Chapter Nineteen
Brigid
I slip through the shadows at the forest ’ s edge, my heart thundering. Lochan stands like a statue among the trees, his broad shoulders taut. As I approach, moonlight catches his dark eyes, unreadable and intense.
“ You ’ re late,” he barks.
“ By two minutes,” I snap back, bristling at his tone.
Lochan ’ s jaw clenches. “ Every second counts. Now, show me your defensive stance.”
Alright then. Getting right to it. Fine by me. I don ’ t think Lochan even knows what small talk is.
I shift my feet, raising my hands. Lochan circles me, gaze raking over my form. I can feel the warmth of his skin in the cold night air.
“ Wider,” he commands, kicking my feet apart. His rough hands grip my hips, adjusting my posture. Heat blooms where he touches me.
“ Like this?” I ’ m acutely aware of his body behind me as I breathe.
“ Better,” Lochan murmurs, his breath on my neck. “ Now, block my strike.”
He moves lightning-fast. I barely deflect his blow, stumbling backwards.
“ Again,” Lochan barks. “ Focus, Brigid.”
We go through drills, our bodies in constant motion. Sweat covers my skin as I struggle to keep up with Lochan ’ s relentless pace. His movements flow with the practiced skill of the fighter he is, and I ’ m overwhelmed by how good he is at all of this. I ’ ve seen his strength and ability to fight a couple of times now, and it ’ s still impressive. He ’ s a born and bred warrior.
I ’ m torn between concentrating on his instructions and drinking in every detail of him—the curve of his biceps, the set of his jaw, even the dang glower in his eyes.
“ Dammit, pay attention!” Lochan snaps as I miss a block. His fingers dig into my arms, pulling me close. “ What ’ s distracting you?”
I glare up at him, pulse racing from exertion and his touch. “ Nothing.”
Fucking stupid mate bond. Nobody asked for you.
I try to focus, but the shadow magic pulses beneath my skin, feeling my emotions.
“ Your stance is still off,” Lochan growls, pacing around me like a panther. His hand runs along my lower back, eliciting a shiver. “ Shoulders back. Hips straight.”
I adjust my stance.
“ Good.”
I ’ m embarrassed by the tightening in my belly caused by that tiny word of praise.
We move through more drills, and I struggle to keep pace. Each near-miss, each glancing touch, sets my nerves on fire.
“ You ’ re holding back,” Lochan accuses, pinning me against a tree. His muscled chest presses against mine, and I can feel the heat of him through our clothes.
I meet his intense gaze, my heart pounding. “ Wouldn ’ t want to hurt you.”
He snorts. “ Again,” Lochan commands, stepping back into a fighting stance.
I push off the tree, letting the shadows flow through me. This time, when we clash, I match him blow for blow.
Our bodies collide, a snarl of limbs and ragged breaths. I duck under Lochan ’ s swing, countering with a strike to his ribs. He grunts, catching my wrist. In one fluid motion, he twists, pinning me against his chest.
“ Better,” he growls, his lips brushing my ear. “ But not enough.”
I struggle against his iron grip. “ Let go,” I hiss.
“ Make me, Brigid.” Lochan challenges, tightening his grip to the point of pain.
The shadows surge within me, responding to my frustration. Before I can stop it, lines of darkness lash out, wrapping around Lochan ’ s arms. He releases me with a curse.
I pull the shadows back to me, waiting for Lochan to shout at me, to end the session.To be disgusted that I lost control.
But he stays.
Without a word, Lochan takes position again, and motions for me to come towards him with his hand. I hesitate, but he nods.
I match his strength, my movements more precise. The shadows vibrate within me, lending me speed and power.
We grapple, neither willing to yield. His fingers sink into my hips as I twist, slamming him against the tree. Our faces are inches apart, chests heaving.
“ Is this what you wanted?” I taunt, pressing closer.
Lochan ’ s gaze darkens. “ You have no idea what I want.”
In one swift motion, he flips our positions, pinning me painfully to the rough bark. His body cages mine, hard muscle pressing against my softness.
Lochan ’ s eyes look hungry as he stares down at me and I forget to breathe. For a moment, we ’ re frozen—predator and prey in a standoff, wondering who will move first.
Then his lips crash against mine.
The kiss is hard, relenting, punishing. I gasp, and Lochan ’ s tongue sweeps into my mouth, his taste like bourbon and spice. My hands reach up to touch him, but he pushes them back down to my sides.
Lochan moves his hands up to roam my body, leaving trails of heat in their wake. He grips my thighs, hoisting me up. I wrap my legs around his waist, grinding against the hard bulge in his pants.
