole.
Maybe he had survived, maybe he was counting on her. Like she always did, Susanna had to find the strength to just keep moving forward. It didn't seem like a lot to most people, but to her, right in that moment, it was the hardest thing ever.
Keep moving forward.
Somehow, she managed to find that strength, even if she had to dig deep to get to it and pried her eyes open.
She found herself lying awkwardly on her side. Something sticky ran down the side of her face that had been pressed against the ground, and she didn't need a mirror to know that it was blood.
It was the same side of her head she’d hit the night she was attacked outside her apartment building, and she was sure she’d popped the stitches.
Oh well.
It was the least of her problems right now.
A couple of trees were beside her, and she could see a bird sitting on a branch almost close enough for her to reach out and touch it. That must have been the chirping she’d heard when she woke up.
Eyeing her up as she shifted into a sitting position, it gave another loud chirp and then flew off.
Susanna watched it go and realized she wasn't on the ground.
She was on ground, but it wasn't the ground.
Somehow, she must have landed on a ledge. She had no idea how far she’d fallen, if she could climb up or down, and there was a big part of her that didn't want to know. Heights were not her thing, but it wasn't like she could just sit there forever.
Her phone had been in her bag which was in the car … wherever that had wound up. There was no way for her to call for help. There was a good chance that sooner or later, Cole’s brothers would come looking for him. They knew where the farm was they’d been checking out, and there was possibly evidence of the crash that had sent their car off the road.
Maybe they’d find her.
Maybe.
But maybe not.
What if they didn't?
What if no one ever came?
What if she just had to sit there until she died of dehydration?
Nobody would ever find her body. Would anyone even look? Cole’s family would look for him, but she didn't have a family who cared about her. Her friends would look but it wasn't the same. They’d grieve her, but she wouldn't leave a huge hole in their lives like Cole would in his family.
If she got out of this mess …
Then she had to do something about that.
If she continued to live her life the way she was then her dad won. He had wanted to isolate her, destroy her, and she was letting him. Even though she was no longer living in his house under his control, she was still letting him control her.
After all these years, she hadn't really broken free at all.
That had to change.
But it could only change if she lived.
Slowly, with badly shaking hands, Susanna pushed herself off the ground. Her legs were weak, and her knees threatened to buckle beneath her, but somehow she managed to lock them in place and remain upright.
Stumbling, Susanna threw out her arms and caught herself on the closest tree, and as she did so she looked down.
Below her, maybe around fifty feet or so, was the river and she could see the remains of the car they’d been in.
Gasping, she tilted her head back to look above her.
Maybe fifteen, twenty feet at the most, above her was the top of the cliff they’d gone over.
Too far for her to climb.
Both ways.
She couldn’t go up and she couldn’t go down.
She was stuck.