Chapter Twenty
Brigid
The flagstones are loud beneath my shoed feet as I walk the academy grounds, and a chill wind carries the scent of snow and smoke, a reminder of the season. It ’ s not like back in Newton, where it was so frigid on winter days when the wind blew that your face froze in a few minutes of outdoor exposure.
Winter here is almost too perfect. When it snows, it only stays for a short time, long enough to make everything pretty and sparkling. It gets cold, but it ’ s the kind of cold that makes you want to wear a warm sweater, not the bone-chilling temperatures of January in the north.
I came outside to get some fresh air, and to clear my thoughts, but the lingering soreness between my legs is an unwanted reminder of my encounter with Lochan—and his rejection. I just want to be left alone and not be bothered, but of course, that ’ s too much to ask.
“ Oh look, it ’ s the shadow whore.”
Laria ’ s voice is like fingernails on a chalkboard. I stiffen, turning to face her. She slinks towards me, all slithering grace and cold, predatory glances. Her pale eyes gleam with cruel amusement. If I didn ’ t already know she was a vampire, I ’ d assume she was a snake shifter.
“ What do you want, Laria?” I say, sighing.
“ You know, I almost feel sorry for you,” she continues, her voice dripping with false sympathy. “ It must be so embarrassing, throwing yourself at Callen only to have him toss you aside like yesterday ’ s garbage. Lochan can ’ t even be in the same room as you. Face it, Brigid. You ’ re nothing but trash to them.”
My cheeks burn.
Laria leans in close. “ Did you really think they ’ d want damaged goods like you? You ’ re nothing but a whore witch playing at being special.”
I try to step away, but she blocks my path.
“ It ’ s pathetic, really. You think you ’ re special because you ’ ve got a bit of shadow magic? Please. The most remarkable thing about you is how quickly people get sick of being around you.”
“ Shut up,” I growl, but Laria just laughs, a high, tinkling sound that grates on my nerves.
“ Oh, did I hit a nerve?”
“ At least I ’ m not so desperate for attention that I have to resort to mean girl bullying to feel important,” I snap. “ Tell me, Laria, does it make you feel better about yourself to tear others down? Or are you just so insecure that you can ’ t stand the thought of someone else being special?”
Shadows curl at my wrists.
Laria ’ s eyes widen, an almost imperceptible flicker of wariness crossing her face before she masks it with disdain. But I ’ ve seen it now, and it emboldens me. I take a step forward, my own predatory instincts rising to the surface.
“ You call me damaged goods, but at least I ’ m not rotting from the inside out like you,” I continue, my words laced with venom. “ Your soul is so ugly, Laria, that not even your pretty face can hide it. No wonder you ’ re so obsessed with me. You ’ re terrified that everyone will see what a pathetic, empty shell you really are.”
Laria ’ s face contorts with rage, her fangs visible as she snarls. “ You think you ’ re something, don ’ t you? Let me remind you that you ’ re nothing.”
She circles me like a shark, her words as sharp as knives. “ No parents, no family, no one who gives a shit about you. You ’ re nothing but a charity case. A stray dog the academy took pity on. Do you really think anyone here actually wants you around?”
The words hit like physical blows, each one finding its mark with unerring precision. Laria ’ s eyes glitter with malicious glee as she continues her assault.
“ Do you not see how people look at you when you walk by? The disgust, the pity, the repulsion? They whisper behind your back, you know. Poor little Brigid, so desperate for attention, she ’ ll spread her legs for anyone who looks at her twice.”
I try not to let them, but her words hurt. They tap into my deepest insecurities, the trauma of being an outcast and all that comes with it. Rage and pain swirl within me, my shadow magic responding to the turmoil of my emotions. My shadows hum with barely contained fury. They want out.
Laria ’ s smirk widens. “ Think about it, Brigid. When was the last time someone actually wanted you around? You ’ re nothing but a freak, a joke, a—”
The shadows explode outward, whipping around us like living ropes of darkness. Laria stumbles back, her eyes wide with genuine fear now. I can feel my magic surging, stronger than ever before, threatening to overwhelm me.
I struggle to rein in the wild, beating energy. It ’ s like trying to hold back a crumbling tower of bricks with my bare hands. My heart pounds, each beat sending another push of power through my veins.
“ What ’ s wrong, freak? Can ’ t control your little party trick?” Laria says, trying for disdain, but I catch the tremor in her voice.
I close my eyes, focusing inward.
Breathe.
Control.
I can do this. I have to do this. The shadows twist around me, resisting my attempts to pull them back.
“ Careful, Brigid,” Laria taunts, taking a step back. “ Wouldn ’ t want to hurt anyone, would you? Then again, maybe that ’ s exactly what you want. You ’ re not fit to be around anyone, are you? Your true colors are showing, shadow bitch.”