“ Fuck.” He breaks the kiss, trailing his lips down my neck. When he reaches the sensitive spot where my neck meets my shoulder, he bites down. Hard.
I cry out, surprised, and ignited.I bite him back.
Harder.
Lochan growls, a primitive sound that sends chills down the back of my neck. His hand slides up to cup my breast, thumb brushing over my nipple as he tugs at the fabric of my top. He tears it over my head, revealing my black lace bra.
“ Take it off,” he orders.
I reach behind me, fumbling with the clasp on my bra. It snaps open, and I toss it aside. My breasts bounce free, heavy and aching for his touch. Lochan groans, taking one of my nipples into his mouth. He flicks his tongue over it, then sucks hard, rolling the sensitive point between his teeth, biting lightly. His other hand slides down and under my waistband, to cup my pussy over my panties, before his fingers find their way inside.
I inhale sharply as he presses against my soaking wet center. Lochan ’ s mouth moves to my other nipple, sucking and biting until I ’ m wriggling beneath him. My hand slips into his pants, finding the hard length of his cock. It feels huge in my hand, and long. I hear his intake of breath when I make the first stroke.
“ You want this?” he asks, his voice rough.
Do I?
I don ’ t know. My body does. The mate bond does. But do I want this?
I nod, unable to speak. I might not know if I really want it, or if it ’ s just the bond we share, but I need this.
I need him.
Lochan pulls my sweatpants off, then my underwear, leaving me bare and exposed. I watch his eyes as they take in my nakedness, then he lifts me up, pressing me against the tree as he positions himself at my entrance.
Pain sears my skin, and I tighten as the head of his cock breaches me. I gasp, my body tensing at the invasion. Lochan pauses.
“ Relax,” he murmurs. His thumb circles my clit, sending sparks of pleasure through me, replacing the pain.
I force myself to breathe, to let my muscles unclench. Lochan pushes in slowly, stretching me open. The burn fades to a delicious fullness as he bottoms out inside me.
“ Fuck,” I whimper, digging my nails into his shoulders.
Lochan groans, his forehead pressed to mine.
He starts to move, setting a punishing rhythm. Each thrust drives the air from my lungs, slamming me back against the rough bark. Pain and pleasure blur together as Lochan pounds into me relentlessly.
My legs shake, and I grip him tighter. I ’ m panting, and my nails leave traces of blood on his skin. I feel the mate bond as it expands and contracts between us, a throbbing reminder of our undeniable connection.
Lochan ’ s pace quickens, his hips snapping against mine in a frenzy of lust and need. The muscles in his arms bulge as he holds me up, his jaw clenched tight.
With just a few thrusts, I feel my climax building deep within me.
The pressure builds, circling higher and higher, until I ’ m trembling on the edge. Lochan ’ s fingers find my clit again, pinching and rolling.
It pushes me over the cliff. I cry out as bliss crashes through me, my body clamping around him. Lochan groans, his rhythm faltering. With a final, brutal thrust, he buries himself to the hilt. I feel the hot splash of his release inside me as he comes with a guttural moan.
We stay like that- sweaty, panting, still joined, his cock slowly softening inside me. I don ’ t move and neither does he. We stare at each other, Lochan ’ s eyes locked on mine. Then they widen.
Reality comes crashing back as the high fades.
Lochan pulls out abruptly, leaving me feeling hollow and sore. He sets me down, not meeting my eyes as he tucks himself back into his pants.
“ This was a mistake,” he says, and his voice is as cold as a winter flash freeze.
His words are a slap across my face; a bucket of ice water poured over my body, erasing all the heat and pleasure from just a moment ago.
Without thinking, I raise my hand and slap him back, for real. “ Fuck. You.”
“ Get dressed.” He picks up my clothes and tosses them to me, then turns to leave, not waiting for me.
I watch as he walks away, leaving me standing alone in the forest. His rejection feels like a punch to my stomach, and I can feel anger and humiliation churning up inside me. How could he do this to me? How could he make me feel like that, only to reject me?
It wasn ’ t just sex. It was more than that—to me and to him. The fucker couldn ’ t hide it. I saw it in his eyes. Damn him .
I can feel the tears coming, but I don ’ t bother to wipe them away. I just stand there, watching as Lochan disappears into the darkness. I get dressed, still feeling him inside me, his parting gift trickling out of me, making me sticky between my thighs.
I don ’ t know how long I stand there. But eventually, I force myself to move, making my way back to my bedroom.