Her words sting, and a flash of Lochan ’ s cold expression as he left me there last night flashes through my mind, but I use the pain to fuel my concentration. Slowly, agonizingly, I feel the shadows begin to fade. It ’ s like trying to stuff an overfilled suitcase, every tentacle of darkness fighting against my will.
Finally, with a last push of effort, I manage to pull the shadows back, to calm them. I open my eyes, panting heavily, to see Laria staring at me with disgust.
“ You ’ re a nightmare,” she spits. “ And nightmares don ’ t belong here. Remember that when you ’ re alone in your bed tonight, wondering why no one can stand to be around you.”
As she walks away, I see a shadow snake out and swirl around her feet, tripping her. Laria stumbles but catches her step before she falls flat on her face. Swishing her blonde hair behind her, she straightens herself and stalks off.
I stare at Laria ’ s retreating form. How did that happen? I had my shadows under control, I ’ m sure of it. The tendrils had receded, curling back into me. Yet somehow, a rogue shadow had lashed out, almost as if it had a mind of its own, wrapping around Laria ’ s ankle and nearly sending her sprawling.
I ’ m still thinking about it when I sense a presence behind me. Then Marius steps out of the shadows.
“ That wasn ’ t me,” I tell him.
“ That was me,” he smirks.
I start walking away from him, in the other direction.
“ You ’ re welcome,” he calls.
My middle finger flips up in reply. Marius jogs and catches up with me.
Marius falls into step beside me, his long strides easily keeping pace with my brisk walk.
“ What do you want?” I snap, not wanting to deal with him right now. Not after Lochan.
“ From you, little bird? Everything.”
“ Oh, is that all?” I can ’ t win. Lochan won ’ t come near me, and Marius won ’ t stay away. And neither of them seem to give a shit about what I want.
Marius grabs my wrist. I try to shake him off, but his grip is strong. “ What happened?” His eyes narrow and stare into mine.
I look away. “ Nothing.”
“ Did someone hurt you?” His voice is dangerously low. “ Who was it? I ’ ll kill them.”
My laughter bubbles up like acid, bitter and hot. “ That ’ s funny coming from you. Aren ’ t you the one who ’ s been playing mind games with me since I got here? Do you think that ’ s fun for me?”I yank my wrist free, glaring at him. “ And for your information, the only person who hurt me was myself. I was stupid enough to think...” I trail off, shaking my head. “ It doesn ’ t matter.”
Marius ’ s eyes darken, his jaw clenching. “ It was Lochan, wasn ’ t it?”
I freeze, my heart skipping a beat. How does he know?
“ I can smell him on you,” Marius growls, his nostrils flaring. “ That self-righteous prick. What did he do?”
“ Nothing I didn ’ t ask for,” I mutter, looking away. “ Just drop it, Marius.
Marius steps closer, his eyes boring into mine. “ Tell me what happened.”
“ Why do you care?” I snap, taking a step back. “ It ’ s none of your business.”
“ Everything about you is my business,” he says, his voice low and intense. “ You ’ re mine, Brigid. Whether you like it or not.”
Part of me wants to run, to get as far away from him as possible. But another part, a darker part that I try to ignore, shivers in a good way at his possessiveness.
“ I ’ m not yours,” I say, but my voice lacks conviction.
Marius smirks, reaching out to trace a finger along my jaw. “ Keep telling yourself that, little bird. But we both know the truth.”
I jerk away from his touch, my heart racing. “ You don ’ t get to talk to me about the truth. Not when you keep secrets and play games, Marius.”
“ You ’ re not ready for the whole truth. But I ’ ll give you this—you ’ re special, Brigid. More special than you know. And there are people who would use you, hurt you, to get what they want, because of who you are.”
“ Like you?” I spit.
Marius ’ s lips curl into a cruel smile. “ Oh, I absolutely want to use you, little bird. But not like that.”
I shudder at the dark promise in Marius ’ s words, and feel my cheeks flushing despite my anger. “ What exactly do you want from me, Marius?”
His eyes gleam with wicked intent as he leans in close, his breath hot against my ear. “ You want the truth? I want to break you apart and put you back together. I want to show you the depths of your power, to make you embrace the shadows inside you.”
His hand slides to my throat, thumb pressing lightly against my vein. “ I want to hear you scream my name as I fuck you senseless.”
My breath catches, desire warring with self-preservation. I should run. I should tell him to go to hell. Instead, I tilt my head back, exposing more of my neck to his touch.
“ And what makes you think I ’ d let you?” I ask, my voice embarrassingly breathy.
Marius chuckles. “ You ’ re a terrible liar, little bird.” He reaches out his hand and tips my chin up so my eyes are looking straight into his. “ Don ’ t forget our deal. You owe me a night.”
He drops his hand and walks away, and it ’ s the second time in two days a man has left me standing there, speechless.